The Paddle Team Vs. Green Thumb Duo Part 27
By Moon Faery
A Round Robin of the CS Insanity Central ML
At the headquarters of the Rose Brigade, events were finally starting to come together in something that vaguely resembled a coherent plot. Heero and Zechs had happily finished screwing each other senseless while wrapped in vines, G.T. Duo had finally managed to be "planted" by Trowa (aquiring several new feet of hair in the process) and was about to be fertilized by a crossdressing sicko with serious hygiene problems, Quatre was finally getting some useful information of of General Kushrenada and various flunkies were creeping around like idiots for no real useful reason, since they were destined to fail anyways.
Oh, yeah, and Noin was pacing around the sick bay waiting for Zechs, but it's not nice to laugh at people, so we just won't talk about that now. We'll get to all of that stuff right after dealing with Lady Une and her potato problem.
In the kitchen, Une had crumpled onto the floor in tears, pleading with a potato to tell her where its scientifically altered brother was. Beside her was a pile of shattered glass and twisted wire frames that used to be her glasses before she aciddentally stepped on them. Finally her she let out a tiny sigh and cuddled the tuber to her chest.
"I understand," she whispered to it gently. "You don't wish to betray your family. That is a very noble thing, and I honor you for it." Giving the potato one last pat, she reached up and turned off the deep frier, placing the terrified root-vegetable with it's family in a pile on the counter.
Standing, she gave the potatos a warm, motherly glance before exiting the cafeteria. She vaguely recalled sending Lt. Noin to the infirmary. If Noin had been ill enough to be forcibly sent to sick bay, it was only right that her worried senior officer visit her to check on her condition and inform her of the cessation of Project 6x01-03-02.
It was the nice thing to do, after all.
***
Across town in the deepest heart of the jungle known as "Boston", a large building sat innocently on a street corner. It was a perfectly normal building; there were flowers lining the walk, a porch and even curtains hanging in the windows. The only thing odd about it was that while the building was surrounded by small businesses and small houses, it was easily huge enough to house several armies. Well, that and it was placed conveniently across the street from Rick's Adult Toy Shop.
No, the only thing that was truly unusual about the place was its inhabitants... (Who, by the way, are the only things keeping Rick's from bankruptcy.)
The Duos.
The compound was filled with them. It was the easily the largest Duo Habitat in the city, boasting the most talented and beautiful Duos in Boston, as well as the facilities to keep them from blowing up or otherwise destroying significant sections of the city. Most of the time, anyways.
In a lab at the center of the building a Duo wearing a long lab coat and protective goggles was toiling furiously, taking notes on a blue substance as it distilled into a beaker. When the blue liquid finsished, he carefully used an eyedropper to collect several drops of it and dripped them onto a small potted fern, which immediately turned brown and died. Scientist Duo (as he was called) flipped his goggles up and ran tired fingers through his messier than usual reddish-brown bangs.
"Doctor, I don't think this will work," he complained to a shadowy figure on the vid screen wearily. "Everything I do kills the cyrtomium falcatum, and we can't risk killing the subject!"
"Don't give up yet, S. Duo," Dr. L responded soothingly. "There's no need to rush. By all accounts, the subject has been contained. There's plenty of time to create a cure."
"If only T.K. Duo hadn't given Pretty Duo that plant food and fertilizer compound!" S. Duo sighed. "This would be so much simpler if I only had to counter-act experiment 02-666 Point 03."
The good (if shadowy) Doctor once again tried to pull Scientist Duo out of his self-induced depression. "It's too late to-" Unfortunately, they were interupted by the door to the lab slamming open.
"The Paddle Team and GreenThumb's been captured by the Rose Brigade!" Hacker Duo yelled as the doors swung shut, nearly in a panic. He was so upset that he didn't even realize he was holding his laptop upside down. His gem-like violet eyes were huge in his unnaturally pale face.
"What?!" Scientist Duo asked sharply, turning from the Dr. L's silhouette on the vid screen and facing Hacker. "The Rose Brigade?"
H. Duo nodded shakily, setting his precious laptop down on a table before his trembling fingers dropped it. "There's more," he told his audience. "I didn't have time to get all the way into their systems, but... They've been working on a project in their hydroponics. I think they're trying to summon the Anti-Duo using a member of the Paddle Team." He kept talking, explaining the details of his discovery in tech-jargon so complex even S. Duo had a hard time following it beyond a basic translation of, "We're screwed."
Scientist Duo felt for the chair behind him before slumping down into it in shock. "Now they have everything they need, and a Duo for testing it on." His eyes narrowed and he straightened in his chair, looking determined. "Go tell the Head Duo, I'll finish up GreenThumb's cure."
The Duo who had brought the news scooped up his laptop and ran back out of the lab, braid snapping through the air behind him.
"I thought you didn't think you could create the cure?" Dr. L asked curiously, watching from the screen as S. Duo began to move around the lab purposely, gathering his tools.
"I have an idea," Sientist Duo answered calmly, laying a large bar of dark chocolate down among the selection of chemicals on his work table. "We're going to save Pretty one way or another."