Sept 19, 1999
Issue 9 of the Youth Homeschoolers' Epistle

"Assassins!"
- Arturo Toscanini (1867-1957) to his orchestra

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What a typical school day is like at your place: School's out! School daze at our house start with a family breakfast at around nine of the clock. Dad leaves eirly and my little sister runs screaming off yelling that she will not drink two percent milk. Mom sighs shakes her head and goes off to see what to do about my sister. my other sister sit's quietly at her place untill she can't stand it any more and fall's asleep in her oat meal. Then my alarm clock goes off and I drag my self out of bed to feast on the processed carcess of a suger cane stalk. after breakfeast I do my Bible study by Kay Aurther, then I read some Frances Shaffer and journel. next I try to get out of doing school work it never works but I try anyway. next I do Math It's kinda fun, I enjoy algebria and geomitry kind of. Then I read, I just finished the Iliad and am reading the Odyssee. After that I do what mom tells me. I have no idea what it is I just kind of do it and when it apliys to my life I rember just in time to forget where exactly I store useless information. But I do band and piano and writing and absolutly no spelling.

Name: Andrew Cessna Jones

Email address: Q_for_Quincy@yahoo.com

Something: N/A (I have one I just don't know were it is)

Age: 14 no wait 15? I could be sixteen no um lets see I'm not as old as jap and a little older then charr so I guess well let me look it up.... fifteen yeah that's it fifteen.

How long you've been homeschooled: It took me five minutes to answer the last one give me a break (five years)

Siblings: (3+1 1/2) An older sister 19, a middle sister 10, and a little sister who is 6 years and 330 days old, a brother inlaw, and a niece.

What you like best about homeschooling: flexible hours .

What you like least about homeschooling: flexible hours <"Since you didn't finish war and peace during school you can read it and write your report while your on that trip with your friends">

I collect barf bags, so far I have Delta but I hope to get some new aqusitions this summer.

What you wanna do when you grow up: I am not planing on growing up any time soon and am hoping that when I am forced to leave home I still won't have to grow up. Amazingly enough there is a wide range of jobs avaliable to people like me. Unfortuneatly you have to be talented to do these things so I will probubly just live off the sweat and blood of others. I was thinking of becomeing dictater for life in some large extreamly welthy country with a big military and nukeing the rest of the world and living in comfort for the rest of my life. I have actuly started my carrer, I am curently waiting for my world domination kit to come. It might take a while because Bill Gates is using it right know but I'll get it soon I hope.

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In addition to the Third Day concert that's Oct 26 at the Rome City
Auditorium, there's a "Freedom Blast '99" concert at the Forum on Sunday,
October 10. No tickets. $5 at the door. 4-Him, Wayne Watson, Nikki Leonti,
Truth, and Russ Taff will be performing then. Oh yeah, it's at 4 pm.

This same piece of paper I'm looking at also mentions a "Fall Jam '99 Tour"
on November 13, also at the Forum. With Clay Crosse, Out of the Gray,
Natalie Grant, NewSong, and LaRue. I have no idea what LaRue is. I think
but I'm not sure that this sheet of paper was provided by Heaven's Attic so
you can probably get more info on the Fall Jam '99 Tour there, later on. The
phone # for the Forum is 706-291-5281 (it says then press 2, then 1, but when
I called somebody picked up the phone after I dialed the main number.)

Not to mention the Caedmon's Call concert this Saturday. Incidentally,
anybody need a ticket for that? One, and only one ticket?

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Isaiah 54:17
"No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord."

-- and --

Mark 16:15-20

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IDIOT SIGHTINGS

Sighting #1:I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He
smiled and nodded knowingly,
"That's why we ask."

Sighting #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the
street I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine,
when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, what on earth
are blind people doing driving?

Sighting #3: At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear co-worker who is
leaving the company due to right sizing, our manager spoke up and said, this
is fun. We should have lunch like this more often. Not another word was
spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of
an approaching truck.

