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Pass the Conditioner

Lys ap Adin


Eh. Aways back when, I told Kurai that I'd write her a fic. Took me about three-four months, but here it is...

AU, Yaoi, LEMON!, PWPish... OOC, definitely...

Duo cursed roundly and kicked his duffel bag across the floor of the cheap motel room. "That mission fucking sucked," he spat.

His roommate, partner, and the object of several of Duo's steamiest fantasies ignored him, calmly dumping his own duffel on one of the double beds and withdrawing the ever-present laptop.

Duo made a face at the green-clad back. "Gee, thanks, Heero, I don't know how I would've managed without your help," he said sarcastically.

"It's your fault that you're injured. You take care of it."

"Never mind that I have a head injury and a wrist that's sprained," Duo retorted, rummaging one-handed for the first-aid kit in his duffel.

"If it were serious, you wouldn't be talking so damn much." The laptop beeped, signaling its ready status, and Heero dove into the mission report.

Duo gave into a childish urge and stuck his tongue out at Heero. Then he popped a couple of painkillers for his headache and got down to the business of wrapping his wrist with a bandage using one hand and his teeth. This done, and with the painkillers taking the edge off his headache, Duo wandered into the tiny bathroom to examine his head. He cursed again, seeing the amount of blood crusting his hair. "This is gonna be such a bitch to wash out," he groaned. He peered at his left temple carefully, and then sighed with relief. Just a small gash and a goose egg, nothing really bad or even requiring stitches. Duo nodded in satisfaction.

He ambled back to the other room, trying to figure out how the hell he'd be able to wash his hair one-handed. Duo's glance fell upon Heero. "Oi, Heero?"

"What now, Duo?"

"When you're done with the mission report and all... would you mind doing me a favor... please?" Duo asked, pouring all his charm and appeal into his voice.

"Will you leave me alone for the rest of the evening if I do?" Heero replied, still typing.

"Yeah, sure, if you want," Duo shrugged.

"I'll be done in a few minutes."

"Thanks, man, I appreciate it." Duo grinned widely in anticipation, moving back to his bed and pulling out the supplies he'd need.

What the hell does he want from me now? I wonder as I submit the report to Doctor J and shut down my laptop. Whatever it is, an evening of peace and quiet will be worth it.

I think, anyway. There's something insidious about Duo Maxwell and his chatter. It gets under my skin, past the walls I've erected to keep people out... Something about him calls out to me, and I don't know why.

I blame it on my hormones. Even Perfect Soldiers have to deal with those when they're only fifteen or so. It doesn't really help much that he's damned good looking in his own exuberant way.

I turn and look at him, and have to admire the sight. He's stripped down to his pants and undershirt and somehow manages to look very alluring, despite the blood on his face and in his hair.

"What is it?" I ask, when he doesn't volunteer any information immediately.

Is that nervousness in his eyes? "I want you to take a shower with me."

Wait a minute, did I hear that right?

Heero looked more than a little shocked. "What?!" he exclaimed.

Duo tumbled into an explanation, waving his bandaged wrist for emphasis. "Y'see, I need help washing my hair 'cause there's so much of it and I only have one good hand and while the protein's really nice for the hair, walking around with dry blood in my hair just isn't my thing, you know?" He paused for breath. "So... help me please?"

"You have to leave me alone for the rest of the evening," Heero said severely, face expressionless.

K'so, what am I saying? I can't do this. I will *not* be able to control myself!

Okay, Yuy, take a deep breath. You can handle this. It's just another mission... have an excuse to put your hands all over his body...

....I'll just take a cold shower after he's done.

Duo beamed at Heero. "Deal, man... Look, I appreciate it." *Even if I have to take another--cold--shower after Mr. Sexy Spandex gets done with my hair...*

Duo peeled off most of the rest of his clothes, tossing them aside and gathering up his shampoo, conditioner, comb, and the tube of petroleum-based ointment from his first-aid kit (a guy could dream about getting lucky, after all). "Race ya to the bathroom," he said with a wink, already dashing off, the tip of his braid flipping against his boxers.

