Hey , what's going on? Not alot here. Everything is going really well here. Life is looking up , I've got a really awesome boyfriend now , my grades don't suck ( completely anyway ) and everything is just peachy keen!!!!!!!!! heh heh
But anywho, I have decided to work on the site since I never do! I will catch ya later!
March 27 , 2002
Hi hi! I just got back from Valley Park ( detention center ) and today was my last day! YAY!!!!! Kick ass! I am just sitting here contemplating on what to do , and nothing is popping into my head. Mom said that later I must take my little sister to get some food . Well, bye for now I'm going to work on my website!
April 1 , 2002
Well, not alot is going on right now. I'm feeling a little depressed right now. I have just been thinking alot. I'm really tired of that Heather chick ( and thats sad because I don't even KNOW her ). Because she is making Andy so upset all the time and it is affecting our reltionship to the point that I can't get to know him that well. I hope to goodness that he doesn't talk to her anymore. It just makes me feel like I'm in a relationship with not just andy , but heather as well. And that sucks. Well, hopefully after what happened this weekend he wont talk to her anymore like he said. I'll just have to see if it gets better.
But anywho.... On another note.... I'm bored.I think I'm gunna go chat with Greg now, So I may write more later ... If not though bye bye
April 2 , 2002
Hey what's going on ? I'm sitting here trying to tell myself to go back to sleep because I'm sooo fucking tired!!!! My day yesterday got better . Way better!
I got to see Lisa! And she is soo pretty now =) I mean she always was, but she lost weight and now she looks so good. I'm so proud of her =)
Then of course I got to see ANDY! Yay! I had missed him .He's getting his tatoo finished today and he is gunna stop by and show me. But for now I'm going back to sleep. Bye bye
April 3 , 2002
Hey yesterday I had fun. And it wasn't anything speical I just got to hang out with andy =) And that makes me smile. He was being so sweet yesterday , he was cracking me up. He only stayed till about maybe 11 becuase he had work the next day, but it was still great =)
Then after he left , I left too and went to a party or two with Kiera and Sean. And Sean kept hitting on me because he was drunk off his ass and the whole night basically sucked big time.I didn't drink for the first night in a long time. So I feel better now. Although I haven't eaten in a few days and I am feeling weak.I am debating on whether or not to eat today .I feel pretty bad so I don't think I will.I'm meeting Greg today for the first time! I like meeting new people =) YAY
We are meeting for lunch at McCalister's Deli place.(He is hungry ).I really don't want this week to end becasue that means that I will have to go back to school. UGHHHH
Well I am going to get ready , so that I can go and meet Greg.
Talk to you later! Bye
April 5 , 2002
Hey what's up? Not alot is going on here. Tonight Me and Andy and Kiera went out. We got some stuff and had fun. We went to Sean's friend's apt and hung out there. NOt much other than that happened.... heh
Anywho..... I'm tired now, I'm going to sleep.
Goodnight
June 13,2002
Hey I haven't written in here in a LONG time. Alot has happened and things have changed. I wrecked my jeep,got in alot of major trouble and did some stupid SHIT..... But now everything is okay. =)
I got a job at West.I still work at the Great American Cookie Co. and life is looking better now that I have everything under control again. I am going to start writing in here everyday again. Bye for now though!
June 14,2002
Hey. Not too much went on today. I watched 3 movies. The Cure, SLC Punk and Run Lola Run. Those were the major events of the day. My friends' parents have met me ONLY this week and they have allready decided that they don't like me, purely because of my eyebrow peircing!!!!! GAHHHHHHHH....................
It is Friday fucking night and for once I have NOTHING to do. WHich is BULLSHIT. I am fucking bored!!!!!!
*SIGH*
Well I am going to go work on my website, that is all I will write for tonight! Bye bye!
June 16, 2002
Hey yesterday was great. I had work from 10-4. In which some of my friends came and visited mee =) After work Christina picked me up and we went to Sean's house. Tab was there and so we decided to all hang out. A trip to the levee later and all my friends were there and I WASN'T AT HOME!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! Russel was there , Lainey was there, and yay Mandi ( with an I hehe ) yay yay yay. And then I was FLYING! IT was such a good night. And I flew with Tab it was so cool. He made sure I didn't have a bad time. Because I had told him how bored and misreble I've been and we had fun =)
Today I am going to look at parts with my ex bf. It's really weird. But oh well. Hehe Atleast he is wanting to help me fix my jeep. I have to get that thing fixed soon.I plan on going out tonight too! WOO HOO
I will have fun. AND Happiness will prevail.
Peace Out!
Hey just felt like writing again. Not much is going on. I'm waiting on Brandon to come and pick me up to go look for parts. Other than that nothing. I talked to Andy and DAMN..... he is seriously MESSED UP. Like wayyy wayy worse than he EVER was.He is demented as fuck, he doesn't care about anything , every WORD that comes out of his mouth is negative. I feel bad. Real bad. He apparently has tried to kill himself 3 times now.I really care about him and I want him to be okay. Even though we aren't dating anymore, I still want him to be allright.He doesn't have regards for anything in life and that frightens me a little. He told me that he has lost like 4 friends in the past few weeks , because he is a complete asshole to EVERYONE. He was even pretty rude to me, but the thing is I know deep down inside he doesnt really want to be like that . I can just tell. I feel it. He was pretty down and hates life. Poor baby. He told me that Chris doesn't even want to talk to him anymore , becasue Chris thinks he is fucking phsyco. That's sad. And he is doing massive amounts of drugs, you should hear him talk...... His speech is slurred , he stutters, he can barely hold a conversation without probably hurting his head. Thats the way it sounds anyway.... *SIGH*
Poor ANDY! Even though he brings it on himself, I feel bad for him. I don't pity him at all, and there is a difference, but I feel sorry that he thinks that life can't get better and that he doesn't really give a shit if it does or not. THAT'S SAD.
