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Mr. Agony

Sorceress Fantasia

Duo slumped down into his chair in the empty editor office, not in the editor’s chair of course. He only managed a small column in the school papers. Small but popular, he decided. After a day of school, he had been pretty worn out, but he still decided to come here. The faster he got the job done, the faster he could go home and rest, he had reasoned.

Minutes after he arrived, his friend, who was also the editor, entered the room. Duo rose a lazy hand up to greet him as he mumbled an almost inaudible ‘hi’. Quatre seemed used to this kind of treatment, for he said nothing but a polite ‘hello’. After he made himself comfortable in his seat, he got down to business right away.

"Duo, these are for you." He said, as he pulled out a stack of letters from underneath the thick pile of papers on his table.

Duo took them silently, then leaned back into his chair. His eyes immediately scanned through the letters. After taking a brief look, he looked up at his friend. "Really, Quatre. These people are dumping all their troubles to me! It’s not as if I don’t have enough of my own."

Quatre barely stifled a snigger. "Oh please Duo. You were the one who was practically at my heels to let you manage this column! And it has won you so much admiration! From both the girls and the boys! C’mon, the guys absolutely adore this column."

"Popular as Mr. Agony. They still don’t know I’m the one writing all those flippant comments. Nobody knows! And nobody is *supposed* to know, except you." Duo warned, with a hint of danger in his eyes.

The blonde boy leaned back in his chair coolly, chuckling. "Of course. I knew that long ago. Don’t insult my intelligence, Duo." Then he asked. "So, how is Relena? Has the matter been settled?"

Duo sighed. Then he flopped down tiredly on Quatre’s table. "Honestly, it never occurred to me that she’s the observant type. You know, from the way she barely pulls through in her exams, she’s like a complete loony! But no~, out of so many people in school, she just *had* to be the one to notice this! What did I do to deserve it?"

"So is the matter settled?" Quatre repeated his query patiently.

The braided boy rolled his eyes, then finally nodded. "I told her that I’m Mr. Agony’s friend, and that he wants to do his job in peace. So I’m not supposed to reveal anything."

"And she just gave up like that?"

"No, of course not. If it were so easy…" He grimaced. "I had to charm her brains out. Do ya know just how much I had to sacrifice?"

"I can understand that. Having to seduce the ultimate geek in our school…" Quatre shuddered at that thought. It was just sooo totally gross.

Then Duo stood up. "Well, I guess I’ve gotta go. With all my assignments and these letters, I’ll be lucky if I can just get some sleep tonight."


Duo propped his feet onto his table tiredly. Leaning back against his chair, he shuffled the stack of letters in his hand. Closing his eyes, he picked one out. Throwing the rest back onto the table, he opened the one he had just chosen.

It was a plain white envelope, and the only words on it were ‘To Mr. Agony’. Duo raised an eyebrow at the neat handwriting. Neat, but most definitely boyish. He gingerly tore open the envelope and pulled the slip of paper inside. It read:

Mr. Agony,

I don’t know why, but I always feel awkward when I’m near this certain someone. My heart beats faster, and I start getting jittery. I want to talk naturally to this person, but my tongue always get tied up, and I end up ignoring this person or giving crude remarks. Is there something wrong with me?

Confused Soldier

Duo smirked. This was one letter he would most definitely have to reply to. Picking up his pen, he wrote his answer.


The next day, Duo waltzed into the classroom. Dumping his bag onto his desk, he bounced over to his friend’s desk.

"Hey, Hee-chan! Lend me your math homework would ya?" He blinked his eyes innocently, trying to charm his friend with the infamous Maxwell charm.

Heero frowned at the endearment. "Do it yourself." Then he turned back to his work unconcernedly.

Duo pouted. "Aww! Please?" He looked at his cold friend with his puppy-eyes that few, if any, had ever been able to resist.

Duo Maxwell had worked his magic yet again, for Heero handed the piece of work over wordlessly. The braided boy smirked, then took the paper gleefully. He threw his arms gratefully around the impassive boy. "Oh thank you! Thank you so very much!" Then he bounced back to his desk to start copying the homework.

The class monitor Wufei nudged his head angrily. "Would you just keep quiet? If you didn’t notice, the rest of the class are trying to revise for the Geography test later!"

Duo stuck out a tongue. "Sorry I didn’t notice, Wu-buttercup!"

Wufei’s face turned red all over, and he clenched his fist tightly, cursing. "Kisama! You’re disgusting!" Then he walked up to Duo, and was about to give him a piece of his mind, Heero stopped him.

"It’s enough. Class is starting soon." Heero warned, sending his trademarked death glare. Wufei winced a little, then huffed and went back to his seat. As he went back to his own seat, he was immediately glomped by a braided pile of vivacious energy.

