Going Home
The day is clear, perfection so near. The night is fine, home a fear of mine. I want to not dred coming home anymore.
Just a prison cell, an earthly form of hell. Home ruins a day, for the joy I must pay. Going home for me is to be all alone.
Things are this way, in dark silence I lay. To leave this place, brings a smile to my face. This place brings out the worst of me.
What is home, surely not a place alone. Home is a good feeling, not a floor or ceiling. My friends are my home and I love them.
Touch
I wish to release the walls protecting me. To feel your touch may set me free. Proximity is a very provocative lure. I think my touch will hurt you for sure. Stay away I can only cause pain. I tap you lightly and look for a red stain. Such heat and kindness you radiate that I am drawn even closer to you. I know to touch you will hurt because I am black and cold on the inside. Your hands make me light. My hands make you more human, right? The opposites become like one. A medium is reached through such fun. Your touch is a way for me to heal. Inside the void is gone and I feel.
No Humanity
Your charity seems so real to me. Your agenda is really on your mind. Why can't you just leave me be. Too many angles to avoid and find. I'm lost in the emptiness of love. There is no humanity except self. My mistakes pressing down from above. Crying alone to preserve mental health. Lashing out at those who cause pain. Now feeling wicked for making you cry. The people I always hated I became. You have cause to leave me now, good bye.
So Mistreated
You like to think your always picked on. No one ever does anything for you it seems. You are so mistreated, no one ever does as you wish. The truth is you get more than anyone I know. You just are short-sighted and need to be reminded of the fact. We all live here, you are no worse off than the whole. I pull the line and it goes unnoticed by the rest. Making me feel like nothing, you are inconsiderate. All the while in your own world where you are the victimized. Victim of someone's blind obedience and subservience. When I leave this behind will you see how lucky you were? If I leave will I perceive how much I was mistreated? The question is in the air until that faithful day.
You Will Pay
For everything you have done I will make you pay in full. I fall with you and before the impact I give my rip cord a pull. I do not feel bad anymore, you did worse and felt no discomfort. My actions make me ashamed to speak and fix the harmony I hurt.
Still you have to compensate for the part you played in my loneliness. You are indeed difficult, in the past I never saw you treat me like this. Why is the silence and discomfort all we have in common these days? Going in circles making each other care less, there must be other ways!
I want to atone for the things I never say, please let me speak one time. You should tell me when I am wrong and this relationship will survive fine. But being the way you are now I believe you are better off and all is lost. The distinction between love and anger is the barrier that I have crossed.
Phantasy
I dream. I am different, yet I still desire. I want just one thing in the world, love. I wish to walk hand in hand down the beach. I envision us embracing for the day. I want to watch the sun set and name the stars. I dream of opening my heart to you. Talking for a night arm in arm until we see the sun rise. I awaken by myself in a familiar frigid room. Still I dreamt last night of the feeling I want. Do you dream?
Isolation
The lone tree is surrounded by grass. Standing proud yet all alone. All life will stay away for fear.
Once long ago there was a stream here. The tree sat on her bank and listened to her song. Than the men came and the stream was gone.
Memories of a frail rope is all that remains. One day years ago the tree was forever cursed. Removed from nature was the price when a man was hanged.
© 2001 Matt Ricker All Rights Reserved