Well, I'm gunna go for now.... Gunna go staighten my hair =) Peace Out for now!
June 17, 2002
Hey yesterday night turned UGLY. Me and mom got in a huge fight . I was just so sick of it all that i said screw it and I completely and totally cussed her out and told her exactly what i thought of her and how she parents me AND rachel. Needless to say , she didn't take it all too well.... But you know what? I think she KNOWS the suff I said was true, because I came back home after i left and was going to my room and i heard her crying in her room. She is complete denial about everything and it makes me MAD that she won't come to her senses and change. She makes everything sooo difficult. It makes me sad. It got the point where last night she told me not to come home after I left. But you know what? I told her this, I said you know what I messed up in my life, I've done some drugs, iv'e had some drinking problems, I even went to jail. BUT you should be there for me! I'm trying my BEST to handle life as it comes , I'm not looking for trouble ! I didn't even do anything wrong and I ended up going to jail. Sure it was wrong legally , but i wasn't thinking at the time and I had no CLUE that that house was going to be vandelized. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Ya know? Dad if he was still alive would of course be dissapointed with me , but he wouldn't hurt me like you do and he wouldn't not be by myside ever step of the way. Actually if he hadn't died I can ASSURE you my life wouldnt have even gone in this direction. I really really want to just scream.....
Well on a better note..... I have training today at West from 6 pm-10:30 pm. I hope all goes well with that. I will be getting a training bonus at the end of this week of $120! Yay. But that goes automatically to dum da dum!!! Summer school. English 3 honors must be made up. Tuesday I am going to get parts for my jeep. It's gunna cost me a pretty penny ( hah ) $900. But that is cheaper than getting another car. Anywho... I must be going for now.
Peace out
June 18 , 2002
Hey what's up? Not alot here. I'm bored. Not alot happened today. I had training again. That's it. I added some new stuff to the website check it out. Ummm, nothing else to write about. I'm gunna go for tonight.
Bye bye
Markelle
June 19 , 2002
Hey what's up ? NOt too much is going on here. I just met this guy I have been talking to . Matt. He is pretty cool. I didn't see him for long , we just took a drive. He had to be home for " 11 " I don't know either way heh.
Hey last night was fun and I ended up doing something with someone and it was pretty weird. I can't even put the name down becasue we both agreed that we don't want anyone to know. It was weird. And he is my friend... I'm confused...
Oh well I had fun for two nights in a row. I guess you can't do it all the time.
I don't have work tomorrow so that's cool maybe tomorrow night will be better . I'm gunna go for now I will write more later.
Bye
June 25, 2002
What's up? Not alot here. It's been happy days for the past 2 nights . I had soo much fun. But my head hurts now and I think it's time for a break. heh. I had training at West today again and it was cool. I have spent the night at Christina's house the past two nights in a row. And Tab came over and babysat us. It was cool.
Well, I don't feel like writing much more , so I will say bye bye for now.
bye bye
June 26,2002
Hey . Not alot to say. I had training today from my normal 6-10:30 pm and now I am sitting here at home doing absolutely NOTHING. I'm bored. Very much so.
I wish I had something to do but it's so late now, 12:08 am . It's too late to call anyone. Oh well. I guess I will go for now, nothing else to say .
bye bye
June 29, 2002
Hey . What's up? Not alot here. I'm really bored. Alot has happened these past few days.
First of all to tell you what happened to Scottie. It was soo crazy. She came home the other night and her parents were Rolling!!!! They admitted it to her and then the next day denied it! That is WEIRD. I don't know what I would do If i came home and found my mother rolling. Anyway, she ran away that night and stayed with Helly. The next day Tab and Josh were going to smoke with her and she went inside to get something and the next thing Tab said he heard was screaming and Scottie running out of the house yelling " help ". So she ran and jumped in Josh's car and they were attempting to drive off when her dad came and started banging on the car and chasing them on foot. In the process of driving off Josh completely fucked up his body kit. He was pretty pissed.
That night got better somewhat though.. I chilled with Brennan and Scotie and Tab too for awhile and we are had fun ( think what wheels do ). It was great we were all gutter punks walking around the neighboorhood all night long into the wee morning hours!
Anywho , im gunna go for now... I will write more later! bye
June 30, 2002
Hey . The journal is officailly null and void. I will not be writting in here anymore.
