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(Sorry to wait so long before continuing this. I've pasted together a summary of episodes 1-6 to make up for the delay!)

 

I feel drugged. Detached. I've been crying all day. Still am. But I hardly know why anymore.

I know they're all in there. Buffy, my former friends, even Giles. I hid and watched them go in. But I can't make myself do this.

I don't know how long I've been sitting here on Buffy's steps. Working up my nerve. Does Dawn really live here too? Is she inside right now? I just can't picture it.

Raised voices inside. Buffy. And Dawn! She's in there! I turn my head to hear better. What's going on? Is Dawn crying?

Buffy bursts out of the door. "So help me God, I will kill her!" Catching me by surprise, she kicks me in the back, hard. Oh shit! She's re-broken some ribs! It hurts... so... bad!

She tumbles over me, lands perfectly on her feet, and prepares to attack again, murder in her eyes. Deja vu. Suddenly I feel like I never left Sunnydale. We were born to do this, she and I. And she's a worthy enemy.

She's dropped her crossbow, though.

Rising to a crouch, my muscles tensing instinctively for a fight, pain rips through my back and side. I don't let it show.

She glances at the weapon lying off to the side. An arrow loaded but not cocked. It's slightly closer to me than to her. I might just get to it first. Or is that what she's waiting for? She'll tackle me when I go for the bow? Either way, she's out for blood.

One of us isn't going to walk away from this. I've got to control the pain. Wall it off. I've fought in worse pain than this before. So I've got a disadvantage... So what? Deal with it and find hers. That's what being a Slayer is all about.

We dive at the same moment. I get in a wicked punch to the jaw, but she gets the bow. I land hard on my twice-broken ribs. I make a face, just for an instant, unable to hide the excruciating agony. Fuck you, Buffy!

Leaping to her feet, she cocks the crossbow and aims it at my forehead. Inches away. Her finger on the trigger shaking with rage.

I smile slowly. "Guess who's back, B?" I raise my hand, wielding the arrow like a knife.

She tosses the empty bow aside furiously, leaping away and bracing herself for battle again. I get my feet under me and shift my grip on the arrow. That razor-sharp tip is gonna make things messy if she makes the wrong move. And she will make a move. I can see it in her eyes.

Focussing only on my enemy, I'm barely aware of familiar sobs drifting through the open door, more raised voices, and some kind of scuffle. Dawn breaks free and runs outside.

"Faith!" she weeps, and I almost lose my concentration. Willow catches her from behind and stops her coming any closer. "What did you do to me, Faith?"

So she knows. They all know.

What did I do? The only thing I could. I gave into the evil inside me and smothered the beautiful light she shined on me. I took your love, Dawn, your trust, and rammed it down your throat. I'm the reason your heart is crushed and your eyes are red from crying. But I will not be distracted and give your sister an opening.

I can feel my anger giving me strength. It's like having my beloved knife in my hand. It still doesn't seem real what I did with that knife. It won't be real until I see it again. If I live that long.

Buffy's anger is not strength. She's completely beyond reason. That's her disadvantage. I'm gonna make it her downfall.

I tighten my fingers around the arrow, watching for any sign to warn of her next attack. Now... what to say to hurt her the most? Something about Angel? Nah. Some nasty lie about Dawn, I think. Something about Dawn in bed. "What is it about you Summers girls, always working me into a sweat?"

Dawn is staring at the weapon in my hand. "Stop it!" she cries. "Don't hurt her! I love her!"

She does love her sister. I know that. I even know Buffy loves her. But I can't think about that right now. Maybe when Buffy's lying half-dead in a pool of blood and I'm standing over her, I can think about that and not finish the job. Maybe.

Buffy takes a sudden step to the side, her knuckles white on tightly balled fists, her face twisted with hate. I pivot and take a step back so she can't go for my legs. We freeze again, eyes locked.

Tara is helping Willow restrain Dawn. She's hyperventilating now. Hysterical. "Stop it...! I love her... she loves me... Buffy stop it!"

Dawn loves me.

Buffy feints to my left, but I wasn't born yesterday. I bring the point of the arrow around in a savage slash to my right.

Not a feint. Buffy grabs my arm and flips me head-first onto the ground. I throw my head back into her face, knocking her loose, and roll to the side. The pain in my ribs is blinding, but I regain my feet before she can lunge again. In an instant, we're face to face, my arrow under her chin. She's in trouble now. "Give us a kiss, B!"

Dawn loves me. She knows I've done something terrible to her. She knows I deceived her. And still she loves me.