A *very* cold shower. Maybe with ice from the machine down the hall.

Damn these hormones, anyway.

Following Duo's lead, I strip down to my underwear and head into the bathroom that's hardly large enough for one person, let alone two.

He's already got the water running, I guess so that it'll warm up.

I don't see why, I'm already hot enough.

Down, Yuy...

He reaches for the braid, pulling off the tie and setting it on the back of the commode with some other stuff. He starts finger combing the weave of the braid, working it loose.

Shit, he has a lot of hair. The ends of it are wavy, but it's straighter towards his scalp. Must be the weight. I grit my teeth, and reach out to stop his hand. This is *my* mission, after all. I should be the one doing that.

Right. Keep telling yourself that. You just can't wait to get your hands on him.

There is that, too.

Duo recoiled slightly as a calloused hand pulled his own hand away from his braid. *Damn, he's too quiet.* "Oi, you snuck up on me."

"Hn." Strong hands worked through his hair, carefully unraveling the braid. Duo had to close his eyes briefly, fighting off memories of the last time anyone other than himself had worked with his hair.

"That should be good enough," he told Heero, almost roughly, as Heero raked his fingers from scalp to the ends of the hair. "Hope you like hot showers."

"Whatever." Without looking back at Heero, Duo stepped into the shower, boxers and all. "It'll take a couple of minutes to get wet all the way through," he commented.


Hormones, I've decided, are evil, especially when they're being tantalized both with glimpses of wet, naked Duo, and the knowledge that within a few minutes, I'll be in the same mostly-enclosed space with that wet, naked (mostly, anyway) Duo.

What's worse is trying to decide if this is a bad thing... or a good thing.

"Jump on in, Heero, the water's fine..." his voice rises above the noise of the spray.

Well... here I go. Now, just gotta stay in control.

I step into the shower behind him, pelted by the almost too-hot spray.

Oh, fuck me... please. He's got his back to me, water-darkened hair clinging to pale, slick flesh. and his boxers are doing the same to the curves of his buttocks, leaving very little to the imagination.

I open and close my mouth a few times, trying to find my voice. Finally, I grunt, "How much shampoo?"

Duo shrugged slightly. "About a palmful or so. Start at the top and work your way down." *Don't think about what Heero probably looks like mostly naked with water running down that skin of his... Hair falling into his eyes... Damn it! Don't think about him!*

The pattern of the spray changed as Heero moved to retrieve the bottle of shampoo. The scent of the fruit shampoo filled the steamy stall. "Strawberries?" Heero asked quizzically.

"On sale. You learn to look for bargains when you have this much hair."

"Aa." Duo felt hands tentatively reach for the crown of his head, fingers slowly massaging the shampoo into the masses of hair.

Duo hissed quietly at the first contact Heero made with his wound. "Shit, that hurts."

"You should be more careful on missions."

"Like you?" Duo had to retort.

Heero didn't respond.

I'm a soldier. Been trained all my life to give my all to the mission. So why does it almost... hurt... when Duo acts the same way?

Almost without realizing it, I growl in frustration. K'so. I shouldn't be thinking this way. I'm *not* supposed to leave myself this open.

"Something wrong, Heero?"

Yes. Everything about me. "Iie."

Concentrate on the mission... work shampoo into the hair. Be careful around the contusion. Lather. Damn, he has a *lot* of hair. I'll never complain about how long he spends in the shower again. He obviously needs it.

I'm working the lather through his hair... my fingers keep brushing the skin of his back. Damn, I've got to think about something else besides him and his body.

"Why do you have so much hair?"

Smooth, Yuy, real smooth...

He stiffens in front of me, body going rigid for some reason. Something tells me I've just hit a nerve... a very sensitive nerve.

