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Forbidden Six
Tara is so nice. So pretty. I wish Willow had moved out instead! I only get to see Tara once or twice a week, when she takes me to a movie, or comes over to watch TV with me. Like last night. Somehow we fell asleep on the couch, and now it's morning. The TV is off. I think I woke up when Tara switched it off. I must have slept all night with my head in her lap. Tara's lap is so warm and soft. She's playing with my hair. She is my best friend.
I wish she was my girlfriend. I wish she would do the things with me that I've heard her doing with Willow. Things so good it almost hurts. Better than anything I can do alone. I want to know what it is that two girls do together.
I want Tara so bad! Maybe not forever, I guess. Just for a while. Willow would be mad, but I don't care. I'm mad at Willow. She hurt Tara and made Tara have to leave. She hurt me, too. She says she is finally done with magic, but nobody really believes her.
And anyway, maybe if Tara was my girlfriend for a while, Willow would be sorry. Maybe she would treat Tara nice and stop messing with her head. Maybe they would get back together and everybody would be happy again.
Oh my God! That's a serious wedgie!
One
Do I really want... that?
Sweet little Dawn... her hair is so soft. I slept a little last night, but mainly I watched her sleep, and listened to her breath. She is so good. I can't believe what she's been through, losing her mother, then her sister. And then having to pretend her sister was still alive! She's been ten times as strong as I was around her age, when my mother died. And I didn't lose a sister as well.
She and Willow and I became almost a family. But now everything's different. I had to leave the family. I had to leave Willow. And now that Buffy is back from the grave... Dawn doesn't really need me. But she's still my best friend! I don't know what I'd do without her. I thought I'd lost her and Willow both, but Dawn still wants to be with me. She makes me so happy. Sometimes she looks at me as though she must be thinking the same thing I've been thinking lately. Wanting the same thing. Probably just wishful thinking... it's hard to imagine she would want... that.
It's almost as weird to think that I might want that myself. I've been so lonely since Will and I broke up, and I have... needs... that Willow met so well, but now there's just a hunger she left behind. And Dawn is so beautiful. That's probably why I feel this way... nothing more than human weakness. Maybe the attraction... there, I've said it... maybe the attraction doesn't go any deeper than that.
Do I really want... do I really want to be intimate with Dawn? More than friends? I feel the warmth of her face in my lap, and the silky softness of her hair, and I don't have an answer. I can't separate my body's desire from my heart's.
I turn off the TV with the remote. It was on all night. No sign of Buffy and Willow, I suppose they've been out patrolling all night. Buffy thinks Willow might really be getting control of her magic now. I hope so.
Dawn is awake. She is so cute, and... she's looking at me that way again. She's half asleep and it seems as though she's showing more than she means to. My imagination? Honestly, I think she wants me... in that way. Did she always dress this way? No bra, tight slacks... was she thinking of me when she dressed? I look down the perfect curves of her body, to the line of six shiny silver buttons that fasten her gray slacks around her hips. Oh how I would like to unfasten those six buttons!
No. The look is gone. And anyway, I don't want that. I'm not attracted to her. We're just friends and that's all we'll ever be. I'll just wait for Willow, and hope things work out.
Dawn is fingering her crotch and squirming in my lap in a very distracting way. "Wedgie!"
"Oh..." I say, stupidly.
"It's nothing tragic," she says, and pops open the top button of her pants. Grabbing the fabric between her legs, she's able to pull them down a little at last. She digs with her fingers to free her panties as well. "Ah... much better!"
My heart is pounding and my mouth is dry. Yes, I really do want... that.
Two
But is Dawn even attracted to women anyway? I don't want to say a word without at least knowing that. She's never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend that I know of. She joins in when Willow and I notice an attractive female... but she might do that just to fit in.
"Where do you think Willow and Buffy are?" she asks.
"I'm not sure... I think they never came back after patrolling. Maybe they're at the Magic Box."
Dawn lifts her head, listening. I listen, too, for several minutes. Not a sound. Not the slightest creak of someone moving around. We're alone. Dawn rests her head on my lap again, seemingly pleased. Does she want us to be alone? I continue running my fingers through her long hair, and her eyes close.
"Willow's crazy," she says.
I think about this. "She has a problem. But deep down she's still Willow, you know."
"I mean she's crazy to let you go. If you were my girlfriend I would give up magic for you!"
