She had been nominated for best new artist or something along those lines. I really didn't know, nor did I care to know exactly what it was. It was for MTV's Video Music Awards. I hardly ever watched them, especially since I didn't have cable. Either way I was happy for her, and excited about seeing my beautiful little girl on television. But that was when she approached me with something I wasn't sure I was ready for.
I was sitting out at the pool one afternoon after the nominations had been announced. I was staying in Los Angeles with her while she met with label execs and management people about the upcoming release of her album. The official release was still months away, but I guess there was paperwork, or something. I had my nose buried in yet another vampire novel. For some reason I had taken a liking to the blood-sucking beings. I didn't hear her walk up behind me, but knew it was her the second her hands covered my eyes. "Guess who?" she asked, not expecting me to guess.
I placed my book on my thigh and grabbed her wrists pulling her hands down from my eyes. Looking up at her in the sunlight, I said, "What do you want?"
She glanced over my bikini-clad body and smiled at me as she pulle dup a pool chair beside me. "Have I ever told you how sexy you look in a bikini?" she said, trying to flatter me. It worked, because I blushed heavily. "How's the book?"
I glanced over at her from the corner of my eye. She was up to something, I could tell. "Fine," I replied slowly.
"Don't ya love LA?"
I marked my place in the book and sat up to look her in the eye. "Okay, what's up?" She was remarking about a city. It had to be something big.
She rolled her fingers on both hands. Now I knew it was big. She was doing her piano flexing again. "You know how I'm nominated for the VMA?" she asked.
"Duh," I commented flatly staring at her.
"Well, you know I should probably go to the show, right?"
"Yeah."
She sighed and tapped her fingers on her naked thigh. She was wearing this cute little halter-top and short shorts. If she thought I looked good in a bikini, she had no idea how much it was killing me to see her in that outfit. "Well, I was kinda hoping you'd go with me," she said, not bothering to look me in the eye.
I gawked at her. "You mean you and me and us and people and...i don't know Krystal."
"Well, why don't we go talk about it. I mean, this is a big thing for both of us."
"With who?" I asked.
"The cousins," she replied with a grin.
"Brian and Kevin?" I thought for a minute. "Oh, because I'm closest to Brian and you're closest to Kevin and they're cousins and we're dating." I covered my face with my hands. "Alright, but let's get this over with now, okay?" She nodded and took my hand as we walked inside the hotel. Lacing her fingers through mine, we rode the elevator upstairs in silence. Getting off at the eighth floor, we slowly walked down the hall together, glancing in open doors to see where the Kentucky Cousins were. We found them together along with the rest of the guys talking about who knows what.
"Um, Kev, Brian, can we talk to you two for a minute?" Krystal asked, sensing I was feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing. They both excused themselves and then headed out into the hall with us.
"What's up you two?" Kevin asked us both.
"Can we go someplace and talk about it?" Krystal said to him leading me down the hall to another room. The two men followed and shut the door behind them.
"So what is it?" Brian asked sitting down in a chair. Krystal and I plopped down on the queen-sized bed, still holding hands. I was afraid to let go of her for fear of what might be said. Kevin leaned up against the edge of the door.
My beloved cleared her throat and then said, "I'm thinking of going public with this relationship."
Brian nodded, understanding why we wanted to talk to them. "And how do you feel about this, Becca?" he asked me.
"I don't care," I replied nonchalantly, not bothering to make eye contact with him.
Kevin walked over and squatted down in front of me. "Yeah right you don't care. What's bothering you about this?"
I glanced at him and then back at a spot on the wall. "I don't think I'm ready for this."
Krystal squeezed my hand saying, "Becca-Bear, I thought you'd want to be honest with people?"
I turned to look at her. "K-girl, I'm scared. I don't know if this generation is ready for their Supergirl to be dating a woman. I mean, look at the backlash it caused Ellen. And then you can't forget Melissa Etheridge."
"But Becca," she said, "I love you."
I had turned away from her when I had finished my little phrase about being scared, but when she said that, I whipped my head back around to look in her eyes. "You what?" I asked.
Brian, who was staring at us, said, "I take it you haven't heard those words before."
I glanced at him and whispered, "Not from her."
"I love you," she repeated. I could see the devotion in her eyes. We had been together for almost six months yet we had never said those words to the other. I think we were afraid of the commitment it meant.