"I'd really rather not discuss it, Heero," he tells me, voice even.

*I should have known he'd ask sooner or later... Aw, hell, how should I have known? The guy barely ever says two words at the same time!* Duo stared at the wall of the bathtub for a long moment, fighting off the memories.

"Gomen, Duo."

Duo's eyes widened. *He apologized?!* "It's okay, man." *Shit, I never thought I'd see the day...*

It felt good to have someone else wash his hair... very relaxing.

And much too damn intimate, he decided, as Heero worked his way down his back, shampoo slicked fingers casually brushing against his skin every so often. *I'm just surprised he's being so easy on me...*

Reaching the end of Duo's hair, I discover a minor problem with this idea of me shampooing Duo's hair.

How the hell am I supposed to rinse it clean? Let's face it, bathtubs are really only meant for one person, and even with me standing directly under the shower head, there isn't enough space to maneuver the shower head to hit Duo's hair...

K'so. I've got to stop thinking sexy thoughts, that's for sure...

Anou... Relena... wonder what Duo would look like with her hairstyle...

And my ever-so-helpful hormones immediately supply the mental image of Duo... although I doubt Relena Peacecraft would ever pose in the nude.

I am definitely my own worst enemy, I think... and this is going to go down as a mission failure...

"Anou... Duo..."

"What is it?"

" are we going to rinse your hair?"

Duo gulped, realizing the flaw in his plan to get his hair clean just a little too late... *Shitshitshit.* "I hadn't thought that far ahead." *Gotta play it cool this time...*


I'm not sure if I'm calling myself or Duo the idiot, though.

Think, Yuy, think.

There's a possibility. "If I get out, then I can help you rinse it off." And pray that you keep your eyes closed, I add silently, thinking of just how confined I'm feeling in the briefs.

"No!..." *No, that wasn't panicked or anything.* "Um.. I mean... You'd get sick or something standing there in nothing but wet underwear."

Duo had to admit it was a lame excuse, but his boxers were feeling much too tight to let him think very coherently. And the fact that Heero was still idly combing his fingers through Duo's soapy hair, combined with the image of Heero standing there with water sliding down his mostly naked body was *not* helping.

"Well, what else are we going to do?" Heero asked, sounding impatient.

"I don't know..." Duo said miserably. "Maybe if you backed all the way up, I'd have enough room to--"

"No, that won't work."

"Then what are we supposed to do, damn it?" Duo demanded, suddenly irritated by the entire farce. "Damn it, I only wanted to get my hair clean." *And get a chance to ogle you, but who's counting?*

I accepted this as a mission, I remind myself. It wouldn't do to fail in a mission. Besides, you know you can't stand it when he sounds that defeated.

Maybe it's too convenient, but I'm tired of this game, anyway. To hell with my dignity, I'll just tell Duo I'll kill him if he ever says a word.

As if that's really a threat, coming from me.

"Fine, we'll do it your way," we say simultaneously.

Duo laughed wryly. "Jinx, Heero."

They stood there awkwardly for a few minutes, the steam rising around them.

"So, how are we going to do this?" Duo asked finally.

He thought he heard Heero suck in a deep breath behind him. "Your way." And then strong arms were guiding him backwards, into the spray, colliding along the way with a wet chest and a very specific hardness.

"What the fuck?!" Duo's mouth dropped open. It couldn't be... Then shampoo, carried by the spray, washed down his face. "Ow! Shit!" He stepped forward, frantically trying to get the stuff out of his stinging eyes.

Initial reaction: expected.

Secondary reaction: What the hell's wrong with him?

"Nani, Duo?"

He turns, rubbing at his eyes and muttering a litany of curses.

And not incidentally, showing off the planes of his chest and the bulge of his own erection.


