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Don't Cry (part 1)

Tzigane


Don't Cry

      "Don't you cry tonight/I still love you, baby/Don't you cry
       tonight/Don't you cry tonight/There's a heaven above you, baby/
       Don't you cry tonight...you'll be all right now, sugar/You'll
       feel better tomorrow, come the morning light..." GnR, 'Don't Cry'

* * * * *

        Duo huddled into a ball, his entire body aching. Sweet Jesus, you'd
think they'd at least have a *little* sympathy for a boy for Christ's sake.
It wasn't like he was anywhere nearly as big as any of them, he sulked to
himself. It wasn't as if he could protect himself with his hands manacled
and three of them holding him while two kicked at him. Shit.

        With a sigh, he closed his eyes. Eh. Looked like Heero wasn't going
to come this time. Maybe he'd really even die, who knew? Heero... The
thought of that face, those gun metal blue eyes, brought tears to the
surface and made him sniffle recklessly. He didn't even know how Heero felt
about him, only that he loved Heero with every ounce of his being. That he
wanted nothing more than to see Heero safe and all of them out of this war
that seemed so hopeless

        Duo gave a deep cough, his chest beginning to ache from this cold
damp cell. Damn. If they didn't kill him with the beatings, he'd die
shortly from pneumonia or some other stupid respiratory disease. K'so.

        He wanted to see Heero smile.

        The door to Duo's cell slid open and through swollen tear-dim eyes
he could see a slim shadow outlined by the bright light shining through. He
didn't rise nor did he look towards that bright light directly. "Come with
me," announced the low voice, pulling at his manacled wrists and dragging
him up. From behind came a white blindfold to cover his eyes and keep him
from seeing what was happening. God, it hurt to move, much less walk. Much
less care where he was going or who was taking him there.

        It hurt.

* * * * *

        Heero pushed Duo in front of him, his face grimly set. He was fully
aware of what they were going to do to him, how they were going to try to
torture him. He didn't want to be a part of it, stars knew, but it wasn't
as though there was going to be much choice, was there? It was him or
someone else and it was best that it was him. He, at least, could take care
of Duo if it looked as if he was going to break. Neither he nor the other
three Gundam pilots could afford to have Duo spilling the beans, now could
they?

        He saluted the men outside of the room that was their destination
and shoved Duo roughly inside, following him to see the other boy stumble
and fall to his knees, his manacled hands barely coming up in time to save
his poor bruised face from being smashed into the floor.

        "Ahh, arigatou, Sanzenin-san," Lady Une murmured from the
observation booth above. "You've done your duty well thus far. I assume
that you will continue to do so. Proceed."

        Heero gritted his teeth. You couldn't tell who was up there, who
was watching this, and God he hated so bad to have to do it. Leaning down,
he grabbed Duo's braid tightly into his fist, listening to the other boy's
deep moan as his head slammed back and his upper body was brought up from
the floor. He caught Duo's throat and began to strip away the two shirts he
always wore, jerking him up and shoving him face down onto the table that
had been prepared for him. He felt a peculiar hitch in his chest as he saw
the bruises and scrapes across his back and chest and ribs, deep purple
blossoms in places.

        Duo jerked as the leather straps were pulled tight across his
wrists and elbows, across the back of his neck to keep his face down. Heero
could feel the frantic trembling but it was not visible. Duo was very good
at hiding his sudden intense fear even as Heero began stripping away the
black pants, his face an enigma.

* * * * *

        "Really, Lady," Treize murmured softly. "Is this not uncalled for?
And rather... crude?"

        Lady Une turned brilliant eyes to Treize. "We've been trying to
crack him for two weeks now. We MUST have the information this young man
holds and I have exhausted all other methods. I feel that there is no other
course than this, Treize-sama!"

        Treize turned his eyes back to the room below. He was glad there
was no one here to witness the pilot's humiliation aside from himself and
Une. It did not seem honorable to do this to someone who could fight so
hard. Still, if it was a necessity...

