stupid and/or brilliant (but mostly stupid) quotes from me and my friends. our aim conversations are here.
megan (um, me):
"reality is for losers."
"someone is going to have a very flavorful noodle."
"caitlin? i don't remember you being square and covered in cloth."
"get back here! i still have every intention of tying you around my head!"
"damn you, megan! don't eat silly putty!"
"i had applesauce and...i remember putting something else in my mouth, i'm going to assume it was food."
"someone ate all the whipped cream and replaced it with bloody hunks of meat."
"nipples make me nervous."
"rescuing, rescuing, rescuing trevor princess!"
"sweet jesus, no! the homophobes have candy!"
"i'd rather cheat on someone than constantly fill out paperwork."
"oh look, the aborted fetus turned into cotton candy."
"god has yet to reveal his other eggy parts."
"i would never, EVER abuse my potato!"
"don't insult the rabid george-woman!"
"i have to stab it more, but i'm lazy."
"you can't do that! what if i were sharing vital internal organs with a banjo?!"
"i'm the mozart of bologna."
"if cows were spherical we'd only have milkshakes. so obviously physics does not work as a valid science. i want a milkshake."
erin:
"another fly on evil's windshield."
"do you mind if i oscillate?"
"should i choke on it or stick it up my nose?"
"bite my mental health!"
"you have to jump up there and do that light bulb yourself."
"our tampons are your tampons."
"his nostrils sure are slutty."
caitlin:
"it's hard to be religious when you're an atheist."
"how am i supposed to lose weight if i keep getting hungry?"
"empower my squeaky voice? are you nuts?!"
"thank god you didn't urinate on each other!"
"i'm smart and i'm waving my pinkie at you."
"well, i was ripping my face off but i think i'm done now."
holly:
"i'm not a big orange person."
"i think it's about time for me to put my pants on."
"vampire stories? those wouldn't be...EROTIC vampire stories, would they?"
"i whack you with my pornographic literature!"
"ying ying ying ying. woooooooo woooooo woo!"
"oh no! i've been eating my corn in rows of two and there's five rows left!"
"i do not have obsessive compulsive disorder. i do not have obsessive compulsive disorder. i do not have obsessive compulsive disorder. i do not have obsessive compulsive disorder. i do not have obsessive compulsive disorder."
"i can tell i'm on medication because my crotch smells different"
"and he blurbleblurbleblurbled to the bottom the sea."
"what's wrong, megan? don't you like watching its anus open and close for you?"
"weren't we supposed to be eating babies?"
"i have never been so drunk that i couldn't find my own keyhole."
mike:
"hamsterchucks, babychucks, if it's alive, i'll make a chuck out of it."
"why? why? why are we putting artificial lemons in the lemonade and real lemons in the furniture polish? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"
"oh, come on. i made them dance, then i made them fight, then i made them fuck. that's every movie you've ever seen!"
jenna:
"i just got goth chick up my nose."
chase:
"i have a cavalcade of hidey-holes on my body where flails could go. and not just the ones that immediately come to mind!"
ben:
"being weird is cool. masturbation is important."
"everyone needs hugs. even anthony hopkins and aleister crowley."
jean:
"well, praise jesus and pass the prozac."
"i had another epiphany. i keep having those. well, epiphanies or small strokes. i see flashes of light, anyway."