Duo blinks at me, suds trailing down his face and body. "Huh? Oh, just got soap in my eyes. Shit, that stuff hurts..." And then, he finally seems to remember his initial reaction and turns red so fast that I'm amazed he's not falling over from the blood rush.

And we stare at each other, too embarrassed to say anything just yet.

*Well, now I now why he didn't like my idea,* Duo thought, pushing the hair out of his eyes impatiently and watching as a rivulet of soap slid down Heero's chest. "Well, shit," he said finally. "Guess I should've asked you to wash my hair sooner."

"Aa." Heero was trying to look anywhere but at Duo. "So, now what do we do?"

The answer popped out before Duo could stop it. "You can let me screw you senseless."

As I look up sharply, he slaps a hand over his mouth and starts mumbling abject apologies and rebukes against his own big mouth.

I open my own mouth, and out tumbles a single whispered word. "Okay."

Heh. For once even he's stunned speechless. But apparently not motionless... he crosses the small space between us, impatiently flicking the water off his face and kissing me.

The discomfort of being pressed against the faucet fades beneath the hungry assault of his mouth on mine. He braces his injured arm against the wall by my head and tangles his other hand in the hair at the base of my neck, holding me immobile while he thoroughly plunders my mouth, his tongue flickering against mine, tasting my lips. He breaks the kiss, takes a deep breath , and takes my lower lip between his teeth, nipping and licking at it.

I slide my own hands down his back, resting them at his waist and pulling him closer to me... chest to chest...

Both boys groaned as their hips ground together. "Damn, and I thought all I was gonna get tonight was a cold shower," Duo commented breathlessly.

"Hn." Heero glared at Duo. "Don't you have other things you can be doing with your mouth besides talking?"

"Pushy, pushy... Of course I have other things to do... Want me to show you a few?"

Heero shot him a look that said, "You have to *ask*?"

Duo grinned, removing his hand from Heero's head and trailing it down the side of his face, dropping and reaching for one of Heero's hands. Their fingers tangled together briefly as Duo lifted Heero's hand to his mouth.

Hot lips grazing over my knuckles... teeth biting the pads of my fingers... Duo's tongue swirling over my palm and wrist. He sucks slowly on each finger... Damn, how can something so simple feel so good?

He drops my hand, reaches for the other, and repeats the process, a little more awkwardly since he's using his sprained wrist this time.

It's almost too much to believe that it's all real. Shit, how does he do this to me? I wasn't ever supposed to be able to feel this way.

He glides his mouth up my inner arm, teeth grazing the flesh lightly and causing my skin to tingle. What's he up to now?


The bastard *bit* me.

Duo smiled into Heero's shoulder, swirling his tongue over the newly-sensitive skin as Heero uttered a wordless cry of shock. Duo licked contritely at the faint races of copper and iron that he had evoked and smiled again as Heero groaned.

Strange, how good this feels, despite the slight throbbing pain in my shoulder that lingers as his mouth and those teeth scrape over my collar bone. He pauses at my throat, nuzzling briefly, and then moves lower on my body.

"Duo!" The cry was harsh, strained, and almost pleading as Duo's mouth closed over one nipple. Heero's hands tangled in Duo's masses of semi-soapy hair, as if he would keep his lover's head in place forever. Duo stoked Heero's other nipple in time to the movements of his tongue, more than a little delighted by Heero's responsiveness.

Lost in the haze of pleasure, I *should* have expected what comes next, considering how he's been behaving for the past few minutes. But I don't, and the sudden sensation of his teeth--again--paired with a light pinch makes me cry out.

Apparently, Duo has slightly cannibalistic tendencies.

*He wasn't expecting that,* Duo thought smugly, resuming more gentle ministrations. He trailed his hand down Heero's chest, coming to rest at the waistband of Heero's briefs. "Time these came off, ne, Heero?"

"...hai..." Heero felt the wet cloth being tugged off his body, and willingly kicked the soggy briefs aside.


No one ever told me it could be so good... God...