        With a sigh, Treize began to pay close attention.

* * * * *

        He was on his knees and he could feel the straps holding his ankles
and knees down and spread widely apart. His shoulders were pressed to the
metal table and his ass was waving in the air. The mere thought of it made
him grind his teeth together. It didn't matter what they did to him! They
could never make him surrender. He would NOT tell them anything about Heero
or the others!

        Heero inconspicuously rubbed the small of Duo's back, his mouth set
in a firm twist even as he shoved two fingers deep inside of Duo's bottom,
stretching him, listening for the barely heard hiss of air that leaked out
from Duo's chest. If Heero had not been the perfect soldier, he could not
have even begun to do this to the young man who meant so much to him, too
much. The thought of it made him almost angry. He should not love this
beautiful boy with his indigo violet eyes and long dark hair! It should not
hurt him to be doing this thing!

        With a helpless growl, Heero jerked his fingers away and moved his
hands to the white pants of his uniform. With quick fingers, he twisted
them loose and crawled onto the waist high table to kneel between Duo's
open thighs, poised momentarily outside of him. There was no sound from
inside the observation booth and so, with closed eyes, he drove his thick
shaft past the resistance of Duo's anus, expecting to hear a cry of anguish
at any moment.

        None came. Indeed, it seemed as though Duo had not registered the
treatment at all, or as if he was... accustomed to it. That thought sent
shivers of pure fear down Heero's spine. Surely the soldiers who kept the
prisoners hadn't...? He wouldn't think about that now. Not now. Not when he
was inside Duo and doing this wicked painful thing, even though he didn't
want to, even though he l... cared about what happened to him.

        Heero leaned over Duo's back, thrusting steadily, his face pressed
to the center of his back. He could hear liquid hitching sorts of breaths
there, sobs that he would not let go, and underneath that the steady
whimper of, "heero heero heero," that no one else would have been able to
hear. His heart wrung itself inside out and he ground his teeth together,
trying not to hurt Duo too badly even though his orders had been to...

        "That's enough, Sanzenin-san. Thank you," a voice interrupted him.
It sounded like... like Khushrenada. With care, he slid out of Duo, wincing
as he saw the streaks of blood on his shaft. Fuck. He rebuttoned the white
slacks, careful not to get any of the blood on him and stepped back. With a
careful bow towards the observation booth, he knelt to pick up Duo's
clothes. "That will be all," came the hollow voice.

        With a blank face, he turned away and left the room.

* * * * *

        "Lady, your tactics have not worked," Treize spoke softly.

        "I had thought it would."

        "Hm. Perhaps, were it someone else. Not these pilots, however. I
feel that they know more about suffering than other prisoners might. They
are but children and yet..."

        "And yet."

        Treize sighed. "Help me get him loose and at least replace part of
his clothing."

        "Yes, Treize-sama."

* * * * *

        He could hear them, but not see them. Three? No. Maybe four. So
many people to be taking one boy back to that dank little cell, he thought,
wanting to laugh hysterically, but somehow, he didn't have the energy. He
just didn't.

        When he hit the floor, he could swear that he'd bounced. Duo curled
in a ball, the manacles making his wrists ache fiercely. It was cold, so
cold, and he wanted to die. He was glad that the soldier who'd... who'd
taken what he was saving for Heero had been somewhat gentle. More so than
he'd have expected, at any rate. His soft sobs began to echo through the
tiny room mixed with thick racking coughs. It wasn't FAIR! Not that
anything in this bloody war had been fair, but that particular tactic had
been truly dirty. His entire body ached now, from head to toe; not just
from the beatings the other soldiers had made sure were administered every
two hours, on the hour, not just... not just from what had happened, but
deep inside of him where his heart was. {Oh, God,} he thought, choking on
another cough, {please just let me die now...}

        It was a long time before he finally cried himself to sleep.

