Adam sat in the hospital, next to Rachel's bed and stared at the respirator machine. Their wedding was supposed to happen this weekend coming up, he thought. Now it looked like they may never marry, he thought as he watched and listened to the machine that held her life.
The woooshing sound of the respirator was the only sound made in the room, until one of Rachel's doctors entered the room.
"I was just watching the respirator. She isn't doing very well, is she?" Adam asked the Doctor, hoping to hear some positive news.
The doctor stared at the vitals, and made a frown. "Yesterday she was at 40% on her respirator and today she is at 50%. To be honest, it really doesn't look good. She seems to be getting worse. I am sorry. If she doesn't improve soon, you might want to make plans to disconnect her." The doctor says, showing no emotion.
"I can't do that, I can't. I can wait however long it takes, I will never let her go like that." Adam said, as he took Rachel's hand and kissed it.
The doctor shrugged, and started to walk out of the room. Jay walked in a few seconds later, carrying roses.
"Adam, any new news?" Jay asked, as he stood staring at his friend. "You don't look so good, whats up?"
"She's not doing so well. The doctor spoke to me a few minutes ago about unplugging everything soon." Adam said, with tears in his eyes. "I can't do that."
"He's got to be joking. I see life in her." Jay says to Adam.
"I do too, but is it just the machines playing tricks?" Adam asks Jay.
"Don't think that way. Is there anyone else we can talk to about this?" Jay asks, and then rushes out the door to find another doctor.
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I feel like i am in a long dark tunnel, Rachel thought. Echo, she said in her mind. It came back to her full force. OUCH, she thought. Disconnect? I am disconnected, she thought. Wait, did the doctor say disconnect the machines?? No, not the life line, he couldn't have said that, she thought. hmmmmm
Adam, I feel your hand. How I long to kiss you, she thought. Just to hold you. Hold the bunny. What? My brain is mush, she thought. I want out of this, she screams and cries in her head.. OUT!!
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Adam stared at Rachel, and was amazed to see a single tear drop fall down her cheek. There was no way in hell he would let her go, not when he knew she could still hear them.
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Chris pulled up in front of Michelle's house and sat in the car. He dreaded going into her house and breaking up with her. But it was only fair, he thought. He was so confused about what he wanted.
He walked ot the door, and let himself in. Michelle would be out by the pool, he thought. It was a nice day for tanning. He found her, just where he thought he would. Fear at her side, protecting her.
"Hey baby." Michelle smiled and hopped up to greet him. She goes to kiss him, and he turns a cheek to her. "What's wrong?" She asks.
"We need to talk." He says, as he sits at one of the tables on her patio. "I really don't know where to start."
"How about at the beginning." She says, as she sits across from him. She tries to take his hand, and he pulls away. They stare at each other for a moment, and he looks away.
"Ok...getting to the point. I hate this, but Michelle, I need time alone. I don't want to hurt you, but...." He starts, but Michelle interrupts him.
"What? You're breaking up with me?? It's Jess isn't? I can't believe this is happening!! How long have you been thinking about this??" She asks, with tears in her eyes. "Is it because you blame me for Rachel's coma too??"
"It's not Jess, there is no one else. I don't blame you for Rachel. I could never do that. I think we just moved too fast. I have feelings for you, but they aren't what you hoped them to be. I feel like I am giving you 50% of me when I should be giving you 110%. I am just so confused right now." Chris said, as he stood up. He was having a hard time sitting across from her and her sad eyes.
"You were fine yesterday, Chris, I really don't understand." She said, as she too stood up.
"Look, it's no ones fault but my own. I need time alone. It's just how I feel right now. I hold you close to my heart, really I do. I am just really confused about what i want to do with my life right now." Chris said, looking at Michelle.
She looks down at Fear, and Fear can feel the tension in the air. He starts to growl at Chris, and Michelle holds onto Fear's collar. "Get out. I don't know how long I can hold him back." Michelle says, and then looks at Chris. "If this is what you want, so be it."
"Don't be this way, can't we talk about it a little more." Chris asked, as he backed away from Fear.
"Just leave!! Do those words confuse you?? You've said all you had to say, all I want to hear anyways." Michelle hisses through her teeth. Fears growls grow more intense. "I can't hold him much longer, you better go.
Chris turns away from her and never looks back. He sits in his car, and stares back at the house where Fear is now staring out the window with his teeth bared, still growling. He was so confused. He needed time away from everything, work, people and sometimes even himself, he thought. Usually he talked to Rachel when he was like this, confused. Right now, he had no one to turn to.
