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Maxwell's Demon (Part 2 - Part 3)


Madam Hydra




Part 2



[at Treize's estate]


"Ohhh....," mumbled the traumatized Chinese pilot.


Wufei was lying on the sofa, clutching a bloody handkerchief to

his nose, as his head rested in Zechs' lap. The OZ ace scowled at

Treize who sat at the other end of the sofa, occasionally rubbing poor

Wufei's toes as he leafed through the pictures that had accompanied

Relena's email message and which he had just printed out. It had been

those same photos of Heero and Duo that had given Wufei a spectacular



"I can't believe he's still THAT shy after sleeping with both of

us!" Zechs muttered, hoping that he won't have to explain getting

bloodstains on his pristine white pants.


Treize absently said, "Why do you think he ends up blindfolded

most of the time or why I always keep the room so dark? Do you have

any idea how many sets of sheets he's managed to ruin? Although in

this day and age, you'd think they'd come up with an effective way to

get bloodstains out of silk... hmmmm...." The nobleman held up one

particular picture and showed it to Zechs. "What do you think about



As Zechs took a closer look at the photo, his blue eyes slowly

went wide and an expression of disbelief appeared on his face. He

give Treize a wary look.


"You... you don't mean... you're not suggesting that *I*...."

The enthusiastic nod and the mischievous smile on his superior

officer's face confirmed Zechs' worst fears. The OZ pilot jumped to

his feet. Unfortunately, he had totally forgotten Wufei's presence in

his lap and ended up dumping his other lover onto the cold marble



"Ow!!!" howled Wufei as he landed with a thud.


"Are you CRAZY, Treize!?"


"Why not?" The OZ general gave his platinum-haired lover a benign



"Because if I tried something like that, I'd end up in traction

for DAYS! If you haven't noticed, that damned Gundam pilot is over a

foot shorter than I am!"


Treize raised an elegant eyebrow. "Oh, so now you're admitting

that there's something that Heero Yuy can do that you can't?"

Zechs turned away, his back rigid with offended pride, and

snarled, "I didn't say that."


The OZ general smugly inspected his fingernails. "That's what it

sounded like...."


Zechs whirled around. "Anything he can do, I can do and better!"

"And if I say that I don't believe you?" cooed Treize tauntingly.

The wolfish OZ pilot stalked forward. "Then I guess I'll just

have to PROVE it to you."


"Zechs, don't do anything stupid!" warned Wufei who was still

lying on the floor. "Haven't you figured it out by now? That Heero's

just not human!" The Chinese pilot grabbed at Zechs' legs in an

effort to keep him from moving. "Damn it! I don't want to see you

get hurt attempting something so reckless!"


Zechs gave the young Gundam pilot a stern stare. "Wufei, you of

all people should understand that my pride and honor are now at



"Oh hell, if you put it THAT way...," muttered Wufei morosely. He

released his grip on Zechs and slouched against the sofa.

Treize purred, "Are you sure you don't want to join us, little



"Uh-uh. No way. Despite what you think, I've still got SOME

sense of self-preservation! Besides, I've got a bad feeling that

you're going to need someone to call the medical staff before you're

through," growled an irate Wufei.


He was eventually right.




[at the Gundam pilots' safehouse]


Relena frowned in annoyance and bewilderment. "What are you

babbling about now, you monster?" she snarled at Duo. "And keep your

slimy paws off of him!"


Heero, who had no apparent objections to Duo's hands, gave her a

searing look.


Trowa silently handed over several of the pictures to Relena. She

stared at them for a long moment, then finally muttered, "Oh my...

it's the wrong set." Her face set in a regally restrained expression

of distaste, she handed the photos back to Trowa.


"The... wrong... set...," growled Heero, nearly shaking in rage.

Hearing the fury in his lover's voice, Duo took the precaution of

wrapping his arms firmly around Heero's waist.


"Heero! The computer file! We've got to stop it from getting

sent out!" the Deathscythe pilot frantically reminded his companion.

"Can you imagine what will happen if Doctor J or those other freaks

get a hold of those pictures!?"


The Wing pilot's face suddenly turned as green as his tanktop as

Duo's words sank in.


