Funny musings

This page will have quotes, questions, comments, and maybe some situations that are of a funny or goofy nature. I think that most of them are pretty amusing anyway...maybe you will to. If you've got some of your own that you'd like to share then send me a mail and I may post them. You'll get the recognition of course. If you see a comment that doesn't have a source for where it came from, that's because I don't know what it is!

Or you can just go back to one of these pages!

Contemplations Philosophy Miscellaneous ponderings Religious contemplation & griping

Here's some stuff by George Carlin to start off with!

1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila, floor!

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

Why are hemmorrhoids called "hemmorrhoids" instead of "assteroids?"

Why do some people say that some men suffer from premature ejaculation? Shouldn't it be stated as "women suffer from premature ejaculation" after all it's the women who are getting cheated by the mens short cummings!
Source: "my wife" I think she heard something like it from a comedian on tv.

If you want to catch a mouse, make a noise like cheese!...(Yeah!!! There's an intelligent thinker).

Here's a few animations that I thought were hilarious!

Constipation

Taco Bell Dog

Doughboy Shitz

Here is something for those of you who have ever mistaken Ex-lax for regular chocolate.

	Do you realize what you've done? You can't even begin to comprehend what you've invoked!
Now you must feel the consequences of your actions! There is no escape nor is there a return from the darkness I'll create within you until it has ran its full cycle! There is absolutely, NO HOPE!

You'll regret ever being deceived by the illusion of what you thought I was!

Fear me PUNY MORTAL, for my name is...

"DIARREAH!"

Source: "Me" I was really bored today.

Yes....these are the same links that are at the top of the page.

Contemplations Philosophy Miscellaneous ponderings Religious contemplation & griping

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

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