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Michelle sat on the diving board, and started to cry. Why was this happening, she thought. She blamed herself for Rachel being hurt, and then Chris breaks up with her. Was that really her fault too, she thought. She needed Chris, she needed someone on her side, at her side. She sat on the diving board and looked at her blurry reflection in the pool. Who am I, she thought. My world was coming together, and now it's only falling apart.
How was she going to work around him now?? She would have to find another crew to hang out with, she thought. Just to get away from Chris and the ones that believed Rachel being hurt was her fault. She would drowned herself in work, maybe that would take her mind off of things. If that didn't, she didn't know what would.
Fear came back out on the patio and laid back down. Chris left, she thought, he left for good this time.
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Beth looked at her watch then at the phone. Jeff had been calling her every Thursday for a month. Even though they had that little tif, she figured he would still call her. Him hanging up on her then didn't really bother her, until now. She tried to call his cell phone, but no one answered. She hoped nothing bad was happening to Rachel.
Beth called Matt's cell phone, and hoped he would answer his. "Matt, it's Beth. Is Rachel ok?? Jeff isn't answering his cell." She said, as he answered the phone.
"Hey, Rachel is doing fair. We are getting another doctor to look at her though. Jeff threw his cell phone in the drawer the other day. He was mumbling somethng about privacy." Matt tells Beth.
"Oh.. ok. How about you?? Have you talked to Christi?" Beth asks, as she tangles herself in the phone cord.
"I talked to her mom the other day. I haven't seen her since I have been back. Her mom said she went to visit her sister in New York. Of all times to go, when I am at home." Matt said with a small laugh.
"Sorry about that. Well, if you see Jeff, tell him I called. " Beth says, and hangs up. She dials David to see if he is home.
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Jeff sat next to Rachel's bed and braided a strand of her hair. The respriator was yo-yoing back and forth between 50 and 40. So, there was still hope, he thought. He hopped Adam would come back soon, it was dinner time and his stomach told him so.
The door opened, and Michelle walked in the room. Jeff was shocked to see her, the last time she had been there she had ran out.
"Hi, how is she doing?" She asked Jeff. She stood at the door, afraid to walk in any further.
Jeff stared at her, and then back at the respirator. "Fine." he replies.
Adam walks in with their dinner, and throws Jeff his McDonalds bag. Adam smiles at Michelle, and sits in the window to eat his food. "Hi." he says, as he puts three fries in his mouth at once. "When did you get into town?" he asks her.
" Maybe 30 minutes ago." She says nervously.
"I can't believe you actually came." Jeff said, as he stared at her. His food sat untouched.
"She's my friend." Michelle said, as she stood against the wall, with her hand on the door handle.
Jeff starts to laugh. " Really? If you are such a good friend, why haven't you been to see her more? Too many reminders??"
"Jeff, stop. Not here, she can here you." Adam says to Jeff, as he bites his hamburger.
Jeff stares at Michelle, who has now gone a pasty white.
"If you have something to say to me, I think you should say it." Michelle says, as her knees start to shake.
Jeff stands up, with his hands in fists. "See my hands, they are both in fists. This fist represents my mother, and my other fist represents my sister. Cancer took one of them from me. One fist will never open again. If my sister dies, it won't be because of cancer. It will be because of you." Jeff says, through gritted teeth.
Adam stops eating, and watches Jeff. He was afraid he would actually lash out at Michelle. Adam had never seen Jeff this way before.
"Do you feel this way Adam??" Michelle asks, looking at him. " Ifeel your pain, Jeff, believe me I do."
"Do you?? Do you know what it's like to loose someone close, and then it happen again." Jeff said, as he sat hard in the chair. He looks back at the respirator and opens his bag of food. His appetite was gone, but he would eat for Rachel.
"I know...Jeff....Adam...." She couldn't speak anymore. She opened the door, and fled just as before. No one was there for her now, she thought.
She ran down the hall to the elevator, and almost into Kurt.
"Hey, slow down." Kurt said, as he grabbed her by the waist. "Is Rachel ok??"
"I think so, it's just.. It's a long story." Michelle said through tears.
He picked a rose out of the arrangement he bought for Rachel and gave it to her. " Wait for me in the lobby. Long story or not, I'll be down there in a minute." He said, and walked away.
"Ok." She said and entered the elevator. Her mind was tired. Could Adam also think it was her fault?? In the end, would they all think that way??