* * * * *

        Heero dragged the dead soldier into a small room and locked the
door on his way into the corridor. Another twenty feet and he'd have Duo
and they could get out. With that resolution in mind, he slipped down the
hallway in the few shadows until he came to the door at which he'd gotten
Duo earlier. Punching in the code, he raised his silencer-equipped gun and
looked around slowly.

        There. In the corner. He could see Duo wrapped in a ball, shivering
violently, still in nothing but those black pants, the shirts thrown near
him as though the soldiers who'd brought him back didn't care if the cold
and damp in this room seeped into him, killed him.

        {Stupid bastards,} Heero thought coldly. {You can't get information
out of a dead man.} Not that they could get information out of this boy,
either. He had withstood even what Heero had done to him hours ago so
surely he could withstand anything else they could throw at him.

        With that thought, Heero knelt down and shook him. "Duo," he hissed
softly, "get up!"

        No answer came and he turned Duo over to see the white blindfold
still on and, as his fingers brushed against it, soaking wet with... what?
Tears? Heero's eyes widened involuntarily as he brushed the blindfold away
and shook Duo harder. "Get up!!" he hissed, his mouth resolutely set into a
frown.

        Duo opened tear-swollen violet eyes to glance up at him with a look
bright with fever. "Leave me," he croaked out. "Or please kill me. Get this
over with."

        "Baka," Heero spat out. "I'm not leaving you. Come on."

        "I can't," Duo whispered back and Heero saw those eyes close again.
"I think.. I think my ribs are broken.. and.. and maybe some other stuff."
He choked on a cough full of liquid congestion. "I'm not Heero Yuy. I am
not the perfect soldier." He grimaced slightly. "Kill me and get it over
with."

        Heero shook him once more. "Don't be an idiot," he snapped out as
he raised Duo over his shoulders with little difficulty. He could tell that
he'd lost weight in the past few days; not a good thing for someone who was
already too slender anyway. "I'll carry you out if that's what it takes."

        "Heero," Duo murmured in surprise and then he slipped into gray
unconsciousness.

        {Probably better that way,} Heero thought grimly, his lips twisting
into a firm grimace. Chances of them getting out of here alive with him
toting Duo instead of both of them running were pretty damned slim. But
then, wasn't that no more than what he deserved for what he'd done to Duo?
And at least Duo wouldn't be awake to realize that he was going to die...

        That decision made, Heero marched forward firmly. Time to get out
of here.

* * * * *

        Treize watched on the monitors as the young "soldier" they'd had
rape the Gundam pilot the night before began carrying him out of the cell
area. He began rearranging troops every time the two boys came near them.
This was no way to win a war and what he'd witnessed last night had
disgusted him to the very core. Lady Une was most probably right and he
knew that she was only trying to do what was best. Still, what had been
done to that boy was too horrible a thing. It was not a tactic which would
be used again.

        Besides, the other boy had shown him how easy it could be to
infiltrate this organization. That could be useful to him in the future.

        Treize sighed as he watched them go, the one draped over the
other's shoulders. Well. At least it had been his friend who had done it
and not a stranger. He was rather glad for that, for the boy's sake. He
wondered if the other boy would ever tell him. He hoped so. Perhaps that
knowledge would make it easier to live with what had been done.

        With a dark sigh, he turned away and left to go back to his own
quarters.

* * * * *

        Heero finished pulling one of his tanks over Duo's head then laid
Duo on the bed carefully and ran to the kitchen to search out ice. They'd
been lucky enough to get out without anyone realizing they were gone until
it was too late, the stupid bastards, but now he was afraid that he was
going to lose him to the fever that was burning him up from the inside out.
Heero groaned. Damn, damn, damn, why now?? When they needed to be getting
away?