As Quatre scurried off to the bathroom and faint retching noises

could be heard, Trowa frowned and said in a mildly shocked voice,

"Really, Duo, was THAT comment actually necessary?"


Duo blurted, "Sorry about that, guys, but we've got to remember

what's really important! It's not like I don't want to pound her into

the ground, but we've got to worry about that computer file first!"

He gave Relena a harassed glance and said, "How the hell are you going

to distribute that stupid file?"


She gave him her most queenly stare and sneered, "As if I'm going

to tell you?"


Duo yelled back, "C'mon! Don't you get it, you nit-wit!? If

those pictures get out, do you have ANY idea how humiliating it's

going to be for Heero!?" A sly gleam entered his violet eyes. "You

wouldn't want to do that, would you? Embarrass the man you love, eh?"

Relena flushed a deep red. "Oh no... I didn't think about that."

It finally occurred to her just how unhappy Heero would be to find

XXX-rated pictures of himself splashed across every computer in the

known universe.


Duo softly muttered, "I didn't think so...."


"Of course... I can't let that happen."


His face set in hard lines, Heero growled, "What sort of program

are you using to distribute the file?"


"I... well, let's see if I can remember... I used a search... what

were the terms?" She smiled. "I remember searching for terms like

'self-replicating', 'auto-send', that sort of thing. I ended up

finding a program called 'Amelia'."


Heero closed his eyes and rubbed at his forehead.


"What's wrong?" asked Duo, worried at the uncharacteristic show of

emotion on his lover's face.


"She picked a damn computer virus. The Amelia virus is the modern

version of a very old email virus called Melissa. Basically, once it

hits a computer, it automatically sends out copies of a specified file

to every single email address contained in that computer."


Duo's amethyst eyes grew wide. "You... you don't mean to tell me

that the entire friggin' network is about to get mail-bombed by

Relena's damn file and OUR pictures!?!?" he squawked in disbelief.

Heero muttered, "Not only that. If it isn't stopped quickly

enough, it's very possible that the Amelia virus could permanently

crash the network just from the sheer overload of messages."

"Oh dear...." murmured Relena.


"Great, now we have to also worry about the end of civilization as

well!" yelled Duo.


Quatre, still looking a bit pale, walked into the room and said,

"But can you stop it, Heero?"


The Wing pilot nodded grimly. "I think so, if I catch it before

it gets released into the network. If it gets out, we might as well

forget it. Our best chance is at the computer where she put the file

together." He shook off Duo's grasp and stalked toward Relena.

"And you're going to take me there."


"Of course! But on one condition...."


"You're NOT in any position to make conditions!" Heero spat out.

She gave him a faintly injured look. "I know that's not really

YOU talking." Relena scowled at Duo, who rolled his eyes in



"What are you raving about now?" demanded Heero, growing more

irritated by the second.


"No, wait! I'll be happy to show you where I was working... but

only if you come alone."


"Now hold it a damn minute!" objected Duo.


"I insist! Only Heero comes with me!" she said, stamping her



Relena smiled to herself. The other set of pictures -- the ones

proving that Duo Maxwell was a murderous demonic fiend -- were in her

office. Once she got Heero alone and away from Duo's immediate

influence, she could hopefully convince him of the truth about

Maxwell. And if THAT didn't work... well, she had that contingency

covered, too.


It was obvious to all the Gundam pilots that Relena was up to

something crooked, but Heero merely snapped, "Fine. Let's go." He

dumped the photos into Duo's hands -- all except one, which he

surreptitiously stuffed into some mysterious place in his shorts --

then grabbed Relena's arm and dragged her out of the house. A few

seconds later, they heard an engine rev and tires squealing as a car

roared away.


As soon as they were gone, Duo threw the pictures of him and Heero

on the table and headed for the back door.


"Duo? You're following them?" Quatre asked.


"Of course I am! Do you think I'm leaving Heero alone with HER!?

I'm sure Heero's expecting me to follow. Besides, I wouldn't put

anything past her at this point. She could bloody well have some

crazy scheme to kidnap him, for all I know!"


