E-mail: Chael_hamm@hotmail.com

Just because I have time to manage a website and make all this cool stuff doesn't mean I don't have time to hear from you! But in case your still a little hesitant and a little scared of over stepping your bounds, I am providing here a set of guidelines for contacting me.

1. If you feel the unstoppable need to, you may send me a complaint, rebuttal, or insult with a limit of one per week. More than one makes me cry.

2. When you feel the unstoppable need to, you are more than welcome to send me praise, fan mail,  ideas, or incoherent ramblings with a limit of 15 per week. After 15 I get vain.

3. Sending money (or gifts) is encouraged. There is a  limit of 5 thousand dollars per week. Sending me more than that indicates that I'm receiving drug money. It also takes me into a new tax bracket.

4. Do not waste your time sending me forwards. My mind has been programmed to ignore any emails starting with "Fwd:" If you managed to find something really neat in a forward, copy it into a normal message and send it to me.

5. Always expect me to reply. If I don't respond within a week, you can assume I'm either dead or  just hate you.

E-mail: Chael_hamm@hotmail.com