        Gathering all of the ice trays in the kitchen of the tiny place
he'd managed to rent with money he'd stolen a couple of days ago, he
hurried to the bathroom to turn on the cold water and began dumping the ice
into the water. The tub was almost full enough so he turned it off and went
back to the bedroom. "Duo?" he asked softly, "You have to get up now. Come
on. Help me!"

        He knew it was pretty useless to speak to the other boy. Duo had
been rambling on the way here, muttering things that hurt Heero's heart, a
heart to which he'd never paid a great deal of attention before this
beautiful idiot who talked all the time.

        "Heero no baka," Duo mumbled. "Stupid Relena-girl. Don't want to
see them, don't make me, he doesn't love her, he wouldn't!"

        Sweet Jesus. That hurt worst of all, to think that Duo could not
tell that he was enraptured with him. Of course, thinking about it, he
hadn't really ever let Duo know, had he? Just threatened him and run away
from him and led him on a merry chase.

        Heero picked Duo up from the bed sheets and staggered over to the
bathroom. God, he was so tired, and there was no way he'd be getting sleep
anytime soon with Duo this sick. He was sure that his temperature had to be
reaching the dangerous point. He didn't even bother to take off the t-shirt
and boxers he'd put on the braided boy when they got here, just slid him
into the water.

        Duo struggled and opened his eyes, beginning to cry, even though
boys didn't cry. "Heero," he whimpered, feeling weaker than a kitten,
"Heero, it's cold! Heero, stop!"

        Heero began to drag huge spongefuls of water up to his face, neck,
shoulders. "You have to let me do this," he told Duo sternly. "You can't
die on me! Not yet!"

        Duo sobbed fitfully, shivering. Cold, so cold, so cold. "I never
told you I loved you. I never said I loved you. And now look at this mess!"
He seemed to be referring to himself.

        Heero would have slapped him had he not been so sick and if he
wasn't so scared that he would die. "Shut up talking that way. I know you
love me. What do I look like?" His voice was rough.

        "Relena..." Duo whimpered. He was barely coherent. "And that
soldier. I didn't want to, Heero, I didn't want to, it hurt, I didn't want
to!"

        Heero groaned. God, now he wanted to die, too. "It doesn't matter.
We'll talk about that when you're better. It doesn't matter. I love you no
matter what Relena says and no matter what somebody, even me, might have
done to you, all right? But I can't let you know how much if you don't get
well!" His Perfect Soldier mask was crumbling. There was too much
desperation, too much fear that Duo would die without knowing, without
being told.

        "I'll get better, Heero," Duo mumbled sluggishly. "I want to hear
that when I'm better." He slumped in Heero's arms and for a moment Heero
was afraid that he was gone but the strong rapid pulse against his fingers
said otherwise and he was sure he could feel Duo's temperature going down.

        Heero bathed him for a long time afterwards, his hands incredibly
gentle, before he brought him out of the bath and tenderly began to dry him
off, taking off the wet clothes and toting him back to the bed. He was
going to have to go out, get some medication, a thermometer, something with
which to bind Duo's ribs. He hated to leave him alone but what choice was
there? Little, if any. {Hell.}

* * * * *

        The closest place had been some kind of dinky corner store at some
point, he guessed, and he'd raided them for what they had, which wasn't
much. Neosporin, gauze and tape, Tylenol, NyQuil[1], Ace bandages and one
rectal thermometer of all things. Fuck. You'd think they'd at *least* have
an oral one, wouldn't you?

        He slipped into the bedroom and felt Duo's face. Much cooler since
the bath, he thought with some relief. Much better. He went into the
kitchen and brought back a glass of water before gently shaking Duo awake.
"Here. Take this."

        Duo opened sleepy eyes and rasped out a cough before sitting up and
obediently swallowing the water and Tylenol. "Hello, Heero," he whispered,
throat aching. "When did we get here?" He vaguely remembered something
about being awfully cold but he decided not to think about it.

        "Just a little while ago." Heero stroked sweaty bangs out of those
tired violet eyes. "You're sick."