I catch a glimpse of Xander and Giles circling around behind me. They must have gone out the back door. Nice try. They can't reach me in time to save Buffy, but they just might take me down afterwards. Buffy, standing frozen but still shaking with rage, makes eye contact with them over my shoulder. She thinks she has a new advantage. But it doesn't matter. This is our destiny. I can almost feel how much this arrow needs to bury itself in Buffy's brain.

Dawn loves me. And I love her. And even now, she knows that.

This is it, I realize. This is the moment. The moment I've wished for again and again, and never quite touched. The moment when I can finish turning my life around. Or I can sink back into the shit I came from, and keep on sinking. Right into hell. My next act, my next words, will decide which. I don't feel like it's something I can control. I'm outside my body, waiting to see what I'll do. Waiting to find out who I am.

The pain is really bad now. I can't think. In my peripheral vision, Dawn is on her knees sobbing, struggling weakly against the two witches. Two shadows draw close behind me. Buffy's eyes bore into mine with every ounce of the hate I've earned. The point of the arrow is almost touching the skin of her throat.

Do it now. Fast, or I won't do it at all. I grip the arrow tightly, and put all my strength into one sudden motion. Buffy's head jerks.

The sound and the feel of it are strangely satisfying. Now I know who I am.

Buffy's eyes narrow and the shadows behind me pause. I drop the broken halves of the arrow onto the ground.

 

---

 

No, Faith! Don't drop the arrow! I gasp and sob but no words come out.

Even if I could speak it's too late. She's defenseless, and I know she's hurt bad! Giles and Xander are coming up behind her. Get her away from Buffy! My sister is crazy, she's totally flipped out! And Faith is scaring me too! I feel like I don't know either one of them. They're strangers, not my sister and my girlfriend. I struggle to get free and put myself between the Slayers, but Willow and Tara have me held tight. "Let me go!" I try to cry, but all I can do is breathe in fast gulps. Why won't anyone listen to me?!

Faith collapses to sit on the ground in front of my sister. Her face is twisted in pain. Poor Faith! What did Buffy do to you? I heard bones breaking! And what did you do to me? Why was my face in that spell? "Faith..." I manage to gasp.

Faith looks up calmly. "I'm not gonna do this with you, B. Finish me off while Dawn watches, if that's what you really want." I struggle even harder, trying to make myself breathe right. "But your sister's the most important thing in the world to me. You died for her. That puts me on your side whether we like it or not."

Xander stands nervously over Faith with a club. Giles takes Buffy by the arm and leads her a few steps away. I sigh with relief and start to calm down. The fight is over. For the moment.

Giles is looking off to the side. Some big boxes are sitting next to the front steps. "Buffy, we have what we were after. We've found Faith. We have the Box of Gavrok." My sister is calming down too, but she's staring at Faith in a really scary way. It's like she doesn't know what to do except fight. She thinks Faith pretended to love me and did something bad to me. I'm the only one who knows that's not true.

"Hey guys," says Faith, glancing around at Xander and Willow and everyone. Trying to act all cool like when she would give our teachers a hard time. Trying to hide the pain from her injuries. "Long time no see." She takes a deep breath, makes a face when it hurts her, and nods over at the two boxes. She sounds more normal when she speaks again. "That's all the magic stuff the Mayor left me. And the Box of Gavrok. I've been doing some nasty magic, and I guess you know all about it. But it's over now." My poor dear Faith! She looks so lost and lonely right now.

Giles walks over to the cardboard box sitting next to the big ugly square one. The way he's looking at Faith, he doesn't trust her one bit.

"Tell them, Faith," I cry hoarsely. "Tell them you didn't do anything bad to me! What have you been doing, Faith?"

Faith looks me in the eyes for the first time and my heart breaks. She hates herself. Like when I found her half-dead in the motel. "But I did, Dawnie," she says quietly. "I did terrible magic on you. On both of us. I'm sorry." She looks around at everyone. "I'm sorry for everything. You don't know how sorry. Whatever you decide to do to me, I deserve it."

Giles cautiously flips the lid of the smaller box open and jumps back with a small scream from the huge spider inside.

"It's dead," says Faith. "Too long dead to have any power, I think. There's one still alive in the Box. And I chopped one up. That was all there were. Three. Not enough for an Ascension. That's not what I was after."

Buffy looks at Giles, then at Faith with Xander standing guard. "And I suppose we're just supposed to take your word for it that you don't have the rest of the creatures stashed someplace. And we're supposed to believe that stuff in the box is really everything the Mayor left!"

Faith shrugs. "I guess I can't prove it. But that's all of it. I'm done with it. Destroy it all. Do what you want with it. That's why I came here. Not to fight." Faith is glaring at Buffy again now, and I don't blame her after what Buffy did! But it seems impossible that the two of them could ever get along like I've dreamed.

