Lost. We're all lost at sometime in our lives. Just some more often than others. Those of us who are among those lost tend to throw ourselves into a crowd hoping to be found. And then there are those who, even though they are lost and alone, choose to remain so by doing something that alienates themselves from their fellows. Those like the Gundam pilots.
We are lost souls looking to belong among other lost souls. Aa, kindred spirits. We are seeking to be found among the lost and find ourselves in each other.
Quatre and Trowa are one example. They are so sweet on one another. I wish I could be that way, to find oneself in another. Then there's Wufei and Zechs. Yeah, I know that Zechs is our enemy, but still. He is a Gundam pilot and if he can find himself and give someone the same, then hell, I say 'go for it'. I mean the way Wu's eyes light up... Then there's Heero. I don't know if he and ojousan are an item or not, but he certianly will find himself, if he was ever lost in the first place.
And last, but not least (oh, how cliché), there's me, Duo Maxwell. Doomed to forever search, but fail miserably, to find myself. Oh were it that I could find myself... especially in a certain cobalt eyed boy...
"Oi, Heero," chimed the overly cheerful voice of the braided pilot of Deathscythe, "Hey, wanna go watch the fireworks?"
Silence greeted him. Turning an icy glare on the genki boy, Heero gaged how to answer. Tilting his head slightly to the left, he spoke, "Why not?" He stood and was rewarded by one of Duo's amazing genuine smiles.
"Great!" he said, jumping up and down in rapid succession.
Heero smiled inwardly, it always amazed him how happy the violet-eyed boy could be because of a simple gesture. Maybe Quatre was right, he thought.
Looking up from his sheet music, Quatre smiled at the stoic boy. "Yes, Heero?"
"You and Trowa... you are in..." he paused, searching for the right word, "... love, right?"
"And you... you share simple... gestures of..." Heero stumbled over the words. He knew what he wanted to say, but it just didn't want to come out.
"I understand what you mean," Quatre said, as if reading his mind, "Yes. Sometimes, Heero, a simple act, such as helping with a chore or just being there, can speak loads more than words could ever hope to say. Say when Trowa is doing the dishes... sometimes I just help without being asked to. It lets him know that I care and, yes, love him."
Heero decided he'd try this and see if Quatre's other observations and 'wisdom' were correct.
He observed some of this 'intuition' now as he watched Duo's face light up as he watched the display of light by compulsion.
"Heero, look!" Duo said, pointing to the latest explosion. Each explosion was accompanied by an 'oh, ah', but this one had been a 'Heero, look!' so he did and saw that this particular explosion had been rigged to explode in the shape of a heart.
He looked over at Duo. The boy's face was positively radiant and his eyes fairly glowed.
Duo glanced over and caught Heero's gaze. Never had he felt such scrutiny. "Oi, gomen. I guess this stuff doesn't really interest you. We can go--"
His words were cut off as Heero pulled him close and covered Duo's mouth with his own.
Duo felt like he was drowning. It took him a few moments to register that Heero was *kissing* him. *Heero**was**kissing**him*! Slowly, tentatively he began to kiss back. When they pulled back Duo had to remind himself to breathe.
"Whu-what w-was that?"
Heero shrugged. "I've always been told to follow my feelings... I've just had a tough time figuring them out..."
"Wh-what are you s-saying?"
"I-I... I... love you..." the words felt funny, so he tried again, "Ai-- dai suki da."
"You-- you do?" Duo was almost is tears. He was happier than he had ever been before. After all his life alone and no one... since... and now, Heero was telling him he 'loved' him?
"Hai, I think..." Heero paused. He didn't want to scare Duo away, not when he was this close, but he could feel the depths of his feeling for the amethyst-eyed boy... "Ai shiteru."
That broke the last barrier, tears poured down Duo's cheeks and he buried his face in Heero's shirt.
"I-I love you too! A-ashiteru!!!" he sobbed...
So I'm not lost forever. So Heero and Relena aren't together and even better: Heero and I, me, Duo!!! are together!!!! I've been found and found love and where I belong. I am lost no more.
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