        "I never would have guessed," Duo deadpanned through his sore
throat, burying his face in his pillow.

        Heero sat on the edge of the bed and pulled loose the rubber band
holding Duo's hair in its braid. "Mhm. You have to get better soon so that
I can wash this," he announced.

        Duo flushed a little. "Oh. It's that bad, huh? Yeah, I guess. Not
like they..." He stopped, his mouth grimacing. "Not like I've had a chance
for a bath, anyway."

        Heero trailed a finger across Duo's lower lip, his brows knitting
together. "No, I don't suppose so. And I didn't have time when I bathed you
earlier."

        Duo's indigo-violet eyes opened wide. "B...bathed me?" He looked
almost panicked.

        "Hn," Heero answered. "You were burning up. You don't feel so hot
now and you're a little more coherent. I think maybe it's down for a while.
I'm sure it hasn't broken."

        "Oh," Duo answered, blushing.

        "Here, sit up again," Heero ordered. "The only thing I could get to
wrap your ribs in was an Ace bandage. You said you thought they were
broken. Nothing else is, but you've got a few good scrapes and bruises."
His face was grim.

        Duo bit his lip, closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, Heero."

        "For what!?" came the response. "Sorry for getting beaten up?"

        "Sorry for getting captured. Sorry you had to come after me. Sorry
you didn't just kill me. We need to be off this colony and I'm sick and you
can't..."

        "Shut up," Heero snarled. "Just shut up! I'd shake you if you
weren't so sick!" Instead of shaking him, Heero helped him to sit up and
began to gently wrap the long bandage tightly around his middle. "Idiot."

        Duo flushed upon realizing that he was entirely naked but sat still
under Heero's ministrations all the same. "Oi," he whispered, "I'm glad you
came."

        Heero nodded distantly and glanced up into those wistful eyes. "Duo..."

        Duo laid back down rather suddenly, partially to avoid the look in
Heero's eyes and partially because just sitting up like that for so long
had worn him to the point of exhaustion. "I'm awfully tired," he whispered
softly.

        "All right," Heero answered. "But I want to check your temperature
before you go back to sleep, all right?"

        "Oh, all right," Duo croaked, turning his head so that his ear was
available.

        Heero visibly blushed. "I couldn't get one of those."

        Duo glanced at him blankly. "So what is it?"

        Heero just looked at him.

        "You're kidding me, right?" Duo's eyes got wide. "Aw, hell." He
groaned. "If I don't die of embarrassment, will you shoot me?" There was
something vaguely like the sheen of tears in those eyes.

        "I'm sorry," Heero answered softly. "There wasn't any other one and
there wasn't another store for me to look in. I didn't want to leave you
alone too long. I couldn't risk you getting worse without..."

        Duo bit his lip tightly and rolled over onto his stomach. "It's all
right."

        Heero leaned over, pulling at Duo's dirty braid to turn his head to
the side and whispered softly as he kissed Duo's ear, "I love you, you
know. I'll say it again if that's what it takes to make you feel better.

        Duo's heart nearly jumped out of his chest. "WAUK! What did you
just say!?" His entire face became flushed and the sheen in his eyes had
turned into full-fledged tears. "Don't make fun of me, Heero," he pleaded
miserably, unable to respond as he normally would. "I can't bear it!"

        Heero climbed into the bed next to him and turned him, gathering
him in his arms. "I'm not making fun of you. I said it before, but there's
no way for you to remember," he answered softly. "I want you to be able to
remember it. I'll say it until you do."

        Duo sobbed quietly in his arms, sniffling occasionally. Heero could
feel his tanktop (now wet through) sticking to his chest but he didn't
care, not really. Instead, he gently stroked his hands down Duo's back,
fingers barely touching because of the bruises there. "Shhhh. Shhh. It's
all right..."

        Duo sniffled, whether from misery or happiness or a stuffy nose
entirely unclear. "Do you mean it?" There was a certain sunshiney
brightness in those eyes, fever or no, that Heero had never been able to
resist.