Peace Out
July 3,2002
Hey what is up? I have decided that I will continue my journal , just be careful what I write in here. I have been at Christina's house for the past almost week. We have just been chilling out here. It's been pretty quiet and I haven't really seen anyone else in awhile. I am still working on getting my jeep fixed and I finally found the last part that I need for my jeep! It was a steering knuckle and that is really cool. I have to reschedule my training for the last week of SHOPNBC at West and then I will have a job! Yay and I will have to work my ass off for awhile. I really need to get my cell phone reconected and for some reason that is going to cost me $400. OUCH. Oh well I need that thing. Then I have to pay my aunt back $250. AGHHH... Then I will be paying my mother back for all the parts and labour on the jeep. Another prolly $500. Goodness and then I have court coming up and I need a good lawyer. OUCH. Lots of money . I think West will be my new best friend. HEH
And I am also trying to get a job at Waffle House, I am not sure how that will work out. But anywho...
That is all I have to say for the time being. I will write more later I'm sure.
bye for now!
July 4, 2002
Hey. Things are pretty crappy here. I am back at home and I really don't want to be here. I have been online all day long adding random stuff to my website. Other than that I won't be doing anything for the 4th today. oh well. I am going to get offline for a little bit. I will be bacl on later.
Bye
July 5,2002
Hey all was a good night. I went with Lainey, Sean and Mandi and hung out. It was a good night. Untill I got home....... Then online I was talking to Muhamed and I found out that Hunter and Vaughn got in a wreck!
Vaughn is okay , but Hunter is not.
keilio: Hunter- he was coated this morning about 6 oclock which mean he isnt breathing or his heart stopped. his back broke in two places his lungs caved in, his neck is cut open, his skull in cracked open with internal bleeding, and his pelvis is broken in two places
Macabre Kitten: fuck
Macabre Kitten: is he going to live?
Keilio: i am notsure
That is my conversation with Brad... It makes me sick just to read it. Poor babies!!!!!!
I am going to go to the hospital tomorrow with some people to see what is up.
I am going to close this tonight with a prayer.
God, please let my friend Hunter live and help him to be strong and overcome this. And if you allow him that , please let his rcovery be as speedy and painless as possible. I love you , thank you...
July 7,2002
Hey what's up? Not alot is going on here. Yesterday ended up being fun. I thought I wasn't going out , but I ended up going out with Kacy and Landon. It was really fun. And I met this guy named Coery.......
Fun night did we have =)
Kacy brought me home this morning and then she went to work. Now I am here and doing nothing really but resting and I am tired.
LOL
*Yawn* So very tired. I am not sure what today will bring but I am gunna have to call Tab and see what is up with Hunter . I feel bad that I didn't get to go see him yesterday at the hospital like I had planned.
Well, I am going to go for now. Talk to you later! Bye!
July 9,2002
Hey what's up? Not much is going on here. Last night I spent the night with Roberta... Didn't really do anything. Another one of Chris' friends likes me. But he is not my type AT ALL. And anywho, I have had enough of Chris's friends liking me, I do NOT need a repeat of Andy. No thank you.
Tonight not much happened. I went over to Landon's apt and hung out with Kacey and Eric and Landon. Fun fun. I actually ended up passing out for most of the night. So now I am gunna be up again for another few days. Great. Just Great.
I wish that there was someone to talk to or something to do. I am so bored. I guess I will just mess around online and see what there is to do. Bye for now
Peace out
July 10, 2002
Hey. What's happening? Not too much here. Just sad.
I got an email from Chrstina today. I can never see her again , and she can't see any of her friends ever again. =(
"Maybe in another life
I could find you there
Pulled away before your time
I can't deal it's so unfair
And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you've gone away
Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
But black roses and Hail Mary's
Can't bring back what's taken from me
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
And if I could trade
I would
And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it stings
Yeah it stings now
The world is so cold Now that you've gone away"
-The Offspring
That's all I have to say for tonight.
I love you Christina.
July 12,2002
Hey what's up? Not too much here. I really can't wait for work to start ! Then I can start making money and put it away for my college! I also can't wait for this school year to be over with. I want to get away from things and get my life straight! I'm tired of trouble. It seems to follow me everywhere!
ANywho.. I need to go look at colleges right now I will talk to you later!
bye for now
July 15,2002
Hey what's up. Not too much is going on here.
Macabre Kitten: i have this horrible feeling heather
lilbit132004: bout what?
Macabre Kitten: that christina is going to stop loving me
Macabre Kitten: and things between us will be different
Macabre Kitten: and it makes me cry
I am really depressed about christina . I miss her so much. I heard that she pretty much blames us for what happened to her and that makes me sad too. We didn't force her to do anything... And if I remember correctly we all tried to make her stop with the coridian.(ccc) I wish that she wouldn't look for others to blame =( I know she is just upset and doesnt undestand and know what to think of what has happened, but I want her to know that I still love her , i would die for her.I want her to accept what has happened and try to understand that she has to take FULL responsibility for what has happened. I wish I could make everything better and make her mother not hate me. I really don't think it's fair.
I also wish I could make my own mother not hate me and understand what is really going on. She never listens hardly , just yells. I can only talk to her sometimes and then I think everything MAY be better and then it just goes back to the way it was.
blah,well i'm gunna go for now. I will write later im pissed off now.
July 16,2002
Hey what's up? NOt too much is going on here. I had fun with Tom after work last night. I have never really hung out with him before outside of school. I have training again tonight from 6-11 again and I really don't want to go !!
Well i don't feel like writing anymore so bye.
