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Physical Presence (part 1)

Joyce W.


part 1

Heero snatched Duo's cap off his head, put it on his own, and smiled. Then he ran along the beach, occasionally looking over his shoulder, waiting for Duo to come running after him. It was a day of soothing breezes and skies that were as clear and breathtaking as Heero's eyes.

Duo looked at him, thinking, This is the Heero that's never known war, the Heero who's never piloted a Gundam, the Heero that I've fallen in love with.



6 months prior


Duo walked into the hospital room, holding a bouquet of flowers only to see Quatre's flower arrangements completely fill the room. Leave it to Quatre to overdo things, thought Duo ruefully. He walked up to the bed and saw Heero with his head bandaged. Heero opened his eyes and sat up. "Heh, it's just like you to survive a head-on collision with a Mac truck," said Duo cheerfully. He doesn't look too banged up, he thought. But then you're talking about the guy who survived a thirty story fall.

"Who are you?"

Duo blinked, then ended up dropping his bouquet. "You're kidding, right?" Heero looked at him confused. "No. I just remember being in the hospital.

I don't even know who I am."

"You're Heero Yuy. I'm Duo Maxwell."

"Are you the one who bought all those flowers?"

"No, it's Quatre, a friend of ours. You really don't remember anything?"

"I don't. Are you a friend of mine?"

Duo lowered his head. "Yeah, I . . . guess you could say that."


The doctors have done all the tests they can on him, Duo thought as he made dinner for Heero the night he got out of the hospital. There's nothing to explain the amnesia. All they could suggest was that maybe living the life he had before could cause him to remember.

"Yo, Heero, dinner!"

"What's for dinner?"

"Your favorite. I've made rice, tempura and oden," said Duo as he placed the dishes on the circular tray that could spin around. "What, you don't like them?"

Heero looked up in surprise. "I just don't remember them, but I'm sure I'll like it."

Dinner that night was fairly quiet. He seems to like it, he thought, watching Heero going back for another helping. Well, it's not like his taste buds have changed.

"It's good," said Heero, whose lips quirked in a little smile.

"It's nothing," he said. Then a thought occurred to him. "Ah, I know something that should help you remember. I've got some photo albums. Why don't you look through it while I clean up?"

"Need any help?"

"Tomorrow will be fine," said Duo as he pulled out two albums from inside a drawer and handed it to him.

Duo watched Heero while he was putting everything away in the refrigerator, and washing the dishes. He' so quiet. I guess it's because he doesn't know what to say. It's different sort of quiet, though, he thought. It’s not like he’s trying to block me out.

After Heero had flipped through the albums, he opened one up and said, "Duo?"

"Yeah," he said as he sat down next to Heero.

"This guy who looks constipated. Who is he?"

"Oh, that's Wufei Chang. He's a friend of ours. Right now, he's dating this woman right there," Duo said, pointing to another picture. "That's Sally Po. She's our supervisor at Preventers' headquarters."

"And the blonde?"

"That's Quatre Winner, the guy who sent you all those flowers. He's seeing Trowa Barton. It's a long distance relationship since Trowa works with us while Quatre takes care of business on L4," Duo said, pointing to a picture of Trowa. "Both of them are friends of ours."

"And who's the girl with the teddy bear," said Heero. He was pointing to a large photo of Relena holding the teddy bear with a little red cap on his head. "Merry Christmas to you and hopefully, this year will bring you as much joy as this bear has me," Heero said, reading the inscription. He raised an eyebrow.

"That's Relena Darlian, Foreign Minister of the World Government."

Heero looked surprised. "I know some pretty important people," he remarked.

"Well, you're a very important person." To me, anyway, thought Duo.



"I've looked at all the pictures of myself. I don't see any of pictures that have me smiling."

"Really?" Duo quickly flipped through the albums, then said, "Heh, you're right. I guess you hated having your picture taken."

"I also noticed that in a lot of these pictures, you have your arms around my neck or shoulder. What are we to each other?"

"Well, we're a couple."

Heero closed his eyes. "I see."

"I wanted to tell you earlier, but I didn't know how you'd react. After all, you don't remember any of it, so . . ."

"Why don't you tell me about it? Everything you know about me?"

"Hmm, that's a tall order. There's quite a bit that you never told me about yourself. I don't know whether it was because you didn't want to tell me or you simply didn't know."

"Go on."

"The first time we met, it was by the sea. I had just come to Earth a little while ago . . . " With that, he began telling him about their encounter at the dock, then the rescue from the military hospital. His reaction at Heero's act of self-destruction, then their times at school, their first time together, and all the things that had happened during the war and the subsequent battle. Duo then said, "Then we ended up here, working for the Preventers."

