Howie
I was thrown completely off course after seeing George. After two years of nothing she’d just resurfaced, and I’d had no time to prepare - no warning, nothing. And it was obvious that she hadn’t expected to see me at all either. It hurt that she hadn’t had any idea what was going on with me. It hurt that obviously Brian hadn’t found need to introduce her to us at all. But the part that hurt the worst was that she wasn’t back because of me. She was Brian’s now. No matter what happened things would never be the same. After she and Brian left our room AJ looked at me.
“Shit, bro - she wasn’t just a friend, she was your best friend, wasn’t she?” he asked. I nodded numbly. “And now she’s with Brian?”
“I guess so.”
“I know so - he kicked me out of my room for her,” Nick reminded us.
“You two were best friends?” Kevin reaffirmed.
“Since middle school.”
“Did you know she and Brian were together?”
I shook my head. “We haven’t talked in awhile.”
“How long awhile?” AJ questioned. I let out a deep sigh.
“Two years,” I said quietly. Both Kevin and AJ looked surprised.
“Two years?!” AJ repeated, shocked. I nodded, wishing suddenly I was all alone. That was rare, I wasn’t an alone type of person, but this interrogation was not what I needed.
“What happened?” Kevin asked. I shrugged and resumed packing.
“It’s a long story.” I saw him and AJ exchange looks but they didn’t ask me anything else, which I appreciated. Soon Nick and Kevin wandered back out, leaving AJ and I alone.
“This really bugs you, doesn’t it?” he finally asked, taking off his sunglasses and looking at me. I wanted to just play it off but AJ had known me long enough to see right through that - not that it was really all that hard, because I was a pretty shabby liar.
“Yeah it does. It’s hard to just see her after two years and to see her with Brian, you know?”
AJ nodded. “Why’d you guys stop talking, man? I mean, two years is a long time with no contact, especially if you’re as close as you two were. I used to think you two were gonna hook up, the way she came to all your auditions and everything.”
I knew I’d end up telling him eventually, but that just wasn’t the right time. “Mind if I plead the Fifth for now?” I requested, smiling. He smiled back.
“Not at all. Only ‘cause I know you’ll end up tell me eventually.” His smile took on a malicious edge. I made a face.
“If you’re lucky,” I corrected.
“With you, Howie, I’m always lucky.” We both stopped. “That sounded really bad,” he laughed and I joined him. He headed for the door, punching me in the arm lightly as he passed. “I’m gonna go harass Kev for awhile, I’ll see you later.”
“See ya.” The door closed and I laid down on the bed. My mind was foggy and I had no idea how to clear it. I had tried, for the past year and a half after hearing nothing, to erase Georgie from my memory - not because I wanted to, but because it hurt too badly to keep thinking of her. The sound of her name was enough to make feel guilty and sad all over again. Seeing her had nearly levelled me. I’d thought when she hugged me that things were forgotten, but as she stood with Brian I’d seen it all resting right behind her eyes. She was downright uncomfortable standing there, and she had been relieved when Brian mentioned leaving. I felt lower than dirt. I glanced at the clock. We had an hour and a half or so til we left for our show that night and headed for Green Bay. I decided to head to the small restaurant connected to our hotel and get something to eat, to try and get my mind off things.
The cafeteria-style restaurant was all but empty, save two people towards the back. When I got closer I saw it was none other than Brian and Georgie. They sat close, and George was smiling at Brian, whose back faced me. He reached up and pushed her hair behind her ear, his hand lingering on her cheek afterwards. She reached up and messed his hair playfully, and he grabbed her wrist and kissed her hand. She looked at him then and leaned over to kiss him. He kept hold of her hand and they continued talking and eating. It was such a private moment I felt almost guilty for having been there, but what I’d seen made my stomach lurch and my face feel hot. She was so undeniably happy looking at Brian, like he was the only person in the world she needed. He looked at her the same way, I’d seen it earlier. My stomach tightened and rolled even more as I continued to watch them in their own little world. Suddenly, as if picking up on my vibes, Georgie looked away from Brian and at me. Something washed over her, as if she had to restore her common face for the rest of the world - the rest of the world that now included me - then she smiled. Brian turned to see what she was looking at, then grinned when he saw it was me.
“Hey D,” he called. “Come join us.”
I put on a grin. “OK, just a second.” I went for the counter and pointed out a few things, then paid and headed for their table. George was still smiling as I took a seat. “You two sure I’m not interrupting?”
“Not at all,” Brian assured me.