Sighting #4:I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back
into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would
not turn on.

Sighting #5 (a rare double sighting): A friend had a brilliant idea for
saving disk space. He thought if he put all his Microsoft Word documents into
a tiny font they'd take up less room. When he told me I was with another
friend. She thought it was a good idea too.

Sighting #6 (from Tech Support): Tech Support: "How much free space do you
have on your hard drive?" Individual: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on
that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?" [Tech Support: (::deep, hopeless sigh) ::click ]

Sighting #7 (from Tech Support):
Individual: Now what do I do?
Tech Support: What is the prompt on the screen?
Individual: It's asking for Enter Your Last Name.
Tech Support: Okay, so type in your last name.
Individual: How do you spell that?

SIGHTING #8
Auto Mechanic
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went
to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock
the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. Hey, I
announced to the technician, It's open! I know, answered the young man. I
already got that side.

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A vacationing family drives along in their car, windows rolled down, enjoying the warm summer breeze of the sunny day. All of a sudden a big bee darts in the window and starts buzzing around inside the car. A little girl, highly allergic to bee stings, cringes in the back seat. If she is stung, she could die within an hour.

"Oh, Daddy, " she squeals in terror, "it's a bee! It's going to sting me!"

The father pulls the car over to a stop, and reaches back to try to catch the bee. Buzzing towards him, the bee bumps against the front windshield where the father traps it in his fist. Holding it in his closed hand, the father waits for the inevitable sting. The bee stings the father's hand and in pain, the father lets go of the bee.

The bee is loose in the car again. The little girl again panics, "Daddy, it's going to sting me!"

The father gently says, "No honey, he's not going to sting you now. Look at my hand."

The bee's stinger is there in his hand.

I Corinthians 15:55 says, "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?"

Jesus says to us, "Look at my hands."

He has Satan's sting, the sting of death, the sting of sin, the sting of deceit, the sting of feeling worthless. Jesus has all of those stingers in His hands.

When you see that nail-scarred hand, realize that, on your behalf, Jesus took all the pain that Satan could throw at Him. He reduced Satan to a big bee that has lost its stinger--all Satan can do is buzzzzzz.

That's the victory that Jesus won for you!

--possibly by Max Lucado.
if not, the author is extremely unknown.

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The Day Will Come.

At the door,
death is knocking,
before the cradle
starts it's rocking.

The day will come,
be it far or near.
It comes to claim
those held dear.

No where to run,
no where to hide.
The day will come
for everyone to die.

It's time to prepare.
God can conquer fear.
He has provided away
for an exciting day.

On the wooden cross,
bearing man's pain,
"forgive them," he cried
and then he died.

It may bring joy
or it could be pain
the day will come,
as sure as rain.

Through life's struggles,
one question remains
submit to God
or remain in chains.

Those chains cause pain,
they control the life
and prevent the freedom
that is there to gain.

Death may appear
as an event to fear,
but when the heart is right
it's a welcomed sight.

The day will come.
So prepare the heart.
God forgives the sin
of those who come to him.

-- Joshua Polley

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Movie review:

Stigmata (R)

I know it's just a movie, made to be entertaining. For me, this was not just an interesting movie-- it contains too much religious material that is far too close to home. I intensely disliked something that was being said in the movie. Its presentation of mixed truth and lie is pretty hard for me to get past, hard enough to get past that I left the theater feeling rather disturbed. Which is a very, very weird thing for me to do. It was like one of those bad dreams where you wake yourself up praying... that's the best way I can describe the whole movie.

It was also a very attention-holding, well-shot, and well-acted (!!) movie, not entirely predictable but not too far off the wall. I liked the music they used, I liked the way they shot the film. (People keep saying it's like MTV. I think it's cool.) It's a little like something Frank Peretti would write. Only, Peretti would get these details that are bothering me right.

My parents would *not*, reapeat, **NOT** like this movie. I didn't exactly love it, but I might see it again. You might like it. If you see it, please don't bring little kids. They'll have nightmares for the next six weeks.

