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"So... only a few more weeks that we can still call you Faith–"

"Don't even finish that! Just 'Faith' is fine. Soon I'll have a name I'm proud of."

"That's all set?" Willow drove all the way here without Buffy. She's been just great since Buffy and I got engaged.

"That was the hardest part of all this. Scheduling the ceremony was easy compared to getting my name changed! I insisted that it change on the very day... had to go before a judge, and all kinds of nonsense. But my lawyer took me through it. No charge–early wedding present."

"Well by the time you get out, I bet you two can get an actual California marriage license. Just ask me and Tara, we're the professional lesbians... we're here to help you newcomers."

"That would be nice... but it's less paperwork this way!" I almost ask about her and Tara, but I'm afraid to. Buffy told me that the two actually had a heart-to-heart after I gave Willow a kick in the pants last month. But she said they still weren't together afterwards! So the important things were not quite said. I really hope that's changed by now, but Buffy hasn't said a word if so.

"Is everything going to be ready in time? Can I help with anything?"

Our engagement will last all of eight weeks, and half of that is already over. We're getting married the day before our next CV. "You've helped plenty, Red. It's not going to be any huge formal thing. No big deal." But who am I kidding? It will be a big deal! It may cost about twenty bucks total, and I may arrive in handcuffs instead of a limo, but I think we've planned a great wedding.

"Don't give me that! You and Buffy are bouncing off the walls you're so excited. Every day when I see her, she... Oh... I'm so sorry, Faith!"

I must have reacted to the 'every day' thing without even knowing. She looks pained. "I didn't mean to say that. That was kinda thoughtless."

"It's OK. Really. Tell me... is Buffy pissed at all? 'Cause I won't let her help me get a dress?"

"She's fine. She's picked out a wedding dress herself, but she figures if you want to get married in the same clothes she's seen you in for half a year, that's up to you. She just wants what you want. She has no clue that I've come to see you."

"Good. I want to make sure this is a surprise. Now... let's see what you have for me!"

Willow puts down the phone for a moment and gets out some photos–pages torn out of catalogs and some printouts from the web. "I know you don't have much money or much time... so take a look at these." She pushes the pages towards the glass and spreads them out. I learn forward for a better look.

"These ones aren't really dresses, and you said you wanted a dress..." She taps a stack of pages left off to the side. "And these are... well... kinda slutty." She gestures towards another few pictures. "These ones cost like double what you said you could swing." A third pile of rejects. "But these are all really nice, and they all come in white, too... I put my favorites first!" I look over the pictures spread out on the table. They're not bad, but nothing grabs me. And who said I have to wear white? At least they aren't wedding gowns. Willow knows I just want a dress.

She gets a guard's attention and starts gathering the "good" pile to send it around to my side.

"Wait! I want to see the slutty ones, too. Just curious." She shrugs and adds them to the pile.

I'm flipping through, as Willow eagerly awaits my reaction. Ah! I smile.

"Find one you like?"

"I think so..." I read the fine print. It's shown in white but it comes in black. I imagine myself wearing it. Yes. That is what I will wear for Buffy on our wedding day. "This one! In black. Thanks a million, Red!" I hold up the picture.

"Wow... good thing I brought the slutty ones... you do know there will be children present?"

Indeed I do. The one flaw in this perfect event. I will be standing for the first time in the same room as the Brat–otherwise known as the Key–with no barrier between us. Something could happen, and I have no idea how to prepare for it. It could just be a fight to spoil our happy day... or it could be a gateway spouting demons from Hell! But when I asked Buffy if Dawn really had to be there, the matter was not open to discussion. Buffy thinks of the creature as family. I lost that argument months ago.

My apprehension must show in my eyes. "Faith, you're really afraid of her, aren't you?"

"Not exactly afraid." Yes. Afraid.

"Buffy's worried you two are going to have some kind of a scene at the wedding."

"Not unless she starts it. Which she very well might do. I take it she's still trying to talk Buffy out of this?"

