The following Featured Post comes from Relationship minded area of Tone,

1. Impossible Reconciliation?
Sun, April 01, 2001 - 12:32 PM/MTN

Some of you may have heard stories of how families and friends were so hostile towards your relationships that you decided to cut them out of your lives. I have reached this point and am just now realizing how much damage my friends/family's behaviour has caused to our (meaning me and my past relationships) relationship - it may already be too late. With all of you and your experiences out there, I am wondering whether someone would be willing to talk about how your relationship and family was affected when you decided that parents or other friends/family members could not be a part of your life anymore. And once you decided that, did that make any reconciliation impossible? Even if hostile friends/parents changed their minds once they realized what they were missing out on...how much willingness to reconcile can one really expect from someone who has felt such hatred towards him or her...?

2. To The World

My parents raised me to respect ALL people. However, they did have a big problem with my first poor choice of friends. They fell into the category of "OK but not my son." My dad was from the farm type atmoshpere and although he taught me to be well mannerd (which I admire), both he and my mother secretly were. They feared that I'd get involed with the wrong crowd. What would the neighbors and other family members think. It was very difficult at first, me hanging around the gangsta' crowd. But they didn't give up. When they saw I wasn't like the rest , they finally came around to see that any girl I was involed with, wasn't just a girl. They found what I admire was a great person, even very similar to me in many ways.

They learned not only to accept, but to love. My friends , however, didn't understand the concept of maturity. After a few years, I've heard from old friends stating they don't know why their relationships are desasters. If you have true love, stand strong. Maybe if they allow themselves to know and see what it is you love in your partner, they will come around to acceptance, loving is not weak. its a way of growing up.

3. Issues Regarding Family

I am Mexican American. Gratefully, I have not had to experience the pain you are experiencing. My family wishes me nothing but the best. My family accepts the girl I choose to be with.

However, I know what it is like to have to come to the realization that you have to cut off ties with certain family members for your own good. I've had to cut ties with many for my own peace of mind. It's sad and painful.

It's easy for me to SAY, but I really think you and your sinificant other should live your own lives and not care what others think -- even if they are family. The storm has just begun. You must make yourself strong and be confident with your life choices in the face of criticism.

4. Ask Yourself

We can choose our friends, but not our family! What family members are tearing you apart? Parents/siblings or others. I would say for the others, who cares what they think. As for parents and siblings, they may come around. But remember this, the only one you truly have to worry about is your love, don't let others stupidity ruin your love. Being in an relationship calls for being strong to the outside world, work on yours and your other's relationship and when others see that you are truly happy, they may come around. I was 13 the first time I got serious, but had the attitude that if you didn't like what I was doing then forget you and just made sure my girl knew I loved her. From time to time I have fallin into making immature choices. I have learned over the years, I am now 22, that if someone wants a relationship they will go forward and hold nothing back, if that person is wery and keeps time between them then they are the one with the problem, maybe they haven't been loved as much as you provide. They fear being hurt, never show that they can not trust you.

5. To All Of You

I just would like to thank all of you for your very encouraging messages! Although I don't know you personally, it really helps to know that there are people out there who have gone through similar situations and made it. I am determined not to give into thinking, I'll never settle down with the right person. I will try to do the best I can at that. I really wish things were different in my life. Like many parents raise their children to be mature and well knowing of what things are to come. There are certain boundaries that they still are not willing to cross. Me being young and understanding the effects relationships prepares me to teach what I know to my kids. I'm not afraid to tell them love can be the most wonderfuliest thing, but also love be the most dangerous aswell.