"You're hurt!" I say to Faith, sniffling, and pull towards her again.

Willow and Tara hold me back. "Dawnie, no," says Tara softly, with a pained look. "We can't let her hurt you any more than she already has."

"I'm fine! She hasn't hurt me!" I start to struggle wildly. "Let me go! She's hurt! Let me go! She needs me! She–"

"Dawn!"

Faith's voice stops me. "It's OK Dawnie. She broke some ribs. I'll live. We'll get through this. But it's gonna take a while." Her lovely dark eyes gaze into mine. "I love you, Dawn."

"I know," I sniffle weakly. I want to kiss her so bad. I want to tuck her into my bed and take care of her! But she's right. We have to be patient. I stop fighting against my friends. This is so much worse than I ever expected. Why was Faith doing magic on us? Why did she have to do that!?

Buffy's looking at Faith like she's heard it all now. She turns to me. "I didn't hurt her one bit, Dawn."

"I heard bones breaking!" I insist. Xander nods. He heard it too.

Buffy shakes her head. "No way. You can't break a Slayer's ribs that easily!"

Faith looks at her. "You can if she's just been hit by a bus."

Everyone is silent for a moment. It's not too tough to figure out who saved me from getting run over.

"Kind of ironic," says Buffy to Faith. "You meant to risk her life, not yours. Did you misjudge how fast it was coming? You screwed up and got yourself hit. But it worked out, didn't it? Getting hurt made your so-called rescue a little more convincing. I almost can't blame Dawn for starting to trust you. And what then? Let me guess. You started buying her expensive gifts with the Mayor's money? A ruby necklace, for instance?"

"That's not how it happened!" I yell at Buffy, exasperated. Faith's eyes are burning like they're going to fight again. She looks so scary, and for the first time I can imagine her turning on my friends and helping the Mayor. I don't like it. I want my Faith! The real Faith. The one I knew in Boston. The one I love.

Buffy ignores me. "OK, Faith. Here's how this is going to work. You're going to tell me exactly what you've done to my sister and why. Or I'm gonna break a few more bones."

"I tried to make her immortal." I gasp. Immortal? Faith sounds like herself again. Only sadder and littler.

"With the Books of Ascension?" asks Willow.

"Yeah. The Mayor left instructions. Not enough creatures left for an Ascension, but he told me the rites to perform to become immortal. Me and a partner. Dawn." I climb to my feet again, speechless. Willow helps but doesn't let go of me.

"That's the worst kind of black magic!" says Tara, horrified, putting her hand on my cheek and looking at me as if she can see the harm Faith did to me.

"I know," says Faith in the same small voice. "I decided not to do it. But when Dawn almost died... I couldn't deal with that. I worked up my nerve and I went ahead with it. I'm sorry. But it's over now."

Tara's expression softens. She and Willow exchange glances. Willow looks at Buffy. "Maybe she really didn't mean any harm, Buffy."

"Like hell. Who knows what she's really been up to with those books!" She takes a step closer to Faith. I am getting so furious with my sister!

"Buffy," I say quietly, "if you attack her again I will never forgive you."

"I didn't attack her! I tripped over her!"

Faith rolls her eyes. "Give me a break, B! You said were out to kill me and you were."

"If I'd meant to kick you you'd know it! You would have landed in the street!" Everyone is staring at Buffy, not sure whether to believe her. We were all inside. We didn't see how it started.

Faith looks at Buffy long and hard. "It was an accident," she says. "If Buffy says she tripped, I believe her."

I think about this. Yeah. I believe Buffy too. The whole fight was just stupid, then. But they sure both got into it.

Faith looks at me sadly. "I need to talk to you alone, Dawnie."

Willow and Tara pull me closer protectively. Buffy moves between me and my girlfriend. Xander raises his club again in case Faith tries something.

"I'm afraid," says Giles, "that's not something we can allow right now." He steps away from Buffy and nervously approaches Faith. "Faith... I've accepted an assignment as your Watcher. It's my job to give you the benefit of the doubt if you really have stopped whatever dark magic you started. But I'm not willing to put Dawn or anyone else in danger. We're going to have to do some research here, and you're going to have to prove yourself if you expect to be trusted. I hope in the end you decide to be a Slayer again. You could do a great deal of good. I know you're not happy with some choices you've made. You could make up for that now."

Faith's shaking her head impatiently. "Look, Giles, it's not like I don't appreciate the offer... but I don't need a Watcher. I am a Slayer. I always will be. I patrol every night... when I'm not laid up in bed with broken bones. But I work alone. I had a Watcher once, and she trained me well. She's gone and that's that. You can't replace her. So... thanks but no thanks. No more stuffy Brits."