Heero put his hand on top of Duo's knee. "I wish I could remember."

"Maybe it's better this way."


"A lot of the memories that you have . . . I wouldn't want to remember."

"It sounds like I had a very hard life."

"Yeah, but you don't have to worry about it anymore. You look kinda tired. Want to go to sleep?"


Duo walked down the hall and showed him inside their bedroom. Inside the room was a couple of drawers and a king-sized bed.

“Big bed,” noted Heero.

“Well, I’ll be sleeping in the guest room.” Duo turned to leave the room but was restrained by a firm hold on his wrist.


“But . . .”

“Even if I don’t remember, I shouldn’t push you out of your own bed. Even though we’re not going to do anything, I feel more comfortable if we slept in the same bed.”

Duo looked at the serious expression on Heero’s face. “All right.”


"Hi, everyone, Heero's back." Duo announced.

"I'm glad that you're OK," said Sally. "The doctors told us everything, so you'll be given administrative leave for the time being."

Wufei waved, looking a bit uncertain. "Heero, glad to have you back."

Trowa put his hand up in greeing, "Heero."

Heero gave them a limp excuse of a smile. "Trowa, Wufei."

"We're going to give you some tests, then we'll have Duo train you."



Duo and Sally looked at the results of Heero's tests. "It's strange," remarked Sally. "Even though Heero doesn't remember his past, his skills are all intact. His target shooting is as great as ever. His computer and math skills are still as good. And physically, he's in fine shape."

"That's not it. Even when I let him loose on the training simulations, his instincts kicked in. He did pretty damn good."

"Still," mused Sally. "I'm not sure I want him to do any missions right now."

"Yeah," said Duo. "Could he simply do computer work for a couple months? It's not like there's some major fires that have to be put out right now."

"I don't see why not. Right now, he could concentrate on any hacking attacks on the government computer systems."

"I'm glad he can keep his job," sighed Duo, relieved.

"It must be hard for you."

Duo lifted his head and looked at the compassion on Sally's face. "I'll be fine. I'm just glad he's alive, that baka."

"I wouldn't know what to do if Wufei suddenly woke up and forgot who I was."

"Oh, I don't know. Just think he'd forget to yell, 'Onna,' 'Kisama,' and 'Justice.' Then he'd would forget how to scowl."

"But then he wouldn't be Wufei."

“This morning I woke up before Heero,” said Duo. “He’s usually the one who gets up before me and gets things going, but this time it was me. I opened my eyes and looked at his face. It’s the same face. He still has the same smell, but things have really changed. Even though he’s kinda lost right now, he doesn’t mind asking for help.”

“Duo, what did you tell Heero about his past?”

“I told him the truth.”

“All of it?”

Duo looked away. “I told him enough. I didn’t whitewash anything. But I didn’t tell him anything that doesn’t really matter any more. There’s no use inflicting a guilt trip on someone who can't remember what he did.”

“But he can’t remember the good times together.”

“That’s true, but what am I going to do? I don’t think another blow to the head’s going to bring his memory back, so what can I do except be there for him. And if the memories come back, then I’ll deal with it.”

“You’ve chosen a hard road.”

Duo shook his head, smiling ruefully. “No, the only road.”


“You really can’t remember anything?” said Wufei at the lunch table where the rest of the pilots were sitting..

Heero shook his head.

“Hm,” said Wufei.

“What was I like before the accident?”

Wufei frowned, then said, “Really serious and quiet.”


“That’s good. I hate frivolous people. You always got the job done and took care of things.”

“I see.” Then he said, “You bought all those flowers at the hospital. I should thank you.”

“You’re a good friend,” said Quatre quietly. “We could do no less.”

“Duo’s taking a long time talking with Sally about the results. I wonder how I did.”

“I’m sure you did well,” said Trowa.


Heero turned and smiled at Duo. “You took quite a while. I was wondering when you were coming.”

Trowa raised an eyebrow. Quatre looked surprised then smiled. Even Wufei widened his eyes.

"You scored just as high as you did before. It's weird. Looks like all your reflexes stayed intact."

"I'm glad. I . . ."

Suddenly, the laptop beeped. Heero took it from his briefcase and popped it open. "Hello?"

"Oh, Heero," said Relena. From the image on the screen, she was on official business. Her hair was tied back and she was wearing her white business suit. "I heard about your accident. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine."

"Is there anything you need? Any treatment or medicine? I didn't hear about it until just now. My assistants have been conspiring to keep my mind only on my work!" Relena looked terribly cross at that.

