- *song by Depeche Mode
- [words like violence
break the silence]
Hee~eero~ooo!!!!!!!" The shrill sound of Relena Peacecraft’s voice
grated on his nerves.
- Duo smirked at him
and Heero almost growled at the other pilot, but Relena caught up to them
just then. The Japanese boy gave her a look that bordered on the incredulous
as she latched onto his arm like a squid. The blonde raised her eyes to his
with a look of blind obsession - er, adoration.
- "I found
you!" she cooed, trying to cuddle.
- Duo’s eyes were
sparkling with mischievous glee and he was snickering. Heero fought off the
almost overpowering urge to flick him off. It would not be behavior
appropriate to the Perfect Soldier. But it was tempting...
- Relena finding him at
/any/ time was annoying, but it was particularly infuriating at this one. He
and Duo had been sitting on the seashore, watching the sunset. The American
had actually been quiet for once, spellbound by the natural spectacle in
front of him. So Heero had been indulging in his favorite hobby -
- It was something that
he could do only when the violet-eyed boy was oblivious due to being
otherwise occupied. Heero had a special place in his memory banks just for
memories of Duo. Not that he would ever tell the braided maniac that he
liked to watch him...
- And this had been a
wonderful session of his almost obsessive past-time. Duo had been sitting
there with his knees drawn up to his chest wearing a loose linen shirt that
was partially unbuttoned and the most skin-tight pair of cutoffs that Heero
had ever seen. As delicious as this sight was, what Heero treasured most was
the expression on Shinigami’s face.
- Duo had been staring
out to sea at the postcard worthy sunset with a wonderment much like that of
a small child. The light from the setting sun painted his face with a rosy
glow and his eyes had been wide and bright, clearly mesmerized. The illusion
of child-like innocence was broken, however, by the moistly parted lips that
just seemed to beg to be kissed. It had taken much of Heero’s vaunted
self-control not to take them up on their offer.
[come crashing in
into my little world]
- Heero would have been
more than content to just sit there and watch Duo for hours on end, but
Relena had pretty much shot down /that/ plan... The sound he made sounded
much more like a sigh of long suffering than the snort of exasperation he
meant it to be. This did not go by unnoticed by Duo.
The beach is sooooo romantic...." Relena fluttered her eyelashes at
- ‘I know...why
do think I brought Duo here...’ Heero sighed again for the lost
quality time with his partner. Duo looked to be fighting off the urge to gag
at the sugary dreamy tone of her voice.
[painful to me
hits right through me]
- He felt the loss of
his quiet time with Duo almost as a physical pain. It was the closest he
would ever get to the beautiful boy that haunted his dreams.
- He enjoyed these
special times when he could just watch the other pilot without worrying
about what anyone thought or the war or anything at all except how much he
- Not that Duo knew
[can’t you understand
oh my little girl]
- He rubbed his hand
across his forehead tiredly, just wishing that Relena would shut up. It
wouldn’t be so bad if her voice was at least pleasant to listen to, like
Duo’s... He sighed again and shrugged her off his arm, stopping her
mid-sentence as she realized that he hadn’t been listening to a thing
- "Look, Relena, I
- we - have important business to take care of. Go home." He said this
while looking her straight in the eyes with the best ‘get-lost’ glare
that he could muster at the moment.
- He hoped that she
took the clue. However, this was Relena so he didn’t exactly have high
hopes. He was very surprised when she sighed and slumped her shoulders.
Heero....until I see you again!" And with that she ran off.
- Heero looked at Duo,
who was looking at him with the same confusion that he felt. He shrugged and
the other boy grinned, sitting back down so as not to miss the last vestiges
of the sunset. Heero smiled and settled down next to him, fully looking
forward to another hour or so of Duo-watching. Duo would also want to watch
moonrise and the emergence of the first stars of the evening.
[all I ever wanted
all I ever needed
is here in my arms]
- Heero noticed that
Duo had started to shiver slightly, the night was growing chill and neither
had brought a jacket. He wasn’t bothered by the cold, but he knew that Duo
tended to feel it more than most and tried to figure out a way to keep the
American warm. His mind hit upon the simplest and most daring solution,
which was to move closer to Duo and keep him warm with his own body heat.
- As he moved slowly
over to the other boy, Heero also noticed that Duo’s body gravitated
towards the heat source nearing it. Once he was next to the braided pilot,
Duo unconsciously leaned against him, the shivering lessening by a
significant amount. The Perfect Soldier gnawed his lip a little while
deciding what to do next, then put his arm around the pilot of Shinigami.
Duo didn’t push him away, in fact, he almost seemed to cuddle up closer.
- The look on Heero’s
face could definitely be likened to a cat that not only had gotten the
canary and several bowls of cream, but had also managed to decimate a catnip
field in the meantime.
[words are very
they can only do harm]
- Heero felt the urge
to tell Duo how he felt, but repressed it. Words could only shatter this
precious bubble that he was living in at the moment. Duo’s eyes were
falling half shut and Heero had the feeling that he would probably have to
carry the boy back to their current hideaway. Not necessarily an unpleasant
prospect. He grinned and held Duo a little more tightly.
- Within another half
hour, the braided boy was asleep. Heero sighed happily, feeling like a girl
in a shoujo romance, and picked him up to take him home.