Faith is sounding kinda mean. "Faith," I say gently, "Giles and I are the only ones on your side right now. You might want to be nice."

She looks like she's about to make some snide remark. To me?! Then her eyes fall. "You're right. Sorry about the stuffy thing. But... no Watchers. No way." She shifts to lean the other way and winces again from the pain.

"Look at her. She needs to go to the hospital!" I step a little closer to my poor Faith before Tara stops me again.

"Don't worry, Dawn, I'm five by... five..." She winces again while trying to talk. "Nothing heals broken ribs except time."

I frown with worry. "Then you have to rest! I'll take care of you. I missed you, Faith. I worried about you. Where did you go? Why was your stuff all packed up?"

"It's been a busy few days. I've been getting rid of that stuff. It's being sold and turned into cash. The apartment too. Everything. A lawyer's handling it. It's a done deal, signed and sealed. All the Mayor's money is gone. I don't want any of it." She gives me a sad, tight-lipped little smile. "So your girlfriend's broke. I've got to find a job and a place to live now. Everything I own is in that paper bag." She points her thumb at a grocery bag sitting by the Box of Gavrok.

"So we're not rich anymore?" She gave up the Mayor's entire fortune?

"No, Dawnie. I'm so sorry. I know we had big plans. But it wasn't right. I didn't want our dreams to come true out of the Mayor's money. We'll make them happen ourselves. Or we won't. I'm sorry to spring the news on you like this. Your stuff is gone too."

"All of it? My computer?" It was so fun going over to Faith's and having our little secret life with everything we wanted. Fancy food delivered... shopping trips.... and now there's nothing? Faith doesn't even have a home?

"All of it. And I've got to send that ruby necklace back too. I do want good things for you, Dawnie. I really do. But not that way."

I think about this. It feels right. "I understand, Faith. We never had money and nice things before. We don't need that stuff. We'll find you a new place and make it nice." I smile, and she looks relieved. "But... what happened to all that money? Where is it?"

"It's gone. I thought about giving you and Buffy some. I know you're having money troubles. But it didn't feel right. And I knew Buffy would never take it. So... the money's just... gone. Let's leave it at that."

Everyone's looking at Faith suspiciously. They all think Faith still has the fortune. But I know she's telling the truth.

Buffy sighs. "I think it's Scooby time. We need to figure out what Faith's really been up to and how to stop it. And we need you to tell us everything that's happened, Dawn." Oh–is anyone planning on actually listening to me? "We'll figure this out together. How she tricked you, and why. And we're all here for you, Dawnie." I roll my eyes.

"I concur," says Giles. "We need to have a meeting and figure this all out. Tara... I think we'll need some more of your spells, to find out if Faith has really stopped her magic or not." Tara nods.

Faith looks guilty all of a sudden. "Dawnie... I'm so sorry about dinner the other night. You deserved better. I didn't plan very well."

I smile a little. "It was kinda gross."

"You finished two bowls. I couldn't believe it." She smiles too. "When I have a place of my own, I'll make it up to you. A real romantic dinner. Grilled cheese with bacon bits!"

I'd almost forgotten! I used to make those for her in Boston. We never got sick of 'em. "Now you're talking!"

Frankly, after that last meal, anything sounds good. What was she thinking? Who serves instant oatmeal for a candlelight dinner?!

"Dawnie, will you do something for me?" She's talking in a really quiet little voice now. Her eyes are pleading. I wish we had some privacy.

"Anything!" I say. Buffy steps toward Faith but Giles puts his hand on her shoulder gently.

"I know these people are your family and friends, Dawn. They were my friends too, once. But now, being around them again, I feel like I'm right back where we all left off. I feel like the bad guy. When I'm alone with you I feel like my old self again. Like Sunnydale never happened. But it did. And now here I am, and I don't feel like myself anymore. I'm just what they think I am. I want to lash out. I want to come out on top and laugh in their faces. It's the only way I know how to be around them."

"That's not very nice," I say, confused. I can tell it's true though. The way she talked to Buffy when they were fighting. The scary look in her eyes. The attitude she gave Giles. I've been seeing glimpses of the bad Faith I've always heard about. It makes me sad.

"No. It's not very nice." Her lip trembles. "Dawnie, will you help me? Will you help me to be myself?"

 

~ Continue to Episode 8 – Purest Evil ~

 

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If you enjoyed this story, try CV-1. Buffy agrees to a meeting with someone from her past. It's not what she expected.

I turn around. The woman's pissed. And wearing a uniform. What now? They think I can hide a weapon in this skirt? Maybe a sewing needle! "CV's this way."

CV? "But I..." I gesture helplessly toward the phones, getting more confused and nervous by the minute.

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