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Brooke sat in David's driveway and stared at the two cars that were there. When he said he was sick again, she had decided to bring him a bowl of soup. Who's car was this, she wondered. Maybe it was one of his friends, she thought. She got out and found the key in the usual spot and let herself into the house, so she wouldn't bother the guys.
She heard a womans laughter, and a groan. They were watching porn, and she was going to catch them. She giggled to herself, as she walked down the hall.
"DAVID!!" She yelled, as she saw him and another female at play on the couch. She threw the can of soup at them, and missed them by inches.
"Who is she??" The woman asked, as David rolled onto the floor. The woman tried to cover up with a blanket, leaving David naked on the floor. David stares at her in shock.
"This is Beth, my girlfriend." David tells the women. " I am so sorry Beth." He says, as he stands and covers himself with his hand.
"Why are you covering yourself, I've seen you before." Beth says laughing.
"You're girlfriend!! You told me you didn't have a girlfriend!!" The woman yelled at him.
"He said that?" Beth said to the woman.
The woman shook her head yes. She gets up and puts clothes on, as David tries to beg forgiveness from Beth.
"You're soup is in the corner, David. If you want it, take it." She says to David, and then to the women. "You can have him too, he's not worth fighting over."
Beth leaves, and as she walks out the door she hears a hard slap. She starts to laugh and then cry. All the waisted time, she thought.
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Matt was really beginning to miss Christi, more than he ever had. Their anniversary was coming up, and he wanted to do something special. Relationships were so hard to keep while on the road, and he thought they had done quite well.
He sat in his car at a red light thinking about what he wanted to do for their special day, when he noticed a familiar car. The light blue camero sat in front of him, it was Christi's. He was sure of that. Only it was a man driving instead of her. Did someone steal her car, he thought. It was Christi's alright, had the same stickers and everything.
The light turns green, and Matt races the man to the next light which happens to be red. Matt gets out of his car, and walks up to the other one. He stands in shock, as Christi sits up and wipes off her mouth.
"MATT!!" She screams in shock.
"Christi!!" He says, as he realizes who the woman is.
The man takes off, as soon as the light turns green. Matt stands watching them leave with his mouth hanging open.
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Beth makes it to her apartment and tries to unlock the door with shaking hands. Her keys fall to the ground, and into a grate on the floor. She puts her back to the door and slides down it laughing. All that time he had been sick and out with the guys, he had been with her. OR was it a different one each night, she thought. She knocked on the door, and hoped Trendi would hear her. "Trendi!" She yelled, through fits of laughter.
Trendi opened the door, and jumped back when Beth fell into the room. "What are you doing down there?" Trendi asked.
"OH Trendi!!" She said, and started to cry and laugh at the same time. " There was another woman over there.. All this time, he was with her too. "
"Jeff called earlier." Trendi said, as she helped Beth up.
"Really.I thought he was mad at me." Beth said, as she blew her nose.
"Call him." Trendi said, and handed her the phone. "Did you beat up the slut??"
"She didn't even know I existed." Beth said laughing. "I threw a can of soup at them, made a good dent in the wall. Can you believe he introduced us, I don't think she liked that much."
The phone rings, and Beth answers it hoping it is Jeff.
"Beth!! OH Beth, I have so much to tell you." Michelle cries into the phone.
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Matt walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He was going to get drunk that night, and no one was going to stop him. He knew that it wouldn't help, he was only going to get a hangover. He didn't care, he just wanted to forget for a little while. He had finally opened up to her, and told her he loved her. Wasn't that enough, he thought.
"What's your poison?" The bartender asks.
"Whatever is strong." Matt says and puts a hundred dollar bill on the bar.
The bartender winks, and puts a Come Fuck Me Quickly up on the bar.
"Good God what is in this?? It tastes like cough medicine." Matt laughs.
"It's good for what ails you though." The bartender says, as she puts another one up on the bar for him.
He drinks a few of them and then stands up. The whole bar spins, and he sits back down.
"Woah, woah. I think I am drunk." Matt says laughing. "Do you have thirty five cents. I don't think I could reach in my pocket right now. I am calling for a ride....yes, that's a good idea i think. "
The lady hands him a phone from behind the counter. He calls Jeff and then remembers that he hasn't been using his phone lately. He wished Rachel was well to call. "Can I have another drink?" He asks the bartender. She sits another of the same drink on the counter. He didnt want to call home, but he did. "Dad, dad...can you come get me. I am so drunk." He says, and then falls off the stool and passes out.