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Witch's Faith
"Greta Knopf? I think I heard of her years ago. I'm thinking... is she rich?"
"I'd say so, you should see her house! The big brick place on Worth and Main. We're pretty sure she does magic for hire. The kind of magic I used to mess with, and worse besides." Willow lay beside Faith in a grassy park, playing with the Slayer's hair.
"So how did Buffy get this witch to talk?"
"First all we had was rumors of some witch working with Elise. The way Buffy looked at me sometimes, I swear she thought it might be me! But she finally, um, persuaded some vampires to tell us about Greta. Buffy and Spike and Tara found her, and Buffy got all Slayer on her–you know how that works! Well, her days of selling black magic are probably over, but she has so much money already, I don't think she'll risk pissing Buffy off ever again. She's staying out of town until we've got Elise, and then Buffy will keep an eye on her after that–make sure she's not hiring out the black stuff anymore."
"What was she doing for our favorite undead weasel?"
"The coffin I told you about, with the fungus and everything. It was really gross. It will make Elise extremely strong. I think Elise knows she'd better show more than just attitude if she wants to hold onto her power. Her new strength won't last for more than a week, but I guess that's enough for her to put the fear into anyone who might be thinking of taking her on."
"You almost have to admire her...."
"Faith!"
"Don't worry, I'm with the good guys now! She reminds me of myself a little, that's all..." Faith suddenly looked sad.
"What is is it?" Willow touched Faith's cheek.
The Slayer shrugged. "It just came to me... she's like me... maybe that's why I..." Faith looked ready to cry.
"What?"
"I used to beat her. More than you saw. I took everything out on her. I felt like she deserved it. Now I think... it was me who deserved it...." Faith didn't cry but her eyes watered.
Willow rolled onto her side in the grass and put an arm around Faith, her own eyes watering too. "You don't deserve that, Faith. You have been pretty messed up in the past, and it hasn't been good for you, or me, or anyone... but you were always there underneath."
Faith was comforted, but it made her think of something else she didn't deserve: Willow. She felt a familiar sense of panic, that she was destined to lose her lover–and she didn't think she could be alive without Willow. She thought of her life a month ago–an empty existence with no end in sight, imprisoned with her own inner darkness for company, dreaming each night of power, and of revenge against Buffy for things that were nobody's fault. Now she dreamed each night of Willow, and woke up happy, for the first time she could remember in her entire life. She told Willow this. "You saved me, Willow. No one else could have, or would have even wanted to try. But you saved me."
Willow rubbed Faith's stomach in slow circles. "You saved me, too, Faith. After I was sure I was beyond saving." Willow forced down the thought that perhaps Faith had saved her for Tara.
"Willow, I'm just so... happy... that sounds so weird to say. I can do good every night, I have a job that's not too bad, I see you almost every day... I've even started carving in my spare time. I don't know how I could ever have dreamed of anything else."
Willow smiled. "What do you carve? Other than the occasional demon?"
Faith shrugged, "Just stuff out of wood. I used to do it when I was a little girl." She pulled something out of her pocket and showed it to Willow. It was about four inches long and only half finished, but Willow could see the outline of a girl lying on her stomach, head propped in her hands. The face was not done, but somehow the figure had an air of deep sadness. Willow's eyes watered and she didn't know why.
"That's really good, Faith! She's so sad...."
The Slayer was at a loss for words to describe her feelings any further. So she just squeezed Willow's hand and changed the subject, returning the little statue to her pocket. "Let me guess, you're not allowed to tell me how you're going to go after Elise."
Willow looked at Faith for a while, still overcome with emotion, before she could answer. "Yeah, they still think she's under your thumb–or vice versa maybe–so they wanted me to promise not to tell you anything."
"Did you?"
"Not exactly. I told them I trust you... and they need two witches tomorrow, so they pretty much have to put up with me for now." Faith turned her head and gave Willow a kiss on the lips. It was nice to feel trusted. It was even nicer to feel like she should be trusted.
"Well, I might be able to help a little, actually!"
"No, Faith, you'd better stay away. Seriously! Buffy is really on edge about you and me."
"OK, I'm sure you guys can handle Elise.... But I might be able to help from the info side of things. See, Elise is telling everyone I'm still on her side, and it's starting to backfire. When I ask about her, sometimes I actually get some answers now!"
"Awesome, what have you heard?"
"Not much yet–not where she's hiding–but she is planning something and you should tell Buffy: I think it might be against Dawn." Willow covered her mouth with her hand. "I heard something about a key last night, and then this morning I started to wonder... so, Buffy ought to watch out for her sis."
"Wow, I'll tell her as soon as I get back. Is Dawn in danger now?"
"Not until Elise gets her spell I don't think. Or gets Buffied, as the case may be..."
"Well, that's tomorrow night. Greta's basement. I'm going to pretend to be Greta and tie myself into the spell–make it look like everything's ready to go. Tara's going to give me Greta's voice and I'll try to get Elise talking. But she won't be leaving. Buffy and Xander and Tara are going to be hiding, ready to jump her once I can't stall her any more."
"Sounds like you've got yourselves a plan. Good luck."
"Thanks. Call me if you find out anything."
"You know it. I'm going to feel a lot better when... you know, our thing we started with Elise is finally done with. We're the ones who got her started..." Faith's expression clouded.
