“Oswald?” Kate waved a hand in front of Oswald’s face. No reaction. “Yo, Earth to Oswald.”

Oswald snapped back to... well, as close to reality as he ever got. “Present?”

“Yeah, what about the present? I think Wick may be serious.” She gently touched the flowers still lying in the box. “I know roses have gotten more common these days, but he didn’t stop by the floral department of the MiniMart and get these on a blue light special.”

Lewis snorted, “I’d say he’d stopped by the cemetery, but they aren’t in wreath form.”

“What’s going on?” Oswald sounded even more bewildered than usual.

“Well, let’s see,” said Drew. “Nigel Wick just gave you flowers, declared his intention to have his way with your body, and tried to check your tonsils with his tongue. Typical day.”

Oswald frowned. “That was pretty presumptuous of him.” Lewis was nodding. “He didn’t even buy me a beer. What kind of guy does he think I am?”

“Cute.” Kate supplied.

Oswald grinned. “Oh. Yeah.”

Lewis said, “Yeah, well he’s sniffing up the wrong hetro, isn’t he buddy? Oswald is a man's man.”

Drew said, “Lewis, a gay guy is a man’s man.”

Kate ate a pretzel. “You know, there’s a theory out there that all people are basically bisexual. They just have to find the right person to kick the switch. I don’t know--I can’t think of any woman I‘d rather have sex with than, say, Rob Lowe.”

“Not a fair analogy, Kate,” said Drew. “He’s so pretty even I'd have sex with him.” They looked at him. “Theoretically.”

“Excuse me,” said Lewis loudly. “Let’s save the fantasies for the Penthouse Forum. We have a serious problem here. Wick has Oswald in his sights. We have to do something.”

Drew shrugged. “Why? All Oswald has to do is ignore him. I mean, it’s not like he’s going to rape him or anything.”

“I don’t know,” Lewis said darkly. “You can’t trust his kind.”

Kate gasped. “I’m surprised at you, Lewis. I never would have expected such intolerance from you.”

“Well, I’m sorry Kate. But I’ve never felt comfortable around Republicans.”

“Look, Lewis, Oswald is a grown man,” Drew argued. “I’m sure he can take care of himself.” He looked over at Oswald. Oswald was trying to balance his beer bottle on his forehead. Drew sighed and got a notebook out of his pocket, beginning to scribble on the page. “Here’s the number for the rape crises line, just in case.”