"Well, she's not happy, but she's agreed not to make an issue of it with Buffy anymore. They had a pretty bad fight last week, so I took Dawn out and gave her a little talking to." Willow's smiling but I don't get the joke.

"It's not funny, Willow!"

"It kind of is... Buffy mentioned that you would be her sister-in-law soon, and she flipped out. She said..." Willow is laughing hard now! "She said... that... she said that all Buffy cares about... is that you have a cute butt!" Willow's nearly crying, but I still don't think this is funny! I wrack my brains trying to think when I might have turned my back on the Brat. Even with a glass barrier, I've been pretty careful about that!

"Actually," Willow continues when she's done laughing, "the talk I had with Dawn was pretty serious. She really thinks you've done some kind of spell on Buffy, and you're planning to do something even worse to her. She didn't want to be at the wedding at all, which would have really upset Buffy. But I told her that one day she'll be glad she was there. She probably thinks you've done some spell on me, too, but at least she's agreed to be there for Buffy. Her heart is in the right place."

"Gee, thanks! Wouldn't want my biggest enemy to miss my wedding!"

"Look, Faith, she's Buffy's sister, and my friend... Tara and I looked after her when Buffy died... we know her... what can we say to convince you, she's just a regular, nice girl!"

Well, for starters, they could stop all saying that, when they know she's not even human! I shrug. But Willow has reminded me of something I've been trying to decide how to tell her for months.

"Willow, I don't know how to say this so that you know how much I mean it, but... thank you for bringing Buffy back. Thank you."

Willow smiles but it's sad. "Thank you for making her life worth living after I gave it back to her. Everyone was glad to have her back... but I guess we were all afraid it wasn't right. And then, when that demon made us all sing, I found out... she was in Heaven and I stole her away. She only started to seem like her old self after she started seeing you."

"Well you're a hell of a witch, and no matter how dangerous it could have been, you did a wonderful thing. Never have any doubts about it, Willow. You saved your friend's life... and probably mine." She looks grateful. I'm glad I said it. "As for demons that make people sing... I think Sunnydale must have gotten weirder since I left!"

"That was a weird one all right. Scary! But it was beautiful, too... you should have heard Tara sing to me!" She cups her hand around the mouthpiece and her eyes twinkle. "You know what? She was singing when we... when I gave her... well... a very special moment if you know what I mean! There was levitation, and crawling up skirts, and... and stuff."

I raise my eyebrows. Levitation? "Well...! How, um, did she sound? Did you sing too?" Willow seldom talks about Tara in a sexual way, and now she's babbling on about it! Good sign or bad?

"I couldn't sing right then, I was... well, I couldn't sing. But she sounded beautiful! Until the end... she started sounding pretty shaky at the end. And that was beautiful too!" She's blushing now.

"Willow. Tell me you and Tara are back together."

She shrugs sadly. "Not exactly. We talked about it, sort of, but we're taking it slow."

I shake my head. Somebody needs to smack those two! Or lock them up in a room. Something.

"Hey, Faith... one more thing. I saw that there's one red rose that's actually alive from the stuff Buffy planted for you. If you want to wear it, I could steal it for you!"

"Hmmm.... That would go great with black. And I can find a red belt or something to match, maybe. Yeah, get it! But don't tell Buffy where it went!"

Our secret plans are made. She'll order the dress and bring it by some time before the wedding. We go on to chat about dire troubles on the Hellmouth–making me wish I was there, of course.

"Faith... have you talked to Angel? Is there any chance he's coming to the wedding? Buffy was a little upset when he didn't want to come."

"I know. But no, he's not coming. I've called him, through my lawyer. He says he's happy for us... and I think he really is... but he doesn't want to be there. I guess I have to respect that. I can't imagine losing Buffy. I can't imagine having to give her up like he did. He says he can't come because of the daylight, but Spike will be there–he's found some way around that. So I guess he's just not ready to see us together. It's kinda sudden for him, 'cause Buffy never told him we were together. I think that hurt him, too."

