The Easter Bunny Episode
Lys ap Adin
Heero examined the cellophane-wrapped package warily. It didn't *seem* to be dangerous... In fact, it looked rather innocuous--just a figure of a perky rabbit wearing a bow tie and carrying a basket of eggs. It looked like--chocolate, even. "What... is it?"
Relena smiled at him broadly. "Why, Heero, haven't you ever had a chocolate Easter bunny before?"
Heero leveled a flat glance at her; one that clearly stated, "I am the Perfect Soldier and I do not have *time* for chocolate in any form, much less that of cute bunny rabbits anthropomorphized into adorable archetypes of ancient Christian holidays."
Or something like that.
Relena laughed gently. "Take it, Heero. It's just a gift, okay? Don't let the chocolate go to waste, hm?"
"...Ryoukai."
Heero set the chocolate bunny on the corner of his and Duo's dresser, shaking his head. "Hn. Foolishness." He grabbed his books and hurried off to class--another day, another school to infiltrate, another OZ base to destroy.
Absently, he wondered if maybe he wasn't falling into a routine... Maybe he'd vary his method this time, and infiltrate OZ and destroy the school.
Naw, it was too tempting. Heero dismissed the idea and quickened his pace, lest he be late for his two o'clock class--Horticulture for the Aspiring Landscape Design Artist.
Duo dropped his bookbag on his too-hard, school-issue, hell-regulation twin bed, and sighed. "Man, I *hate* that class," he muttered, in reference to his last class of the day, Sanskrit for the Phys Ed Major. He stretched, and caught sight of heaven--a chocolate bunny. Sitting in his room. Tempting him.
Duo looked to the heavens, silently thanking God for rewarding him for enduring Wufei's idea of "practical" classes. Then he smiled at the chocolate bunny. "Itadakimasu!"
*I will kill Wufei for this schedule,* Heero resolved, finally finished with his last class--the Symbolism of Avians in Jane Austen's Novels. *I don't know when... I don't know how... but he will DIE.*
He stopped short in the doorway of his and Duo's shared dorm room. His chocolate bunny--had been violated. Heero blinked. It wasn't even a proper bunny anymore. It looked more... more like a chocolate chipmunk.
Someone had devoured the bunny's ears.
Duo looked up from where he was sprawled across his bed, busily doing homework for his toughest class (Castratos in the Politics of the Thirteenth Century). "Konnichiwa, Heero!" he said absently.
"Duo. What. Happened. To. My. Bunny?" Heero tried desperately to maintain his calm... he was the Perfect Soldier, he didn't let his emotions get to him...
Duo grinned at him, violet eyes sparkling. "Oh... I had a taste of it--I was going through chocolate withdrawal, y'know?"
Heero's mouth opened and closed soundlessly a few times, as he tried to assimilate this knowledge. Duo had ravaged *his* chocolate bunny. Had gnawed *his* chocolate bunny's ears off. There was even a chocolate smear across the baka's perfect lower lip...
Duo frowned. "You all right, Heero? I would've asked, but--Eep!"
Books and papers went flying as Heero, determined to salvage as much of his bunny as possible, tackled his roommate, pinning the braided wonder beneath him. "That was *my* chocolate bunny," Heero growled.
Duo's eyes widened. "Gomen, Heero, if I had known, I wouldn't have--Mmmph!"
Heero covered Duo's mouth with his own, lapping at the chocolate film there. Duo made a few more muffled sounds, but even the most casual of observers would have been able to distinguish these as "Hey, remind me to eat Heero's chocolate bunnies more often" noises.
And the poor abused chocolate bunny watched with a scandalized expression as Heero claimed compensation for the lost ears.
~~Owari~~
Am I weird?
Yeah, I think so.
C&C, minna? Onegai?
Lys ap Adin
