BBS - "Big Bag of $h!t" - a fairly generic term that can be applied to just about any large piece of cumbersome "carry-on" that isn't really luggage.  Like a handbag the size of a Buick seat cover or a hockey bag or scuba bag or even a trash bag that some poor slob is using for a suitcase.  More often than not it's bags of drek the idle rich have purchased and are now at a loss as to how they will get it home.  I got one word for those morons - UPS..........
 
 
 

Carry-On Armadas - generally speaking, it's any suitcase that even a four year old can guess is too godamn big to be taking on the plane as "carry on".  I've seen it all - from an Asian guy with 5 full size suitcases that showed up 5 minutes before they were about to shit the door to a "gnarly blond haired surfer dude" (GBHSD) who showed up with his wet suit/scuba gear bag.  If you've not seen one of these bad boys - they are sorta like  duffel bag - but they're about 2 and a half feet square on either end & about 4 feet long.  They have lots of areas that are merely nylon mesh screens so that said GBHSD's crap can bang around in the overhead & cover all of your stuff with sand and funk from the ocean.  Totally bitchin', dude!
 
 
 
 

COI (CsOI) - "Captain(s) Of Industry!" - to be uttered with authority, these are the guys (for the most part) and occasional gals who, due to their high ranking positions within their receptive companies and the associated number of corporate minions willing to lick their a$$ese, believe that they are "The $h!t!" - that they need to be first, get the most overhead storage, the best seat, the first crack at the exit, etc.  Yes, it's true - but the Captain of Industry forgets one very important thing - to ME he is nothing but another pushy a$$hole with a wrinkled suit that can't be bothered to check his godamn bag even though it's the size of a steamer trunk.  These guy's won't excuse themselves when passing you - and forget one of them moving aside to let you pass.  God forbid you should come upon a "gaggle" - that's 2 or 3 Captains of Industry - talking in a convenient locale at the bottom of a stairwell or center of a hallway.  Oh - and yes, you WILL wait for them to get their suit jacket off, get it neatly folded, and finally placed gingerly in the already burgeoning overhead compartment before you get past them in row 9 - even though the steward called rows 21 to 32.  You inconsiderate pricks. Being six foot three / two-fifteen I usually don't have any problem convincing the COI that I have an equal right of passage.  Ask me sometime about "the breakfast incident" that took place at ComNet in Washington D.C. this year........
 
 
 

T-Rex - this is what happens to tall people like me when we get trapped in the middle or wall seat.  I get real paranoid about invading everyone's personal space - or i end up wedged against a wall.  When my scrumdillyuptious airline meal comes I usually have to tuck my arm tight in at my sides & keep my hands close to my chin.  When I eat like this I feel like a T-Rex - big dorky body with arms so short I could even scratch my own a$$.  This is by far one of the worst parts of airline seating -and my luck usually places me between 2 guys the size of Andre the Giant who have sweat gland issues they need to resolve.  Eeech.
 
 
 

"terror has won" - this is a generic term I'll use to describe any bullshit practice now in place since the tragic events of 9-11-2001.  By no means is my intention to make light of the tragedy itself, it's more my intent to point out ridiculous reactionary garbage thought up by liberal morons to make people think they're much safer now.  It's now the default excuse for every action airline personnel want to prevent you from doing or service they wish to avoid (e.g. "Sir, you can't use the first class bathroom as it presents a security risk" or "Sir, I can't give you another bag of peanuts as it poses a security risk.")
 
 
 

SkyMuffin - I cannot take full credit for this term.  A former co-worker and current friend - Bryan Jordan - first introduced me to this term when we traveled heavily for FORE.  Basically, it arose out of political correctness backlash.  It's so impossible to remember what the "appropriate" term is for various airline personnel that I generally refer to them (male or female) as a SkyMuffin, although I'm guessing that Bryan's original intent was to refer to the occasional (and now less and less frequent) hotty working the flight. Yep, thanks to affirmative action and equal rights and all that crap, fat ugly chicks can now work the skies too.  It a beautiful world.
 
 
 

Spanish Inquisition - the general, flat, meaningless questioning that 85% of the "security checkpoint staff" ask when you get singled out for the pat-down.  There are those guards that are on their toes, but for the most part I'd bet I could tell them I was on my way to Disney to Shoot Kissinger and they'd just continue with their line of ingenue, disinterested questions.  Guards at the actual gates are another story - don't "F" with these guys.
 
 
 

WidowMaker - here's a term I use more for my own luggage than anything else - but it general it refers to a HUGE suitcase large enough that it's possible to pack it beyond the weight limitations that airlines set for a single item (usually that's about 70 pounds).  I use the term WidowMaker to denote that fact that it could easily kill if handled incorrectly.  In my case, I specialize in $29 suitcases from Big Lots or Marc's that hold about 5 cubic feet and last about 3 years if you're lucky.  My current WidowMaker (circa 8-2002) is now long overdue for replacement, having weathered 4 years with me and looking quite beat up.