[vows are spoken
to be broken]
- The trip home had
been uneventful, though managing the doors while burdened with a sleeping
body in his arms was interesting. Their current hideaway was a small
apartment that consisted of one bedroom, a bathroom, and a kitchen. He and
Duo were sharing the single small bed, which was both a torture and a
paradise to Heero.
- He sighed and set the
braided boy down on the bed, stripping off the linen shirt. Duo opened his
eyes and blinked kittenishly, then, seeing that it was Heero, smiled before
falling back into a deep sleep. Heero remembered Quatre confronting him
about it once, Duo’s obvious trust in him and his, much to his chagrin at
the time, obvious affection for the other pilot.
you and Duo...um...well..." Here the blonde boy had unaccountably
- Heero blinked.
"What? Are Duo and I what?"
- Quatre’s blush had
deepened slightly. "Are you....involved?" he managed to squeak out
around his embarrassment.
- Heero blinked again.
"Why would you think that?" he asked, trying to keep himself from
blushing. ‘No...we’re not involved...I just wish we were...’
lets you closer than anyone else and you seem to take such good care of
- "No, we’re not
- Quatre’s eyes
widened and he looked slightly surprised, almost shocked. "Why
haven’t you told him?"
- Heero’s narrowed.
"Why haven’t I told him what?"
- Quatre gulped a
little at the tone of his voice. "Well....it’s obvious that you love
him. My uchuu no kokoro tells me and what I see only confirms it."
- Heero sat there,
stunned. Quatre smiled and got up, walking towards the door. Just before
leaving, he paused, one hand on the frame.
- "You should tell
- Heero looked at his
best friend and beloved. He knew why he’d never told Duo how he felt.
- Part of it was
cowardice, yes. He was afraid to lose Duo’s friendship and he was afraid
to enter into something that he had no experience and only theoretical
knowledge of. But part of it was also for Duo’s sake. He didn’t want to
promise something he wasn’t sure either of them could keep. He couldn’t
promise Duo that he would be with him forever or accept a promise of that
nature, not with the war going on. It was a promise that would almost
certainly be broken due to one of their deaths. Duo always kept promises and
regarded them as sacred trusts. He would have been hell itself on Heero
should he break a promise, especially one so important as that.
[feelings are intense
words are trivial]
- There were other
reasons, though. One of them was the fact that he wasn’t sure if he could
tell Duo how he felt without sounding like a complete idiot. The feelings
were just so intense and immeasurable that it seemed silly to try to explain
them in a few words, or even a lot of words. There could never /be/ words to
describe the depth of love he felt for the braided pilot.
- So it was easier to
not try to explain at all, just feel.
so does the pain]
- But there were little
pleasures that he could treasure without telling Duo. One of the most
important was the evidence of trust in him. The other was due to the fact
that the bed was small and Duo was a snuggler in his sleep. Somehow it
wasn’t much of a surprise to the Wing pilot. It had, however, scared the
crap out of him the first time it happened.
- Late at night, Duo
would curl up against him, almost making Heero his human teddy bear. It was
pure bliss just to hold him like that and...it was pure torture just to hold
him like that... Mixed blessing indeed. On the one hand, he could hold Duo
and breathe in his scent, gently stroking the chestnut hair and lines of his
back. On the other, it was just so hard not to greet the violet-eyed snuggle
bunny with a kiss in the morning when he looked at Heero with that innocent
kittenish blink and yawn and that pure, sweet smile.
- It was such sweet
[words are meaningless
- He lay down on his
back next to his sleeping partner and sighed again as Duo snuggled against
his side, curling one hand in Heero’s hair, the arm laying across his
chest, and the other hand tucked under Heero’s shoulder. One leg was flung
over the Japanese boy’s thighs. Heero wriggled around a little until he
could slide one arm under Duo and curl it around his waist, holding him
closer. Duo made a sleepy little snuggly sound and tucked his head even
closer to him, ending with the American almost nuzzling Heero’s neck.
- Heero groaned
silently...this was /not/ gonna help his dreams stay G-rated...
- He looked down at the
slumbering face of his beloved friend and couldn’t stop the words...after
all, Duo was asleep, he wouldn’t hear them.
- "Ai shiteru..."
Duo stirred in his sleep and Heero held his breath.
- Oh well....even if
Duo was awake enough to hear the slip, in the morning it would have been
[all I ever wanted
all I ever needed
is here in my arms]
- Heero lay there,
falling asleep, but conscious of a feeling of great contentment. These were
moments that he treasured even more than any others. It was so close to what
he ultimately wanted...
- He knew that if he
told Duo and the other boy felt the same, he could have this feeling every
night instead of just when they had a hideaway together like this. Those
thoughts almost made him wake Duo up to tell him everything...
[words are very
they can only do harm]
- But that would spoil
the peace and serenity...and if Duo didn’t feel the same, it would spoil
any future chances of moments like this ever happening again.
- So he let Duo
sleep...and slipped into dreams where there was no war, only him and a
beautiful violet-eyed boy with a long chestnut braid.
- They never had to
fight and days were spent in walks through gardens and parks, where they
watched the sunset every day and stayed there until after moonrise. The
nights would be spent curled up close or making love...and they would never
be apart for any reason. Their friends would all be happy and the only
emotions they would feel were love and joy...and no words would ever be
needed, they would just know.
to Reiko-chan's Dirty Books