Psychotic GW Version of Sleeping Beauty
Once upon a parody in a colony far far away.. err scratch that...
Once upon a gay fic, gay as in happy happy joy joy not Spock and Mulder go to the Blue Oyster bar, there was a gay kingdom, where everyone was gay. Especially the king and queen, who were the Spock and Mulder go to the Blue Oyster bar type of gay.
So this king, with his spidery brows, white gloves, and penchant for roses in and out of bed, and his "queen", blonde, willowy and his fetish for masks in and out of bed, decided to have a baby, who they hoped would also have a peculiarity... something s/he could utilize in and out of bed.
And so they had a baby. No, don't ask how the gay Spock and Mulder go to the Blue Oyster bar couple had a kid. They followed their emotions, not to mention that neat commercial on TV they saw the other day, and just did it... and did it.. and did it until voila~ Princess Duo was born.
Only Princess Duo was really a prince, but the gay couple, who were not the happy happy joy joy type gay, decided it'd be a lot neater and a heck of a lot more fun if they announced that the prince was a princess. And so he was.
Then on the day of his christening, the fairies... some of which were the happy happy joy joy type fairies and some others were the Spock and Mulder... well you get the picture type fairies all came to bless the little princess. Only he was a prince, so he got blessed with all the wrong? charms.
One blessed Duo with fabulously long hair and a life long guarantee of no split ends, frizzies, and dandruff. Another blessed Duo with smooth white skin, guaranteed not to coarsen or to get pimples during that awkward teenager phase. And the list went on. Soon, the fairies began to run out of things to bless the babe with so they became rather... obscure. One gave Duo a penchant for wearing black, the ability to speak... a lot, Duo's attraction to psychotic, spandex wearing, cobalt eyed princes.
Finally it came down to the last three, youngest fairies who were both happy happy joy joy and Spock and Mulder go to the Blue Oyster Bar type fairies... even though the red dress clad fairy, Wu-chan, refused to admit to either. The green fairy, Trowa, blessed the princess with coordination and a flair for dramatics. The blue fairy, Quatre, blessed the baby with compassion and manners. But before the red not so happy happy joy joy fairy Wufei could curse the author err bless the babe, an explosion, no not Heero's fault this time, interrupted the ceremony.
In a dramatic flair of smoke, music, and lights the ...Dark Angel of Shadows appeared. Everyone gasped in fright as she was neither happy happy joy joy gay or Spock and Mulder go to the Blue Oyster Bar gay. She peered out at them and crooned. "What? You didn't invite me??" She struck a pose, black wings flairing out menacingly. "I am THE Dark Angel, why you no invite me, neeee?"
The king who had a thing for roses and long haired blondes in bondage replied, "You're not... a GW character, or a fairy, or happy happy joy joy gay, or even frequented the Blue Oyster Bar like Spock and Mulder are oft to do. Why should we have invited you?"
The Angel struck an even more dramatic pose, "Because I am the Tro!" Wufei squealed for no reason as lightening flashed and dramatic music played, then flushed a bright red as everyone stared at him. The chibi fairy in red flushed fit to match his dress and muttered something vaguely threatening about pantyhose, Tro the Soundtrack, and stupid hentai fic writers TM who had nothing better to do than torture poor helpless bishounen into crossdressing and angsting.
"'Sides I'm a hentai fic writer TM... specializing in implied lemons, " she cackled, "What other reason do I need??"
The king could find no reason against that and resumed groping errr comforting his frightened queen, who wasn't really that frightened but hey whatever works.
"Oooooh, now what can I do~, " the dark angel musified while eyed Wufei up and down and imagining him in the cutest liddle bunny suit.... "I know!!"
Everyone leaned forward in anticipation then keeled over at her next words, "I'll take your first born in exchange for spinning fics into lemons, implied of course."
"Ano... Tro-san, that's not right."
"No?" She glared cross eyed to the side where a certain pocky lover was keeling over laughing. "Oh, hush you. You've got me all confuzzled." She struck another dramatic pose. "I will... cross dress you and stick you in high heels!!"
Everyone facefaulted while the girl from the sidelines hissed out, "Wrong fic! That comes later!!"
