Kiss the Rain
Elf
Pacing around the living room, Duo realized he was slowly going insane without Trowa. He had been attracted to his friend’s profession – the circus always did appeal to him – and they eventually became roommates. Duo, at first, had always considered Trowa a fair-weather friend, but grew to be a good one after they moved in together. They had their separate rooms and lives, but Duo slowly fell in love with him. He had never confessed his feelings for his friend, and now that Trowa had gone to another colony to study business at a university….
“I can’t do it,” he muttered. “I’ve – I’ve gotta see him…at least talk to him or I’ll lose it altogether, I just know it.”
The vidphone. Perfect. Wait, no, that’s right…he accidentally broke it when he was upset after Trowa had left…. Staring at the foreign-looking object shrouded by a thick layer of dust, he knew Trowa had an old-fashion telephone in his dorm.
Picking it up, he quickly dialed the number Trowa had left him if he needed anything. //I do need something, Trowa,// Duo thought, //I need you.//
[Hello]
He heard the line ring and then it pick up, a soft tenor voice answering, “Hello?” His heart raced – that was definitely Trowa. “Uh, Trowa? This is me, Duo.”
[Can you hear me?]
“Oh, hi. Is anything wrong?” he heard him ask; a little surprised that he had called.
“What? Oh, um…nothing’s wrong,” Duo replied, fidgeting with the phone cord, wrapping it around his finger and cutting off circulation. //Except I need you…badly.//
[Am I gettin' through to you?]
“Oh…is there a reason why you called, then?”
[Hello]
Duo felt mildly put off, but he realized that Trowa had only meant him to call him if something was wrong. “Uh…just…wondering how you were, I guess.”
“…I’m fine.”
“So…what are you doing?” Duo asked, clumsily, not sure just what to say.
“…Studying.”
[Is it late there?]
“Oh…isn’t it late there?” he asked, looking at the clock and inadvertently wondering if Trowa was getting enough sleep.
“…Yeah….”
Duo bit his lip, unsure of what to say. He desperately wanted to talk to him, but it was so hard. //Me, of all people, having a hard time talking to someone…//
[There's a laughter on the line]
Thinking that he heard someone in the background he asked, “Do you have company over?”
“…No….”
“Oh…” Duo muttered, at a loss of words. He didn’t know what he wanted to say or how to say it, but he did know that he wanted to say something.
[Are you sure you're there alone?]
//I’m just paranoid that he has a lover over or something, I guess,// he thought to himself. “So, uh, how’s life there?”
“Fine. Why?”
[Cause I'm tryin' to explain]
“Well, uh, I just wanted to know…wanted to know, uh, just…how it is and how you’re doing,” he stammered, wondering if he should have called at all.
“Oh…is there a particular reason you want to know how I’m doing?” Trowa asked softly.
//He’s…being impersonal and cold to me…just like when we first knew each other. It’s not right that he’s acting that way to me now,// Duo thought, a dozen different reasons running through his mind. “Well, I’m your friend and former roommate. Don’t I deserve to know how you’re doing?”
“Uh, well…yeah…I suppose.”
[Somethin's wrong]
“Are you okay?” Duo asked, a little concerned – wanting so much to be there with him.
[Ya just don't sound the same]
“…Yeah….”
“So, um, how are you adjusting?” he asked, wondering if he had any friends yet…or a boyfriend since he knew that’s what Trowa’s preference was.
“Just fine.”
//Of course. Trowa adjusts everywhere,// Duo thought, thinking back to the war. “I thought you would.”
“Yeah…the only thing, though, is my current roommate….”
Duo’s heart nearly stopped in anticipation. “Y-yeah??”
“…He’s too quiet.”
Breathing out a sigh of relief, he started laughing.
“…Well he is. Right now he’s at the library.”
[Why don't you, why don't you
Go outside, go outside]
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Trowa said abruptly.
“…What?”
“Chris, my roommate, does and he’s constantly over. It really bugs me.”
“Oh…I’m sorry. Your animal magnetism failing you?” Duo smirked, relieved at the news.
Trowa chuckled and admitted, “I haven’t really tried….”
Looking outside briefly, Duo muttered, “…It’s raining….”
“There, too?”
[Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me]
“Cats and dogs. You mean it is over where you are?” Duo asked in surprise.
“…Yeah. Not too hard, though. It’s kind of comforting, actually.”
[Kiss the rain
Whenever I'm gone, too long.]
“Comforting? Why?” he asked. “You used to hate the rain.”
“…I did, but it reminds me of back there. It doesn’t rain too much here, unlike there.”
[If your lips
Feel lonely and thirsty]
“Ah, homesick?” Duo smirked.
“…Sort of.”
[Kiss the rain
And wait for the dawn.]
That wasn’t the response he had expected. “I bet you miss Catherine’s superior soup, right?”
“No,” Trowa responded quickly.
Duo laughed and said, “I don’t think I would, either.”
Trowa chuckled softly and said, “I guess I just miss how things were there.
[Keep in mind
We're under the same skies]
“Lonely?”
“Yeah.”
[And the nights
As empty for me, as for you]
“Ah, well, you can always call if you’re a little lonely. I promise I won’t tell Catherine you did so,” Duo smiled.