July 17,2002
Hey what's up?Not too much is going on here. I am bored and I am sad. I miss Chrsitina!!!!!!! When i have nothing to do and I sit and think I always sit and think about her. I wonder if she misses me as much as I miss her. I have a feeling she doesnt. Blah. I hate that thought. I want 5 months to be over so I can be with my best friend again. We can't let this absense of time let our friendship grow apart. I will not let it change anything. She will always be my bestest friend inthe whole world!
I LOVE YOU CHRISTINA!
It's really driving me crazy. I miss her so much.
I wish someone was online to talk to. Tomorrow me and heather are hanging out! YAY! I can't wait I missed heather!
well , i'm gunna go for now.
bye bye
July 19,2002
Hey what's up? It's like 5:30 in the morning and I can't sleep so I decided to write in here. I really wish that I had someone to talk to. I talked to Mandi for a bit , but now even she has gone to sleep.
Today Sean and Heather came and knocked on my door and woke me up. So we went and drove around and not much else. Then after Heather brought me back home I got ready to go to work. I had live calls in training and today I have more. Thank goodness this training is almost over. Andy said today that he may be able to weld my jeep so he will have to come and look at it on Sunday. I just need to get it up and running again. I miss my jeep.
Well , there was another note on t he door from the sherrif's dept. I really hope that they are just servicing me my court papers, but since my mother will never call them and take care of it I have no CLUE! That is pissing me off. She needs to call so I can put my mind to rest about the whole situation.
Oh well.
I have been thinking about it and I really like someone new but I know it would never work out so I am just gunna have to get that thought out of my head. Blah . The only people that like me like that are people that I wouldnt even think about doing anything with! Why can't it ever work out for me?!!! Oh well , I'm not one to worry about that kind of thing normally , so I'm not going to worry about it now!
I am tired of wrting now , so I will write more later when I get home from traning. ( Which is actually WAY later heh ) bye for now
July 20,2002
Hey. What's up? Not alot is going on here. It is 2:45 am and I can't sleep. What's new? The story of my life.I am so fucking depressed right now.I just dont think I can handle anything anymore. I don't want everyone to think I've flipped my lid , but I'm just so depressed and I can't hide it anymore.
I want someone to love me, I want warmth, I want a fucking normal life, with going to school , going to movies, going on dates, discovering new things. What I think I really want is innosence ( spelling? ) back. Maybe one that I don't think I ever had. I grew up way too fucking fast. I never have had a normal life. I hear my family apologize to me all the time " We are soo sorry Markelle that you have had such a shitty life. " ANd normally I think to myself "What are they talking about?" But you know what? They were right. I have had SUCH a shitty life. I'm FUCKING sick of it.Everyone says that they understand, but they don't. I don't ever say a FUCKING word, because I don't want to seem like I am complaining. But keeping all this inside of me is killing me. I really do love all my friends, but sometimes I get the feeling that they don't love me as much as i love them. All of them , Mandi , Lainey , Sean , Scottie etc... and there's more those are just the few names that popped into my head. If you guys are reading this don't be mad , just understand that Im crying my eyes out right now and I can't understand what this emotion that I'm feeling is.
I want a boyfriend, I don't care about sexual things, I just want someone to love me and be there for me to talk to . Or maybe I'm just blind and like all those phycologists say , I'm feeding off guys becasue I had no father figure in my life. Who knows? I DO know one thing for sure though. I'm sick of guys just wanting to fuck me. That's all they want from me! It makes me sick. I just want a geniunely good guy that will love me and be there for me. Is that too fucking much too ask?! But alas, I should allready know the answer to THAT question.
And BLAH !?!! SEE!! I am allready not "depressed" anymore!!! What the HELL is wrong with me? I'm such a manic depressive it's not even funny.
*sigh*
I do have to say though , that was short lived the " depression " is back again now. FUCK THIS. I have had enough of writing in here for tonight.
bye
hey its 4 am now and I have an update. ( Rather I feel like writing again ) I feel bad for doubting my friends... Mandi imed and talked with me and I feel OH - SO- MUCH - BETTER. Thank God . I hate feeling like shit. I just really may need to get on some medication to help me from feeling like this so much. It is such a horrible feeling that I KNOW i could live without.
Well, having updated this, I need some sleep...
I LOVE YOU MANDI! AND OF COURSE EVERYONE ELSE! I AM SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU GUYS. ...
July 22,2002
Hey whats up? NOt alot here. I had my first day of work from 4 midnight tonight. And It was okay. It is now 1:33 am. And i wish that it wasn't so cold.... and i wish that i had something to do.. I wish i would have stayed at work..... And worked more.....
there is really nothing much else to say for the night .... so i think i will go...... i may update later today.... bye
Hey it's like 4 pm and I am not doing too much. Just trying to kill time , untill I have to go to work at 7.
I got my court papers in today.... I am very nervous.
Well.... I am gunna go I am too nervouse to type anymore.
bye
July 23,2002
Hey what's up? NOt alot here. It is 12:35 am and I just got in . I rode my little sister's bike all the way to Coursey and then Tab ended up picking me up because my mother saw me riding over there and she got mad....
Blah blah blah... The night wasn't horrible , but the night wasn't great either. I'm feeling so very lonely and it's so pathetic. I really want a boyfriend and that makes me feel pathetic. I normally don't care or need one. I don't think i actuually NEED one i just want one. I really need to stop that bullshit . I DO NOT NEED A BOYFRIEND , I DO NOT NEED A BOYFRIEND... now if i only could belive it.........