Before he rushed out the door, Duo suddenly turned around. There

was a dangerous glitter in Duo's violet eyes as he growled ominously,

"I am Shinigami and Heero Yuy's MINE!"


After the braided pilot's departure, Trowa and Quatre exchanged

long looks. Finally, the Sandrock pilot spoke.


"You know... he sounded awfully serious...."


"Yes. Very."


"Trowa, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"


"I think so, Quatre," the Heavyarms pilot responded, thinking of

the potentially explosive combination of an infuriated Heero, a

blindly obsessed Relena, and a dangerously possessive Duo.


Without another word, the two of them ran out of the safehouse

after their fellow pilots.




[on the road to Relena's office]


As he drove down the road at a high rate of speed, Heero was

grateful that Relena had the apparent wisdom to keep her mouth shut,

but as soon as the thought crossed his mind, she ruined everything by

saying, "Heero?"


He growled irately at her, simmering in barely controlled fury.

She edged closer to him and said, "Heero?"


He hoped that she wouldn't start screeching any louder. If she

did, he was going to punch her out cold and that would cause

complications later on....


She coughed awkwardly. "I didn't mean to make such a mess of

things. Really I didn't. The last thing I wanted to do is to hurt

you in any way, but I simply HAD to show you that you were only being

used... no, that you were being hideously ABUSED by Maxwell."

He flicked an icy glare in her direction.


"I know that long ago... when you were a child, you were...

normal. Happy... carefree.... And then, something terrible happened

to make you this way. And... and I think it's absolutely horrible how

that monster took advantage of your vulnerability and pain!"

Heero's eyes widened as his anger transformed into incredulity and

disbelief. Unfortunately, like so many times before, Relena

completely misinterpreted his expression.


She clutched at his arm and said in an earnest voice, "Yes, don't

be surprised that I know the truth! There's no need to pretend any

more. And nothing you've been through will make me think less of you,

my dear Heero!"


He absently wondered if she had the slightest idea just how

pompous and patronizing she sounded.


"You're probably used to this sort of... unhealthy...

relationship. I've read that even the most horrible things begin to

feel... normal... if they go on long enough. And I'm sure that

Maxwell is relying on that fact to keep you under his control!" A

unnerving, teary look appeared in her eyes as she hovered even closer.

As he instinctively leaned away from the encroachment on his

personal space, she sniffed sadly. "But it doesn't have to continue

this way, Heero! The pain... the humiliation... the degradation....

You know, they have doctors and therapists who can help people like

you. If you let them, they can... they can FIX you.... They can

save you from this... this hellish, abusive relationship that... that

vicious creature's sucked you into!"


Heero slammed on the brakes and pulled the car to a screeching

stop at the side of the road.


"Don't EVER talk that way about Duo," he snarled.


"Stop trying to deny your feelings, Heero! If you ever want to be

free of him...."


With deadly precision, he retorted, "Deny my own feelings? That's

the last thing I'm doing. And what if I don't WANT to be free of



"Oh, Heero, why won't you face the truth?" Relena moaned,

mournfully shaking her head.


"The truth!?" He glared at her. "You want the TRUTH!? Well,

here's the damn truth!"


Heero yanked out the picture he had pocketed earlier and shoved it

in Relena's face. Pictures of him and Duo having sex were bad enough,

but what really enraged Heero were the other pictures of quieter, more

intimate moments... moments when emotions normally hidden could

plainly be seen. The particular photo in question was one of Duo as

he leaned above Heero with a faint smile, his long chestnut hair

cascading loosely over his shoulders. But it was the expression of

love in those clear, amethyst eyes as Duo stared down at him that made

the photo so important to the Wing pilot.


That look on Duo's face was for him and him alone. He would be

DAMNED if he would let a hoard of complete strangers see it... to let

them intrude on that exquisitely private moment.


Relena gave the photo a dismissive glance and shook her head

sadly. "Oh, my poor Heero...." She could just see the hunger and

greed lurking in that monster Duo's eyes. Who knows what evil plans

were going through the creature's mind at that moment?

