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I cherish your amity oh mine benevolent LEBANON
Guardian of refugee and progenitor of freedom
The Mount upon the Sea and sublime talisman
A healing balm for your children and an heirdom

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Emotions burn forever like fire in my soul
Dormant gargantuans like embers of a coal
Churning through feelings I am loath within to hold
My entrails to scorch and my innards to scold
And flames to consume this bittering cold
Of innermost thoughts and of things untold
And of that hidden within yearning to unfold
But to purge this heart of me e'er to silnece sold
And to forge the mien of me stalwart and bold
Hence must I unearth what was shielded in me of old
And utter inanities more precious to me than gold
Thence to forsake reality e'er fantasy to enfold
And exist in the shadow beyond the years to mold
Alas a world afresh gilded by reveries to behold

In the core of my being deem I all to be but vain
A futility unavailing for the hecatomb even to explain
Matters of heart and all which to life may pertain
The pitying woes and scant victories that remain
For in the pith of my heart caution I to abstain
From discourse yet my innards hasten to complain
Albeit have I naught but to utter essences sane
Which to others aught but expressions mundane
Shall I then cease the drivel mine anguish to sustain
'Tis bound to fester within nor emancipate the pain
Thus pour I mine soul in words without restrain
To discharge the confession within e'er to constrain
An arena of emotions purblind one from the twain
Unleash the bitter reality of life's most sacred bane
A heedless waste of words akin waters in the rain

So journey must I through figment's course
To quest a passage out of the fire's force
That sets the heart ablaze in its cruel path
Helpless to its ever consuming wrath
And ah! To flee the realities that rage about
A world anew bourne of mine fancy to scout
For nary a comfort in life an outcast as I could find
And none a task so great or small would bind
Me to heave to mine heart's rightful worth
Though a man would aim to strive e'er from birth
So what is left for such as I but lenitive verse
A piteous surrogate to quell mine savage curse
Words alone to bestrew mordant existence
And to live yonder in the dreamy distance
Where precious words on barren hearts transcend
And empty words on noble hearts descend


What has befallen me mother
Over the long loathsome years
Wherefore not much for me has changed
Save for these lonesome raw tears
And in the tragic masque we live
No matter what I would give
Seems as though naught had I done
But to bend to someone else's steers
Alas that I played only a feeble role
And gained nothing to my soul
But this billow of brutal years

What has befallen me mother
The dreams held I once in my hand
What of the fair glistening hopes
That once so ardently I had planned
Why have they all been shattered mother
And why to the winds scattered they all
Like worthless grains of sand

What has befallen of the hero mother
The one I once wanted to be
And what of the champion
I once longed for all to see
Have I not strove hard enough
To make it mother
Or was it designed for others
To take it mother
And the remnant of us dross
Cast aside akin the debris




What has befallen me mother
That nary a dream has come to pass
And to behold the deeds of the years
The else's trophies behind gilded glass
Was I meant a hero to be mother
Or naught is me but failure in life's game
Had I not endeavored to transcend
Though my efforts appeared too lame
'Tis droll that once dared I even dream
E'en that waxed to me but vain
Did I e'er a chance in life sustain mother
Utter me truth missed I mine train
Born my throat to the edge of the knife
And destined to suffer the pain

What has befallen me mother
To the childhood without a care
And what of all the callow years
Surmised I henceforth life was fair
Wither have they gone mother
Naught is left but hardship to bear
E'en toilsome days seem to perish
Like smoke they vanish in the air
How can I withstand such anguish mother
Heading nowhere within the same place
Be there someone to lend a meaning
To this balmy frivolous race

What has befallen me mother
The countless friends I once had
Wither have they now gone to
When sour life lo transmuted bad
What betided the merry laughter
That once filled my heart with gladness
The dreaming of bright tomorrows
Sanctioned no vantage for any sadness
What befell mine dearest friend mother
Him who vowed by the side of me to stay
Alas appears to me but wishful thinking
Perchance life his hands had tied to stray
Forlorn we are shorn of childhood friends
Questing naught but a dream in the wind
Amidst a barren day that never ends


What has befallen me mother
That I am thus languished and old
How has life paraded in haste
Without the moment's rapture to hold
Behold me now mother
Youth is spent and I grow older
Devoid of strength and waxed not bolder
To make a single dream unfold
And why was I never told
That hopes ofttimes mine heart may wound
And dreams alas may never come
Why was I left to conceive mother
That I could be the one
To incur a difference in a world of woe
Why was I never warned
That the anguish can only grow
Why be there for me no prospect to meet
Hopes and dreams for me ne'er to greet
Why be it that heroes only destined to be born
Why from us our dreams are torn
The glory of men so very rare
And losers such as I dream not dare

How be it that savor I pity for the self
Such thing I strove desperately ne'er to do
How be it that I cannot cease lamenting
And discerning that which to me is true
Would a gentle soul utter unto me
When the heart must restrain its dreaming
Be there end to the soul's ragged feeling
To what end will a man cast off the hope
What then be left for him in life to cope
Be it healing or another darksome grope

Had I known mother
That e'en a dream was not meant for me
No splendor to my future nary a hope to be
Only the breath in my bossom
Some bread crumbs in my chest
A hovel for my flesh and bones
Wounds too deep down my breast
Had I known mother
That life would toss me the loser's end
Subvert and consume me at every bend
The marks of sticks and stones
Cover my heart from day to day
No love to bind me
Nary a soul to befriend the way
A dreadful emptiness the heart to rend

