My Fucked Up Life
Part 5
6-20-03
I finally got a live journal. I know I said I never would, but I am desperately in need of space and it was my only option. You can view it here Hope you like it. Read the funniest thing in the world. Once More, With Cursing Harry Potter meets the Buffy Muscial. GENIUS!!!!!!!
6-17-03
I've taken about six shpwers in the past two days. I don't know what I'm trying to wash away, but somewhere I know that it won't go away with Ivory soap and Suave shampoo. I looked at the sky tonight and saw nothing but darkness. The stars didn't even register in my mind. I didn't see millions of stars on a dark background. I saw a blanket of pure black covering the light so that only pinpricks survive few and far between. I don't know what to do. I'm at a complete loss. Maybe I should start taking my medication again. I haven't been needing it but I think it would help a little now. I don't know. Help.
6-17-03
I hate my job. If anybody I work with reads this, you can quote me on that. I'm tired of those fascist bastard who want to push their shitty merchandise and when they don't because the public realizes, "Hey, this is shit!" they blame it on who? Not the manufacturers who make it, not the stockers who drop it and break it, but ME!!!!!!!!!!! It all seems to boil down to me at the end of it all. I'm doing something wrong, I'm not pushing the merchandise, I'm not selling the product. You think I run the fucking store with all the responsibility I have. I have permission to quit and I'm taking it as soon as I can. I'll go work somewhere else where they can see me for what I am. A TEENAGER!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not God, I'm sorry to say, so stop expecting me to do everything!
6-15-03
Happy Father's Day everybody. Gave my dada a stupid card, like always. But at least I bought this one with my own money. Then I had to go to work because my job sucks ass. I'm going to quit soon as soon as I get another job. I'm thinking of going to an even bigger store to where I wouldn't have to do as much. I hate it that my work doesn't have ANYBODY, therefore they make me do everything, then they get mad if I don't do it fast enough. That's too much pressure and unneeded stress for one manic depressive teenager to take. As soo as I get my feet on the ground, I'm going to run like hell until I can't run anymore, then I plan to drive. I don't know what that means but it just popped in my head so I thought that I would write it down before I forgot it. But, hey, look at all the space it's taking up just with me typing whatever is coming out of my head onto the keyboard. POOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all. Thank you.
6-13-03
I'm running out of disk space boys and girls. Whatever shall I do?
6-3-02
Parents are curious creatures. They are more understanding than previously thought. I had a talk with my mom and she really put things into perspective for me. No, this is not going to turn into one of those "I love my mom" speeches, but I thought I should let y'all know. Getting stuff off your chest is good. Well, I have to work at like the butt-crack o' dawn tomorrow so I better get some sleep. I'll see youz guyz laterz.
6-2-03
Sometimes I really hate guys. They can be so mean and then so nice and your never quite sure when they will turn from one to the other. I wish I knew. It's especially worse when they're around a bunch of their friends. They might steal kissy face looks at you, but when their buds are looking they treat you like total and utter she-it. I'm reading this awesome book that I bought at the mall when I was in Hattiesburg and it's called Gingerbread. This chick is sixteen years old and carries around a doll that her real father gave her when she was five. She lives with her step-dad and mom, whom she can't stand and goes to find her real-dad and half-siblings and it's really kewl. She's addicted to coffee and is into self-mutilation and knows the heartbreak of shitty boyfriends. I'm almost done with it though. Shame. But I still have some more books to read while I am off of work for a record two days. I hate work. It's starting to effect my moods and........ everything. I'm starting to feal depressed again. Well, I'll bounce and finish my book. For sheezy my neezy.