The Wing pilot clutched the steering wheel with a white-knuckled

grip and slowly banged his head against it. Now he knew how Duo had

been feeling earlier. Relena was obviously in her own delusional

world and nothing he could say or show her would make her believe

otherwise. Duo made him feel human... alive... and it frustrated him

to no end to have Relena accuse Duo -- the one truly GOOD thing in his

life -- of maliciously abusing him.


He damn well knew she was wrong. After all, he had first-hand

experience with the real thing.


Heero hissed angrily and restarted the car. He wasn't going to

think about Relena's garbage any more. He was going to retrieve the

damn file, then drop her into the deepest hole he could find and BURY





[at Treize's estate]


"I warned you, didn't I?" said a distinctly intoxicated Wufei with

a smug little smirk.


"Shut up and just help me get my leg untangled!" Treize growled



A distinctly evil expression crossed the Chinese pilot's face as

he stared down at the helpless OZ general.


"No... wait... what are you...? You wouldn't.... Oh hell, you

would! Wufei, stop that! Not the feathers!!!" babbled a suddenly

nervous Treize.


"Oh yes, the feathers," Wufei said inexorably, cracking his

knuckles in anticipation. "That would only be... justice," he said

with a slightly drunken giggle.


Zechs was in no position to really say anything, but he shot a

'now-you've-done-it' glare at Treize. The dirty look was soon

followed by a pained yelp as his superior officer started to squirm




Part 3



[at Relena's office, located on one of the buildings on Treize's



Relena Peacecraft's secretary was cleaning up her employer's

office when room suddenly went dim, as if someone had simultaneously

closed the curtains and turned off the lights. She froze as something

sharp pricked the back of her neck and a soft husky male voice asked,

"Did Relena receive a bunch of photos recently?"


"Y-Yes. From two different people. It was two days ago. She was

frightfully upset...," she murmured nervously.


"I see. So there really are two sets of pictures floating around.

So where are they now?"


"She took one set with her."


"And where's the other set?" the male voice asked cheerfully.

Terribly conscious of the sharp object brushing her neck, she told



"Thanks for the info. Just one last thing."




"Did you take a look at that second set of pictures?"


She shivered. When she didn't answer, the sharpness pressed

against her throat and she felt something warm trickle down her neck.

"Yes... I... I did."


"And what was on them?"


She told him that, too.


The sharp object abruptly left her neck. The secretary whirled

around to see a short, slim figure standing a few feet away, its black

clothes blending into the general dimness of the office. She was

startled to realize that her attacker was just a teenage boy. But

there was something strangely familiar about him....


He chuckled ruefully and shook his head.


"Oh dear. Now I'm going to have to kill you."


The boy's long chestnut bangs had obscured much of his face, but

when he carelessly tossed back his waist-length braid and lifted his

head, the secretary was horrified to see two luminous violet eyes

staring at her. No whites or pupils... just those softly glowing

amethyst orbs that seem to suck her down into their endless depths.

Totally entranced, she never noticed when the glowing green scythe

flared into existence and decapitated her with a single stroke.

< It would be nearly a month later before a startled maintenance

man (who had trying to track down the odd smell everyone was

complaining about) accidentally discovered the dismembered body of a

female hidden in Relena's office. But as for just how it ended up

crammed twenty-five feet up the chimney, no one could come up with a

plausible suggestion. >




[15 minutes later, Relena's office]


Heero stalked into Relena's darkened office and froze as she

fiddled with the broken light switch. He thought he could detect the

familiar metallic scent of blood, but a careful look around the room

showed nothing unusual.


"Where did she go?" Relena muttered in frustration. She had been

relying on having her secretary around to help make the necessary

arrangements, but the foolish woman was nowhere to be found.

The Wing pilot shook his head sharply as Relena walked over to her

desk. At first, she seemed confident -- almost smug -- but as he

watched, she became increasing frantic as she searched the desk for



"Oh no... oh no... it's not here! Where can it possibly be? It

has to be here!" she wailed.


"Relena...," he growled ominously.


"They're gone! All the pictures of Maxwell are gone!"


Heero stalked over to her. "Are you still going on about that?"


"But I'm telling you they were here! The other set of pictures

and the videotape of the monster!"


He grabbed her arm and snapped, "Where's the computer?"


"The what?"