"No, I'm fine."

"Is it true you don't remember . . ."


"I shall do everything in my power to make you remember." She had a very determined look on her face while saying this. "I hope Duo is taking good care of you."

"He is taking very good care of me."

Relena sighed. "I wish I could just stop by and visit you, but there is so many places to go and papers to sign. I will get my scheduler to make room for a visit next month."

"That's really not necessary," said Duo, popping his head in.

"Hello, Duo."

"Hello, ojosan. If that mound of paper gets any bigger, you'll get a citation from the fire department."

"Well, I'll be calling up from time to time to check on him. If you slack off, I'll snatch him from you," teased Relena.

"Not likely," said Duo.

"Good bye."

"Ja mata."

Heero closed his computer. "Hmm."

"She's a bit overwhelming, huh?"

"Ah. She seems to really worry about me."

"Well, not so long ago, there was quite a bit to worry about. What with you falling on your head a million times and using the self-destruct button every time you could."

Heero frowned. "I can't believe I was like that. No matter how many times you tell me . . . "

Duo put his arm around him. "Well, at least you're not like that anymore." He's not protesting about my putting his arm around him in public, he thought. It's bad but I kinda like him like this. Suddenly, he felt very protective of him.

"It's strange not remembering anything. It's like one day I just fell out of the sky."

"Well, you kinda did."

“Oh, that’s right.” Then he laughed.

Everybody just stared at him. Heero stopped and looked puzzled. “Well, I thought it was funny.”


I didn't laugh much, did I? Everyone was so surprised."

"Well, not before anyway. The most you'd ever crack was a smile. It's like you wanted to laugh but you had forgotten how. I always wanted you to smile more, you look really amazing when you smile. But I like your laugh even more."

Heero smiled at him. "I wonder how you put up with me."

Duo's smile faltered for a second.

"Something wrong?"

"Just thinking of something. It's nothing."

"I was hard to live with, huh?"

Duo blinked, then turned to him and said, "What?"

"It's a given, isn't it?" said Heero quietly.

"Heero . . ."

Heero reached out for his hand and gave it good squeeze before letting go.

"I'm sorry."

Duo closed and shook his head. "You're apologizing when you don't even know what's happened. How about we just start from ground zero, no grudges, no regret? What do you say?"



“I suppose you’re all wondering why I’ve called this meeting,” said Lady Une, sitting at the head of the table. Seated before her were Trowa, Heero, Duo, Sally and Wufei. “There has been indication that a new weapon has been developed by a terrorist group called the Council of Righteousness.”

The lights went down and a schematic of a cylindrical object flashed behind her. “This is the diagram of the weapon. It’s an anti-personnel satellite. It can deliver a fatal blast from fives miles out and can take out an entire house. The size of this satellite is approximately 4m by 4m by 6m.”

“Where was this information gathered?” said Trowa.

“An old friend of yours, Ralph Kurt, has been working undercover as a member of the Council of Righteousness for the past five months,” said Une. “

“I see,” said Trowa with a little smile.

“Why don’t we simply look for it?”

“There’s the fact that it’s relatively small. Also there’s a terrible amount of space junk out there, manmade and natural,” she stated. “An artificial asteroid, full of the right materials, could easily keep the satellite contained inside shielded. Trowa and Heero, your assignment will be to search for the companies that supplied these parts and see exactly how many people were complicit in this. Duo will go to Earth and back Ralph up planetside.”

“Shouldn’t I go with him?” said Heero.

“No, your skills are better suited for the work I’ve assigned,” said Une. “More details have already been sent by e-mail. Dismissed.” With that she stood up and the lights went back on.


Heero watched as Duo packed up his suitcase. "You're going to Earth, huh?"

"Yup, I'm working with Ralph to find that satellite."

"I wish I was going with you."

"Nah, you're better off using those hacking skills of yours to trace the parts used to make it. It should only take a month."

"Yeah, I know. I'll miss you." Then Heero frowned. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"I'm staring?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You never use to say those types of things to me, that's all."

"What did I say, then?"

Duo smiled. "Omae o korosu."

Heero said, "I can't believe that used to be my favorite phrase."


“Hello, Duo,” said Ralph, who was sitting at a table in the smoky bar in Los Angeles. .

What a place to meet to get information, thought Duo. As he sat down and looked at Ralph, he thought, Damn, he looks just like Heero but a bit older. He makes me homesick. “Hi.”

“I heard about Heero. I’m sorry.”

“Well, what can you do? I’m just glad the baka’s alive.”

