Chapter 4
“He’s an asshole.”
“He’s not an asshole,” Jill sighed.
“He’s an asshole,” her friend Cammie said decisively.
“Cam, may I remind you once again that this is my boyfriend you‘re talking about?”
“Certainly, if I can remind you once again that I have no idea why.” Jill sighed again but said nothing as she made the short walk from campus to their apartment with Cammie. Defending Steve to Cammie was a lost cause, yet she still attempted it every time a disparaging remark crossed her roommate’s lips. “Jill, seriously, that was just cold.”
“He was busy, Cam.”
“Too busy to come by and tell you in person that he can’t take you out for your anniversary?” Cammie asked incredulously. “Jesus, he only lives three buildings down. If my boyfriend ever did that to me I’d come after him so fast-”
“Lightning would be jealous,” Jill finished with a smile.
“Exactly.”
“If all he had time to do was leave a message on the machine then that’s all he had time to do. What am I supposed to do? Hunt him down?” She looked at Cammie, whose face screamed that that was the only thing to do. Despite her sadness, Jill laughed. “I leave the violence to you.”
“Can I hunt him down?” Cammie asked excitedly.
“No.”
“Then what the hell good is it leaving the violence to me?” she muttered. Jill laughed again and they entered the building. Climbing the three flights to their floor, Jill headed directly to her room while she heard Cammie push the play button on their answering machine and Steve’s message start.
“Hey Jill, it’s me-”
“The asshole,” Cammie popped in.
“I know tonight’s our thing and all-”
“’Thing’?! Your anniversary, you idiot!”
“But I just found out Matt’s gonna be in town and the guys wanna go out and shit-”
“The asshole brigade!”
“So can we reschedule? Thanks babe, talk to you later. Much love at ya!”
Jill emerged from her room to see Cammie staring at the machine disgustedly. “’Much love at ya’? What is that?”
“It’s Steve’s way of saying I love you.”
Cammie grabbed Jill’s shoulders. “You realize you deserve better than this, right?” Jill shrugged. Although she was trying to seem unfazed, this was really bothering her. Sure, Matt was Steve’s best friend and he lived two states away, but he had just assumed that cancelling was all right. Furthermore, she had heard from Jason (one of Steve’s “guys”), that Matt would be in town all week. Why couldn’t it wait? Why couldn’t - just once - Jill have taken priority? It was their six month anniversary. Was it so much to ask?
She shook her head slightly and headed for the computer, not sure of what she’d do when she got there but knowing some relief lie within the pixels. “Ooo, see if we got any hate mail,” Cammie suggested, “then write really bitchy letters back.” Cammie had nothing to do with the page but because Jill made reference to her on it rather frequently, she had taken on ownership.
“Good idea. I was just going to make Brian’s girlfriend dump him again.”
“Live vicariously much?” Cammie asked, giving Jill a sly smile. Jill flipped her off, although that was the complete truth. Every time Steve upset her in some way Jill made one of her Boys suffer. Jill checked in to her email and was surprised to see that she had another message from Jean Thomas, complete with attachment. She scrolled through the message quickly, then downloaded the file. Bracing herself, she began reading.
Chapter 1
“Fuck you! God! Why do you do this to me? Why?”
A door slammed. A wall was pounded.
“Every God damn time-- God!”
Papers were thrown. Another door was thrown open and slammed.
“I can’t believe you!”
Nick stopped his verbal rampage upon reaching his room and he looked frantically for something else to upset. To hurt. Hurt like he hurt. An overflowing laundry basket sat on the corner of his bed and with one swift knock he toppled it, scattering dirty laundry across the hardwood floor. He kicked at the clothes again and again. When his reflection caught his eye he paused. His face was red and puffy, his eyes wild. His hair stood on end and his chest rose and fell sharply with his ragged breathing. “I can’t believe you,” he hissed bitterly. The “you” was different now - it was no longer her he couldn’t believe, it was himself. His empty house should not be the only thing to hear of his unhappiness, but as always it was.
Nick bent to collect the laundry, touching it almost reverently as he placed it back in the basket. Tears clouded his vision as he went about the simple task; he wiped at them angrily. “Stupid,” he accused. “You’re stupid to cry. It’s petty. It’s petty to cry about this.”
All she’d done was cancel out on their sixth month anniversary date. Was that such a crime?
“Yes!” Jill blurted out. Cammie’s head jerked in her direction. She let out a small laugh. “Oh, uh, this chick was asking if it was so wrong to find Nick the hottest,” she made excuse, rolling her eyes. Cammie made a face.
“Oh. Well then I don’t blame you for yelling.”
Jill turned back to the screen and tore through the story. She could have been reading the story of she and Steve’s relationship. This was a Nick she could sign on with - not a Nick she could ever write, he was much too close to home for Jill’s comfort - but a Nick she could enjoy. Just like her Nick smothered everything down, making no mention of his true feelings until he was all alone. Alexis (Nick‘s girlfriend - the similarity between reality and fiction did not pass her by), like Steve, was not a bad person; she simply lived for herself and when that coincided with what Nick wanted, all the better. If not, so be it. This Jeannie, whoever she was, had a mastery of words, scene and emotion. Jill would have been jealous had she been able to feel anything but the desperate need to get through the story. When she had finished the nearly fifteen pages, Jill found that her heart was pounding. This was good. She had to have more. Hurriedly setting up a new email message she began her reply.
Jeannie,
WOW. That is all I can say. I’m normally far too bitchy to be generous with praise, but this is good. This is excellent. I almost felt as if I was reading the story of my relationship--
Jill paused, then deleted that last line. That was too much, somehow. Jeannie was offering up a pathetic Nick, a Nick that you were to pity, not respect. Jill couldn’t let it be known that this was her story too. Not yet.
There were only a few tiny flaws caught my eye as I read, and they were so minute that they hardly warrant mentioning. Of course, even if only to make myself feel better I’ll mention them anyway. :) It was honestly fabulous, Jeannie - I must have more...
Chapter 5