"Yeah. Same here. I'll sleep a lot better after tomorrow night." And all of a sudden, Willow was crying. She didn't understand why right away. But then she knew. She knew she was hoping that she'd be sleeping in Tara's bed again before long. She needed Tara wrapped around her in the dark. Tara, the good, sweet witch whose love had been with Willow through so much. Only now, Willow's love for Tara made her feel terrible. Willow wanted to bring the most complete happiness to both women. And she feared she would bring them both misery.
Faith sat up, "Willow... what's wrong?"
Willow just shook her head, crying harder and harder. Faith moved to straddle her and put her hands on the witch's shoulders. "You can tell me, Willow...."
And Willow needed to tell her. She should have told Faith long ago, and it couldn't be put off forever. Putting it off meant admitting the fear that the Oracle was right. Putting it off meant that maybe Faith would never need to know about Tara... because maybe Faith would be gone. Willow knew she could never tell Faith and Buffy about the Oracle–to speak of it would be to believe that its prediction might be real. To speak of it would be to reveal the terror she kept buried deep down inside, and the secret relief she felt each day when she first saw Faith or Buffy.
So Willow denied death by doing to Faith what everyone close to Faith had ever done. Willow hurt her.
"I love Tara, too, Faith... I never stopped loving her. I can't stop loving her."
Faith sat up, withdrawing from Willow unconsciously and taking a deep breath, blinking away tears that she didn't want to come out. "I know. She must... really be something..." The tears came despite Faith's best efforts. She felt her own unworthiness in her very bones.
Willow pulled Faith down to her, and to her relief, Faith allowed herself to be held and rocked.
"I was going to ask you to come live with me," cried Faith. Suddenly that seemed like an embarrassingly stupid idea. Why would Willow leave Buffy's nice house and her witch lover and come live in Faith's decrepit basement?
"I've been hoping you would ask," said Willow. "But I've been hoping Tara would take me back, too. I feel so selfish... I need you both... and it can't ever work." Willow's sobs shook Faith's body.
Like Tara, there was only one thing Faith could do. Cling to the moment and to an impossible future that she would give anything to have. So she held Willow tight and fought against the darkness inside of her. If she lost Willow, she was very afraid she would lose that fight as well.
"I'm so sorry, Faith. I don't know what to do."
Dawn was angry and crying. "I can't stand you guys anymore!"
Buffy and Tara both looked pained and tried to reach for Dawn, but she shook them off and walked faster. They had taken Dawn out to a movie, but now Dawn could see it was a pretext to have a private conversation out of the house. And she knew it was going to be something against Willow. Willow seemed to be her old fun self again, and Dawn had thought Willow and Tara were getting back together finally!
Buffy tried to explain. "We just need you to know there may be someone new after you. That vampire Elise we've all been after, the one Willow was doing spells for. We just want you to be careful. We want you to be safe."
"So why the secret outing?"
"Because Faith is involved in whatever it is, and you need to be warned about her as well. Willow is... still in touch with Faith..." Tara paused, feeling emotion welling up from nowhere. For the thousandth time, her mind filled with the image of Willow lying half naked underneath a murderer, torturer... one of the most evil and cruel beings Buffy had ever faced. And one of the most seductive. Tara felt a frightening kind of anger that was very unfamiliar to her. She knew she would rescue Willow from Faith at all costs.
Buffy took Tara's hand sympathetically, and the witch continued. "Faith has Willow convinced that she's a saint, now, but she's working with Elise... and they may be after you."
"Well guess what?" said Dawn, fed up with the constant tension in her home, "Willow just talked to me this morning and told me that if I ever met Faith I could trust her, that she would protect me. She told me you'd say all this, too. And she said it's Faith who told you Elise is after me!"
Buffy frowned. "That's true. It was Faith who told us. Through Willow. We don't know what that means–I'm hoping it means that their plan is something else entirely. But every vampire in Sunnydale knows Faith and Elise are a team, and she is not to be trusted."
"And I suppose Willow's not to be trusted either?"
Tara defended her friend. "Willow means well... but... when it comes to Faith, she isn't thinking very clearly. It's not her fault. She got involved with Faith at a very difficult time in her life."
"Don't tell Willow," Buffy said, ignoring Dawn's rolling eyes, "but we're afraid she may even have told Faith about our ambush plans for Elise tonight." The unspoken implication that Willow might, just might, still have an interest in Faith's scheming hung in the air.
"Promise me," said Buffy, "promise me you won't trust Faith. We'll leave Spike or someone with you at all times, and if you ever see Faith, just scream. We'll take care of her."
Dawn looked into her sister's eyes and knew the Slayer would always seek only her protection. "Fine. I promise."
"This will all be over soon," said Tara, stroking Dawn's hair. "It really will. One way or another, Faith will be gone. Once we've dealt with Elise."
Dawn was still angry. Why couldn't Willow really be good again? First black magic, now evil Slayers!
Continue to Episode 11 – Reunion.
Tara looked ahead to a future that was no longer painful and uncertain. Soon Faith would be dead or in prison or driven away from Sunnydale. Willow would take some time to get over how cruelly Faith had toyed with her emotions. But Tara would help her through it. And then they would embark on the rest of their lives together.
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