Site hosted by Build your free website today!

Chance (part 1)



Five years. Heero stepped off the shuttle and looked around, his prussian eyes open in a look of sorrow and remembrance. You'd think that after five years things would change. People had, circumstances had, but some things never did. There were always absolutions. Returning here just happened to be one of them. People seemed to still pass him without seeing, their feet more appealing to their eyes than his handsome and matured face. They never noticed him. In all of five years, not once had he seen a friendly or familiar face in this crowd of people who walked by the shuttle station every day. He was still and would always be invisible to them. They didn't want to see him and things would go on that way for the next five years as well. It didn't bother him, though. I hadn't ever really. It was just something to think about. It was better than remembering at least. Perhaps the most painful absolution was the one that had brought him here in the first place. The ultimate absolution. Death. It wasn't exactly depressing to remember those last few weeks in the house on the hill, the five ex-gundam pilots reminiscing and catching up in the quite quarters. Not depressing. Painful. They had all wasted five years together, the five years between the end of the war and Duo's death. Five years they could never get back. Heero hadn't brought with him a bag. He never needed one when he came back to this colony. Everything he needed was waiting for him in Duo's house. All he needed to do was to get there. It was mid-day and despite the climate control, the air and atmosphere was humid and dry. Too many people crowded around in the station. Heero quickly walked outside and into the busy streets, thankful but not too greatly relieved. It was just as damn uncomfortable out there as it was indoors. He thought about calling a cab but the thought passed over his mind and left as quickly as it had come. In five years he had not once gotten a ride to the house and he wasn't about to break the tradition. Walking there was as much a part of this as anything. Heero's legs felt cramped from the long space journey anyway. He could use a good walk to work out the tension in his calves. The streets were just as prone to consistency as everything else. One would think the scenery would change a bit.

Five years. It can't have really been that long. Can it? Why does it still hurt so much to think about it?

His hand moved unconsciously to the gold cross that hung from his neck, his fingers rubbing the smooth metal. Duo had given it to him as he lay dying, wanting to give it to him to be remembered by. Heero's grip tightened around the cold object. Duo had know he had loved him when he had died but not for very long. He'd told him that night and he'd died the next morning speaking of a promise never forgotten and a dream that still exists If I had known he felt the same way, maybe we could have been together longer. We wasted five whole years. Five years we could have spent together. Damnit. No regrets right? So why do I feel like this? It's not like there is anything I can do about it. I can't change the past so why do I lie awake at night wishing for it. Why do I not loose hope?

Once again it seemed his thoughts had taken him out of reality. It wasn't till his feet landed on the grassy knoll of the hill that Heero realized where he was. He looked up to the top and sighed at the house that sat there only thirty feet away. He hadn't even realized he'd walked that far. Heero trudged up the hill in silence, not even his thoughts bother to question him. Heero searched his pockets for the key and was rewarded with a soft clink as it jangled against the loose change in his pant's pocket. He pulled it out and unlocked the door with it before stashing it back for safekeeping. His fingers tightened around the knob of the door and he turned it. The door opened soundlessly, admitting him easily. Empty. Empty and.. dark. He tried to flip on the light switch but it refused his orders, stubbornly staying dead and unwilling to uplift the darkness. Heero tried it again and again till he resorted to cursing at it. How that was supposed to aid in illuminating the room was unknown but it made him feel better just having them said. The bulbs weren't broken which left only one thing. Quatre had forgotten to pay the electric bill on the house. Despite no one living in it, the colonies industrial cooperation insisted a bill be paid on the utilities of the house. Quatre had agreed to take it upon himself and pay the meager fee but it seemed, as the lights protested, that he had forgotten to do so this year.

I'm going to need to go into town tomorrow for more than groceries it seems. Damnit. Blondie couldn't get his attention turned away from Trowa long enough to pay the damn bill. Now I'm stuck with it. Arigato, baka. Both you and your lover.

Heero brushed his bangs out of his eyes and sighed. It probably wasn't their fault. Knowing the colonies, and this one in particular, they probably just forgot to turn the utilities on for this week. Maybe he resented the fact that Trowa and Quatre had each other. Heero didn't mean to say such hateful things but seeing them together was a constant reminder of what he would never have. Not ever again. They sensed it. Quatre did at least. Heero had noted the last time they had all met together the amount of time he had seen the two of them acting no more friendly to each other than to anyone else in the room. It was nice of them but they didn't need to act differently in his presence. Heero walked over to the couch and sat down, an eruption of dust throwing him into a sneezing fit. When at last both the dust and his sneezes had settled down, he laid back and stared at the painted ceiling.

Quatre and Trowa. Hm. Five years and still going strong. Would we have made it this long, Duo? We'll never have a chance to see will we. Not in this life time.

