The last update took place on:
January 5, 2004

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Britney, BSB, & *NSync are all out walking along the beach together one summer day. They come across a magic bottle and Christina pops out.

"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says Christina.

Britney says, "I am posing for the Rolling Stones cover. I want to look like an international sex symbol on it."

With a blink of Christina's eyes, 'POOF' Britney was given the most beautiful body.

*NSYNC was so amazed, they said "We want a city named after us...and ONLY us. We are the best and we deserve the best city you can supply. We want a huge wall built around us and the city, so no one can come into our precious city."

Again, with a blink of an eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around *NSYNC City.

BSB says, "We are very curious. Tell us more about this wall of theirs..."

Christina explains: "Well, it's about 150 ft. high, 50 ft. thick, and nothing can get in or out of the city."

BSB says, "Fill it up with water."

* * *

Why did the chicken cross the road?

HOWIE: Because it was a freak on the sneak. What?

BRIAN: Because God and Leighanne told it to.

AJ: Because it should do what it wanted to, whatever, cross the road, get little chicken tattoos, get its beak peirced, get freaky, dye its little comb...whatever it freaking wants to do! It's cool, man!

NICK: Chicken? Road? (whispering) Kevin, why did the chicken cross the road?

KEVIN: So that it could grow as an artist and if its crossing of the road touches your soul and the chicken feels the crossing in its inner being, well then, it's all good! (throwing flowers) Peace!

NICK: That's what I was going to say.

KEVIN: You'll have to pardon him. (weird voice) He's a li'l ner-vous today.

* * *

What has 180 legs and no pubic hair?
The front row of an *NSYNC concert.

* * *

> Backstreet Boys in sex eduacation

TEACHER: Ok, class. Today we're going to learn about the male reproductive organs. Ok, now I want everyone to say the word penis with me...penis...

BRIAN: Nooooo! **covers ears** Not before marriage!!!

AJ: Yes! Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis --

TEACHER: That's enough Alexander!

KEVIN: Come on, guys. Let's be mature...for once.

TEACHER: Howie!!

HOWIE: What?!

TEACHER: Young lady, do you have a problem with being in this class!?

HOWIE: What? No! I didn't say anything! I'm not a girl!

TEACHER: Well...ugly troll, Behave yourself!

HOWIE: Damn it!

NICK: Psst, Howie, I thought you were a girl! What about all those nights we --

HOWIE: Shut up, Nick.

BRIAN: Ahhh, my virgin ears! **covers ears again**

TEACHER: Quiet! Let's move on. Alexander, stop saying penis!

AJ: Fine...

TEACHER: Now, we'll begin the study on the testicles...

**AJ raises his hand**

TEACHER: Yes?

AJ: Can we say that together?

TEACHER: No, Alexander.

AJ: It's AJ!

TEACHER: Whatever. Now testicles produce sperm which will be ejaculated when --

BRIAN: Nooo, Shhhh!! I have to go to church and pray for us all! **runs out of room**

AJ: Ha ha, religious fool.

TEACHER: ...Moving on...when the male ejaculates the sperm travels --

NICK: Travels where?! **taking notes furiously**

TEACHER: I was just about to say it travels --

AJ: Nick, you are so inexperienced!

NICK: Shut up! I'm just preparing for when I get my sex life!

**Howie raises his hand**

TEACHER: Oh, what now?!

HOWIE: Can I go to the bathroom?

KEVIN: Hehe, with his magazine.

TEACHER: Yes, you may.

**Howie leaves with magazine.**

TEACHER: And then the process of creating another human life begins. The woman opens up a part of her soul to the man of whom she choose and so goes, the miracle of life...

KEVIN: **sniff sniff** That was so beautiful!

**Howie walks in with his soggy magazine**

AJ: That's sick, man.

HOWIE: Shut up.

TEACHER: Tomorrow we will be watching a video...

HOWIE: **stands up** Yess! Porn...Nevermind...

KEVIN: Eww, sick bastard.

NICK: Hey Howie...tonight are we still going to --

HOWIE: Shut up, Nick.

KEVIN: **to teacher while coughing** Um, I think I'm going to be sick tomorrow.

AJ: Hey teacher, can I borrow that video?

**Bell rings**

TEACHER: Class dismissed...thank God.

* * *

Name of BSB Solo Albums:

Kevin
Name of CD: "Country Doesn't Equal Dumb"
Tracks:

1. "He's My Cousin"
2. "I'm........not.......slow"
3. "Trigger Happy"
4. "Yeehaw, I'm Inbred"
5. "I'm From Kentucky (I Like Blue)"
6. "Thick Brow Blues"
7. "Squirrel Meat (Maw's Home Cooking)"
8. "Hey, Wake Up...I'm Still Talking"
9. "I Want A Mean Batch Of Chili"
10. "Hey! Skirts Look Sexy On Me Too!"

Nick
Name of CD: "Blonde And Loving It"
Tracks:

1. "Did You Just Touch My Ass"
2. "You Think I'm Sexy (Don't Ya)?"
3. "Blonde Bombshell"
4. "I've Got It Goin' On"
5. "Move Over, Here Comes My Butt"
6. "God Must Have Spent A Lil' More Time On Me"
7. "I Like The Ocean"
8. "I Can Count To 5"
9. "Nick Carter, Super Fly Guy"
10. "With A Face Like This (I Should Be A Movie Star)"
11. "You Want Me (I Know)"
12. "Why Am I So Sexy?"
13. "Imagine Me In A Thong"

Brian
Name of CD: "I've Seen The Light"
Tracks:

1. "The Lord Is My B-Rok"
2. "Help Me God (I'm In Love With A Witch)"
3. "I Say A Prayer (Please Let Me Grow)"
4. "I Saw The Sign"
5. "You Down With G-O-D?"
6. "Oops, I Had Premarital Sex"
7. "I'm A 5' Christian"
8. "Me And My Trusty Pocket Bible"
9. "Shark Attack (Jabberjaw's Gonna Get Ya)"
10. "Howard?????? Censored!"

AJ
Name Of CD: "Freak Without A Leash"
Tracks:

1. "Nice Lookin Piece Of Wood (I Think I'll Hump It)"
2. "Coughing Up A Lung (Smoking Is Cool)"
3. "Magic Marker Mustache"
4. "Smack Yo Hoes Down"
5. "Can You Pimp Like I Do?"
6. "Gettin Jiggy With My Stick"
7. "Who's Your Bitch?"
8. "Like My Butterfly Hairclips?"
9. "Dis Be One Funky Hat"
10. "Let's Talk About Sex Baby"
11. "Bitch, I Be A Poet"

Howie
Name Of CD: "Nair Is For Whimps"
Tracks:

1. "Ok, Who Moved The Hot Wax?"
2. "Girl, You Ain't Even Cute"
3. "Wink, Drool, Wink"
4. "Short Stuff"
5. "Hey! I'm Latino Too!"
6. "Looking For A Fan"
7. "What A Girl Wants (Isn't Me)"
8. "I Try (To Look Good)"
9. "I Swear (I'm Not A Troll)"
10. "Forgot About D"

Backstreet Fun