"That's too bad. Buffy doesn't want this wedding to bring anyone pain. She really wants him to be OK."

"So do I. He will be. Eventually."

 

---

 

Oh, boy. Gristleburgers.

I take my tray of slop and grab a seat with some women I recognize. About half of them I know by name, but I don't have any good friends in prison. Just a few acquaintances to exchange gossip with. When you slay a guard–even one that's a rapist and vampire–the rumors hang around, proof or no proof. Most of the inmates give me space–out of respect, fear or both. And besides, this place likes to juggle our work and eating schedules around, and move us from wing to wing at random. They don't want us getting to know each other too well. All part of keeping us under control.

"Hi, Faith, how's the wedding coming?" It's someone I used to work with on the assembly line. I'm sure I've never told her about Buffy, but my engagement seems to be hot gossip lately.

"Hi, Janet. All set I think! One week to go." I take out a picture of Buffy–wearing clothes–that I keep hidden in my pant leg.

"She's adorable! You lucky dog!" Everyone leans in for confirmation that I am indeed marrying a woman. There have been lots of rumors that my CVs are with a woman, but I always used to tell everyone I was straight... including myself.

They ask the usual questions, about the wedding, about how we met. I know it's childish, but I enjoy the attention. I know I'm babbling on, making an ass of myself, probably. But I never get tired of talking about her to anyone who shows the slightest interest. It probably doesn't do much to help the air of dark and quiet mystery I try for, though. So I make sure I also mention that Buffy tried to murder me before I went to prison, and that it served me right but now we've forgiven each other.

"So," says a short girl with curly brown hair, "you must be looking for a last fling or two while you're still single!"

"I think not." But I stop eating and mash at my burger thoughtfully with a fork. I guess I'm sort of promising to Buffy that I'll never have sex again with anyone but her. Never again, as long as I live. Not that really I want to... but still. Never is a long time! And I am a big fan of sex. It's looking like being single ended when I turned myself in to the police almost three years ago. Hell, I won't even be with Buffy again before we're married.

I thought I was ready for forever. But "never" is a scary new way of looking at that. Of course, I'd be crazy to bail on Buffy. We love each other so much it's scary.

Scary. There's that word again.

I look at Buffy's picture and shake off my doubts. I am so looking forward to this... I'll think about that instead! I resume my meal, although the sandwich is now mashed to a gray paste.

A guard approaches and I tuck the snapshot away. "You. Telephone."

The rush of delight those two words bring buries all the doubts. "My fiancee!" I just love saying that. I leave the table wearing a sappy smile I can't control. So much for being dark and mysterious!

I step into the semi-private phone closet by the cafeteria. My lawyer puts Buffy on the phone. "Hey, B, I was just showing your picture off!"

"Not..."

"No, not that one!"

Buffy runs some questions past me about the music and flowers. We agree that we should videotape the wedding if we can borrow a camera somewhere. I tell her the size of the room we'll be using. Bigger than we need, but that's OK. We go over the ceremony again, even though we've both got written copies of the plans. Before Buffy, I never gave a thought in my life to weddings, but we've had a lot of fun planning this one.

"I think we've thought of everything, B. This wedding thing is just too easy."

I'm trying to get a rise out of her and she takes the bait. "Well some of us have been working hard on this thing instead of lounging around in prison all day." She and Willow have both worked very hard on this. Everyone else has helped, too. I've helped make decisions, but realistically there's only so much I can do from here.

"Tell me, Buffy, how does a miserable wreck like me deserve someone like you?"

"Well, nobody else answered my ad, Vampire Slayer Seeks Same... so you'll just have to do."

We sit silently, like we sometimes do. Nothing more to discuss, but we're not ready to say goodbye. I would do anything to be able to kiss her, hug her... even just to close my eyes and press my face into her golden hair for one moment.

"I love you, Buffy."

"I love you too, Faith. I can hardly wait 'til next week."

I know the feeling.

