My life is so confusing:
   This isn't done in MSWord or anything like that. So there will be errors in here, I just hope I get across clear enough *shrugS* It's simply for my pience of mind anyway.
   My family has let three of my young cousins come and live with us. Their mom isn't so stable, and we're giving her time to get there. Mind you, this is for the girls, and just until summer the time.
   Here's the dilemna! Since these three innocent kids have come into our home, my family has been arguing constantly. This isn't so normal. Sure families fight, and argue, and get upset. But this is just a bit more out of hand than the usual.
   This scares me. Literally, really scares me to death. This is my family. My home. This is my shelter, where I stay to be safe. But how can I feel safe when all I hear is yelling and all I feel is tension?
   I can barely eat now. I have a nervous esophagus, my throat shrinks when I get nervous or anything like that. All I feel is jittery now. If the girls aren't around, we're talking and arguing about it. While they're around we try so hard not to take all our frustrations out on them. We bottle them up and unleash them on each other.
   I keep thinking... it's only until June. It's only until June. But families get broken in a lot less time. Then I try and comfort myself. Just because a family is a little broken, doesn't mean it doesn't work anymore...
   God... this hurts.
   I just, I don't know what to do anymore. I can't stand my family being hurt like this, but these girls have nowhere else to go. Their mom lives in a one bedroom apartment, their uncles and aunt don't want their lives disrupted... no one else can take them!
   Is life destined to be a yo-yo? Where you're always caught between good and bad times. Good one day, bad the next. Good one day, bad the next? And if so, I wish whoever is playing the yo-yo of my life to pull up the friggin' thing so that I could have a few good moments for my family.    And so here we are... running in the same circle. Round and around again... and where it stops? *shrugs* Nobody knows.