You Made Me Cry
Dear Duo Maxwell,
You made me cry.
This morning when I woke up, I looked over to your bed, expecting to see you intricately woven into your maze of hair and sheets, blanket long been discarded onto the floor... and you weren't there. There was a nagging bite in the bottom of my stomach, and I had the feeling that I was forgetting something. Tiny pricks began to sting behind my eyes. I had never felt anything like it before. I disliked it.
At breakfast, I waited for you to come down the stairs crankily and wearily asking for your morning coffee, rubbing agitatedly at your eyes. You never came. I think Quatre was a little plagued by this. He looked sick. In fact, once I had made question as to where you were, even Wufei looked a little disturbed.
I worked all through lunch, repairing the massive damage to Wing from the previous heated battle. I thought I heard the hangar door open, and I expected you to come bounding up to me with food I never asked for and a song across your lips I had never heard. It was just Trowa. I went hungry.
When I was through with my Gundam, I went upstairs to type my mission log. For some reason, I accidentally typed your name eleven times. I know... I counted them. But you weren't there to look over my shoulder and annoyingly point out my flaw to me. You weren't there to wrap your arms around my neck nonchalantly and inquire as to when I would be finished. That irked me. I stared at the screen for exactly two hours, seventeen minutes, and thirty-four seconds willing the eleventh Duo to erase itself just by my mere mind power. It didn't change. I didn't change it. It still says "Duo".
I didn't come out of my room for dinner. I think Quatre knocked on the door once or twice asking if I was all right. I don't believe I ever answered him. He seems to be constantly watching over me lately, like a "mother hen". I don't really understand why. Quatre worries too much. You always seemed to stop him from doing that. I think you made him feel happier.
Right now I'm sitting on the window sill, watching the car pull out of the drive. Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre said they were going some where. They were all dressed in black, melting in with the darkness. Wufei inquired as to if I was attending or not. I honestly had no clue what he was talking about. I even went as far as to ask them. They told me where they were going to... I just can't seem to remember right now.
I'm writing this letter while star gazing. Star gazing... you tried sixteen times to get me to do this with you. Why didn't I? I don't even remember... but it feels right now. It's quiet since everyone's gone. Even quieter without you. My blasted laptop has been beeping for thirty-three minutes now. For some reason, I dare not answer it. I guess the stars seem more important to me at this moment. You always told me wonderful stories about the stars and the Heavens. I remember one in particular about two angels destined to be together but torn apart by mortal laws and wars. You always explained the stories like you were there... living them again... and again. Your eyes always looked a little sadder as you spoke of forbidden love and desire. I yearn for those stories. You thought I never listened. I heard every word. I want to hear them again now. Hmph, there's that burning sensation in my eyes again. For some reason, I can't seem to control it anymore.
You told me once angels couldn't die. So when are you coming back? I need to tell you...
...that you made me cry.
you know what? I hate deathfics... remind me why I even wrote this in the first place??? boredom and five free minutes I believe. Tell me, was it even worth it?
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