ETERNALLY

Chapter One

Step Fourth

ETERNALLY , That's what I call this record of memory. For what you say, what you do or think has always been here since the beginning of Life, eternally.

When I was a child I remember being some- what of a brat. Giving my parents a bad time, having them chase me all around, not listening to them. I always loved my parents, they were my protectors. I never knew much of my childhood because my parents have hid many events from my knowledge. My mother remembers me as a child telling them that there was a man in my room. I would have conversations with him, but, of course, kids go through this stuff right. Well I had no consciousness of this.

Although, this lasted some great time. As time went by to fourth grade I started to feel different. As if my friends were childish. I once had a dream that I kepted in my heart, for some great time. The dream embraced three other people besides me. Two girls, and a boy. I remember the physical identity. One girl had brown hair the other had blondish brown, the boy had brown. They were all somewhat white. Both girls had affection for me, but one I liked ever so much. I care so much for her. The dream ends with a kiss. And she was killed by a semi-truck. Fourth grade was the only grade that I had that dream, until eighth grade.I was attending South Junior High in Nampa, Idaho. So many good looking girls and one caught my eye and I was attracted to her. And of course I started to go out with her. Two weeks later my dream in fourth grade came once again. The girl I cared for in my dream was her. I told her, and she did not believe me. Later that year I realizing something, I was able to read minds, to make people laugh and get into their emotions. I told my parents of this strange phase but they didn't care, it seemed as if they didn't believe me. I was able to see any women naked, you know, see through their clothes. Not exray vision, it was as if I could connect into their memory. If they looked into the mirror, I would see what they saw. I also told this to my parents, they said it was my imagination. Imagination huh, well I was able to tell people where there birth marks or scars were on their bodies. Still, those who I didn't try to do my psyhic ability on, didn't believe me, until I proved them wrong. So I then knew who were believers, (my friends). I was also able to follow people walking away from me for miles. I didn't care much, for people who would make fun of me, and say I was trying to make friends. I didn't have any friends, that were believers. The only one who believed me the most was my old girlfriend Shanna. I knew there was some kind of confinement between us spiritually. Although she was a challenge, I couldn't read her that good as others. As time went by I would alter, as in being normal like other boys,(laughing a lot, goofing off, making fun of others), and that to me was terrible. As I would alter, girls would be interested in me in minutes. So then I would get confused, "If my destiny is Shanna why must I like other females?" I never found the answer to that. So we broke up many times, but our relationship lasted a year then. In ninth grade I went to West Jr. High so did Shanna. That year of her eighth grade, and my ninth we broke up. Everything was so different, new faces, teachers, friends. I became a terrible guy once again. I was always with my stoner friends, ignoring Shanna always, and that lead me what I am today. Knowing how much pain I put towards Shanna, I was totally worthless. I went to a store called M & W and purchase a can of rubber cement, now the year when I met Shanna I was huffing on rubber cement, why because it felt good to get away from worries. So the time came, I was planning to get high and over dose, and never come down. I went to a little park on Northside of Nampa, stood on a little bridge and huffed and inhaled. Everything started to echo. Everything went dark, my surroundings disappeared. Then a light appeared upon me from the sky above.

Chapter Two

DEATH

I noticed that the only thing that I could see was the light. This light was so bright, it didn't hurt my eyes, but brought fear, fear of being unintelligent. I looked above and saw three rectangular shaped doors of light. The first door on my left was my past. The second on my right my future. Above my head, the third my present. I was so amazed and happy, and selfish. I choose the second door, as I did so the other three doors moved away like a assembly line. Now the only light there was, was the one above my head hundreds and hundreds of feet. The light looked as if it started to move down towards me. It was like I was stuck in a tunnel as light flooded it. Closer and closer, I looked to see if I was floating but I could not see the ground for it was all black. Then it was like I was pushed out of my body. I saw my soul, no light shined from it. No sound at all was coming from it. The only light there was, was from this bright light. For some reason this light brightened everything except my soul. The great light was pushing me down into this blackness. My feet felt nothing, as if I had no legs. The light stop moving, when only my head was left. I was so scared and terrified. There was a face above me floating around my head to see if I was good or not. I then thought to say to this light, anything to have me not enter this eternity of darkness. I was starting to do so, then the light pushed me downwards.