“It’s the Shakespearean rule of invisibility - If he’s a fairy, he’s invisible. If he’s lying on the ground, he’s invisible. If he’s standing behind a transparent tree, he’s invisible. So yeah, Dustin’s triply invisible.” DLJ
“Jenna, you have goats in your mouth.” MLN
“Meghan, your dog is shitting on me.” JCH
“That stupid ball keeps falling off.” MLN
“I thought they were brass.” KEM
"Cup Size!"
“And through Athen’s gates we have devised to steal!. . . And paint them blue and put them back so all the Athenians look stupid.” DLJ
“Is this screwing in or out?” DC
“HE’S GROPING THE CAR!” MLN
“Oy. Vinyl.” KEM
“If we had an ‘e’ we could spell ‘cry’!” KGP, scrabble champion
“Intermission’s over when nature shuts up.” DCR
“Kyle doesn’t hurt me enough.” DLJ
“Why does Sarah keep shouting ‘minus two’?” KEM
“. . . and then reality walked in.” MLN
“Why are Jolly Ranchers called Jolly Ranchers?” BED
“They’re all ‘hims’. . . except for that one.” MLN
“No, not eureka - Binaca.” KEM
“Lysander! Dead? . . . or should I roll him over?” BED
“I have the hat. Wait, it’s a mental hat? Why can’t I see the mental hat?” TJCH
“She’s ripping her pants off and giving them to Kyle?!” TJCH
“Tisha, you’re a wonderful person and the show couldn’t go on without you.”
“A Midsummer Night’s Dream is brought to you by: the letter L, the number 1, and capital I.” TJCH, JMG
“Don’t whip me, I’m not in the mood.” MLN
“We’re the fairies.”
“Eeeeeeuw. You’re getting onion pizza. You’re wierd.”
“I’m okay, I think I broke the stage though.” LG, after a head-dive into the lattice work
“Screw me, screw me, when can you do me, I love yoooouuuu!”
“I want original Corn Nuts, not RANCH!” AZB
“Dan, are you God?” MLN
“No, why, should I be?” DLJ
“Techno is really fat women slapping their thighs together.” EMM
“Ain’t that a pisser.” DCR
“Goats, toads, sheep, purple cows, bagels, and chickens!” SR Crew
“No walking on the butter with shoes on!” DCR
“Dammit!” Gripters, attempting to set chairs marked with gaffer’s tape in the dark
“I don’t get it. Is it modern?” EJ2
“I don’t believe it!” V
“It’s five to eleven.” . . . . . . . “That’s disgusting!” DCR
“Get the spot off his crotch!” PF
“Let me be your condom. Let me!” AnS
“Breasts and fireworks!” EJ2
“The last time we met, you were also on the floor.” EJ2
“I don’t believe it!” V
“You look like a toad!” WAM
“That’s it! Hit it!” BG
“With what?!” GP
“How big is your hole, Paul? I still haven’t seen it.” TJCH
“WAAAAAUUUUGGHH!” AYL
“Arik, what the hell’s the matter with you? Do you just yell 'waugh' whenever you feel like it?” AS
“I don’t believe it!” V
“I’m shaving the sideburns. . . . It’s not easy. No one ever said it was easy.” AYL
“Now I lay me down to sleep/I park my chair so it will keep/If I should die before I wake/I pray the lord my chair to take.”
“Here. Beat me. . . I am your slave. . . Oh, do it again, do it again. . . I cast myself at your stinking feet, Madonna!” WAM
“Dan Giovanni.” JMG
“I don’t believe it!” V
“Salieri. . . . Salieri. . . . GUT!!” LG
“Well, he makes a beter big man than Dan did.” JMG
“Get him a girdle. I told you - a girdle!” BG
“I don’t believe it!” V
“Who are you talking to on comms?” DCR
“Dan.” EDR
“But you two aren’t on the same channel.”
“That’s why we’re standing next to each other.”
“You gave me the desire to serve you, which most men do not feel.” AnS
“I think we’re starting. The dark just went on.” EDR
“Why isn’t Adam talking? Tell him to talk, Tisha.” PF
“Rock me, Amadeus.” PF
“A bedroom. Because for me that is the most interesting place!” WAM
“I don’t believe it!” V
“What’s that, Arik? I didn’t quite get that. You had sex and it got wider? Okaaaaay.” PF
“I’m a jackass. It’s easy to be friends with a jackass.” WAM
“Let me get this straight. First he was a faerie, and now he’s walking around with pink bows on?”