"Oh yas? Well then hurry up and write it!" She musified some more. "Ah ha! I'll... I'll..." She flailed at a loss for words, "I'll turn Duo into a vegetable, and he can sleep that way for a hundred years!!" And nodded wisely at her decision while everyone else just looked confused.
Wufei leaped up with a howl. "How dare you do such an unjust thing!!"
Tro simply raised an eyebrow as if to say who are you kidding?
The red fairy flushed but continued stubbornly on, "He can retain his own form, but will still sleep for a hundred years, until love's first kiss or the first psychotic, spandex wearing, cobalt eyed prince or a reasonable facsimile wakes him up." The dark angel shrugged indifferently before disappearing in a blinding flash of light, smoke, and music... When everyone's eyes had cleared she was gone... as was Wufei.
Trowa the chibi fairy and Quatre the chibi fairy blinked at each other before shrugging. Oh well... he wasn't really that necessary to the fic...
Wufei: Kisama!!! *glares at oblivious Trowa and Quatre* How how.. dishonorable!! *eeps and runs away from a happily crooning tro*
Tro:... Wuuuu-chan, I wanna frolic~~~
And thus it was that Princess Duo who was really a happy happy joy joy prince grew up into a lovely... princess type person. He was warned not to enter the tower of gundam, but he did. He was warned not to touch the interesting looking sharp tip of the katana, but he did. So the would be happy happy joy joy princess err prince fell into a deep slumber.
The Dark Angel came absent mindedly floating into the neighborhood one day and noted the sleeping princess. She gleefully squealed, "Woohoo!! This cursing thing really works!" At which, everyone keeled over. Chibi fairy Wufei snorted and tried to squirm out of her iron grip, to no avail. For a damn girl, she was strong!! Unfortunately, his cute little squirmings also caused her to drop some of the sleeping potion she was hauling around... it sprinkled all around the castle and all its residents fell asleep.
"Oops." She giggled and quickly flew off.
Since the rose loving king only bought from the best, in this case a red headed bishounen who had a penchant for liddle cranky fire demons, the roses were strong, hardy... and fairly bursting with youkai. In other words, they grew and grew and grew, spreading all over the castle and entwining all around the gundam tower in which the sleeping princess who should've been a vegetable but thanks to chibi Wufei, who was currently being frolicked by the Dark Angel, wasn't.
Day fell, night came, seasons changed, I got bored, spandex was invented, and one day a psychotic spandex wearing cobalt eyed prince decided to accept a mission to infiltrate the mysterious rose covered gundam tower.
So he hacked, destroyed, and blew things up to get to the very top of the gundam tower. There, he spotted the sleeping Duo, who was now covered in a rather thick layer of dust. Heero rolled his eyes, if they were expecting him to kiss the dust bunny god of death, they had to be kidding. A sudden strong gust of wind, which sounded suspiciously like a loud exhalation of exasperation, blew into the conveniently just appeared tower window, getting rid of the dust.... all over the psychotic, spandex wearing, cobalt eyed prince.
Spandex Prince simply grunted and decided to get this over with. He leaned down over the sleeping princess who was really the sleeping prince Duo, but either way, damned if the sleeping err person didn't have an excellent complexion and fabulous hair.
Boing!! or rather Poof... The spell was broken, and except for the rather heavy layer of dust on everyone in the castle, they were just fine. The king and queen proceeded to happy happy joy joy, in a Spock and Mulder go to the Blue Oyster Bar gay type way, their way to the royal bedchambers.
In the gundam tower, Duo the princess who was really a prince opened his eyes... and thanks to the fairy who had blessed him with the weird penchant for loving psychotic, spandex wearing, cobalt eyed princes, immediately fell in love. Spandex Prince immediately felt the urge to happy happy joy joy in a Spock and.. *sigh*... yadda yadda yadda gay type way Duo in the gundam tower.
"Heero, d'you love me?"
"Omae o korosu." (blatant reference to the spoofic I sent out last night XD so nyah nyah if ya don't get it.)
Happy happy joy joy in a Spock and .... you get the picture.
Ye Merry Olde Ende.
Wufei: What about me???
Tro: *holds up his very own justice type boxers*
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