"Thank you sooo much, Hee-chan! My hero!" Duo swooned, giggling at the pun.

Heero shook him off rather rudely, and Duo sighed as he sat down in his chair. Unbeknownst to him, though, Heero’s face had turned a bright shade of red.


After school, Duo dropped by at the newsletter office again. Seeing his smiling face, Quatre came up to him with a knowing grin.

"I see that you enjoyed those… ‘things’ last night, eh?" He teased.

The braided boy grin right back. "Yup!" Then he dug out the replies he had written. "Here, these are the few I’ve decided to reply to."

His blonde companion skimmed through them quickly. His eyes fell onto one that was addressed to someone with a weird name. "Confused soldier?"

Duo nodded. "Yup. Weird name, eh?"

Without another second of hesitation, Quatre read the reply.

Confused Soldier,

The cupid has struck again, and you know what? You’re the lucky winner! Well, I need to congratulate you, because you’ve found the one that many take so long to find! You’re in love! Don’t let go of this special someone, ok?

Mr. Agony

He looked up at Duo and sighed dreamily. "First love… It’s always so romantic."

Duo just gazed away, at the emptiness. ‘Love… when will I find that person to fill the void?’


A week later, Duo received another letter.

Mr. Agony,

Why are you so sure that I’m in love? Is it because I’ve shown the signs of being in love? But what is love anyway? Do you really know what is it?

P.S. Please reply to me through my e-mail. It’s

Confused Soldier

Duo frowned, then realized that the things they were going to talk about were most probably too private to let others know. Sighing, he typed into his computer.

Confused Soldier,

You’re right. You do show all the signs of being in love.

Well, I can’t actually tell you what love is, because everyone’s definition is different. For me, love is seeing yourself through someone’s eyes, and finding yourself in somebody’s heart. It’s sometimes contradicting, because it also consists of hate. You want to be protected by that person, yet at the same time, you wish to protect him. You hate that person, as much as you love him. You hate him for shielding you from an attack, yet you love him for his protection. It’s the desire to see that person everyday, to be alone with that person every second, to be with that person forever.

If you really want to know what is love, the best way is to experience it yourself. Then, you will truly understand it, and be grateful for the world for granting you such a wonderful gift. The gift to love, and to be loved.

Write to me again if you need help.

Mr. Agony

Duo didn’t know what had prompted him to write that last sentence, but his mind told him that it was the least he could do for some boy who was dealing with unknown emotions. Even if he couldn’t have that love he wanted himself, he wanted others to have it.


A few days later, Duo received the next letter through Quatre.

Mr. Agony,

So what should I do now? I still don’t understand how I could fall in…lo… with that person. He’s annoying and a real Smart Alec. His mouth never stops working, but if he doesn’t talk, it simply wouldn’t be him anymore. Furthermore, he’s a boy! We’re both boys!

Confused Soldier

His reply was straightforward and just plain frank. Somehow, Duo felt as though he was helping himself realize something too. His own feelings towards a certain someone…

Confused Soldier,

When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults, you don't look for answers, you don't look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes, you accept the faults, and you overlook excuses. Besides, I believe those things you said about him are what makes him just him and nobody else.

About the gender part, I don’t any problem with that. I believe love transcends all bounds, including gender. As long as you truly love him, nothing is important except him.

Mr. Agony

And then the next letter came in less than two days.


Mr. Agony,

So what you’re saying is that I should confess my feelings to that person? But what if he doesn’t want me? What if he has already a girl or boyfriend? Then what should I do?

Confused Soldier

His own reply was just as fast.

Confused Soldier,

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride. We spend so much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give. Don’t be shy to confess because of your pride. In the end when that person does get a girl/boyfriend, it’s you who’s gonna regret.

About that rejection part… It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. And more importantly, giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

Get my drift?

Mr. Agony

By then, Duo had practically looked forward to the letters he would get from this mysterious boy. He felt curious about who the boy was, and who was his crush. If that were the case, he would even help the boy get a date with his crush! But Duo knew it was just too private. And each time he received his letter, his curiosity would increase three fold. He felt that he could just die from the cursed thing called ‘curiosity’. He asked Quatre whether he had seen the boy, but Duo knew that the boy probably dropped the letter in the newsletter’s postbox outside their office.

And things in school didn’t help him either. Duo noticed that Heero was staring at him strangely when he thought he didn’t notice, and he was also being extra nice to him, offering to tutor him or helping him buy lunch when he was too busy to. Although Duo felt flattered at the sudden shower of care and concern, he was also a little unnerved to say the least.

Eventually, Duo received the letter he thought would mean the end of his penpal-ship with the Confused Soldier.