        "Would I say it if I didn't mean it, idiot?" Heero growled out,
wiping away the other boy's tears.

        "No," Duo whispered softly, nuzzling against his throat momentarily
before coughing once again, the sound of fluid deep in his chest rattling
around.

        Heero held him for a few moments longer before he gently extricated
himself from those clinging arms. "Here," he said quietly, "let me check
your temperature. The Tylenol should hold it down long enough for me to go
and get some real drugs, all right?"

        Duo blushed brightly and turned back onto his stomach, burying his
face in the pillows and groaning. "Ok."

        Heero pulled out the thermometer and began reading the
directions.[2] He, too, was blushing furiously at the notion of what he was
going to do and that almost killed him. He made a little noise, unable to
believe that he was having problems even LOOKING at the directions, God
forbid actually being able to follow them.

        He sighed and pulled out the small tube of lubricant that he'd
bought to go with it and coated a finger carefully even as he slipped the
thermometer into the little plastic sleeve that was included. "Duo?" he
asked quietly.

        "Hm?" came the sleepy answer. Duo was so tired that he was relaxing.

        "Tell me if I make you uncomfortable, all right?" With that, Heero
slowly slid the lubricated finger inside of him, face set as he heard Duo
gasp softly.

        Duo was of the opinion that this was the weirdest feeling he'd ever
had in his life. Here he was, sick as could be, still sore and thinking
every thirty seconds about what had happened to him before Heero came to
save him, worrying over how to tell Heero about it, and the single touch of
Heero's finger inside of him made his entire body practically scream with
pleasure. [3]

        "Are you all right?" Heero was obviously worried.

        "Yeah," Duo answered in a choked tone of voice. "I'm fine." No
sense in telling Heero he'd just gotten the hard-on of the century as Heero
removed his finger and slid in the thermometer.

        Heero began to count off the time necessary to be certain of Duo's
temperature. There was something almost obscenely erotic about looking down
on him like this, that perfect ass, and if he had not been sick, Heero was
absolutely certain that he'd have been on top of him before Duo even
realized what he was doing. "It says here 102 F. I think you'll be all
right long enough for me to leave and get you some real medicine."

        Duo clung tightly to the pillow wrapped in his arms and mumbled
something in response as Heero stood and pulled the sheets up to his
shoulders, wandering into the bathroom to throw away the little plastic
sleeve and to place the various medicines on the counter. He could bandage
up the few scrapes Duo had when he came back.

        Returning to the bedroom, he knelt down quickly to check on Duo.
The violet eyed boy was already asleep and Heero sighed with relief. It was
probably best for him that he sleep as much as possible the next few days
and let his body get better.

        With one last gentle caress of the dirty braid snaking down the
covers, Heero rose to go out once again.

* * * * *

        "Heeee~eerooo~ooooo..."

        Heero's fingers went still on the laptop's keyboard and he raised
irritated eyes to stare out the nearby window as Duo called from the other
room.

        "Hee~roooo, I'm BOOO~OOOOOORED!"

        Confining Duo to bed was probably the worst idea he'd had in his
entire short life. The first two days, Duo had slept long hours, the fever
rising and falling periodically until it finally broke, thanks to the
medication Heero had dumped into him almost constantly. The day after that,
he'd spent mostly napping once they'd washed his hair and the fourth day,
he'd read all of the books and magazines that Heero had "appropriated" when
he went out to get food.

        Today, the fifth day, he was driving Heero *INSANE*.

        With a sigh, Heero pushed himself up out of the chair and walked
over to the bedroom door. "So read something."

        "I've already read everything," Duo announced, a pout on his still
too-pale too-thin face. "Won't you come and keep me company?"

        "I'm working," Heero answered shortly and began to turn around.

