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What the Hell!


Heero, aching, dirty, hungry, and exhausted after an intense firefight with OZ troops on his latest mission barely made it up the stairs to the Winner Estate.

[Why the hell does Quatre's place have so many stairs?]

He opened the door and with a sigh of exhaustion, dropped his duffel bag on the floor right inside the door. Normally, the Perfect Soldier would never do such a thing, preferring to make certain it was "stowed properly" in his room, but that meant dealing with yet *another* flight of stairs!

[No, no more stairs right now. I'll get something to eat first then go grab a shower and sleep. If I'm lucky, Duo's in town so I can get a couple hours of rest.]

On his way to the kitchen, however, he passed one of the seemingly countless halls in the place and heard some rather strange things---

"Oooohhh, Rasid!" Duo's voice moaned. "God! That feels *so* good!

A baritone chuckle followed that sensual pronouncement with, "I'm pleased to hear it, Master Duo. Now just relax and let me do all the work."

"Oh, no problemo, Rasid-my-man! I swear your hands are *incredible*!"

More inarticulate moaning followed, then a near shout, "Itai! That hurt! Be a little more gentle, wouldya'? I'm not used to this kind of treatment!"

Hearing *this* definitely aroused Heero's curiosity if nothing else. He decided to simply listen before jumping to hasty conclusions about just what exactly the large Arab was doing to *his* lover that elicited sounds he thought were reserved for his ears only in the bedroom!

"Ah, so sorry, Master Duo. But the oil makes it a bit hard to hold on very well for this." The baritone voice sounded only somewhat contrite.

"Don't worry about it, R-man," Duo practically purred. "The oil's heavenly! Just don't stop what you're doing, it feels so good!"

[Duo? With *Rasid*?! And oil making it hard to "hold on"?! What the Hell?!?]

Heero started angrily towards the source of the sounds then heard something that stopped him dead in his tracks.

"If you'd like this to go further, Master Duo, I'll need to remove the towel."

"Go ahead, R! There's nothing under there you haven't seen already."

"Hm. True, I just felt I should ask first."

"No, no! This feels so good, just go all out, okay?"

"Certainly." The Maganac Commander sounded just a little *too* pleased to do so, for Heero's tastes.

"Ow!" The wince that accompanied the interjection could be heard in the boy's voice. "I hate to complain or anything, but could you use a little more oil? It's getting a bit dry down there. Ooooooh! <GROANING> That's better! Ah, yeah---"

"Ah! Oh! Wow! I don't think my ass *ever* felt this good before!"

Chuckle, "Well, I thought you would enjoy it. Master Quatre certainly does."

"'Enjoy'? Try *love* it! This is just so incredible! Ahhhhhhh--- Oh yeah, that's good!" Duo was panting like a dog in heat.

"Rasid, you are phenomenal! I guess what they say about large hands really is true!"

"Please, Master Duo, you are embarrassing me!"

[Damnit, he doesn't sound embarrassed to me! What the *hell* is going on in there?!?]

"No way! You are truly *gifted*! Don't be embarrassed about it!"

Duo's moans were getting louder and louder, making Heero's ears, and other body parts, turn red just listening to this exchange.

"After all, I'm only doing this to help take your mind off Master Heero."

"Oh, yeah. Almost *did* forget about him! Damn, he better be okay when he gets back because I want you to teach *him* some of this stuff! He's never given it to me *this* good before!"

[NANI?!? Omae o korosu!!!]

"Perhaps he would enjoy this as well?" Rasid inquired.

"Nah, I don't think Heero goes in for stuff like this, at least not with anyone besides me."

An inarticulate groan of pleasure echoed through the hall.

Barely able to catch a breath, Duo mumbled, "Oh, Rasid! Whatever you do don't stop! Ah! Oh! Ah! This is *too* good!!!"

Heero had heard enough! He rounded the corner into the room, demanding "What the Hell is going on?"

Then, he froze again, completely shocked and more than a little taken aback. There, laying totally nude, chestnut hair falling down loose like a rippling waterfall, his back covered with a thin sheen of some aromatic oil was his lover, moaning under the hands of another man! He had no idea he could feel jealousy until now.

Two heads suddenly turned his way, with no signs of regret or apology on either face.

"Oi! Heero!" Duo chirped merrily. "I'm so glad you're back! Are you okay? You look beat, koi! You should spend some time with good old Rasid like I am and you'll feel better in no time!"

"Yes, Master Heero," the large man added. "If that would help you as well, I'll be glad to do so."

"Oh, yeah, man! Rasid here has the *best* hands I've ever felt!" Duo added enthusiastically.

[Better than *mine*?!? Enough!!!]

Heero marched into the room and did the only appropriate thing under the circumstances.

"EEEEEPPPP!" Duo, well, um, 'eep'ed (you figure a better way to spell it, no da!) A strong hand had his hair in a vise grip, yanking Duo straight out of the room without even letting him grab his towel.

"Excuse us, Rasid, I need to speak with Duo alone." Heero hauled his naked, oily, and extremely relaxed lover up the stairs to their room and practically threw him on the bed.

"Now, wait a minute, Hee-chan," Duo spoke quickly trying to gauge whether he saw anger or lust in his lover's eyes. He hoped it was the second since the first usually ended badly for him.

"Hn." Heero was stripping his own filthy clothes off then practically attacked Duo who was so slippery, he almost oozed off the bed.

"Duo," his eyes flashed. "I am tired, hungry, and exhausted from a mission. Yet when I walk in the door *that* conversation you were having with Rasid made me decide I needed something else more than food or sleep."

"Um," Duo was now *very* nervous; those eyes practically screamed 'I will make you suffer for what you did!'. "Heero, don't do anything rash---"

"Don't worry, Duo," Heero smirked evilly. "I'm just going to finish what Rasid started, that's all."

"Oh," Duo sighed in relief. "You're going to finish my massage?"

"No. I'm just going to take up where the conversation seemed to be headed and finish *that*!"

The gleam in his eyes was very intense now.

{Oh, good!} thought Duo. {He's not going to hurt me, well, maybe not too much, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts!}

And it lasted all afternoon.



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