ETERNALLY

Chapter Five

Blessed?

With all the emptiness I felt within me I still continued to understand my position in life. For my memory of my experience was fading quickly and I couldn't rely on memory of the future no longer. My life felt like a failure. I was about to have a child, I wasn't doing well in school and Shanna was so far from my heart. My time at school, began to get longer, I didn't hang around many teens. My time at school and home was spent alone. Shanna would call once in a while, but we didn't speak much anyway. She would complain so much about her, money, her mother, and me. I was so tired of it. I began to pray and ask that everything would come out perfectly. That there would be no more fighting or sadness. When Shanna was first pregnant I prayed and asked the Lord if he could take it away. "You know how it is, I had no money, our parents would be so upset." So as I did so a vision appeared. A little person with cute little black eyes and head turned to me. It was my child. My child looked at me and stared; I could see it's shoulders and skinny arms. My child was so beautiful that, I began to cry because I wanted my child gone. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling as I begged for the Lord not to take my child as I had once asked. He had showed me that my life is nothing without this child from God. Shanna would occasionally have dreams of her child in her house or besides her as she traveled. So to us we knew she was pregnant.

Chapter Six

Araina's Birth

At the hospital was where my calmness was. Shanna was feeling much pain and her mother was so upset. I stayed away from Shanna's mother. For I didn't need her to bring me down also, I slepted over night with Shanna waiting for the Lord to unbirth my child from Shanna. I laid on a chair that folded back into a bed. All I could hear the beeping of a monitor hooked up to Shanna's tummy. Quietness throughout the room. I felt so bad, I had ruined Shanna's life and probably her mother's too. But my most concern was the Lord. Would he have vengeance on me for having a child out of wedlock? Would my child be haunted by demons as I was? So many feelings for others and my tiredness brought me to a sleep. As I awoke, the lights in the room were on, a nurse was calming Shanna, and I was excited. The nurse claimed she was about to notify the grandmother of our child. Shanna's mother left long ago. This day was so unique. It was early in the morning so it was very dark. And it was like a dream, until Shanna started to cry. The pain of contractions move very rapidly along her stomach. Her eyes were so beautiful, I had never wanted her to go through pain. For the pain that she was experiencing is the pain that Eve had when she birthed her own children. Shanna's mother showed up and I sensed such abandonment for her. I felt that she saw our child as a sickness. Shanna began to give birth and the nurse asked if either Shanna's mother or I could wait outside the room. Now, I wasn't going anywhere, I wanted to see my child. I've been waiting so long. Shanna's mother explained out loud, "I don't see why I was called here in the first place!" she barged right out of the room and then the building. Now isn't that irresponsible? God would never leave one of his children suffering. Why, because He loves us. I guess Shanna's mother didn't love her as much as I thought. Shanna finally gave birth. I saw a little face and it was the face I had seen when I was praying. The face looked at me and I telepathically said to my child, "Your finally here, God loves you and so do we." Then my child turned away to see it's mother. Shanna was smiling so bright that it was like a once in a life time smile. She was so exhausted and so very happy. Finally our wait is over, here is our daughter Araina.

Chapter Seven

Shanna's Mother

Before Araina's birth, Shanna's mother, Josie, spoke to Shanna suggesting to her to give up her rights to our unborn child to her. Josie claimed that if our baby was born majorly sick that Josie's insurance will cover the money needed to cure our baby. But only if the baby was given to her. Shanna was very worried, her mother made her very worried. Yellow jacket, ammonia, fever, so many problems that could occur after birth. But nothing worried me for my faith in God was the insurance of our child's health. Josie has always tried to destroy us. If Shanna would have gave my child to Josie I'd have no part in Araina's life today. I really didn't have no say in it. Shanna was the one giving birth, so who am I to give answers. After the birth of Araina, Josie told Shanna, to place her last name behind Araina's instead of mine. After all the wickedness of Josie, cursing at Shanna saying she's worthless, and is going to throw her out. of her home Shanna agreed. You see if Araina had my last name I'd probably be able to see my child everyday instead of once in awhile. Josie is so hateful toward me. She decided that I can only see my child on Sundays. Then she said I needed a job to see my child. And Shanna agreed as well. It hurt me so much to know that Josie was the Devil towards me and Shanna was a helper. All my friends would tell me stay with her, for the baby. So I stayed with Shanna. It was clear that I loved my child, but Shanna, I didn't want nothing to do with her. She was always complaining about money, and how hard it is to listen to her mother yell at her. What her mother demanded she had to follow. I told Shanna to ignore her mother and think about us as a family. But the deal was that Shanna loved her mom. And Shanna didn't want to believe that the love was gone on her mother's side. So she was stuck, it was either following her mothers ways or letting my ways from the Lord comfort her. She spoke and decided her ways. To make Josie happy I went out and got a job. After months of yelling from Shanna that I should get a job I did. I told her it was not because she yelled at me all the time, but because the Lord gave me one. But Shanna was so strong unto her mother's demands our relationship was crushed. Josie had won once again. Not only did she win on not letting me see Araina, but took Shanna away as well. Josie was like a demon she used Shanna to get to my will. Shanna was the closest thing to my heart. I guess my faith in the Lord had faded a bit for if I had faith I would not have let Josie destroy my will.