Defense mail from my only fan
Dearest Slitch, you have officially out evolved us as Tooksmen.You are a more advanced specimen of female.Basically,you have taken womankind out of the ribcage and put them back in the cagematch. This excites me mentally and after all, The brain is the biggest errogenous zone.DON'T LET THE NAYSAYERS PUT YOU DOWN AND USE GOD AS A SHIELD FOR THEIR SPITE. GOD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.GOD HAS MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN DEFEND THOSE WHO FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE,I DON'T KNOW IF YOU BELIEVE IN ONE ALL POWERFUL,GENDERLESS SUPREME BEING,BUT I DO.JESUS DID NOT TAKE COMPANY WITH RIGHTEOUS SNOBS. HE DINED WITH THIEVES AND PROSTITUTES IN THE HALLS OF GALILEE. AND WAS ANGERED BY THOSE WHO DID WHAT YOUR HATEMAILERS ARE DOING RIGHT NOW. ON A SIDE NOTE,THE SCRIPTURE YOU WERE SEEKING IS: BUT THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH;AND SHALL DELIGHT THEMSELVES IN THE ABUNDANCE OF PEACE.THE WICKED PLOT AGAINST THE JUST ,AND GNASH UPON HIM WITH THERE TEETH. THE LORD SHALL LAUGH AT HIM:FOR HE SEES THAT HIS DAY IS COMING. PSALM 37:11,12,13. I don't claim to be righteous, just knowledgable. I'm a faithful believer and a faithful sinna.WORD!
TOBETOOK


Hi Lizzy,
I'm kind of shook up by your website. Sorry. If you meant to shock me, you did. Are you bragging this up to your Dad? How about Grandma? Or am I the only one to get my nose rubbed in to your exploits? I'm concerned that you are using your real name. Not everyone is going to think this is funny or cute. Please reconsider what you are doing. I thought you had matured a little since you left home......
I hope that you girls will keep in touch no matter what. I love you and I miss you. It will be a lonely birthday (45) for me next Monday without my girls.
Mom
 Disclamer: This letter was editted for content so as not to include nformation about my mother's histerecdamy or financial problems.

Dear Mom,
I can't believe that you refuse to see the good in this. I did program this whole site in notepad in straight up html, and It hink there is something to be said for that. As for dad, if he saw it he would either completed ignore the fac tthat he had ever seen it at all or compliment my sheer html programming ability. My sister is not liking you very much right now so I think that if you want to have either one of us on your side you could at least try to be civil. I'm sorry if you have problems, but there is nothing I can do about that.
-The Slitch

P.S. If you don't think that ask the slitch is funny then your sense of humor must be as dead as my will to have further correspondance with you...




hey lizzy,
what an ingenious way of using your brains to design such a lovely and informative site! you must be so proud of yourself and rightfully so. gee, why people would not like this is a real question. i have a large sense of humor, a relatively lot of years of experience behind me, but this one is beyond me. especially the part about where you send it to your very own mother. what in the hell did she do to deserve this? yes, i'm sure like other mothers in this world she too has made many mistakes of which i'm sure she would admit to, but this is beyond me. why you would rub your poor mothers nose in something so distastful and gross. are you punishing her for leaving your father? are you punishing her for making a life of her own and then spending every waking minute of it wishing her girls were here with her? are you sick honey, do we need to take you to the doctor? because that's what you are going to be if you continue this kind of life. perhaps it's all just in writing, or perhaps you really are doing these things you say you are. just wait till you come home dear with something soap and water and clorox bleach won't get out. who will you go crying to then? mommy! when she first came here, all she ever talked about was getting her girls. that's what she lived for. and then when the two of you came, you were such a good girl and your sister gave her hell. then, the tides turned and both of you made her life a living hell on earth, but she kept on, hoping and wishing that something would turn ya'll around. obviously that has not happened yet. i just hope it does before it's too late. child, you are very ill. you need help. you need a lot of help. you need to call your momma and tell her how sorry you are that you have put her through total hell. you need to beg her to forgive you. i know deep down inside she still loves you and would never think badly of you, but this is beyond belief how a momma could retain her composure over. you truly need God in your life and before long, because satan has you by the hair and he will not let go.
i hope you get well in more ways than one. and i hope you ask your mom to forgive you.
shelley

Dear Shelley,
Do you have absolutely no sense of humor? Either way thank you for the content, I will be sure to make a hate mail link and yours will be the featured letter of the week. I especially liked the part about "satan having me by the hair" I think we here at ask the slitch could be laughing about that for weeks to come...
Keep them comming
Lizzy


this page just goes to show how immature you really are "SLITCH"? more like "DITCH" you're so smart you can figure that one out
DUMBY
you have no idea what it is to be a "WOMAN" who knows what she wants, let alone have a clue on how to get what you want - clearly you don't have what you want so you are using this page to get the attention you so desire....how sad is that? a REAL woman would not put herself out there like this and a real woman doesn't let a few beers get her too drunk to function and hop in bed w/just anyone so save the drama...you have a lot of growing up to do, your ignorant behavior will get you nowhere in life but in the hands of losers like the ones you've chosen to be around and you think they're so cool you have no respect for yourself, so i understand your lack of respect for your mother, but don't forget that your mother is who raised you to be the intelligent girl you are... too bad someone so smart is acting so dumb, i thought for sure you'd grow up to be a successful REAL WOMAN but so far you're still a kid wanting to be COOL, i hope you grow out of your loser phase and do something productive (yet still fun) with your life i'm sure you've heard the statement "god don't like ugly" you need to wake up and get a grip before you completely ruin your life youngen
byebye

Dearest Nicole,
Thank you from the depths of my black soul for your concern and more great humorous content for my disgusting website. You may like the music of The Cheezus of Nazareth as well. Please keep them comming your mail will be added to my newest link, Slitch Hate Mail. I will have it up by days end.
One more thing... Where does this god doesn't like ugly thing come from? That is not in the bible... Didn't god say that the ugly shall inherit the earth or some shit like that? I want to be the first Slitch president of that Earth.


Bakc to the ask the Slitch main page