5-29-03
I'm back home now........... I'm depressed. I know that that does not come as a shock to everyone but this time I have good reason. Do people ever tell you that the reason things happen is because God has a plan for us all? I wish that every once and a while he would give me an incite as to what that plan is. I'm on the verge of giving up. I just don't understand why things happen. If it is all part a plan, then when do we see the fruits of our labor? I'm not dissing God or anything, that would get me in a lot of trouble with a lot of people, but I just don't get it. Sometimes life is just confusing and I want to crawl under my bed and hide for days until it all goes away. ::Crawls under bed:: I just don't know if I can take it anymore. ::Sucks thumb::
5-28-03
I'm visiting my sister for the two days I actually have off of work. We went to the mall today and I spent over $50 on books. I feel a little stupid, but I figure it's better to do it now then slowly over time. I don't know if that makes a difference or not, I'm just trying to make myself feel better. I bought the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy because everyone tells me that it's really good. And I bought the Vampire Encyclopedia. I was this close I------I to buying Grey's Anatomy but I decided against it in the end. I also bought two other books whose names escape me for the moment. I'll know them when I go back downstairs to watch Kung Pow again. Tomorrow we are going to go to a craft shop to see if they have button makers because I really want one. I'd be like that chick on Empire Records and sell them for profit. That would be kewl. My sister said the funniest thing today that will be appearing on the secrets of life as soon as I can stop typing this and put it up there so you people might want to go and check that out. Well, I'm going to away with me so I'll talk to you suckas later. Snoogens.
5-27-03
Eeeeee!!!! I was messing around with the monitor of my com and I turned the screen really tiny. It's so cute, all the buttons are itty bitty and the arrow is little!!!! :) I'm easily amused. You know what I hate? TV controllers. They fucking piss me off. But that's another story. I went to Goodwill today and I bought a Celebrity Deathmatch shirt that is too small for me and a new soft comfy black pillow for my bed. It's so soft and smooth. I love it. It's like 12:35 and I had nothing to do so I thought I would come online and check to see if I got mail. I don't. I also got some new pictures of famous serial killers for my desktop. Fun, fun, fun. Well, I'm going to hit the pages now, so I'll catch you people on the flip flop. See yaz. Snooch to the Nooch.
5-25-03
Okay, geocities officially sucks monkey ass. I tried to make a page on there and their shit is so confusing, it's no wonder no one ever goes there. I guess I'll just have to look elsewhere to find more space for the site. Right now I'm watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I have to go to work in like five minutes and I thought I would grace you all with my words of wisdom. I would just like to say "jellybeans" "heterosexual" and "potholes." Those are the words for today. Snoochie Booches.
5-22-03
Doe Puppy is graduating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy.
I cannot express it in words. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You should see him in his little cap and his little gown, it's so cute. You can see him here. Okay I think I'm finished now. See you guys later. Bye. Snoochie Booches.
5-11-03
Things just keep getting weirder and weirder. Last night I took my sister's car to go out to eat, then I brought Doe Puppy home and on the way it ran out of gas so I had to ask this dude if I could use his phone and of course no one was home because my sister had taken my car. The guy let me use his phone and put a half a gallon in the tank and gave me some money to put more in so that I could get home. I never thought there were any people around here that were that nice. Dont' worry, I'm not getting all mushy on you guys, but I am a little happy about that. I'm going to go over to that guys house again and give him some money back and thank him again. Never again will I let my sister borrow my car and take hers instead. I have to go to work today, even though I don't want to. I was up all last nigth reading Harry Potter fanfiction. You would not believe the shit I read. Who would have ever thought Harry and Malfoy getting it on in the shower. I was spellbound, I'll tell you that. Maybe I'll write some of my own when I finally get finished with all the other shit I have to do. I still haven't finished with the report from English class that is due in like three days. I really should be working on that but instead I am talking to you fine people before I have to go to work. Well, I guess I better get going, maybe I'll go work on my report a little and then read some more fanfiction about Harry and Malfoy doing the hibbity-dibbity. Peace out. Snoochie Booches.
5-9-03
There was a fight in school today. One of the guys that was in the fight is supposed to be in the play today so pretty much the whole play is screwed because he was a really important character. I have to go to work today and I really don't want to go. My hand hurts like a motherfucker and I have a report that I have to work on for English and I'm not even half-way done with it. I'm really glad that I'm off tomorrow. It's me and Doe Puppy's five month anniversary. I don't know what we are going to do but I'm glad I don't have to go to work. I'm going to go now because we're about to go to the play that is going to hell in a handbasket as we speak. Snoochie Booches.
5-5-03
I'm watching the Blair Witch Project again. Nothing special.
5-3-03
GOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING!!!!!!! It's 7:45 am, and do you know where I am?!?!?!?!?!? GETTING UP FOR WORK!!!!!!!!!!Yet another thing to be depressed about about my job. No more sleep for poor Morphine. NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I really need to clean the Dungeon. Maybe I'll do that when I get home. I got two new movies the other day. I got Jawbreaker and The Never Ending Story 2. You got to love that $5.88 rack at Wal-Mart. That's right, I said WAL-MART!!!! The exact opposite of where I work. I need a drink. The song for today is "Adam's Song" by Blink 182.
