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Fic
Friday, 30 April 2004

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Posted by ill/xbebelishuzx at 9:57 PM EDT
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Monday, 1 March 2004

I know that if I tell that person, it would just ruin everything I've been trying to buid up over the years. All of the memories, the relationship, the friendship... gone in an instant. I know I don't want that to happen. I would give up everything in the world, just to make that person happy, so my feelings remain trapped. This person doesn't need a loss of a friendship over something this stupid, which is myself and my feelings. I don't want to be selfish, and make this person miserable in exchange for my happiness. [Ji Hye] If only I could show him how much I truly love him and care for him. I know I can't tell him how I feel because that would just be another distraction in his life. His family problems are already a burden... I don't want to be one as well. It would probably damage our friendship-- and he is my best friend. I would never let anything break our friendship because his friendship means everything to me. I love him, but I can never tell him how I feel. Everytime I try, I fail. I'm lost in confusion... [Eric] What do you do when you feel like the one loving, but not being loved in return? The only thing I think of is her. Every day, every night, I wonder what she's doing, what she's thinking, if she misses me back, if I should tell her, and on. Something tells me she doesn't love me back, nor does she have any feelings for me at all, rather than just friends. I just have to show it and prove it to her and she will realize how much I love her, without words, but I never have the chance. I just don't want to get hurt. She knows I care for her, but she has no hint about how I feel towards her. As much as she already knows me by heart, she still doesn't know. God knows how much I love her. If only she knew... - - - - - - - - - - - - - **Ring! Ring! Ring!** the bell alarmed. I slightly jumped out of my seat, now awoken. It was now time for my next class. I was trying to camouflage myself into a group of my classmates because I caught Mrs. Park glaring at me. "Ji Hye!" the teacher called. "Yes, Mrs. Park..?" I answered. "You need to try to stay awake in class.." Mrs. Park said laughing a little. "Oh, I'm sorry Mrs. Park," I apologized politely. "That's okay, it's not going to happen again right? You may be excused now," she said smiling. "Okay, thanks, I'll see you tomorrow," I said, heading towards the door with my eyes glued to the floor because of embarrassment. I opened the door and entered my next class. Everybody stared at me, I was late. I sat down next to my best friend, Eric Mun, the nicest, sweetest, funniest guy on Earth -- well, at least he was to me. "Hey," Eric warmly greeted with a smile. "Hey, Eric," I replied, returning the smile. - - - - - - - - - - - - - Since Eric's parents divorced when he was at a young age, life hasn't been a smooth road. Eric's mother, Grace Mun, has been raising him alone. She doesn't have much to give to her precious son, though she wished she could give him everything. Eric had nothing, but didn't ask for more than he received. He knew his mother has been trying her best to support themselves, struggling to survive with the small amount she earns at work as a maid for the Joo family. By the time she comes home, she is always exhausted and she just allows herself to collapse on the bed. "Mom! I'm home!" Eric screamed, throwing his bookbag on the bed near him.There was no response. "Mom?" Eric asked, concerned. She was laying on the bed, half asleep and half awake. Eric already figured she was extremely tired from one glance at her. His face saddened because he knew what his mother had been going through. "Eric..I know this isn't the best time to tell you..." she continued "...I'm sending you to America so you could live with your father. I've put you through too much and I know I'm not always here for you like you need, so I thought your father could take the job to do so." "What about Ji Hye? I just have to leave her like that?! You didn't even ask me how I felt or asked for my approval..." he yelled out in frustration. "I'm sorry, Eric.. there's no other choice." Eric's eyes began to water. He knew he couldn't let his mother see his weakness so he covered up his teary eyes with anger on his face. He did not respond to his mother. He looked out the window; it was very gloomy and it was raining, which made the matters worse. Eric wanted to stop thinking, so he needed to refresh his mind. He picked up his jacket and walked out of his house with a blank stare at direction towards the door. He knew he had no one else to turn to except for Ji Hye, so she could soothe and relieve his pain. There's nothing else I need in this world... but her. **Knock Knock** The door opened slowly... "Hey, what are you doing here?" Ji Hye questioned with surprise. "....." Eric was drenched. His clothes were soaked and the tips of his hair were dripping unstoppably. Jinhye could see his saddened eyes and it hurt her deeply as if somebody had just stabbed her heart. "Come in," Jinhye hesitated to say. Eric sat down. His stomach grumbled loudly. "Are you hungry?" Jinhye asked. "Oh no, I just ate," Eric said lying. "Come on, I'll get you something to eat," she said, wrapping a dry, clean towel around Eric's back. Eric hasn't eaten in the past 24 hours. His mom couldn't afford to put food on the table every day, but Eric never complained. Jinhye knew his family problems and his thoughts, let alone his personal life. She knew something was wrong, she could just feel it; she knew he didn't walk to her house in the rain, soaked with an undefined expression on his face for no reason. But this time, he hasn't mentioned anything about what happened. He just remained silent with a look of despair in his eyes. - - - - - - - - - - - - - [Eric] I'm sorry Jinhye, for leaving without notice and never speaking a word about my leave... I just didn't want you to worry about me. I think you would be happier that way so you could live your own life and not have me to interfere. You've always helped me when I needed help. You've just been there for me too much.. too much that I didn't deserve it. I've been overwhelmed by your worries, support, advice, and you're the only person that has truly made me happy. I will love you forever, regardless of my leave... I promise. "This is Los Angeles, California. Please step out of the plane in an orderly line. Make sure to bring all your belongings and have a nice day!" the flight attendant announced. Eric was sitting on the front seat of the plain, just watching a little boy and girl playing with dolls. Sigh. All of the memories rush back to Eric's mind immediately. **Flashback** 6th grade "Jinhye!" Eric yelled out from the garden. "Let's play tag! You're it!" "No, that's not fair" Jinhye pouted, walking towards Eric. "You're it!" she said tagging him and running away. Jinhye ran as fast as she could avoiding Eric. She didn't notice she had just ran in a circle. "Hah! Got you!" Eric said laughing out loud, tackling Jinhye down. Jinhye frowned and a sign of pain was visible on her face. "I'm sorry!" Eric utters. His eyebrows scrunched up with a worried expression. Eric brings her back inside Jihnye's house. He headed straight to the kitchen, scurrying through the fridge. "Here" Eric says, handing Jinhye the bag of ice. "Thanks" Jinhye replies smiling. **End of Flashback**

Posted by ill/xbebelishuzx at 4:43 AM EST
Updated: Friday, 30 April 2004 10:06 PM EDT
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