I Will Buy You a New Life
Chapter 15
~*"No one can tell you what love is, you will simply know it when you feel nothing else."- unknown*~
Weeks had passed since Angelina had talked to anyone besides her boss telling her that she couldn’t come into work. She thought about Brian constantly. He called everyday and left a message on her answering machine. He’d even been by her apartment a few times, but she never opened the door for him. She always pretended she wasn’t home. Nick had called and called the first few days after their fight, but she never answered the phone or called him back, so eventually he gave up. Brian refused to give up, though. He was determined to convince her of his love again. He knew she was just scared and needed to be opened up again. He also knew he was the only person who could do that. It was up to him to save her before she did something drastic. He sat on the front stoop of her apartment complex, waiting for her to come outside to walk Killer. The night was so cold it was suffocating almost and the rain was so hard, he could barely see the sidewalk. Thankfully there was an overhang in front her building. He wrapped his arms around himself and waited. Finally, she appeared in the doorway. He almost didn’t recognize her because of the pale almost lifeless look on her face. There were bags under her eyes and she looked depressed. Brian stood up and looked her over. Her clothes were wrinkled so bad you could hardly tell if she was wearing clothes or newspapers. She didn’t look like a human, but a corpse rather. She didn’t notice him and she knelt down to fasten the leash to her little dogs collar. She stood up, and began walking down the steps, her head hanging low. Finally, she saw his shoes and looked up. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked at him. He looked just as disheveled as she did, if not worse. His hair was a lot longer then he normally let it get and it appeared that he hadn’t shaved in a month. His normally cheerful bright blue eyes had a glum grey color to them and his clothes were just as wrinkled as hers.
“Hi,” he said quietly, almost inaudibly. She didn’t say anything to him, just stared as tears welled up in her eyes. She was the reason he looked like this. It was her fault. He was in pain because of her. Why couldn’t he just let go? She prayed that someone new would come into his life and he’d be happy again without her. She needed him to be happy without her. “How are you?” he asked, pulling his hat over his eyes a bit so she wouldn’t see the pain in his eyes.
“Okay,” she said in a monotone voice. She realized then that she did love him and had since the day they met…but it was too late. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him she loved him, but they were too far gone. Their relationship was dead in her eyes. Angelina and Brian would never live again. Without realizing it, she let go of Killer’s leash, and he immediately ran to Brian, his front paws on Brian’s shin as he wagged his tale and barked at him. Brian smiled meekly and scooped the small dog up in his arms.
“Hey little guy,” he said, forcing a smile as he rubbed the dogs soft fur. Angelina’s heart twisted in her chest. Why couldn’t he just go away? All she wanted was to be alone, wasn’t it? He looked up at Angelina and saw her looking down at the ground. He wanted to know what she was thinking. He wished he could get inside her head and figure out why she pushed him away again. “We need to talk, Angel.” She jerked her head up and looked at him.
“I really have to take Killer out,” she said walking to him and snatching her dog out of his arms. “He hasn’t been out all day.” Brian shuddered. Whether it was from the coldness in the air, the coldness in her voice, or the warmth of her body being so close to his, he didn’t know.
“Well, do you mind if I walk with you then?” he asked, hopefully. Angelina met his gaze for the first time that day and saw him pleading with her. She shook her head and tore her eyes away from him.
“I don’t think that would be—“
“What happened, Angelina?” he asked grabbing her elbow to stop her from walking away. “What happened between us? What did I say or do to make you push me away again? Whatever it is, I’ll fix it. I love you, can’t you see that? I love you more then I’ve loved anything or anyone in my whole life. I would die for you in a heartbeat. Why can’t you just let me in? Why can’t you keep your heart open for me? Why can’t you love me?” his shoulders shook as tears poured out of his eyes. He sat on the stoop where he had been previously and cried, asking over and over “why?” Angelina didn’t know what to do. She wanted to sit next to him and comfort him, but she couldn’t. It wasn’t right. She’d put him through so much already, he didn’t need to be dragged through any more of her bullshit.
“I love you,” she whispered. She hadn’t meant for the words to come out. She didn’t even realize she’d said them until he looked up at her, tears rolling down his face. He looked confused.