5-2-03
I don't think Doe Puppy and I are going to make it much longer. I don't know what it is. I think he is finally getting tired of me. He never wants to be with me and never wants to do anything. That's what the other asshole used to do. I got paid today. It wasn't as much as I thought it would be. Yet another thing to wrong in my shitty life.
4-14-03
I'm sick today. I'm all stuffy and sniffly and stuff and I hate it. Doe Puppy's making me some tuna and I'm typing on the computer while trying to keep my nose from running all over the place.
4-13-03
I hate life sometimes. I just want to die and never look back. Everything seems to go wrong right when I think that it's getting a little better. It sure is a kick in the nuts when things suck like they do. I finally got a job, but I don't know whether to be happy or depressed about that. On the one hand, money. On the other hand, no time to myself. I hate this.
4-9-02
4-6-03
I finally got all the pictures I wanted up here. I really can't talk for long. I have school in about 6 hours so I'll just say Snoochie Booches and be on my way. Check out my pictures page. We are now starting "A Streetcar Named Desire" in English, so I might have pictures of that soon. Ciao.
4-3-03
I haven't written in a while. I really haven't had muc of a chance. My friend Tara is in the hospital. It's really bad, she's bleeding internaly and she has an IV shoved in her arm and everything. Doe Puppy and I went to the Military Ball and got pictures and stuff so that should be up here soon and we finished "The Crucible" so those'll be here, too. This week I have pretty much been doing nothing but going to hospital to see Tara and writing odes about everyone in my third period. It started out as an ode about my math book and everyone liked it so much that they wanted on written about them so that's what I did today instead of my school work. I'll put those up here, too.
3-26-03
Today was a good day, I think. I got to check out of school but I had to go to the dentist. Then I went to the mall and bought two kewl new books and showed my mom the wonder that is Hot Topic and told her I wanted everything in that store. I will be putting up more pictures soon. We're doing "The Crucible" in that really kewl English class that I have. We have to act it out in class and we made these raggedy costumes and I just stood there clicking away on the camera at all the funny parts. As soon as we finish Act IV I will put the pictures up here. I'm also trying to find the script to that play online to where I don't have to type the whole thing out so I can put the pictures next to the appropriate lines of the play. Well, I have to go now. I shall see all ye within the morrow. The song for today is "Skater Boy" by Avril Lavigne. I was listening to the words and it reminds me of Doe Puppy and I. It makes me want to go up to this chick from his past and sing it right to her face. It's an awesome song.
3-21-03
Sick day today. I had this killer head ache this morning and didn't go to school. My sister is coming down this weekend. Yay!!!!! I'm watching The Blair Witch Project. I've never seen it before, just the second one. It's just as stupid as everyone said it was. This chick is the stupidest fuck in the world. I wouldn't go to the store with her for fear of getting lost without hope of escape even with the big fucking EXIT sign at the top of every door. I'm glad that tomorrow is Friday. Well, I have to go to bed so I can actually get up tomorrow. Goodnight all.
3-17-03
Look, Doe Puppy, I updated!!!!!!!!!
3-13-03
I really don't know what to say. Nothing exciting has been happening. I'm still on the job hunt and I'm starting, no, continuing to lose confidence. There is nothing to do. I've been excepted into the yearbook for next year and I am really in need of severe amounts of chocolate.
3-12-03
I was riding down the road tonight taking Doe Puppy home and I was wondering where all the other cars on the road were coming from. I know that some are getting off of work or going to get last minute groceries or just passing through to get somewhere else, but it still made me think off all the people who were coming from a human sacrifice. I don't know what made me think of it but I did. Anyway, I'm finally reading the Harry Potter books. I was tired of everyone getting on my case about it. I'm watching Stephen Lynch. He is the funniest man in the world. Well, I'm off to bed. It's about one in the morning and I have school in the morning. See you all in the future.
3-06-03
One of the weirdest movies in the history of the world has got to be Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
3-03-03
I'm at Tara's house!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!! We're updating the secrets of life and stuff. Woo Hoo. Tara would like to say something. Hello, everyone.... it is I.... Tara!!! I did not die at the end!! Thank you. That was Tara. Well, bye.
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