Confound it I'm worn out from living
Naught is left in me for giving
Had I known the rain would fall forever
A cloud so dark my star to sever
Hopes gone stale ere they were born
Dreams turned sour in haste are shorn
Leave me naught but sores that bleed
And nary a morrow for me to lead
To Chase rainbows in a storm
On cold days that never warm

Since heroes are heroes to be born
And us remnant bound to fade in the mist
Pitiable has been this our life's gist
Akin the clowns we are
To humor the lofty few
Harlequins we are
That bequest life's useless ado
To entertain the hero's day
Our life mere pebbles in his way
Shall I then crawl up in a corner
Lament the hero I never became
What good will this afford me mother
'Tis but a shame all the same

Mother Had I known all this before
Had I the choice to exit the door
Ne'er the years on dead hopes to waste
Neither chagrin nor rue to taste
A hero perchance naught is me
Nor what's meant a loser to be
Perhaps a time spent getting closer
To the things I could feel and see
I would deny myself the basic need
To purge myself of every greed
Learn to weed the hate
And love to seed
I'd live my life without a name
No abiding shelter all the same
Had I known all this before mother
Surely I'd have chosen ne'er to stay
But to abandon far away

I'd visit a thousand enchanted places
And look upon a thousand faces
Speak of things I dare not have said
And do the things I once did dread
In a world like night amidst such dreams
One to escape to each night it seems
And come to this place of wonder
Where no loser's heart is torn assunder
For by day hopes are nill
But by night a thousand be to fill
'Tis then that to dream by night is mine
'Tis then mother indeed that I'm fine
In the enchanted world I create
Where all my longings I can sate
To ease the pain of being a loser
A place for me to be a chooser
Neither destiny to meddle nor the fate


Read The Full Version

I'd touch the heart of the elm in the garden
A thousand times on a dusky day
Proscribe mine heart to ever harden
To the cry of the willow beside the way

I'd caress the leaves of the gentle red oak
Fondle the twigs of the sugar pine
A thousand cedars mine eyes would stroke
And with the redwood ethos to entwine

I'd smell the grass in the precocious morning
Drink from the dew on every blade
Bathe in the transient mist adorning
The quaint shadows that never fade

I'd gambol the brume that wafts the field
Pick the grains of a thousand stems
Make every lurking wasteland to yield
A paradise to quicken a myriad gems

I'd gather the living soil with my fingers
And sculpt a thousand clumps of clay
Pattern the dust that ever lingers
A Paragon to life in bountiful display

I'd join the frolick of the forest creature
Soar aloft with the bevies on high
Let a thousand eagles be my teacher
And grace my heart with heaven's cry

I'd listen to the crows' fussing titters
Trade a thousand taunting jeers
Pierce the silence with their twitters
Carve the daybreak with their sneers

I'd hark the chirp of a thousand fledglings
Plead their hunger to the waking morn
And the sound of a thousand yearlings
Arousing compassion in pathos unborn

I'd gaze upon a thousand shifting horizons
Affix my eyes on every portrait drawn
Unfetter my heart that it may wizen
To life's budding essence upon its throne

I'd stalk the light of a thousand dawns
Fill mine heart with their healing nectar
Upon their balm mine soul to fawn
And rapt forever amid their spledor

I'd peer the birth of the tranquil sunrise
Capture a thousand glistening beams
With their wonder mine heart baptize
And pen a thousand stirring themes

I'd grasp the charm of the placid daybreak
Clasp the merry lark of a thousand rays
The jolly shafts upon mine brow to wake
A symphony of tints mine heart to play

I'd usher the advent of the abstruse evening
Tread the ambits of a thousand dusks
Forbid the twilight from e'er retreiving
And tame a thousand gloamings brusque

I'd scope the verge of every profound ocean
Tread the shores of a thousand lands
Chisel mine essence upon the reflection
Of eternity within their infinite sands

I'd dwell in aeries atop the lofty mountains
Aloft a thousand resplendent hills
Drink from the raw mystic fountains
That rive the bosom of a thousand rills

I'd drench in the mist of a thousand mornings
Let the dew trickle down my arid skin
Becalm the cry of the heart yearning
Rebirth to quaff from nature's kin

I'd stand forever in the trickling rain
Stunned in the savage hum of its squalling
And the melody of its rise and wane
Echo the entrancing chants of its falling

I'd roam athwart the enchanted forests
Sojourn the hollow of a thousand lairs
The wold a haven e'er to me dearest
Mine flesh to veil and the soul to bare

I'd explore the visage of the quiet moon
That rises a thousand times in the welkin
Sway the stars to scale heaven's noon
And bask my soul in their luster virgin

I'd croon with the lark a song together
Prance the morning to a thousand tunes
Chime with the wind to hearten me forever
To pledge the scribe of a thousand runes

I'd listen to the echo of a thousand breezes
Heed the bellow of the raging gales
Howl with the storm raving reprises
And drift amidst the winter hails

I'd hunker alone in the boundless meadow
Harken the silence of a thousand ages
Whisper quietly to the lonesome shadow
Etching the seasons on verdant pages

I'd give mine naked heart to ever searching
A thousand wonders of a gossamer earth
Grasp an ilk of wisdom naught of learning
But of life's essence within awaiting birth

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Please Visit My Other Pages

Of Insanity And Solitude (an epic poem)

An Ode To The Companion

Antithesis; A Journey Of Alter Ego

Ode To Mother Land

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