The Paddle Team Vs. Green Thumb Duo Part 29
By WingNut
A Round Robin of the CS Insanity Central ML

When we last left our story...

Scientist and Hacker Duos worked out that the Rose Brigade may be attempting to summon the Anti-Duo, or at least experiment on GreenThumb. Scientist conferred with Doc L and thought he might have found the antidote to the change GreenThumb back into Pretty Duo. Punk Rock Duo convinced Grunge Duo to help save his sex-life, er, that is, Pretty Duo.

Quatre questioned Treize (with Wufei's active involvement) and learned that Tuberov had worked for the Rose Brigade as a geneticist, but was neither liked nor trusted. Colonel/Lady "Crazy" Une questioned the potatoes in the kitchen, with much less success. Alex got lost in a secret passage leading from the kitchen, while Mueller managed to slip out with THE potato.

In the infirmary, Peters and Johnson were preparing to follow Noin's order to make sure Zechs didn't get away while Noin herself was in the washroom.

Zechs and Heero had a satisfactory encounter amid the rose stalks, Trowa 'fertilized' GreenThumb, and then GreenThumb was hideously entranced by Seymour 'Panties' Tuberov and taken away!! (duhn duhn DUHN!!)

Got all that? OK, awaaaaaaay we go!

Part 30
**********

"What are those two bakas doing?" Thief Duo said, sounding rather aggrieved. Scientist Duo paused and looked around the end of the Duo-van's open rear doors.

Grunge and Punk Rock Duo were 'surreptitiously' climbing the fence. This consisted of Punk Rock pushing the directionally- challenged Grunge against the fence and heaving him semi- vertically until the filthy drug-hound could hook a knee over the top and topple himself over with a loud cry of "Fuuuuuuuuuck!!" as gravity reasserted itself.

"They're sneaking off again," Scientist said matter-of-factly.

Stealth Duo winced. "That's not sneaking! That's just making the rest of us look bad." He looked slightly happier when Punk Rock Duo tried to vault over the 4-foot fence, caught his foot, and landed directly on top of Grunge.

"Do you really want them with us?" Sensible Duo asked pointedly. Stealth and Thief exchanged horrified looks. "I didn't think so. Just leave them alone. We'll swing by the police station when we get back from the Rose Brigade's HQ and bail them out of whatever trouble they get into."

Strategist Duo continued, "Our important goal is the rescue of GreenThumb, and the thorough examination of exactly what the Rose Brigade is up to. If Hacker Duo is right, it may be up to us to stop the Anti-Duo."

The horde of assorted Duos all nodded, and climbed into the van. The rear doors closed and the vehicle took off.

**********

Punk Rock Duo crawled off Grunge Duo and assisted his dizzy companion to his feet. "Now, we just have to find Pretty, and rescue him."

"Uh-huh. Where's he at?" Grunge looked around blearily.

Punk Rock Duo blinked. He hadn't actually thought that far ahead. Damnit!!! He stared around, hoping for inspiration.

As if by divine intervention, a convenient cloud that had drifted in front of the sun parted, sending streams of light down onto the familiar store across the street - Rick's Adult Toy Shop.

"Of course," Punk Rock Duo breathed, stunned by his own brilliance. "That's it!! 'Everybody comes to Rick's' - that's what it said in that movie Sensitive was watching the other day!! Everybody!! And that includes all of us Duos! All we have to do is go into Rick's, and wait for Pretty to show up, and then we rescue him!!! Whooooo!!" He leapt up and punched the air. "I really am a fucking genius!!"

"YEAH!!" said Grunge Duo, also making a punching motion. Then, his face falling into a more familiar expression of incomprehension, "What?"

**********

Noin hurried back to the sick bay, hoping she hadn't missed Zechs. Well, of course she *missed* him, she missed him every single second he wasn't there by her side, or inside her, for that matter. But she hoped that he hadn't dropped by sick bay and been unable to find her. That would suck.

There was an irritating rustle accompanying her journey down the hall, and she looked around a little petulantly without locating the source. She was feeling damned horny, and in no mood to have to deal with minor annoyances.

She pushed open the swinging door to the med station and noted with exasperation that the rustle changed tone as she stepped onto the linoleum. Looking down, she finally realized that she was towing a sizeable piece of toilet paper from the heel of her left boot.

Standing in the doorway, she bent over, lifted her foot, and jerked the pesky paper off. Then she froze in that awkward position when she heard a distinct moan of pleasure close by. Zechs? Was he here already? Had he started without her? That would suck.