[If ya feel
You can't wait till mornin']
“Yeah…I was actually thinking of calling you, but I wasn’t sure if you would make me talk to her or what….”
[Kiss the rain]
“Nope. Then if she didn’t get to talk to you, she’d bug me about what you said,” Duo explained, winking with no one to see.
[Kiss the rain]
“So…how are you?” he asked.
“What? Oh, I’m fine,” Duo answered.
[Kiss the rain]
“How’s everything?”
“Oh…okay,” he shrugged, again, with no one to see. //If you would just come back…please.//
[Hello]
“Uh, hey…” Duo added softly. //I’m going to tell him, I’m going to tell him…//
[Do you miss me?]
“…Uh…you miss me, right?” he asked nervously. //Maybe not…//
“…Yeah.”
[I hear you say you do
But not the way I'm missin' you]
“Oh, um…that’s good,” he muttered. //You miss my company, I know. You don’t actually miss me, though. Not like I do you. It’s painful everyday I can’t see you…but why can’t I just tell you?//
[What's new?
How's the weather?
Is it stormy where you are?]
“So, uh, it’s raining there, too?” Duo confirmed, looking outside at the rain pouring against the window.
“…Still, yes.”
[Cause I'm so close but it feels like you're so far]
//I feel closer to you, I guess, but we’re so far away,// Duo thought ruefully as he asked, “So how’s the schooling going?”
“It’s going very well,” Trowa answered. “I’m at the top of my class so far.”
“Of course,” Duo said as he closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the rain. //Why can’t I say what’s in my heart???//
[Oh would it mean anything
If you knew what I'm left imagining]
//I love you, I love you, I love you!!!// his mind screamed as he was forced to say calmly, “You’re always so good in everything you do.”
[In my mind, in my mind]
//Always…so good…at everything…everything. I can’t stand it! I love you; I need you! I can’t keep this pent up any longer!//
“Not always,” Trowa said, “but the schooling’s kind of easy, so…. But how about you? Are you still selling hotdogs or did you move on to something else?”
“Yeah,” Duo replied with other things on his mind, “still.”
[Would you go, would you go
Kiss the rain]
//If you only knew how I felt about you, Trowa. How I can love you…how I can make you feel.//
[And you'd fall over me]
“Hm, well…you know, it’s really lonely since you’re not my roommate anymore.”
[Think of me, think of me, think of me, only me]
“Really? It is? Wow,” Duo smiled, coiling the cord around his finger.
[Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me]
“Yeah. I guess your voice just lets me know that someone’s there. With Chris I don’t know if he’s here or not sometimes.”
[Kiss the rain
Whenever I'm gone too long]
“Poor guy just can’t compare to a wonder like me, ne?” Duo laughed.
[If your lips
Feel hungry and tempted]
“No…he can’t. Even when he does have people over and they talk and I know they’re there…it’s just not the same.”
“…Because it’s not me?” Duo asked, hoping…
“…Right….”
[Kiss the rain and wait for the dawn]
Duo smiled and felt the blood course through him. Looking at the clock, though, his spirits dimmed. “…It’s past midnight.”
“…Yeah…I have an early class tomorrow….”
[Keep in mind
We're under the same skies]
“Hey…can I call you uh, um…later…or something?” Duo stammered, desperately wanting all contact with Trowa. //I need to talk to you…I need to tell you how I feel. I just can’t live without you knowing how much I love you.//
[And the nights
As empty for me, as for you]
“…Of course…next time it rains over there.”
“Yeah, and you call if it rains over there.”
[If you feel
You can't wait till mornin']
“Right. Hey…Duo…?” he began.
[Kiss the rain]
“Yeah?” Duo asked.
[Kiss the rain]
“…Ai sh [1]…” he trailed off.
“…What?”
[Kiss the rain]
“…Ai sh…um, I should go. It’s…uh….”
“…Getting late?” Duo finished.
“Yeah.”
“Well, I’ll let you go for now. Talk to you later.”
“…Talk to you later…bye,” Trowa said softly.
Putting the phone back, all the pent up expression Duo had just burst. “I love you, Trowa,” he said, feeling exhausted that he had never said it to him. //Next time…next time, I swear.//
“…I love you, too.”
Duo’s eyes widened as he looked down and realized he hadn’t put the phone away on the receiver correctly. Hanging up quickly, he muttered, “…Oops.”
//But…he…he told me he loved me…he told me he loved me,// he thought as he said aloud, “…He told me he loved me!”
[Kiss the rain Kiss the rain Kiss the rain Kiss the rain]
Feeling all giddy, he collapsed on the couch and started laughing hysterically, grabbing the TV remote and turning it on in the process. Flipping it to the weather station, he laughed even more as forecasters told of an upcoming weeklong rainstorm.
Calming down, he turned the TV off and lay back, staring at the ceiling. He closed his eyes and whispered out, “…Trowa….”
[Hello Can ya hear me? Can ya hear me? Can ya hear me?]
“…I love you.”
~Owari~
It’s…it’s…it’s not ANGST! Things actually go right and it has a happy ending! Whoo hoo!
[1] If you didn’t catch that, Trowa was trying to say “Ai shiteru.” He ended up disguising it as “I should,” though.
All right...I'm sorry, but I didn't know what else to do!!!!!!
...We'll exchange smacks, how about that....
-Elf