"The computer where you put the file together," he said flatly,

giving her a hard shake. "I'm in no mood for games!"


She mutely pointed to the work station off to the side of her



After he got the necessary passwords out of her, he sat down at

the computer and started to work.


Relena was in a near state of panic at the moment. The pictures

were gone. Her only evidence against Duo Maxwell had vanished. But

how? They had left the monster far behind at the house, so who could

have taken the pictures?


She gazed at Heero's back as she continued to rummage around her

desk in the faint hope that her secretary had simply put them in a

drawer. But she was coming to realize that even if she could find the

pictures, they would be useless. That demon Maxwell simply had too

powerful a grip on poor Heero's mind. The monster had even managed to

convince Heero that Duo was actually in love with him, when it was

blatantly clear to her that Heero was just a convenient plaything and

maybe even a potential meal.


Her face set with grim determination, she opened one last drawer

and pulled out the specially prepared pistol. She had hoped that it

wouldn't come down to this, but with the missing pictures and her

inability to break through Maxwell's web of lies, she had no choice.

Relena took deliberate aim at Heero's back and pulled the trigger.

Heero caught a glimpse of her movement reflected off the computer

screen a fraction of a second before she fired. Sheer surprise held

him frozen for a vital split second and a sharp pain hit him in the

left shoulder.


He jumped to his feet and spun around. Grabbing at his shoulder,

his fingers encounter a tranquilizer dart.


In the face of his accusing stare, Relena dropped the air pistol

and whispered tearfully, "I'm sorry, Heero. I really am. I didn't

want to do it, but it's the only way to save you from Maxwell. I know

you probably hate me at the moment, but when you're cured and that

monster's dead, you'll understand and forgive me, I'm sure."

Heero's brain skipped to the most important thing. "What do you

mean 'when that monster's dead'?" he shouted furiously. The Wing

pilot pounced on her and pinned her against the desk. "What the hell

have you done to Duo!?"


She gasped out, "I... I sent a message to Treize Khushrenada...

warning him all about Maxwell. He's probably sending OZ forces to

destroy the creature even as we speak...."


"You...." Heero found it impossible to finish his sentence as a

tremendous wave of numbness and dizziness sent him staggering.

As he started to sag to the ground, she grabbed him and held him

close. "Don't fight it, Heero. You'll only make it worse."


"Let... go... of... me...," he gritted out, but Relena was too

busy chattering about psychologists and therapy sessions and wedding

plans to pay attention.


When Heero finally went limp, Relena managed to heave him over

onto her desk. Panting with the exertion, she stared down at his

gorgeous, still face. Impulsively, she bent down and gave the

unconscious Heero her most passionate kiss just as Duo burst through

the door to her office.


"You bitch! What the hell did you do to him!?" the braided pilot

shouted furiously at her.




When Trowa and Quatre finally arrived at Relena's office, they

found a most interesting scene. Relena was lying on the floor, bound

hand and foot, and gagged with a big wad of pantyhose. She didn't pay

any attention to the two newcomers. Instead, she continued to

futilely thrash around, uttering very muffled screams of rage as she

glared at the two boys on top of her desk.


Quatre and Trowa both blinked as they observed Duo who appeared to

be in the middle of a protracted, saliva-swapping kiss with a rather

passive Heero.


Finally, Trowa said in a detached voice, "Duo, don't you think

that this really isn't the time for that? You're supposed to be

trying to retrieve that computer file."


Duo pulled his lips free from Heero's and gasped, "Don't you think

I know THAT!? But Relena somehow knocked him out cold with some

blasted drug dart and now he's not breathing!" He bent down over

Heero to blow some more air into his lover's lungs.


"WHAT!" blurted Quatre as he ran over to the desk. Checking

Heero's pulse, he found it appallingly sluggish.


Between breaths, Duo managed to say, "Find out what that bitch

used... and call Sally Po and see if she knows an antidote for it!"

He watched Heero tensely. Duo had been successful in getting Heero to

start breathing several times already, but he couldn't *keep* the Wing

pilot breathing.