=( i am so very lonely. I really am and it's driving me crazy.I miss my Christina so much. I really wish Heather would get online.. I need someone to talk to.
I need some one to love me. It's so horribly pathetic the way i feel tonight. I fear that i am slipping into a depression again. Becasue i thought i was fine the other night, but now i am getting incredibly depressed all over again.
i am also very concerned about court. i do not even have a lawyer yet. this could be bad for me. i do not even have anyone to represent me =( my mom doesnt seem to be concerned that much either and time is growing short. the court date is aug 15th and im so fucking scared. i don't want to get in trouble for something i didn't do. it makes me very sad. becuase on my court papers it says that i am being charged with breaking and entering AND Criminal damage to property! They told me that i wasn't being charged with that! =( so i am very confused. and scared. and lonely. and depressed. VERY DPERESSED. nothing seems to be making this pain go away . nothing anymore will help it . i can only hope that everything will be okay....
July 28,2002
hey.what's up? not alot here. i have been working ALOT... so much in fact that i feel quite dead... but that is okay.... i have to go back at 4 am this morning too..... ugghhhhhhh...... well i normally feel like writing more, but right now i am tired as a motherfucker. so ta ta for now.
August 2,2002
Ughhh hey what's up? Last night I got picked up by Scottie and Brennan and then we picked up Mitchel. Then I think Scottie got a little upset with me ( ?) i hope she didn't... and then they dropped me off at Russel's. Tab, Sean, Carl,Lainey, Samamntha , Brian, Hank and Rob were there.
Tab was doing Brak impersonations..... OMFG.... It was so hilarious. I love Tab that was just great. hehe
Anywho..the night was all cool. Then Russel brought me home later. So the night over all was not too bad....
I must go in to work later on and then I'm not sure what else the night will bring ... I think I have to work overnight ....... not entirely sure... and i forgot to print up a new schedule when I picked up more hours........
blah blah blah
on a sicker note.... the serial killer guy struck again last night.... almost killed yet another teen girl... why the hell can't he leave us alone? he needs to be caught.......
well that is all im gunna say for today, catch ya tomorrow! bye bye
Wekk I thought that was all i was gunna write but here is one more thing to read you guys...
Louisiana State Penitentiary has 3381 murderers and rapists behind its walls. Some of those criminals want to make amends for their wicked ways.
So, they wanted to offer insight into the mind of a predator, because of the high number of unsolved murders in Baton Rouge and a Monday afternoon announcement of a serial killer.
WBRZ wanted to speak with some of Angola's absolute worst to gather valuable safety information. Over the weekend a series of interviews were conducted with a serial killer, a serial rapist, kidnappers, and murderers.
We agreed not to reveal their identities. They agreed to give us a rare glimpse inside the mind of a criminal.
Here is some of the information they gave to WBRZ:
One rapist says he looked for women in tight clothing.
This kidnapper says he would prey on those victims who were alone. He says he would not attack two or more people.
A serial rapist says he would stalk people in order to learn their routines. He would then use that information to sneak into their garages and wait for them to get home.
A murderer says he would look for open windows on homes that were poorly lit. He would also look for entrances to the homes that were hidden by large plants or other objects.
Another kidnapper says he watched for opportunities where people in vehicles weren't paying attention especially at red lights.
One killer says he looked for people leaving malls, stores, and restaurants. He would look for people carrying a lot of packages. He also looked for those who parked far away from the establishment. And, he says he watched for those who dressed expensively.
A serial rapist who worked in a public setting says he looked for chances to get personal information from women who left their purses unattended. He says he would also make copies of their keys.
A former law enforcement agent turned rapist and murderer says he would use a fake light to pull drivers over. He recommends women not pull over in dark secluded areas for anybody.
The ATM machine is where one murderer says he picked his victims. He looked for vehicles with one person inside.
Outside of nightclubs and bars is where one rapist says he looked for his next victim. He watched for women who arrived and left alone. He would also look for those women who appeared intoxicated.
Many of the criminals talked about being in control. If they doubt having total control in the attack, then they would not move forward. Most of the inmates say they would avoid homes with dogs and alarm systems. And, they say well lit homes are deterrents.
Pretty sick huh? Just thought I would add that.. I am just really paranoid about that killer guy right now... I have a bad gut feeling ......
Okay okay so im bored... I took a quiz..
August 4,2002
Hey what's up? Not too much . It's like 6 in the morining. On the 2nd, me and Heather and Charles hung out ... It was cool.. We didn't do much , just chilled.
Then came the work factor , ( ughh west is a bitch ) then after that we ( me and heather ) chilled with Tom and made memories in the U. ( heather you know what i'm talking about ) . And i have worked wayyy too much in the past two weeks.... That's all I have to say. Oh yeah on another note, my jeep is home and ready to be welded and then a new radiator put in. Then it will drive down the road properly again!!!
Thank god! oh yeah and my mom is FIANLLY putting her car in the shop next week! THANK GOD!!!!!!!!! I am so happy about that.
but anywho... i am cold and i am still tired, so back to bed i go...... i may write more later...
