Ghetto Fabulous Life, Day 3
11:11 am
2nd ghetto bathroom experience, still cannot locate the lightswitch.
11:24 am
I am now leaving to have my first ghetto shower experience
11:45 am
The first ghetto shower experience is over. I finally located the light switch, which I couldn't previously
due to some ingenious idea to put it outside of the bathroom. The water was hot, and the bug went back down the
drain it came out of. It is however hard to shave since it's like showering in a box. The ghetto sink/shelf unit
was a nice touch seeings as how you can't bend down all the wa when brushing your teeth unless you want to
smack your head on the stupid shelf
11:59 am
Thumper too agrees that the ghetto shower is a box with a shower head
12:31 pm
It is now raining in the ghetto
What a perfect touch.
12:44 Pm
Another episode of boredom in the ghetto.
12:57 pm
The rain in the ghetto has stopped. However, the boredom has not.
Thumper is now counting out our stash of change. As we still have no kitchen utensils to cook our noodles and rice with
And the verdict is......$8.40
Good thing we still have some cigarettes.
1:10 pm
We now have a new ghetto pet made from a cigarette box
His name is Larry, Larry the ghetto cat.
1:22 pm
Am preparing my 2nd ghetto meal. Using some soup starter mix, a bag or ramen noodles and the frying
pan that was in the fridge.
1:47 pm
Oh my god. A roach just fell out of the stove. Where's my notebook?
1:53 pm
Just spotted 2 more roaches on the door frame.
1:55 pm
Our 2nd ghetto meal is ready. Some nice candles, some a/c, and two plastic forks sticking out of
a frying pan full of noodles. The noodles are a bit saucy, but our 2nd ghetto meal is otherwise edible
2:12 pm
Just finished rinsing off my disposable forks.
And there is a dead roach laying on the kitchen floor.
2:16 pm
Why does the kitchen smell like old trash if there is no trash to be seen?
2:21 pm
It is raining again in the ghetto. and we are again walking down the urine stenched hallway to a payphone.
Unknown time - Location, Laurens County Public Library
Note to self: Remember why you never go out during the day time in Georgia.
And always bring something to tie your hair back with. Also, always go to the bathroom
BEFORE you leave your house.
Unknown time - Still at the library
I have found a ghetto way to tie my hair up.
Aooarently bondage straps have more then one use.
New update:
Someone is walking across the parking lot, as we are still at the library which is closed
I must say, at this point I am starting to miss my ghetto fabulous pad, as it has a/c, and a toilet
Unknown time - Still at the library
I just discovered, I have a tac in my shoe
8:25 pm
We arrive back to our ghetto pad after a wonderful adventure to try and find money for food
Unsuccessful were our attempts, but we did manage to finlly make it back t ghettoville
8:57 pm
Our "new" microwave, Just realized it's missing the rotating tray., Things seem to be more and more ghetto as the days go by.
9:00 pm
Trying out the new microwave. So far, it seems to be working. We are awaiting ghetto meal number 3
to finish cooking. As we are having the ghetto favorite...... Totino's.
9:01 pm
The microwave works just fine, as Thumper has just found out by burning his tongue.
9:33 pm
Ghetto boredom is really starting to sink in. I am thoughtless at the moment for seomthing to do.
9:39 pm
Thumper is attempting to make another ghetto meal. Apparently cheese nips and pizza rolls didn't do the trick
He is trying to prepare something with deer meat, which we obtained earlier in the day.
10:38 pm
After entertaining myself with some occult readings, I find I am still bored. Thumper however has chosen
to entertain himself by making a ghetto cord to the radio so we can listen to music. A cord from an old clock
and some duct tape. He is now plugging it in.
And the son of a bitch actually works. No fuckin shit. Rock ass. Ghetto music
And after some breif celebration, Thumper is off to make our "fancy ghetto meal." and I back to the depths of the occult. But this time i am not sitting in silence. Rock fucking ass, ghetto radio!
11:03 pm
The "Fancy Ghetto Meal" is complete.
11:16 pm
The fancy deer meat dinner is over. While burping in appreciation of the meal, a little more then air decided to come up. I sed my better judgement this time, and swallowed
Yum, vomit burps.
11:18 pm
I am now smoking my last cigarette, which was borrowed from one of the neighbors. Soon we will have to resort to the butt tobacco and rolling papers.
Note to self:
Touch two live wires together if I ever start wearing a handkercheif on my head.
11:46 pm
We are walking to the store to get cigs, and more faygo with our whopping $5.15, but first, Thumper has decided to rolla cigarette, and take it to the bathroom with him since he will apparently "be a few minutes". He also has indicated that he "needs something to read" So he will be reviewing our adventures in ghettoville in between strains and grunts. And no doubt he will be smiling at that little joke when he is finished with his "few minutes".
11:55 pm
Thumper is now finished with his "few minutes". And we are now smoking handrolled cigarettes, and preparing an evil thought to fuck with Lucy, then we are going to the store.
12:01 am
Our plot against Lucy is complete. A seemingly harmless hand rolled cigarette will be "mistaken" for something else handrolled. heh.
12:03 am
We are now leaving to walk to the store.
12:31 am
Just finished stocking up on our favorite ghetto beverage. The store however is closed. So ni cigs until tomorrow. Walking while writing really isn't as hard as it seems to be.
12:48 am
We have arrived home. The hallway smells like fried chicken, and we still have nothing to smoke. The clock on the wall in the makeshift lounge seems to be missing a cord and has ceased working. But our lovely ghetto radio looks better with it's nicely rigged cord. :)
12:56 am
We were able to purchase 4 whole cigarettes from our neighbor Ned for a quarter a piece. Things are slightly looking up. We have cigs, Faygo, ICP on the ghetto radio, and deer in the freezer.
1:07 am
We are now playing rummi and listening to ICP.
1:26 am
First round of rummi is over.
In the lead is thumper with 220 points. And I suck with with only 85 points
1:27 am
2nd round of rummi begins and I am still sucking with 155 points vs. 275 points.
1:35 am
3rd round begins
190 points vs. 295. I suck badly.
1:51 am
Another round begins. We apparently are not playing to 500. This is the last round.
2:00 am
I suckingly loose with 250 points. Mr. Cottontail hops away with 350 points. Dammit
2:07 am
Bedtime.
Another wonderfuk day in the ghetto. I almost can't wait to see what happens on day 4 in ghettoville.
Till Then.....
2:35 am
Thumper has smashed his head into the very hard wall. Apparently there is nothing but brick behind the paneling.
and I am laughing my as off.
Selected quote from this moment: "Fuck!"
3:10 am
Thumper was trying to tickle me, and once again he fell victim to pain.
While bringing his head down at a fast rate of speed, his nostril hit a bullseye on the barbell sticking out of my ear. I must remind myself later to check the barbell for anything wet, and slimy. Thumper is now using the bathroom, and I have no doubt that he will experience pain again before he goes to sleep.
3:17 am
Thumper thought it would be funny to put a cold can of soda on my chest.
He however did not find it funny when I put the can of soda down his pants.
Ghetto Life Day 4