He closed his eyes and relaxed, blocking out the needless remarks his mind brought forth. His hand once again reached for the cross he wore and a small smile crept upon his face.

I wish it would rain today. It hasn't rained for our reunion in the past years. I wish it would this time. It would be nice to play in the rain like we did so long ago.

~Duo, what makes this… fun?"~

~I don't know. It just is. It's different and rare and at the same time beautiful. Ya can't help but enjoy it. I can tell ya one thing thought, having someone around makes things a lot more fun."~

It wasn't just that there was someone else around. It was that that someone was you. Am I crazy to think you can hear my thoughts? Does being here really make you seem less dead? You'd think it was the other way around. This is your house and these are your things. The most important thing about all of them is gone though. You. Wouldn't the emptiness tell me this? Wouldn't your, _your_, cross around my throat remind me you can no longer wear it? It doesn't. I still feel your presence, more here than anywhere else. You never left. I can still feel your love in this house. That's how I know you can see me, why I believe you can hear me. You're still here. Your laugher and smile are etched into the woodwork.

Heero smiled again, more genuine this time, the sudden craving for a hot mug of hot chocolate nipping at his stomach. He didn't have any in the house that he would remember. Even if there were, he wouldn't drink it. Not after a year of being stored away. Who knew what would be growing in it. The thought of it sent a chill up his spine. No way. He'd buy some tomorrow after he get the electricity and what not working again. In the mean time, Heero decided to find some candles or a flashlight at the very least. He headed for the closet and opened it up. The hallway had no window and was most likely the darkest part of the house. Great. Wonderful. Heero hit his head seven times before giving up and grabbing the closest box and taking in to the window seat in the front room. It wasn't marked and looked old and extremely dusty. Heero took a deep breath and blew off the top most layer of dust before opening it up. There were neither candles inside nor a flashlight. Under the lid of the box was written "Keep Sake" in Duo's trademark lettering. Heero bit his lip. Duo hadn't mentioned he'd had a keep sake box. Though he fit the profile of a pack rat, Heero had never really expected to find something like this in his possession. Feeling slightly guilty, he began to rummage through the contents.

A journal?

Heero picked up the black book and frowned. He'd never seen it before. Where the hell had Duo been hiding it? He put it on the seat beside him. He'd consider reading it later. Next was a box of nick-knacks it seemed he'd picked up from here and there. There was a bolt labeled "Deathscythe" and a chip of paint with "Wing Gundam" written on the bag. Heero chuckled lightly. What had possessed the guy to collect these things? They were so… pointless. The most puzzling of all was a large brass nail that had to be at least eight inches long and one inch thick. Duo had collected many odd things. Finally, Heero came across something rather, and quite startlingly, familiar.

"Hey, my satellite phone. What's it doing here?"

Heero pulled out the hand held devise and turned it over in his hand. It was in near perfect condition. Probably still worked as well.

"How did you get this, Duo?" he asked no one.

Baka. You gave it to him after your last mission cause you thought you broke it and he wanted to try to fix it. Heero shook his head and turned it on. The lights came to life immediately. Guess he really did it. Hm.

Heero adjusted the settings on the phone and placed it to his ear, "Hello, anyone there?" he asked. No one used one of these anymore. They were outdated really, even in his time, but it was entertaining for the moment and a distraction at best. Who knew, maybe some war veteran out there was checking out his old equipment at the moment and they could swap stories. It would pass time at least. Quatre, Trowa and Wufei weren't due in for another couple of days. Sometimes, even Heero Yuy could find loneliness in the silence.. "Hello?" he repeated, praying for a response.

Nothing but static answered those prayers. Then suddenly;

<"What do you want? How did you get this frequency?">

Heero was shocked to say the least but pleasantly shocked. A thin smile crawled across his features and touched even his voice, "Excuse me. I didn't realize this was a private line. I was just looking for someone to talk to."

<"It's not but I'd still like to know who the hell's calling me. Do you work for Dr. J?">

Heero inhaled quickly, unable to think for a moment, "How do you know about Dr. J?"

There was no answer on the other line for a while, <"So, you are from him. What's this about. A new mission?">

Heero was about to respond but stopped suddenly. He could hear a voice in the background of the other line, a hauntingly jaunt and joyful voice that seemed to sweep threw the receiver like music.

<"K'so! Not another mission! We nearly got killed last night and I'd like time to heal before I go out risking my ass again. Tell whoever it is that we're not interested!">

Heero couldn't breath. He knew that voice, or rather had known the only boy such a voice could come from. His grip around the phone tightened and unshed tears gathered beneath defying eyes.


Return to Reiko-chan's Dirty Books