He laughs, deep in his throat, and the vibration of his mouth around my erection makes me moan.

I can feel myself losing all my sense of control... over myself and my reactions. I'm no longer in charge here.

Not that I care...

Duo busily worked his tongue over Heero's head, listening to his partner's almost involuntary vocalizations. *Damn, he makes some sexy noises. We've got to do this more often.*

He pulled away. "Enough playtime, Heero."

"Nani?" Heero looked faintly confused as Duo stood, fumbling outside the shower for something.

Now what? He grabs the tube lying on the back of the commode, then shucks off those boxers. His expression, all anticipation and purpose, says he's ready to get serious.

So am I .. whatever that means.

*How are we going to do this? Damn hotels never give ya enough room.* Duo looked Heero straight in the eye. "Heero, do you trust me?"

There was a brief pause. Then Heero nodded. "Hai."

"Okay, then, this is what I need you to do." Duo quickly outlined the position, and they spent a few awkward moments rearranging themselves.

This is a cheap hotel... I can see the chips and stains in the cheap fiberglass a few inches from my nose. Hot water is pelting my back, until... something blocks it. Duo.

There's something nudging at my body, demanding entrance through the tight ring of muscles of my anus.

Gotta stay relaxed... Why am I so nervous?

He reaches around and strokes me. Distracting me. I feel his finger slide into me, stretching those muscles.

It hurts.. it feels good.

Duo waited, allowing Heero the time to get used to one finger, then added a second finger, all the while keeping a steady rhythm of strokes on Heero's erection (no easy feat to accomplish with a sprained wrist). The distraction seemed to help Heero a lot. A third finger, and he started probing Heero's inner walls, searching for the spot that would --

"K'so!" I throw my head back, cursing.

What is he doing to me?!

He touches me *there*, again, and I shake. it's too good, more than I can handle.

He touches me again... then his fingers are gone.

Satisfied that Heero was more than ready, Duo rubbed the makeshift lubricant over his own neglected erection and then positioned himself against Heero. He pushed into Heero, slowly, hissing at the tightness and heat of being surrounded by Heero's body. Heero grunted, body going rigid with sudden tension.

Settling himself, Duo reached around Heero's body again, stroking Heero as he waited for his lover to relax and accept the foreign sensation.

Pain. Pleasure. Both... good. And the pain is fading, slowly.

I want.. more. Of Duo. Of the goodness.

"Shit!" Duo hadn't expected Heero to rock back, driving Duo deeper into his body. *Guess he's ready...* "Easy, Heero, just let me do the work."

"Hn. So do the work."

"If you say so." Duo withdrew, then slowly thrust into Heero again, stroking Heero's erection in a counterpoint.

Heero groaned. "More."

Duo angled his next thrust, making sure that he hit Heero's sweet spot.

No more pain now. Just mindless pleasure, drawn out unbearably thin...

Something is building in me as he moves behind me, carefully, avoiding inflicting damage. And the tidal wave continues to build.

Duo increased his pace, wanting to make sure Heero came before he did. They were both panting, the harsh sounds of their cries of pleasure mingling with the murmur of the shower's spray.

Heero's muscles clenched tight around Duo as his body jerked and spasmed. "Duo!"

Duo threw his head back, finally allowing his own climax to overtake him. "Nnn, Heero..."

They recovered languorously from their exertions, Duo disentangling himself from Heero and rocking back on his haunches to grin at the other boy when Heero maneuvered to face him. "Now *this* is the way to take a shower."


Duo leered at Heero. "And just think, you still need to rinse and condition my hair."

Heero's mouth quirked up slightly. "Oh, yeah..."

Duo's expression turned serious. "Demo... after this... you know I won't be able to leave you alone for the rest of the night."

Heero finally did allow himself a small smile. "Fine by me... so let's stop wasting time, ne?"

Duo impulsively leaned forward and kissed him. "Pass the conditioner."


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