August 5,2002
Hey whats going on ? not anything at all today. I have work at 6 - 12am. Ughh I can't wait till that crap is over with i hate working these stupid hours.
I can't wait for school to start actually I am ready to start the year. I have a feeling this year is going to be better than last year. it can't get any worse than last year. or maybe that was the summer.... ? either way, it's gunna be better i can feel it.
but its 1:09 pm and my grandfather is coming to get me at 5 to bring me to work. I have a new cousin now. His name is Dylan. I hear he is cute, but i havent seen him yet. He is 2 weeks old.
i talked to kacey earlier this morning and i do belive that we agreed that we are going to try to do something this week....
oh well other than that i don't have anything to say for today, nothing intresting has happened.... nothing new is going on... blah blah blah...
bye for today ( right now anyway )
August 6,2002
hey hey! what's going on? i am sooo happy!!! i am getting my jeep back tomorrow for GOOD! i will be going tomorrow to get registration and a new license plate for it =)
i am soooo happy!!!
Macabre Kitten: i can not explain the sheer joy that you have given me by repairing my jeep
Macabre Kitten: oh humble one
TripynHard: lol
TripynHard: ya damn skippy
TripynHard: that thing is fun
Macabre Kitten: i know * drools*
YAY for my jeep. and that is all i have to say tonight
August 9,2002
Hey what's up? Not alot here .. It is like 2 am and i am bored... i had work last night from 4pm-12 am. other than that not much else.... blah blah blah...
i want an extera!!! i think they are so pretty! hehe
don't see it happening anytime soon though...
today i am going with laura ( cool hippie chick from work to hang out and do stuffs! )
weeeeee!!!!!! new people are cool.
the jeep by the way way is needing more repair... it needs tuning up and cleaning up and the hole in the exhaust needs fixing.tomorrow also involves going and getting insurance and tags! i must do this! becuase i didn't get a chance to the other day. SUCKY
well... i don't feel like writing in here anymore for tonight. i am about to go look into getting a dead journal... i wanted a live one.. but yeah , it's not free..... so i'm gunna go check out dead journal right quick! i'm sure i'll write more later! bye bye for now
August 12,2002
Hey what's going on? It's 6:16 am and I am up.... very early... I can not go to school today , becasue I have to take care of court crap....
Bleh
Atleast I had fun this weekend. On saturday I went with Charles and his friend Emma, to Signals, it was lots o fun. It was a foam partayy! Weeee!
Other than that, the weekend was pretty much uneventful.... I am really bored right now and the day is going to suck....... Then it gets worse when i get to go to work at 7pm-12 am.... wow i am so thrilled...
well, bye for now.
hey , it's later and yes the day did suck...as a matter of fact , it sucked horribly all down to me taking a cab home from work tonight. goody..... i'm really bored so i am gunna go for tonight. bye bye
August 14,2002
blah today was blah... that's the only word that can describe how today felt....
my mom really dissapointed me .... she didn't get me put on the insurance! =( that means she said that i can't drive...... i need my jeep..... that really pisses me off........ and i'm sure she is reading this and you know what? i don't care anymore.....
if she can't understand that i NEED a car of some type for my senior year then fuck it.
she says that i have to prove to her that i should be able to drive... i guess i'm gunna have to prove it....
August 15,2002
Hey it's 1:14 am and court is today... at 9 am... I am really really tired, but i can't sleep anymore.... i am just so nervous that i am sick to my stomache...
i got alot accomplished yesterday and it made me feel good.
i got the cadeladic converter in the jeep replaced.... hung out with Tab this morning and brought him to work... straight up chilled with brennan for the first time again in awhile...payed that really cute guy back at alltell for the other day... and ATTEMPTED to find screws and washers for the jeep hard top... Oh well ya can't do it all....
i have to see avari today at 9..... it makes me really sick... i do not want to see him........
i think my mom is buying a camero..... whoop de doo.. great.. as long as i get to DRIVE something i don't care if it is a motorcycle... i will drive it...
sigh
court is gunna suck...
im gunna go for now.. im tired again and i need more sleep.........
ill update more later......
August 17,2002
hey what's up? not much happened today....
i went to landon's apt tonight and hung out with landon and kacey and jeff and this girl named jessica.
jeff is really cute......
anywho..... as an update on everything else that has been going on lately ...... my arraignment was okees , i guess... and my real court date is on september 24th... i am not happy i wish it was sooner , but oh well... as long as this is over with soon and people that don't need to get in trouble don't get in trouble... that will be a good thing.....
on another note , landon told me that christina is still doing the ccc
that makes me really sad.... if it is true.... and kacey said something about christina having heart problems???? bc of the ccc??? i am not sure , kacey wasn't sure either... she just said that mrs.pam said that to her...
either way i miss her so much! i need my daily dose of christina soon. i have been sober from her for awhile and i am having christina withdrawls.....
i will see her soon though.... i just have to be patient...
i am so glad that i didn't pick up any extra hours this weekend... i am enjoying just relaxing and being able to say wow i think im gunna go do this... instead of having to say " aww nope sorry i gotta go to work..." it's all good.... i am just babbling right now but that is okay . I am most likely going to landon's again tomorrow night so everything is all cool.