Trowa yanked the wad of pantyhose out of Relena's mouth, listened

briefly to her rambling discourse that consisted of abject apologies

to Heero and screams for Duo to stop molesting the Wing pilot. Soon

realizing that Relena wasn't going to say anything immediately useful,

Trowa laconically stuffed the pantyhose back into her mouth and picked

up the phone. Fortunately, the doctor was available.

"Sally, we have a problem."


"What's wrong, Trowa?" she said over the phone.


"Heero's been injected with a drug and now he's not breathing...

correction, his breathing keeps stopping."


"Do you know what drug he was given?"


Trowa carefully read off the drug name and dosage off the dart's



There was a long silence, then Sally said, "Would you mind telling

me how Heero got hit with a tranquilizer for animals? And it's no

wonder he's having problems breathing! That dosage could take down a

herd of full grown horses!"


Duo scowled furiously at Relena. "Shit! Just what were you

thinking, you idiot!?"


Quatre thoughtfully ungagged Relena who sputtered, "It wasn't MY

fault! I asked a doctor who forwarded me to a colleague of his! I

can't help it if the fool gave me the wrong drug! Besides, what

difference could it make? If it's harmless for animals, surely it

should be fine for people, as well!"


Trowa sighed quietly and muttered, "Someone should tell her about



"What the hell did you exactly tell the doctor that you needed the

drug for?" Duo asked sarcastically. "I bet you didn't tell him that

you were planning to kidnap someone!"


Relena turned beet red and mumbled something.


Quatre, who was the only person in the room in a position to hear

what she was saying, suddenly exclaimed, "You said you were going to

do WHAT with a STALLION!?"


Over the phone, Sally said, "Listen. I know of something that

will partially counteract the drug. You should be able to find it in

any infirmary. Give me a call once you have it. By then, I should

have figured out the appropriate dosage."


After Sally read off the name of the antidote, Trowa hung up and

turned to Duo. "I'll take care of it and be back shortly."




As they waited for Trowa's return, Quatre stood up and said, "I'll

take a quick look around and make sure...." His words were abruptly

cut short as Relena managed to hook her feet around his ankle and trip

him, sending him sprawling on his face.


As he gingerly picked himself off the floor, he blurted, "Miss

Relena! Why on earth did you do THAT for?" Quatre then looked

appalled as she burst into tears.


"Please don't leave me and Heero alone with HIM!" she sobbed.


"With who?"


"With HIM!" With her bound feet, Relena pointed at Duo, who was

staring at her with a decidedly nasty gleam in his violet eyes. "God

knows what that monster will do!"


Quatre gave her a dubious look. "Miss Relena, are you STILL going

on with those crazy accusations about Duo?"


"I'm not crazy! I'm telling you he's an evil monster and now he's

going to kill me because I know too much!"


"Be afraid. Be VERY afraid," Duo said with a menacing snigger,

even as he kept a careful eye on Heero's erratic breathing.

"Duo!" exclaimed Quatre in a scolding voice. "You're only making

her more frightened by teasing her like that!"


"Damn right I am!" the Deathscythe pilot said without a shred of

remorse. "The bitch could have killed Heero with her stupidity and

I'm going to see that she bloody well pays!"


"See! See what I mean!" shrieked the now terrified Relena. She

could clearly see the malevolent gleam in Maxwell's hideous purple



"Gee, Relena, what do we happen to have in here?" Duo muttered as

he peered inside the oversized purse she had left beside the desk.

"My my my. A serious handgun -- it's even loaded! -- and a few hand

grenades? Just the thing your normal, everyday total pacifist carts

around in her bag, I'm sure."


"Keep your filthy paws off my things!" she shouted.


Duo glared dangerously at her. "Oh? Do you consider Heero to be

one of your THINGS?" He lifted the pistol and took careful aim at



"That isn't funny, Duo!" the Arab pilot exclaimed.


"Who said I was joking?" the American said with the same maniacal

grin he wore when he was slicing enemy Mobile Suits to shreds. But to

Quatre's relief, he put the gun away and settled down beside the still

unconscious Heero with the all the grace and lethal beauty of a black



Quatre sighed and sat down on the floor beside the still

hysterical Relena. He hoped that Trowa would come back soon.