Mr. Agony,

I think I finally understand. I’ll talk to him as soon as possible. Thanks for all the help you’ve given all these time. I really appreciate your help. Thank you.

(Not) Confused Soldier

Duo smiled at the change in his friend’s pen name. ‘Not confused anymore, are you?’ He felt the satisfaction that he had helped another friend again. Hopefully, he could help himself too, to admit his own feelings, his own crush on his classmate since a long time ago.


The next day, he found a note in his locker.


Please meet me at the rooftop after school today. I have something very important to tell you.

Heero Yuy

Duo frowned. Briefly, he wondered why Heero was being so secretive, but then he gave up, knowing that it was impossible to understand how Heero’s brain functioned. After school, he immediately rushed up to the rooftop, knowing how much his friend hated to wait.

Once he reached the rooftop, Duo slumped onto the ground, panting. Heero was already there, and he helped him up once he had regained most of his strength.

"So, what’s up?" Duo asked nonchalantly.

To his surprise, Heero fidgeted uncomfortably. "I… I just want to tell you that… erm… I…"

Duo cocked his head, staring at Heero incredulously. Heero was nervous? Nervous? Him? Duo never thought he would live to see the day Heero got nervous. "Uh-huh?" He prodded with his hands making small circles, indicating that he was still listening.

Heero took in a fresh breath of air, and managed to calm himself down. "Duo," He started again.

Duo stopped breathing, heart pounding at the worry of what Heero was trying to say. He nodded vigorously, urging Heero to speak faster or he would die of curiosity.

"Ai shiteru."

Duo felt his jaws slacken, and his eyes pop out of their sockets. "Wh-- What!?" He nearly screamed.

"… I don’t know when it happened, but I think it started when I first met you, here at the rooftop two years ago. It started as a tingling in my spine whenever I saw you, shivers when I talked to you. But I never thought that it was love I felt for you. I always thought it was friendship. But now I know. Duo, I love you." Heero confessed sincerely, and Duo thought he was going to drown in the torrents of emotions washing over him.

"But… how? Why now?" Duo stammered.

Heero gave him a coy smile. "I… wrote to Mr. Agony for advice. He told me to treasure you, and don’t let you go so easily. That’s why I decided to confess my feelings for you." Then he wavered. "But I’ll understand if you don’t want me, ‘cause I’m always so cold to you. Besides, we’re both boys. I’ll understand…"

"Confused Soldier?" Duo blurted.

At this, Heero snapped his head to stare at the braided boy. "Nani?"

"You’re Confused Soldier?" Duo asked again.

"How did you know?" Heero knitted his brows. This was not what he had expected.

"I…" Duo faltered, then decided that Heero had the right to know. "I’m Mr. Agony."

Realization dawned on Heero. Then reality bit him. "YOU'RE MR. AGONY?!" Then he stepped back, and slumped down in shock.

Duo sprinted up quickly, and knelt beside him. "Heero! Are you ok? Heero?" He wrapped his arms around Heero tightly, and whispered into his ear. "Heero. Please don’t be angry. I love you too."

That shook Heero out of his trance. He cupped Duo’s cheek, and wrapped the other arm around Duo’s waist. "You’re the one who replied all my letters. You’re the one who encouraged me to confess my feelings. Duo…" He paused, and pressed his lips against Duo’s forehead. "Ai shiteru."


A few days later…

"Hey Quatre!" Duo bounced into the office gleefully, Heero following silently behind.

The young blonde looked up from the pile of work on his table and smiled. "Duo! Heero!" His smile widened when he saw Heero hugging Duo from behind him. The two were just too sweet. Quatre looked on enviously. Ever since they had confessed their feelings for each other, they were practically stuck together by super glue. They both moved into the dorms, and Heero had made sure that they roomed together. Quatre wouldn’t be surprised if someone complained that they were too loud at night.

"So, where’s the letters?" Duo asked.

Quatre reached into a cabinet, and dug out a stack of letters. "Here."

Duo took them, then scanned the writings curiously. Suddenly, he tore open one of the letters. It read:

Mr. Agony,

I am having some problems with a certain someone in my class. My heart starts pounding at my rib cage when I see him, and I lose my voice when he talks to me. I feel like running my fingers through his blonde hair, cup his fair cheeks and just gaze into his searing pools of aquamarine. Am I supposed to feel this way for a fellow classmate, who also happens to be a boy?

P.S. Please reply to me via my email


Laughing, Duo turned to his lover. "Heero, I think it’s starting again."

Sorceress Fantasia @ 25th March 2001

Author’s Notes: Yea! Another fic finished! I think you guys know who Harlequin is, right? And about his crush… yea, I think you guys know. Ja ne!


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