“How are you?” George asked. I put on my fake grin again.
“Pretty good. How about you?”
“Fine.” There was a pause. “So this is the group you got in, huh?”
“Sure is.” God, this hurt. Just then Brian shivered.
“I’m cold! Are you cold?” he asked George. She shook her head.
“I’m fine.”
“You, D?”
“I’m fine too.”
Brian stood. “I guess I’m just strange. I’m gonna go get a sweatshirt or something, I’ll be right back.” He gave me a smile as he walked away, leaving me to wonder whether or not this was intentional. George was staring down into her iced tea, but then she gave me a smile. There was a cautious edge to it, though, which sent another wrench into my gut.
“So here we are, huh?” I said, smiling as best I could. She nodded.
“Here we are.” She studied my face. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it.” It wasn’t a question.
“Too long.” A long pause. “How’ve you been, Georgie?”
She shrugged. “Good. I’m living in Gainesville now-”
“Going to U of Florida, I heard,” I finished. She nodded.
“Yeah.” Another pause. “And you? Just busy with the group?”
“Yeah.”
“How’s your family?”
“They’re fine. How about yours?”
“Good. Mark’s engaged.”
“Is that right?” She nodded. “That’s awesome.” We were quiet again and I couldn’t help sighing. George sighed at the same time and we looked at each other. I decided to try again, taking a deep breath. “So do you have a roommate or-”
“Howard,” George interrupted, staring down at the table.
“What?”
“I want...I mean...I didn’t even know...” She looked me straight in the eyes and I saw the unshed tears there.
“What?” I asked again, quieter this time. She shook her head and looked down at the table again.
“Forget it.”
“No, Georgie,” I said, a little more desperately than I would’ve liked. Her head jerked upwards again sharply. “I can’t forget it,” I continued gently. “It’s been almost two years and I’ve missed you and now you’re here and I can’t forget it.”
Georgie watched me for what seemed like an eternity, then finally nodded. “I know. I...I missed you too,” she admitted, and I tried hard to ignore how pained doing it made her look. “But don’t force things.”
“What do you mean?” I knew exactly, but if playing dumb kept her talking I’d gladly do it. I’d forgotten, though, just how well she knew me because the question brought on a tiny, I’m-humoring-you smile.
“If we can’t talk right this second then that’s OK, you know? We don’t have to force things to feel comfortable. I kinda hope I’ll be around for awhile.”
“I thought you were only here for a week?”
She looked offin the direction Brian had disappeared in and smiled dreamily. “I am,” she said simply. I looked that way too, and almost like magic Briuan reappeared. I glanced at back at George to see her mile widen.
“Oh,” I said, just as simply.
“All better,” Brian announced as he neared, wearing his standard Tates Creek Commodores sweatshirt, “much warmer now, although...dang!”
“What?” GeoRge asked. Brian shook his head.
“I should’ve just changed into costume, being that we have like, ten minutes, as I now see,” he replied, looking up at the clock.
George laughed. “Nice job, country boy.”
“’Scuse me, missy, but my daddy waren’t havin’ no clocks in the barn I was a-raised in - that time thang’s frightful confusin’,” he drawled. Georgie laughed again. Brian picked up their trash and held his free hand out to her. “Wanna come back upstairs with me?” he invited.
“No.”
He pouted. “An-nie.”
George rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She rose from her seat and took his hand in both of hers, casting a look and a smile back at me. “I’ll see you later, Howard.”
I put on a smile too. “See ya, Georgie.”
“Annie,” Brian stressed as he dumped the trash. “All this George stuff makes me feel like I’m in love with a man.” He made a disgusted face then gave me a wave.
“You mean you didn’t know?” George asked as they walked away.
“No, but it works out OK...as long as the name Brianetta doesn’t bother you.”
Georgie’s laughter rang out again and Brian leaned over to kiss her cheek. George began skipping, pulling Brian along with her, and the sounder of their laughter seemed to echo long after they disappeared. I looked down at my food, picking at it half-heartedly.
After two years I finally had my best friend back - or at least had a start. Sure, I had other close friends, but no one in my life had ever understood me quite as well. Nothing had hit me harder than when she had pulled herself out of my life. Now she was back, and willing to give me a chance. So why was it I felt so sick?
Because, I realized, never had I made her laugh like that. Never had I gotten such reckless and heartfelt affection from her. Never had I seen her so goddamn happy...and beautiful.
And never had I been so jealous of someone like I was of Brian.
Never, in all my life.
Chapter 4