Within a half hour, Trowa returned with the antidote to the

tranquilizer. After a quick consultation with Sally Po, they

administered the drug and waited for it to take effect. With Relena

bouncing between wild threats and terrified entreaties, Trowa and

Quatre finally dragged her out into the waiting room to keep her away

from the thoroughly aggravated Duo. As they dumped her on a chair,

the phone rang.




"Trowa, I'm so sorry. I was in such a rush I forgot to tell you

something important about the tranquilizer and its counteragent."


"What is it?"

"There are certain side-effects."


"What sort of side-effects?" Trowa asked, a faint frown of concern

on his face.


"Uncontrolled euphoria, a loss of normal inhibitions, and a

dramatically increased libido."


Quatre muttered, "Oh no...." He ran over to Relena's office and

peered inside.


"What's up?" Duo asked the blond pilot with a curious look.


"Sally Po just told us that the drugs in Heero's system are likely

to cause certain side-effects."


The American stiffened, "Like what!?"


"She said there's going to be euphoria...."


Suddenly, Heero curled up and uttered a distinct giggle.

"....and.... and a loss of...," the Sandrock pilot stammered,

eyeing the softly giggling Wing pilot uncertainly.


A pair of arms suddenly wrapped themselves tightly around a

startled Duo and pulled him back against a warm, firm body.

"Heero!" yelped the braided pilot, a relieved smile on his face.

"I'm SO glad you're safe...," Heero purred, nuzzling at Duo's neck

and face like a playful kitten.


"....inhibitions...," continued the Arab pilot in a slightly

strangled voice.


"....and I'm going to fuck you stupid!" the wildly grinning Heero

growled roughly in the braided pilot's ear, his hands already

slithering under Duo's shirt.


"....and a dramatically increased libido!" a wide-eyed Quatre

finished with a squeak.


"I don't need a goddamn play-by-play commentary!" snarled Heero.

With his usual excellent coordination, he was busily occupied

unzipping Duo's pants with one hand while using the other hand to hurl

a paperweight with deadly accuracy in the direction of the doorway.

Quatre ducked the chunk of outrageously expensive glass that would

have split his head wide open and yelled, "Duo!?"


"I'm fine... close the damn door before he....mmmppph!" shouted

Duo, but his words were abruptly cut by Heero's devouring mouth.

"Mine...." growled the Wing Pilot, shifting his attentions lower

down Duo's body.


"Are you sure...?" repeated the anxious Sandrock pilot.


"YES, just do it! Heero, give me that gun! You can't shoot



"I fucking will if he doesn't get the hell out of here...." the

Japanese pilot said with an unhealthy degree of enthusiasm. "In fact,

I might go ahead and shoot him anyway...!"


Quatre slammed the office door shut, leaving himself alone with

Trowa and Relena in the waiting area.


The Heavyarms pilot blinked, then said into the phone, "Sally,

just how long are this side-effects supposed to last? I see. Thank



"Well?" Quatre asked impatiently as Trowa hung up.


"She said that the side-effects should wear off fairly soon... no

more than a half hour or so."


Quatre looked at the closed door and muttered, "Poor Duo."

Relena, who missed most of the conversation involving Heero and

Duo, angrily shrieked, "What's going on!? How could you desert poor

Heero like that!? Who knows what that perverted beast will do to



Quatre lost his temper and said snappishly, "I'm not worried about

Heero! I'm more worried about he's doing to Duo!"


Through the door, everyone heard a loud thump and some scuffling

noises, followed by the sound of ripping fabric.


"You're WHAT!? You're worried about that monster!? I can't

believe it! Are you hopelessly stupid!? Don't you realize....



With a slight frown of irritation, Trowa stuffed the wad of

pantyhose back into the raving Relena's mouth, then pulled Quatre next

to him and patiently settled down to wait.


"I hope Duo knows what he's doing," Quatre said with a fretful



"His instincts with regard to Heero are usually excellent. And

it's rather unwise to get in Heero's way when he really wants

something," was Trowa's placid reply as he discretely cuddled the

blond pilot and ignored Relena's muffled rants.



AUTHOR'S NOTE: phencyclidine is the generic name for PCP (otherwise

known as angeldust). ^_^



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