What a sweet thing to say. But... it doesn't mean she would ever actually consider having a girlfriend. Still, I seize the opening. "Maybe you should get yourself a girlfriend, Dawnie!"
Her eyes are still closed, but she smiles. "I wish!"
"Aren't there any nice girls at school? Or boys?"
She shrugs. "I guess, maybe. But I wouldn't date a boy, and I wouldn't dare ask a girl. Maybe high school was different for you, but asking another girl out on a date is asking for trouble. And Kirstie gives me enough trouble as it is."
I sigh. "Yes, I remember high school. I never asked anyone out. In fact, I've never been with anyone but Willow." But that answers that... Dawn is gay.
She snuggles against me and unfastens one more button, getting comfortable.
Three
If I'm really going to broach this subject, how do I do it? I know she wants Willow and I to get back together, even though she's not too happy with Willow right now. I really don't want to say the wrong thing. Especially if she's not interested in me. Which she's probably not. I'm far too shy for this. What could I possibly say?
I could tell her how pretty she is. But I always do that. I could tell her how sexy she is. Not my style. Plenty of potential for embarrassment there. I could suggest myself as her first girlfriend, but make a joke out of it. It wouldn't be funny. I could beat around the bush, talking about girls, relationships, maybe working our way around to our friendship eventually. Or maybe not.
I could just sit here in silence. That's my usual mode of operation after all.
"Do you ever want to?" Dawn asks.
I snap out of my reflections. "What?"
"Do you ever want to be with a girl besides Willow?"
Is Dawn making this easy on purpose? "Well... sometimes. Especially now that we're semi-split up."
"Do you ever think of being with me?" She is making this easy.
I blush and stammer. "Well, I... um... I, yes, sometimes maybe. You're really pretty!" Oh, God, that hurt! I think I'll just crawl into the crack of the couch and never come back out.
Dawn gives no reaction. Did she ask out of simple curiosity? Did she sense how I look at her? Did it bother her? Does my answer make her as uncomfortable as it makes me?
She's unfastened another button somehow. I didn't even notice her doing it, but there it is. Her pants are half unfastened. Is three buttons more than mere comfort can explain?
Four
I can see the silky pink fabric of her panties now. Not to mention her nipples, standing out clearly under her light blue shirt. Unbearable temptation. But does she want what I want?
Neither of us speaks for a long time.
Dawn breaks the silence. I guess she's the less shy of the two of us. "I think of being with you sometimes, too."
My heart races. Perhaps she really was looking at me with desire all along. "Really? Me?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry."
"Oh, no, Dawnie, don't be sorry, that's really sweet of you to say. I don't think many people find me attractive."
Dawn turns her head to look up at me again. "You've got to be kidding! You are totally yummy!"
I laugh. Not even Willow ever called me yummy! "You're pretty yummy yourself, Dawnie!" She smiles, and that is desire in her eyes. Hard to believe, but I really think it is.
She fumbles with the fourth button. I place my hand over hers and help her slip it through the buttonhole.
Five
My fingers rest on the front of her underwear. Just for a moment, but there is intense intimacy in this brief contact. Her warmth under my fingers surprises me, and the spongy feel betrays soft curls beneath. Whoa! Time for a reality check. Is this really such a good idea?
First of all there are a few years between us. More to the point, we have a great friendship. A great love. It's a cliche, but a true one: would we jeopardize the friendship we have now? Could things ever be the same again?
And what about Buffy? She's having a bad time as it is–coming back from the dead is no picnic. And she's always been very protective of Dawn. Dawn tells me she thought Buffy was about to beat Willow up after Dawn was in that car crash. Evidently Buffy controlled herself, but... Buffy's opinion of her little sister having sex with me is not something to lightly overlook.
I withdraw my hand. "Is this a big mistake, Dawn?"
Dawn looks up at me, hurt, but saying nothing.
"I mean, you're my best friend, Dawnie! I don't want to mess that up. And I don't want to make Buffy mad at us either."
Dawn's eyes are practically pleading. "We should just try it together! If it doesn't work then we go back to normal. And Buffy doesn't have to know!"
"I'm not sure it's that simple, Dawnie."
"No matter what happens, Tara, I promise I won't be mad at you."
I can't help smiling. "All right. And I won't be mad at you. But Buffy..."
"We already do stuff together anyway. It will be easy to keep it secret!"
I think about all this. The risks seem insignificant in the face of what we both want. Want badly, by the looks of things.