“Yes, but how are things between you and . . .”

“Well . . . right now it’s not the way it used to be. Since he lost his memory, it’s like starting all over again”

“I suppose that would happen,” said Ralph, then he leaned forward and said in an off hand manner, “I can tell by your face that you haven’t been having sex recently.”


“I’ve been a mercenary for a long time, I know the look,” said Ralph. “Occasionally, it’s even been on my face.”

“It’s none of your business!” said Duo. Ralph put his hand on top of Duo’s. Duo would’ve protested, but he felt the case of the mini disk between their hands. Not missing a beat, he moved his hand slowly back while sneaking the disk back towards him. What a way to get information, he thought..

Ralph then said, “You’re not a bad looking guy and when you put your mind to it, a good idea gets into your head once in a while. I’m just saying that since we’re both unattached and I seem to be your type, it wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

“It’s bad of me, but I won’t be taking up that offer.” Duo said coolly. He hopped up and left the bar. Idiot, he thought, now I need to take a cold shower.

Ralph looked at him and thought, Ah, well, worth a shot. And besides, I also slipped him my phone number just in case he changes his mind. .Then he laughed and ordered a beer.


Heero woke up on a Saturday. I should clean up the place a little, he thought. As he began organizing the house, a picture of who he once slowly emerged. My clothes, my books, my things, he thought. I am a young man who dresses casually most of the time, reads a lot about math, physics but doesn't mind reading poetry, and doesn't seem to care much for material things.

Then he began cleaning out the medicine cabinet only to find all these tubes inside it hidden behind the tincture of iodine and bandaids.. He raised an eyebrow at some of the contents. Motion Explosion, Splish Splash? He then read the purpose of said products. They’re all almost used up, he thought, these must’ve been used often. Duo hasn’t been . . . We haven’t . . .

While vacuuming, he thought, Duo hasn’t been complaining about the fact that we haven’t really slept together, but I’ve had to concentrate on relearning everything. Still, it must’ve been hard on him though from what he’s told me, we’ve been apart for months at a time, so it’s nothing new to him.

Gara, gara went the vacuum cleaner as it poked its head underneath the bed.. Heero switched off the vacuum cleaner only to find a DVD underneath the bed. It's unmarked, he thought. I wonder what's on it.

He put the disc in the DVD player. It was blank for a while, then it showed Duo smiling at the camera, naked. “Yo, Heero,” said the image on the screen. “Get out from behind the camera and join me already.”

“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” said a familiar grumble.

“Don’t be grumpy, we’re about to have sex,” chided Duo. “Besides, Sally said this was a fun game.”

“Hn.” Heero walked into the camera’s range and was wearing a policeman’s uniform. “I am here to apply my brand of justice. . .”

“Oh, once more with feeling!” Duo chided.

“I’ll show you feeling!” The Heero on the screen playfully shoved Duo on the bed, then proceeded to handcuff his hands behind his back, then got up.

Duo got up to a sitting position and Heero pulled out a sheet and began to read off. “You have the right to be excited. You have the right to have your cock frosted with whip cream and sucked clean. You have the right to be banged up the ass. You have the right to . . .”

Heero stared at what was going on the screen. This, he thought, this is what we used to do? He felt his face getting a little red. He then noticed that Duo’s penis was twitching upwards in response. He watched as he kissed Duo on the lips while pushing him back down on the bed then biting him on the scuff of the neck. Then he watched as the Heero on the screen began caressing Duo’s cock against his cheek with an almost reverence before enthusiastically beginning to suck it and worship it with his tongue. Duo ground his head into the bed with a look of closed-eyed ecstasy before letting Heero’s name come out as a moan.

He shut off the DVD player. I feel hot all over, he thought. And I’m stiffer than hell. He ran to the bathroom.

But instead of a cold shower, he filled the over-sized bathtub with warm water. While the tub filled, he found a bottle of Duo’s shampoo and a packet of the bubble bath he used, then threw all the contents into the bath. He inhaled deeply. It smells just like him or as close as you can get, he thought before stripping off his clothes. .

He sat down in the tub, then lay down and felt the warmth of the water flow into him. With one hand, he began massaging his balls while with the other, he began stroking his shaft and thumbing circles around the head. He closed his eyes and thought about Duo naked and calling out his name. Duo eagerly accepting his kisses and egging him on to do more . . . Finally, the visions and the smell that assaulted his senses made him finally erupt, leaving him spent.

Three more weeks is too long to wait for you to come home, he thought. Then he decided to watch the DVD again from the beginning.

to be continued

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