so for tonight... yeah i have written enough... im tired of journal.... bye bye
x. name = markelle pitre
x. age = 18
x. piercing = toungue, eyebrow,rook, and a 6 gauge in my ears
x. tattoos = none sadly
x. height = 5'2
x. shoe size = anywhere from a size 5-7
x. hair color = currently being described as neon pink maroon or something like that by all my friends
x. length = long
x. siblings = my 12 year old sister rachel
x. pets = i have a siamese cat named bunkies, but she is missing right now =( my cats always end up missing =(
x. movie you rented = ummm i don't remember
x. movie you bought = fight club on DVD =)
x. song you listened to = hot in herr- nelly ( hahaha)
x. song that was stuck in your head = ak1200 -drowning
x. song you've downloaded = i have a really crappy computer therefore i don't download
x. cd you listened to = ak1200
x. person you've called = brennan
x. person that called you = mitchell
x. tv show you've watched = i love movies but i rarely watch tv
x. you have a bf or gf = nope
x. you have a crush on someone = nope
x. you wish you could live somewhere else = yes actually with all the crazy people here ( aka serial killers and kidnappers ) oh yeah and the west nile virus... damn it sucks here!
x. you think about suicide = nope
x. you believe in online dating = no it's really stupid
x. others find you attractive = they say they do but i think they are lying...
x. you want more piercings = i want to gauge my ears more and get my lip peirced on the right side
x you want more tattoos = im sure i will want more as soon as i get my first one i hear that they are addicting !
x. you drink = occasionally
x. you do drugs = nooooo
x. you smoke = yes i love my newports!
x. you like cleaning = fuck no im lazy seriously cleaning is annoying
x. you like roller coasters = yes a lot
x. you write in cursive or print = cursive, or print when i am feeling like just scribling the shit down in a hurry
x. you carry a donor card = ????
against or for....
x. long distance relationships = no they never work and its just a waste of time
x. using someone = fuck no
x. suicide = stupid.
x. killing people = very agaisnt it
x. teenage smoking = well... since i do smoke then i guess im for it
x. doing/trying drugs = noooooooooo
x. premarital sex = don't care
x. driving drunk = don't do it ( knows from experience and have learned lesson )
x. gay/lesbian relationships = do what you want. who am i to judge?
x. soap operas = stupid bullshit
favorite...
x. food = i like lettuce ( jk i am picky and i dont feel like thinking about this question )
x. song = dunno this is a hard question i love music!
x. thing to talk about = music.
x. sports = i like tennis alot
x. clothes = band shirts, goodwill stuff, hoodies, god i love hoodies
x. movies = requiem for a dream, clockwork orange ,2001 space oddessy and other stanley kubrick films...
x. band = too many to list.
x. holiday = anything that gets me off school.
x. cars = if it runs it's good , but i partcularly want a hummer!!! not the new ones they are ugly as fuck!
have you...
x. ever cried over a girl = yes my best friend
x. ever cried over a boy = yes
x. ever lied to someone = no of course not, i model myself after our fearless leader george w. bush.
x. ever been in a fist fight = yes.
x. ever been arrested = yes this summer i added this to my list unfortunatly
what...
x. shampoo do you use = whatever i hear about that can help my badly damaged hair
x. shoes do you wear = black chuck taylor's and flip flops bc its summer
x. are you scared of = being lonely.
number...
x. of times I have been in love? = zero.
x. of times I have had my heart broken? = alot but once in particluar
x. of hearts I have broken? =alot unfortunately
x. of boys I have kissed? = ummm i dont remember this number was i supposed to have been keeping track?
x. of girls I have kissed? = dont remember
x. of men I've slept with? = ......
x. of girls I've slept with? = none
x. of continents I have lived in? = 1
x. of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? maybe 4 no offense to the others , but yeah...
,p>
x. of cd's that I own? not many they keep getting stolen or lost or something of that nature.....
x. of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = once when my father died
x. of scars on my body? = one on my left arm and right arm
x. of things in my past that I regret? = a lot of things.
friends...
x. funniest? they are all fucking hilarious but i love tab
x. loudest? ummm i would have to say chris
x. shyest? none they're all obnoxious :).
x. most trustworthy? the one or two close friends i have.
x. coolest? i know lots of cool kids.
x. best girl friend? christina , but heather and stacey aren't far behind i would have to say they are right up there too
x. best guy friend? i would have to say that brennan is it
i was bored so read that......
August 18,2002
hey what's up? not alot it's 1;09 am and i am just updating the journal and then going to sleep.... i got off of work at 12 :30 am tonight and i am tired... i have school tomorrow..
saturday night was fun... movie then hung out with emma , tab and ryan... ( chomp chomp ! heehehe ) lol but anywho , we went to signals after that and it was pretty cool. i had a really fun night . it was great!
but anywho, i'm tired and i have school tomorrow or today in a few hours so g'night!!!!!!!!
August 19,2002
hey today was a bad day. i thought at first that it was okay , but then the day got really crappy!!!
brennan and tab and ryan and melanie all got in trouble almost ......... oops....
then i got fired, from my job !!!!!!!! =(
blah blah bye bye for now!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 20,2002
hey what's up? not alot is going on here. I am bored... and i just finished doing my psychology folder thing. now it is 11:27pm and i am bored and not tired. i wish i had something to do .......
i talked to christina tonight and it made me happy =)
i miss her so much. these few months without her have been HELL.
well, there really isn't much else to say for tonight!
so..........g'night!
