Almost anyone would agree that there is an inherent link between the body and mind, at least to a certain degree. Some (including myself) throw the spirit/soul into the mix when considering holistic health. I've come to believe, at least for now, that maybe the soul itself is the link between the body and mind. But that's a whole other mess of thoughts.
Today, for various reasons, my mind is on the body. What is the body, really? The empty shell that houses the soul for the brief incarnation? An organic "machine" comprised of cells, minerals, and fluids? A network of qi and chakras? A huge network of electromagnetic energy running through physical systems? A living work of art? All of the above?
Whatever it is, the body of any living thing, being essentially mortal, is ergo impermanent. Which is probably why most major religions emphasize cultivating the spirit rather than the body. I think it's best summed up in the Dhammapada (I'm not Buddhist but a lot of my own beliefs and spirituality closely resemble Buddhist thought) where it reminds the reader that "You are a dried up leaf." Whether from bodily illness or external forces, whether five minutes from now or five decades from now, at some point, the body will eventually give out, and its remains will return to the Earth from which they came. La vie est breve: un peu d'espoir, un peu de reve, et puis -- bonsoir! ("Life is brief: a little hope, a little dream, and then, goodnight!" Leon Montenaeken)
Sounds somewhat depressing when taken at face value, but i don't really see it that way. It certainly doesn't mean go ahead and screw around with your body because you're going to die anyway. Rather (at least how i take it) it means take care of the body you've been given, because it is so fragile, and enjoy it because it is only yours to enjoy for a relatively short time. (Not that i always take my own advice, but i take much better care of myself, nutritionally, anyway, than in the past.) And to set one's identity in one's body is to set limitations on how you define yourself... again, something i know rationally but don't always self-apply.
Then again, i do have a more dark view on this because i've seen too many bodies going bad. About three years after Mom died, when Grandpa was in the hospital and the doctors weren't sure how much longer he would live, i wrote a journal entry about both of their cancers, and bodies going bad, and concluded, "Life is short and the body is treacherous." In some ways i still carry this belief. Then again i've been at war with this body on one level or another ever since i was four. (And it's weird, yes, but i don't think of this body as really "belonging" to me, ergo, rarely refer to it as "my" body.)
Ever since the "whatever" (molestation or what have you) i've sort of viewed this body as "dirty" or contaminated. A million showers would never change this view. The ED worked on so many levels... the idea of needing to "punish" the body for its state of contamination, correction of a perceived state of taking up more space than i deserved, trying to make myself as "small" as i felt, Freud would've said it was an attempt at staving off sexuality, blah blah blah. (Of course skating probably didn't help on that matter of body image... man, did i ever pick the wrong sport... again, that's another tangent.)
The sad thing is, i'm not alone in this. I should be taking comfort in this fact, but it's incredibly tragic. Whether it's eating disorders, or muscle dysmorphia, or just plain body hatred, so many of us --- men and women --- are at war with our bodies. Not even out of health concerns in most instances, but rather, society's "standards" which, ironically enough, the vast majority of society can't even meet. And the damn media. Every day we're bombarded with images which "remind" us how we're supposedly not good-looking enough, not thin enough or not muscular enough, not youthful enough, et cetera ad nauseum. (Once again, could go off on another rant on how poisonous media is... perhaps another day).
When i was still in the hospital, not doing very well, my friend Vandana said something that really hit home. "It's better to love your body for what it can DO, not for what it LOOKS like." She went on to say an anorexic figure skater can't do nearly as much as a healthy one, which was the main point she was trying to make, but it did make me think. Loving your body because it can do things, because it can experience things... not because it does or does not live up to the so-called "ideal" image. I guess even that puts limitations on self, because it still identifies the self with the body... still, she makes a valid point. To this day i want to shake everyone i hear talking negatively about their bodies, and tell them, your body is not who you are! Again, Kristin T. and i were talking about that the other day, about how the true measure of a person is not something which can be measured on any scale... or a gradebook or judge's scorecard, for that matter.
Again, as always, i contradict myself.
Maybe it's because i still despise this body somewhat that i'm attracted to the view of cultivating the mind rather than indulging the desires of the body. Is the body, though, really something which has to be tamed, through self-discipline, or by self denial? How much must the body be integrated with spiritual health?
What would it be like to truly make peace with one's body? What would that entail?
And why is this such a scary prospect?
More entries like this one:
Nobody said it was easy
Rant about the diet industry
Funny how we feel so much
The myth of self