(6.5 out of 10)

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Every time a new Pope is elected, there's a whole lot of rituals and ceremonies that have to be gone through, in accordance with tradition. Well there's one tradition that very few people know about.

Shortly after the new Pope is enthroned, the Chief Rabbi seeks an audience. He is shown into the Pope's presence, whereupon he presents him with a silver tray bearing a velvet cushion. On top of the cushion is an ancient, shriveled parchment envelope.

The Pope symbolically stretches out his arm in a gesture of rejection.

The Chief Rabbi then retires, taking the envelope with him and does not return until the next Pope is elected. John Paul II was intrigued by this ritual, whose origins were unknown to him. He instructed the best scholars of the Vatican to research it, but they came up with nothing. When the time came and the Chief Rabbi was shown into his presence, he faithfully enacted the ritual rejection but, as the Chief Rabbi turned to leave, he called him back.

"My brother," the Holy Father whispered, "I must confess that we Catholics are ignorant of the meaning of this ritual enacted for centuries between us and you, the representative of the Jewish people. I have to ask you, what is it all about?"

The Chief Rabbi shrugs and replies: "But we have no more idea than you do. The origin of the ceremony is lost in the traditions of ancient history."

The Pope said: "Let us retire to my private chambers and enjoy a glass of wine together, then, with your agreement, we shall open the envelope and discover at last the secret."

The Chief Rabbi agreed.

Fortified in their resolve by the wine, they gingerly pried open the curling parchment envelope and with trembling fingers, the
Chief Rabbi reached inside and extracted a folded sheet of similarly ancient paper. As the Pope peered over his shoulder, he slowly opened it.

They both gasped with shock.

It was the check for the Last Supper.

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The Open Line

The line is never busy and you won't be put on hold...
He doesn't have call waiting & I guarantee you won't be told...
"Please call back, Can I have your number?...
May I take a message please?"
You won't find bad connections or long distance fees.
No matter when you want to talk, you can rest assured he's home...
And since there are no charges, please feel free to roam...
There will be no fancy menus with options 1 through 7...
No friendly operator standing by to put you through to heaven.
Instead you have a Father, who shares your joy and pain...
Who'll be there with you instantly with just the whisper of his name.
He's always there to listen, holding out his hand...
He'll guide you through your daily trials...
and point you to the ...
Promised Land.

HAVE A WONDERFUL LONG WEEKEND!
kat

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The Mirror

"Dr Papaderos, what is the meaning of life?"
The usual laughter followed, and people stirred to go.
Papaderos held up his hand and stilled the room and looked at me for a long time, asking with his eyes if I was serious and seeing from my eyes that I was.
"I will answer your question."
Taking his wallet out of his hip pocket, he fished into a leather billfold and brought out a very small round mirror, about the size of a quarter.
And what he said went like this:
"When I was a small child, during the war, we were very poor and we lived in a remote village. One day, on the road, I found the broken pieces of a mirror. A German motorcycle had been wrecked in that place.
"I tried to find all the pieces and put them together, but it was not possible, so I kept only the largest piece. This one, and, by scratching it on a stone, I made it round. I began to play with it as a toy and became fascinated by the fact that I could reflect light into dark places where the sun would never shine-in deep holes and crevices and dark closets. It became a game for me to get light into the most inaccessible places I could find.
"I kept the little mirror, and, as I went about my growing up, I would take it out in idle moments and continue the challenge of the game. As I became a man, I grew to understand that this was not just a child's game but a metaphor for what I might do with my life. I came to understand that I am not the light or the source of the light. But light-truth, understanding, knowledge-is there, and it will shine in many dark places only in I reflect it.
"I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not know. Nevertheless, with what I have I can reflect light into the dark places of this world-into the black places in the hearts of men-and change some things in some people. Perhaps others may see and do likewise. This is what I am about. This is the meaning of my life."
--Robert Fulghum

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When you're in over your head, you have just two options: sink, or swim.

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