Carefully, she peeked around the opened door, her jaw dropping open as she took in the scene unfolding in the medbay.

Johnson and Peters were once again engaged in an active dereliction of duty, naked bodies writhing and twining on one of the narrow beds. The part of her mind that wasn't gibbering in shock noted that they did, indeed, suck.

Noin blinked, hardly able to believe what she was seeing. They were... they were... They were actually...

Of course, Peters would look better if he were taller and had broader shoulders, and Johnson's eyes weren't nearly bright enough, nor his hair long enough, but if she squinted and used her imagination...

They were actually kinda hot together.

**********

The Duo-van was almost to the headquarters of the Rose Brigade when three Duos cried out in pain simultaneously.

"Sorry!" said a nervous, apologetic voice. "I didn't mean to-"

"OUCH!! YOU'RE ON MY HAIR!!"

"Sorry!!"

Stealth groaned, not even needing to look around to know what was happening. "Teenage Klutz, *what* are you doing here? You were supposed to stay back at Duo House!"

"Well, I kinda got distracted when I was supposed to be loading the van with Sex Kitten, and..."

A breathless giggle and an evil chuckle filled in the details.

Strategist Duo slapped his forehead. "Hentai found Sex Kitten and tumbled him into the van, and you - let me guess! - tripped and fell on top of them."

"Yeah!! How did you know?" said Teenage Klutz, sounding amazed.

"Just a shot in the dark."

"Been there, doing that!" laughed Sex Kitten happily.

"Well, we don't have time to turn around and take you back. You'll have to just stay in the van," Strategist decided.

"Oh boy!!"

**********

The PaddleTeam was reunited in the Rose Brigade's large main room. There was much readjusting of clothing, and rather more friendly pats on shoulders, arms, and firm young asses than was strictly necessary to reassure all team members that the others were safe and well.

Everyone else is safe and well - well-satisfied, that is! - except me, thought Quatre rather sadly. He slid his still- unused wooden toy back into the handle of his camel quirt and fastened it securely. Perhaps someday he'd get to use it...

But in the meantime there was an important mission to perform.

Zechs had filled Treize in on Greenthumb's capture by Seymour Tuberov. The General was furious, although he hid it well. "We would be delighted to help hunt that vermin down, if you would have us?" he said graciously to Quatre.

Quatre couldn't help running an appreciative eye over the two tall, handsome men from the Rose Brigade. He would love to have them, any old time!! He was starting to fantasize about how, exactly, he would prefer to have them, when Trowa gave him a surreptitious snap on the rear with his whip, distracting him from his delicious thoughts long enough to accept the offer in a relatively normal tone of voice.

"Private Peters was assigned to keep an eye on Tuberov," Zechs said in his low husky voice, giving Quatre a few pleasant shivers. "Perhaps he might be able to suggest a few likely places for that scum to have taken our - ahem, that is GreenThumb Duo."

Treize nodded. "Ah yes. Fetch him, please, Zechs, and we'll question him."

Zechs nodded, and Heero glared. "I'll go with you," he said almost challengingly.

Quatre sighed. Heero had trust issues. Perhaps it would be best if he accompanied Zechs and Heero, just to keep the peace. And if he had to follow along behind two extremely attractive men, watching their taut backsides flexing and swaying as they walked, well, that was just part of the job.

Really.

**********

Mueller peered out from his hiding place in the mess hall as Lady Une drifted dreamily down the hallway. As soon as she was out of sight, he darted into the kitchen in search of his partner in potato-napping crime.

"Alex? Alex!" he hissed, a little unnerved at the total lack of Alexes in the kitchen.

Well, his friend hadn't come out into the hall, and the only other exit from the kitchens was the loading dock, so...

Mueller carefully tucked the genetically altered potato - THE potato that would make him and Alex into virtual kings of the world - into the front pocket of his trousers and headed for the large door at the other end of the kitchen.

**********

Alex crept through the total darkness at the bottom of the spiral stairs, feeling his way slowly. The air was cool, humid, and smelled of plants. The corridor he was in didn't seem to have any branches, and curved slightly here and there (or perhaps he wasn't walking quite straight in the pitch blackness.) He thought briefly of turning around, but he had no desire to face Colonel Une, and this damned tunnel had to go *somewhere*!

He persevered, and was rewarded eventually by a shaft of light piercing the stygian gloom from a hole in the right-hand wall. He approached cautiously, for he could hear a voice murmuring on the other side of the wall.

"What do you think, my pretty little plant?"

Alex carefully peeked through the hole, and froze in shock at the hideous sight.

Part 28
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