I put my hand between her legs again and unfasten the second-to-last button. She smiles and wriggles, and her pants slip downward by several inches.
Six
I stare at Dawn's luscious stomach, exposed between her shirt and her underwear. At the swell of her panties vanishing behind the remaining button. At her lovely eyes, staring into mine with such invitation. I realize she doesn't even know what two women can do together. But she wants to find out. My legs part, lowering Dawn's head closer to my own sex. This is really happening. But the biggest barrier of all remains. The one I've been trying not to think about, but I can't kid myself anymore. Can I do this to my dear, sweet Willow?
"Dawn... I can't... My heart still belongs to Willow."
Dawn's forehead wrinkles in frustration. "She doesn't have to know either! And anyway it serves her right for what she did to you."
I look in my heart and find only helplessness and sadness towards Willow. Well, maybe some anger still. But no desire for revenge. I've asked her to be strong, to fight the desire to abuse magic. How can I say that if I can't fight my own desires? "Dawnie, I wouldn't feel right. I'd feel like I was cheating on her."
"But that's not fair... her and Amy..." she stops, seeing the look on my face.
Suddenly I want to cry. I never want Dawn to finish that sentence. And yet I need to know. "What, Dawn? What about Willow and Amy?"
"They're not dating or anything," Dawn hurries to explain, "but that first night when Amy was human again... I heard what happened. She went after Willow. She said she wasn't gay but she hadn't had sex in years and she needed Willow right then and there. Well... Willow didn't stop her. And I think they were together once after that, too. I'm so sorry!"
All right. Definitely angry now. But I'm free. I can think of my own needs–and Dawn's–and Willow can't very well judge me for it. Not that she'll ever find out. "It's OK, Dawn. Thanks for telling me. I needed to know."
She puts a comforting hand on my cheek, and suddenly I am leaning down to kiss her. It's an awkward kiss... one of her first, I can tell, and our position doesn't help any. But it makes everything so much better. And it magnifies my need a hundred times. Dawn's too... her rapid breathing mimics my own.
I hurriedly pop the final button loose and slip Dawn's pants down to her thighs. I caress the newly exposed flesh of her legs and hips, and my hand finds her crotch. The fabric is soaking wet and her lips press outward against my fingertips, through the thin material. Dawn pulls my hand away and I feel one last qualm about doing this. But she slips my hand inside the front of her panties, and down past her silky curls. She presses my fingers between her lips and I gasp. She is so slippery and hot inside!
I moan a little. Tara's hand in me feels amazing! She's not doing anything more than I always do to myself. Heck, she's doing less! Just circling two fingers around slow. So slow and sweet. But somehow it's the best thing I ever felt. 'Cause it's her. My beautiful Tara! Now her other hand is caressing my chest, tickling my nipples through my shirt. Oh God!
Now she's taking her fingers out of me, and her hand leaves my breasts. "Don't stop!" I cry. She is looking at her shiny, wet fingers. Bringing them to her mouth. But she never gets there. Instead, she wipes them on her shirt.
She pulls my pants back up with both hands. "I'm sorry, Dawn. You don't know how much I want you! But I can't." She fastens the first button.
"Why? Tara... please, I need you so bad!" Another button.
"I can't. You know I love you, Dawnie... but I belong to Willow forever." Another button. Half of them done. "You'll understand one day, when you meet the one person in the world who is meant for you."
"I want you and Willow to be OK... but we can still do this!" I try to stop her but she fastens one more button.
"We can't. I can't. Willow is the only person I will ever touch that way. And if she doesn't want me, then I'll spend my life alone... I'm sorry." She closes the fifth button.
I need her fingers in me so bad I can't stand it. But what she's saying... it's so romantic! I can't argue with her anymore. I fasten the last button myself.
Tara is staring at the door to the kitchen, with her hand over her mouth. Willow! How long has she been watching us? Oh God, I feel awful.
Tara lifts me aside and walks over to Willow. Willow's eyes are full of tears.
I would be grateful if you would give me your comments and rate my stories in my Guestbook, or email me. Reader responses will determine whether I publish more stories, and will help improve them! Thanks for reading!
If you enjoyed this story and would like to read more about Willow and Tara, try Witch's Faith or Nowehere Far Enough. Or if you'd like to read about Dawn's romances, try I Have Never Been to Boston, Inside You or the TG4B Trilogy (erotica).
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