 

---

 

This won't be much like other weddings. This is our day, and we're doing it our way! A few friends, but no family at all–unless you count Dawn, which I don't. Buffy's family is all so far away, and she wasn't sure how much they'd understand what we're doing. And my family? There's just my mom, if she's alive. She'd never come even if I tracked her down. Hell, she couldn't afford the plane ticket! Not to mention that she'd ruin everything if she was here. She hates me.

We talked about having bridesmaids–and Xander even asked to be one before he thought about it. But it's going to be a very small gathering, so there's no need for bridesmaids. Everyone's important.

So far only Spike and I are here. He showed up at five AM to beat the sunlight, and sat around all morning. I was released to get ready at noon. The ceremony starts at one o'clock.

It's very weird to have Spike with the good guys. But I'm not afraid of him. Vampires I can handle, unlike whatever the Key is. We haven't had much time to chat, but I can tell he's still crazy about Buffy. I guess he's OK with this because he always knew his chances with Buffy were slim. Still, he doesn't exactly seem thrilled. I hope it's not too awkward when Buffy shows up.

For some reason I expected stained glass and a big ol' cross, but this part of the prison chapel must only be used for meetings or something. It's rather bleak, actually. But it will do the job just fine. There's a podium in front, a table at the back by the entrance gate, for food and drinks and Xander's stereo, and maybe two dozen chairs that we can fold up for dancing. We also have two short hallways, one at each side, with a tiny bathroom off of each. I've already gotten dressed in one, and Buffy will use the other. We'll each stay in our hall and won't see each other until the ceremony. That's about where tradition ends. We aren't even exchanging rings.

The awesome thing is that I'll be free to be with my friends for the first–and last–time in years. Guests are let in through two sets of heavy gates, and there are guards outside them, but once inside it's almost like being free! Sort of. Like one big CV. For that matter, just being in a new room is exciting. I've been kept in the same half-dozen areas for years.

I hear voices approaching, and the sliding of the first gate, so I retreat to the hall on my side and shut the door, pacing nervously. I'm so wired, I feel like I have to pee every five minutes! One of the voices is Buffy's, laughing. My heart leaps at the sound. I could rush out and tackle her right now! But I'll wait. That's what we agreed, and we worked hard planning this. I overhear Spike telling the others that I'm all ready. Someone–Tara?–scolds "Not yet!" and I'm guessing that Buffy had been contemplating rushing in to see me.

The voices vanish, and I know they've all gone into the far hall. All the guests are Buffy's friends, and it's a little sad being all alone. I pace up and down, every second lasting a lifetime. After a while I hear Xander and Anya setting things up on the table. And... the Brat's here. I hear her voice calling out. Now I'm nervous!

Twenty minutes and counting!

The door to the main room opens.

"Willow! How do I look?"

"I couldn't leave you out here all alone! You... Oh my God!"

"Is it awful?" Suddenly, for once in my life, I have no confidence in my appearance.

"It's... you look... incredible! I don't know where I'm supposed to look, but it's gorgeous! Buffy is going to flip!"

"That's the idea." I rush forward and hug Willow. It's so strange being able to have physical contact with people I care about!

"I see you found something red to go with the rose. Very... um... pretty!" Yes, indeed I did find something!

"You look fantastic too, Willow." Brown and deep green. Brings out the red of her hair.

Tara pops her head in and waves at me shyly, taking Willow back out. Did her eyes widen a little at my outfit?

 

---

 

Five minutes left. Low voices in the main room. Buffy's waiting alone in her hall now, I suppose. The anticipation is killing me.

The door opens again. Dawn! She lets the door close on us and regards me with an intense stare. I'm pretty damn terrified, but I hold my ground. I'm afraid that she intends to stop this wedding–or worse–and I don't have a clue what I should do! It's crossed my mind that she may try to trick me into attacking her and getting caught. I'll be wary of that trap, but I will defend myself.

The Key speaks with quiet menace. "Faith, Buffy really wants this, so I guess I'll go along with it. But I'm warning you, don't you ever hurt my sister. I have friends with powerful magic, and we'll make you sorry if you ever do!" And she darts back through the door without waiting for a reaction.

