Eva was bedding down with Matvei while Isidor and Pasha shared the other bed with Eva’s aging cat, Misha. Despite her earlier barbs, Akilina the Coffee Wench had offered to share her bed with Ruslan and was now doing so quite noisily in the room above the rest of the company.
“I still say we should have insisted that Eva bed with Akilina.” Isidor said, tugging the sheets off of Pasha.
“Those are my covers, you dirty thief.” Pasha complained.
“You’re the thief, Pasha.” Eva groaned.
“I’m beating him to the punch.” Isidor replied cheerfully.
“You only wanted Eva to go with Akilina so that you could bed with Ruslan. Give me my share of the sheets, you greedy boy-shagger.” Pasha jerked the sheets back over to his side of the bed. Misha yowled.
“Every inn, the same story. Ruslan bags a wench, the rest of us argue over bedding.” Eva grumbled. Matvei pulled the pillow over his ears and Eva’s head bumped back against the bedframe. She tugged on the pillow. Matvei held tight, and his nose promptly turned into a pickle. He shoved the pillow back at Eva and his nose returned to normal. Misha let out a series of low growls.
“THOSE SHEETS ARE AS MUCH MINE AS THEY ARE YOURS!”
“So steal some from another room.”
“I’LL NOT… GIVE ME MY SHARE!”
“I’m COLD!”
“So AM I!”
Misha was kicked from the bed by one of Isidor’s flailing legs and stalked grumpily over to Matvei and Eva.
“Fine! I’ll sleep on the floor. Eva, give me one of your sheets.” Pasha relented after Isidor gave him a hefty shove and knocked him out of bed.
“Over my rotted corpse.” Matvei mumbled.
“A horse blanket?” Pasha asked hopefully.
“We haven’t got any horses.” Isidor reminded him.
“You can borrow one of my dresses. I don’t wear them, anyway.” Eva offered. Pasha grumbled on his way to the saddlebags stashed in the corner. He pulled out a heavily embroidered pink frock and wrapped it around himself.
“It’s quite becoming on you, Pasha.” Isidor said.
“Shut up, boy-shagger.”
“You look lovely. Go ahead and keep the thing.” Eva yawned.
Eva and Matvei were awakened in the middle of the night by yelling underneath the window, long after the frentic lovemaking upstairs had ended.
“MATVEISLIKI! EVPRAKSIYA! ANYONE!”
“Sweet coffee…” Eva muttered. Matvei rolled out of bed and stumbled towards the window. No one was visible in the courtyard below.
“MATVEI! MATVEI, DOWN HERE!” The shouting continued. At the ground level, one story directly beneath the window, Isidor was crouched in the bushes.
“Get locked out taking a piss?” Matvei inquired genially.
“No!” Isidor protested.
Eva crawled out of bed and stood next to Matvei, rubbing her eyes.
“I doubt Isidor leaves naked to use the bathroom.” She muttered.
“I woke up in the stables!” Isidor yelled. Someone in a room across the courtyard threw an empty bottle out the window in Isidor’s direction. Eva and Matvei turned towards the other bed. Pasha was curled up in the sheets quite comfortably. Isidor’s clothes were folded neatly on the floor.
“Is it terribly cold out?” Eva shouted down.
“No, not really. Warmer than inside.” Isidor said.
“Leave him ‘til morning.” Eva muttered, getting back into bed. Matvei shrugged.
“See you when it’s light out, Isidor.” He called to the magician.
“Hey! HEY WAIT! EVA! EVA? MATVEI? Oh, this isn’t funn- ouch! Quit throwing things!”
Three