“He never reams with his mouth closed?” PF
“I don’t believe it!” V
“Yeah. . . Hold out your arms and go ‘Rawr’.” PF
“Flipper returns.” JMG
“Paul, why is stage left squeaking?” TJCH
“Kirsten’s not the one I told to pee in a cup.” PF
“I don’t believe it!” V
“Look! We’re doing Amad.”
“I know guy named Ahmad, but I don’t think we’re doing him.” KEM
“Jacob ripped his crotch and I didn’t want to pin it for him so he did it and he pinned his sleeve to it.” CDM
“I’m not mad. I’m perturbed!” MLN
“I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t hold that position as long as Lloyd can.” DLJ
“Tisha, don’t take the big ones.” MLN
“What are you talkin about, the big ones?! They’re all about as big as my palm!” TJCH
“Will you bounce hips with me?. . . ‘cause it won’t hurt!” AL
“Elisa’s busting out all over!” EA
“An uplifting experience!” EST
“By the way, that script fell in the toilet.” MLN
“GAAAAAH!” ME
“Um, a screw just came out of my spotlight. Is that bad?. . . oh, never mind, it went back in.” KEM
“Okay, when I say go, I want you both to go, and go at the same time, so when I say go, go, but don’t go ‘til I say go, okay? Go!” PF
“Whaaaat?” KEM
“Nate’s downstairs paper crocheting Bubba.” MLN
“I don’t believe it!” V
“Isn’t a hacienda kind of like a taco?” JMG
“I’m playing with it just fine by myself, thanks.” TJCH
“Who’s eating the props?” BG
“No, I’m playing with my OWN tongue.” PF
“It’s a little chilly. I think I’ll put my shirt back on.” KEM
“David mooches in his sleep.”
“. . .But use your right hand, ‘cause you KNOW what your left’ll be doing.” BG
“You should be sitting towards your audience, Arik, so they can see your demented little face.” BG
“I can unzip zippers with my teeth.” EDR
“. . . no, Dan, that was Ellie, not Kirsten.” PF
“Mozart’s been going all day and all night, but his neighbors protest. . . springs up every moment, waiting for something. . . we can’t imagine what.” V
“I could. . . I know what he does in that cell by himself. . .” AnS
“You’ve got the right stuff, baby. . . No, Ariel does.” PF
“David’s just like grabbing me randomly.” TJCH
“Yeah, Chris kisses me. And then the music starts.” AYL
“I don’t think Chris wants to hear about my jerking pants.” DLJ
“Can I have the screamers over here?” CK
“Jesus the man, Arik the god.” BG
“Jesus the man, Arik the woman.” AS
“37. . . 38. . . 39! Now take him to Detroit.” LG
“Just one puff will change my whole. . .” “Mentality!” MLN. . . JMG
“I f I wasn’t related to him, I don’t think I’d want to have a long-term relationship with him.” SJL
“Just don’t say I’m (bah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah BAT MAN!) damned for all time!”
“Never saddle a dead horse - it kinda hurts a little.” JKdH
“What’s a man with half a brain?” DCR
“Couto!”
“Take off any hippie apparel. . .” EDC
“Cracker Chris and his big brass balls.” EDC
“My balls refract light.” EDC
"Couto, Josie says she's going to hurt you if you don't stop saying 'balls'." CTS
"Heh-heh. Balls." EDC
"That's it!" JKdH, muffled
"Could we fart again, please?" CTS
"Look at all my bile and flatulations. . ." CTS
“At least steal something respectable like tuna or a Beamer or something.”
“Watch the stick!” MP
“Would you like a French or a little one?” DLT
“Everyone’s always under me.” KEM
“If these are skittles, it’s all over.” MT
“I’ve had too many mentals tonight.” JAB
“Wild horses couldn’t break that backpack.” MLN
“Well, everyone wanted to screw him, so he just screwed himself.”
“You two had better not be going at it again under the table.” DLJ
“Play! Don’t any of you play during this part?” MP
“No, I don’t have any balls.” DNF
“Yeah, and all that water.” JMG, KEM
“Perspicacity!!” JMG, KEM
“Pluto’s moving into Sagittarius!” JMG
“Okay, where am I moving?” EDC
“I didn’t say Couto, I said Pluto!” JMG
“Knife-sucker!” LG, to JMG
“Playing with someone’s hair is a sexual come-on. Don’t start something you can’t finish.” TJCH
“Fade onto him. Just don’t go all at once so it looks like someone spit a big wad of bubble gum on him.” CTS
“The end is just a little nearer now.”
And to the graduating Seniors, one last quote:
"Sic transit gloria mundi."
"Thus passes the glory of the world. . ."