Elaboration

First Revision Strategies for Writing Pieces

Read your piece to a partner.  Your partner will listen for places in your story where you can add more detailed information.  Mark these places as you read through your piece.

  Try at least two elaborations, or try them all!!

Character

This is the time to give us more showing and telling information.  Pick a key feature of the person (hair, eyes, head, speech, etc.) and develop your character in as much detail as possible (without going overboard).  :  How do his hands look?  How does her mouth look when she smiles?  What color are her eyes (use a simile)?  What is his favorite expression/saying?

Dialogue

  Let your characters talk.  Show feelings, personality, and the thoughts inside their head.  Remember to indent/skip a line and follow proper punctuation rules.

Scene Setting

  Where are you?  Focus on the details around you.  This is a good time to pretend you are writing an SDT.  Notice the little things:  bugs on a flower, pictures on a wall, the design of a building, the furniture in a room, etc. Make sure your reader knows where you are and what you are talking about.

Inside/Outside Stuff

  Work on balancing inside stuff (thoughts and feelings) with outside stuff (details, conversation, and setting).  Your story should be all conversation or all character feelings but a combination of both.

Write More

See what else you know about this memory.  Ask yourself, “What happened next?”  Write about anything that might be connected to this event and try to figure out how it all could/does work together.  Go back to your portfolio and see if anything else you’ve written is about the same topic and if the two pieces could be combined into one.

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