        "Aa." That single quiet acceptance made him glance back. The
disappointment on the violet-eyed boy's angelic face clutched at his
insides, made his heart lurch. He walked back over to the laptop and shut
it down rather decisively.

        Duo's eyes were closed when he got back and he thought that the boy
might have fallen asleep. Carefully, he pulled up the covers and crawled in
next to him, curling around his body, one arm wrapped possessively about
that slender waist.

        "Heero?" Duo seemed surprised to feel Heero's warmth against his
back, his arm wrapped tightly around him.

        "Hm?"

        "Nothing." Heero felt Duo squirm back against him until his was
comfortable. He could feel Duo's chest expand, almost clear of congestion,
as he yawned.

        Heero dangled his fingers in the loose chestnut hair, the streaks
of light auburn and gold catching his eyes as he twisted it around his
fingers. "Duo," he whispered in one sweetly curving ear, "don't you think
we should talk about what happened?"

        Duo's body went entirely to still. "What do you mean, Heero?" He
twisted around to look into Heero's eyes, his own haunted and shimmering
with tears. "You know. Oh, God, you know." His face seemed to crumble as he
tried to pull away from Heero, still too weak to manage it. His voice
became hoarse and those eyes, eyes Heero loved because he could see Duo's
soul in them, filled with tears. "I... I'll understand if you don't love me
anymore because of it," Duo whispered. The laughing angel that Heero would
kill to protect wasn't in his arms anymore; it seemed almost as if it were
a stranger in his Duo's body. The self-loathing seemed to wash out of him
in waves. "I'm dirty, aren't I?"

        Heero gently caressed trembling fingers through the loose silken
mass of hair and down Duo's face, sighing deeply. "You aren't dirty, Duo.
And I'll always love you, no matter what." He looked at Duo's doubting face
and knew there was only one thing to do to set him straight. Heero brushed
his lips lightly across Duo's, their first kiss, tender, sweet, trying to
put everything, his whole heart, into that light brush of his mouth. "Duo,
if anyone here is dirty... It's me."

        Duo wrapped his arms tightly around Heero's neck and gave a
heartbroken little sob. "Don't say that," he whispered miserably. "Don't
say that. I love you too much to know that.. that you think that."

        "Even if I told you I was the one who did it?"

        "Iie! Don't lie to me like that, Heero!" Duo's face was white as he
jerked back, his eyes huge, like bruises in his face. "Don't you dare." His
voice trembled frantically.

        "I'm not lying. I killed the soldier who was supposed to do it and
replaced him." The obvious pain in Heero's expression did not seem to
translate itself in Duo's mind.

        "You didn't.. You didn't!" Duo's fists began beating against his
chest. "You didn't!" The tears streaking down his face as he flung the
covers away and rolled out of bed, almost stumbling, ripped Heero down to
the bone. "WHY? Why couldn't you rescue me first!"

        "There was no time!" Heero protested. "I did it not fifteen minutes
before they were scheduled to take you to that room! Dammit, Duo!" He
jerked up out of the bed, following Duo's trembling steps.

        "NO!" Duo gasped, his back against the wall. "No!!! Don't you touch
me! Don't touch me!" He whirled and stepped into the bathroom quickly,
slamming the door behind him. Heero could hear the breathless sobs through
the thin door, could hear Duo retching violently.

        "Duo.. Duo, come out. Don't..." He turned, pressed his back against
the wall and began to beat his head against it. God. He could think of a
hundred better ways to tell him that now, but it was too late. Duo must
hate him. He knew he hated himself. Duo was still crying as he pushed away
from the wall. Damn. He was going to have to get somebody else... He
couldn't stay here and hurt Duo with his very presence.

        With the painful tread of an old man, he shuffled into the kitchen.
Time to call in some help.

* * * * *

[1] Hey! Is all good stuff. If drugs are so much more advanced in AC 195,
it's a shame. NyQuil will put just about ANYONE in a coma....

[2] I know there are instructions on how to use those orally, but I'm

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