August 21,2002
hey what's going on? school was okay today ( i guess ) and nothing else really exciting happened today.im really bored and i wish i had something to do .
atleast i get to drive to school tomorrow! yay ! mom is off tomorrow and then everything is gunna be cool. =)
well there really isn't anything to write about tonight , so g'night!
August 22,2002
hey.... boredom.... i am gunna be up all night .... i have been sleeping since i got home today from school and that isn't good. i woke up at 9:45 pm and thought to myself "damn " ....
anywho... i can't wait till this weekend! i am soo ready to party!!! hehe i just want to have alot of fun, as much as possible, before bad news starts happening again and i get all dererssed and shit again.... beacuase i fucking hate being depressed!!!!!!
only a little over 2 months and i get to see chritsina!! i got to talk to her tonight for a bit! omg i want to give her a HUGE hug!!!!! i miss her soo. we are gunna try to see each other this weekend! i hope it works out .
well i don't feel like writing anymore tonight so bye bye
August 24,2002
well hey . whats up? not alot here. i just feel really sick. last night was a really weird night.... no more comments other than that......
it couldve been better.....
im going to get to see christina today!!!!!!! yay last time we didnt see each other for very long .
i will proabably go to signals tonight for a bit too and i don't know what else after that. so it's all good. just as long as i get to see my christina!!!!!!! i fucking miss her!!!!!!
but anywho, i have to go for now. i will write more later or tomorrow or something . bye bye for now!
hey what's up? i'm still here at home waiting on a ride. mom flipped out earlier when she got home and she went crazy and she was hitting on me and yelling and screaming at me and it was really horrible. i'm really tired of all the shit . i am trying to put my life back together and i can't possibly do it when she yells at me and treats me like that. it put me in a really depressing mood. and it doesnt even make it any better when she gave me money to go clothes shopping.... ( i know that sounds ver ungrateful , but its not . ) i mean , money does not buy a person love, or anything like that. all i wanted was for her to treat me with respect , not yell , act right and take responsibilitiy for everything. our house is a wreck .... i quit cleaning the messes a long time ago..... it became very frusterating ... so yes now i do not fool with the shit, and then i get yelled at to clean messes that i honestly do not make! then she feeds me lies that she will help and then she doesnt .. today i was all like mom i don't mind doing chores... what i mind is that you don't do anything to help around here. she REALLY didn't like that one! she the responded with well im the parent and im going to tell you what to do ... and your going to clean the house by yourself, you and your sister will clean it. and she keeps making me very sad, saying that she is going to revoke the bail or some shit and make me have to go back to jail! the threatening and all this stress is making me go crazy! i do not think i can handle this....all i want to accomplish this year is make good grades, get my jeep put in my name, and graduate and go to college and start a new life over in another state where i can not be misreble and sad about my mother all the time... i mean i love her and everything ....but COME THE FUCK ON, a person can only handle so much abuse and hatred in her life. and im not trying to get anyone to feel sorry for me, im not trying to make it look like i " have it bad and that im poor abused markelle " ( thats what my mom says that i am doing those were her exact words ) but i am just sad and talking about it makes me feel like people care and understand and that im not alone sometimes and i get to hear stories of other crazy parents.
but anywho, enough saddnes for tonight
i am going out soon and gunna have a blast ! i wanna dance and laugh and have fun and feel good =) so byeee byee for now!!!
August 25,2002
Hey . I had fun last night. I went to signals and it was great!!! ( total heaven ) dance dance lights lights! I swear, i'm becoming a junkie at that place!
I didn't get to see christina however =( and that makes me extremely sad. Oh well , i will get to see her soon! I swear or i will scream!!!!!!
well i am tired and need to recooperate in a bed so i can be rested for school tomorrow! so i will write more tomorrow! byeeeeee
August 26,2002
hey yeah today was okees... i went to school... blah blah blah blah!!! whatever....
tonight was cool, i hung out with emma and ryan and their friend steven... i got my summer reading book etc... the night was relaxed..
look at what this guy i know wrote ( blake )
There will always be a place for thee, when times are of the ethereal essential essence, to silence the emotions, and journey thyself in a whispering mannor to thee inner cell and release the extacic pleasure of human expired expantional experiences that connect our thoughts to our direct outtermost appearances------>This Magical and Mystic place of pure extacy and dreams of love, that I speak of, lies on the thin borderline of total pleasure that has no regrets....This
chance of invincibility is called a RAVE, or what I like to call HOME
So venture with me.....take the chance of never returning to your usuall state of mental normality.
i think its pretty good.... but with some more work it could be better i think perhaps its a bit too flowery ( if you know what i mean )
well i am bored of writing for tonight so now i must go! byeeeeee
August 27,2002
Hey what's up? I'm not doing anything special, just sitting here waiting....
If anyone is reading this and wants to make a donation... please contact me at starry_eyed_punkprincess@yahoo.com
the donation will be used towards purchasing a place for underage kids to go and go see bands play. Seeing as all the bands play at bars and there are no underage kid venues in baton rouge! Support the local music scene!! I really think this is a good project for me to start working on.. it will give me motivation and something to look forward to...
but anywho... there's really nothing else for me to write about so I have to go for now... I will write more possibly later!!!
What's *Your* Sex Sign?