I jump when the door opens again, but it's just Willow. "Faith! Are you OK? You're as white as a sheet!"

"The Key... Dawn... she... I think she just gave me an 'older brother' talk!"

Willow doesn't seem to appreciate my distress. "It's not funny, Willow! She threatened me!"

"I think that's traditionally part of the 'older brother' talk," she says, still laughing.

"No, Willow, she said she has allies who will use magic against me!"

"Faith! She means me and Tara! Really, Faith, calm down... she's just worried about Buffy. I think it's sweet." Then she starts laughing again.

"Well we'd better hope you're right! You didn't see the look in her eyes."

Willow glances at the clock on the wall. "I better get to my seat!" And then I'm alone again. The last three minutes until one o'clock feel like a week.

The clock finally hits one, and every muscle tenses with anticipation. Shouldn't there be music? Buffy and I picked something slow for Xander to play as we walk down the aisle, but all I hear is people muttering. No music. Should I go out or not? A minute passes. Two.

Willow's back. "Slight problem... nobody to perform the ceremony. Buffy wants to wait another fifteen minutes, is that OK?"

"Sure. We have a backup plan, but I hope he makes it!"

More waiting! I step into the bathroom and check myself in the mirror for the hundredth time. A knock interrupts me and I turn to open the door.

"Xander! Look at you all dressed up!" We hug, but he's not here to visit.

"Buffy's bathroom has become the little girls' room... so that means you're in the little boys' room!"

I return to the hall. I catch Xander staring at me on his way back out to the main room.

I pace away the minutes, feeling slightly dizzy. Almost sick. The past few weeks have hardly seemed real, and this has to be a dream.

Just about one fifteen now. Did he show up, or do we do this with Willow officiating instead?

The music starts. Oh, God! One way or another, here we go!

I put my hand on the doorknob and I have a vivid mental image of Buffy reaching for hers at the far door. Suddenly this is all very real. I can't breathe.

Oh my God. Why did I get myself into this? What was wrong with things the way they were? This isn't me!

For weeks I've been sure this was just what I wanted... and suddenly I can't remember why. I try to think of all the things that make Buffy wonderful, but nothing seems real. She doesn't seem real. She's larger than life. It's like when you say a word over and over and it doesn't mean anything anymore. Buffy. Buffy. Buffy. Buffy.

All the blood drains from my face and I start to sweat.

I can't do this!

 

Continued with "CV-8"

 

 

I would be grateful if you would give me your comments and rate my stories in my Guestbook, or email me. Reader responses will determine whether I publish more stories, and will help improve them! Thanks for reading! (If you'd like to be notified when I post new stories, let me know.

FAQ: The details of the conjugal visit thing are completely imaginary, not from experience, and may be quite inaccurate. I have never actually had a conjugal visit with a Vampire Slayer. I would, however, certainly consider it. Incarcerated Slayers may inquire here.

If you enjoyed this story, try Witch's Faith. Feeling rejected by Tara and Buffy, Willow finds herself helping Faith get out of prison–and falling in love. When the dark Slayer's plots turn deadly, Willow must betray someone she loves. But who will she choose?

Faith walked out to Willow's car in a daze. She didn't truly believe this was happening until the prison gate closed behind them and they were on the open road. The afternoon sun turned to rain and it was the sweetest sound Faith had ever heard. She wished Willow would drive faster. A hundred miles an hour... two hundred! She was ready to slay–vampire after vampire turning to dust before her. And then she wanted sex... real sex, not a stranger's head between her legs in the bathroom, forcing orgasm quickly because privacy might end at any moment. Faith glanced curiously at Willow, wondering if the girl had ever had thoughts of homosexuality.

In the back seat, Faith found a bundle of lovely, wood stakes. The real thing! The Slayer took a stake in her hands. She caressed it, felt its perfect weight. Its solidity made the future suddenly solid as well. "Hey, Red... thanks."

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