“What’d you just say?” he asked, sniffling and rubbing his nose. Angelina didn’t know if she would be able to make the words come out again. She prayed she could find that brave voice and say it again, but she couldn’t. She shook her head, looking down at the cement beneath them. “Did you just say you love me?” He looked at her hopefully, praying he had heard her right. Without realizing it, she nodded her head. He grinned and stepped briskly towards her and wrapped his arms around her. His eyes seemed to lighten 3 shades as he looked deep into her eyes. She smiled up at him, knowing that’s what he needed to see. Inside, she was collapsing even more. He slowly lowered his lips to hers and kissed her softly. He pulled away grinning, then looked out over the street. “Looks like the storm stopped,” he said gesturing to their surroundings. Angelina looked around and noticed that the only traces of rain at all were a few puddles on the sidewalk. Other then that, it was a bright sunny day.
“Looks like Killer’s done, huh?” asked Angelina looking down at her dog asleep on the pavement. Brian nodded and kneeled down to scoop the dog up in his arms. “Let’s go inside,” she said smiling. He followed her up the stairs, then placed Killer on the couch when they got inside. The small dog stayed sleeping the whole time.
“That little guy sleeps more sound then I do,” he said, grinning. He looked over at Angelina who was sitting in the window seat, looking out over her street. He walked over and took a seat near her feet, placing his hand over hers. “You okay baby?” he asked. She nodded her head, looking over at him. He noticed the stain of a single tear from her right eye and instantly opened his arms for her. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m just so happy that you came by today. You would be appalled by my thoughts these last few weeks. I mean, look at me. I look like a bum.”
“No you don’t. You look like an angel.” She looked up into his eyes and smiled brightly. “You look like my angel.” She loved looking into his eyes, loved seeing all the love he had for her deep inside. She slowly moved her lips to his and kissed him softly at first, then crescendoing into the most passionate kiss they’d ever shared. She pulled away from him abruptly, leaving him with his lips halfway parted and his eyes still closed tightly. He opened them in time to see her walking down the hallway. “Where are you going?” he asked, following her. He walked into her bedroom and saw her sitting on the edge of her bed. She patted the seat next to her and he instantly sat down beside her, putting an arm around her.
“Brian.”
“Yeah baby?” he asked, meeting her gaze.
“I…I want you to…I want…” He put his finger to her lips, shushing her.
“Take a breath baby,” she did as she was told, then looked back into his eyes. “Calm down. What is it you want me to do? You know I’ll do anything for you.”
“I…I don’t know how to…”
“How to what?”
“Brian, will you make love to me?” Brian nearly fell off the bed when the words left her mouth. Of all the possible scenarios running through his mind, that idea had never come up. “I know that’s such a stupid question to ask and I feel like a—“ Brian silenced her with his lips.
“Do you really want me to? I mean, are you ready? I don’t want you to feel like this is something—“
“Baby, if I didn’t want this, why would I have asked?” He shrugged his shoulders, and laid down on her bed, his hands behind his head. She reached her hand behind her head and took the clip out of her hair, letting it fall down just past her shoulders. She turned around, her knees digging into the mattress and looked down at him. “What’s wrong?” Brian looked up at her. He didn’t have a problem with doing this at all, but he didn’t want her to feel obligated to do this with him simply because they were in love. He knew what a big deal this was to her because of her few encounters with sex in the past, none of which were good encounters. He studied her face for a few minutes before sitting up next to her and taking her hand.
“Look, I know you’re going to tell me to stop being so dumb, but I really want to be sure you’re ready.”
“I’m sure. I love you so much and I want to share everything with you, especially this. I trust you, Brian, and I know that you won’t hurt me. I know doing this with you will be heaven. It will be nothing at all like my past experiences,” she shuddered as she said the last two words. “In my eyes, I’m still a virgin. I don’t consider those times with Dominick anything. It’s not a part of my life anymore. I’ve never known a love like this before and I want you to show me everything, especially this. If I were a true virgin, I would want you to be my first, and that’s what I’m asking you to do. Be my first, Brian.” He looked at her. Damn, that was powerful. He didn’t know how he felt about taking her “virginity.” That was something he’d always believed should be kept until marriage…not that he had kept his. But this was different, or was it? She sighed and flopped down on the mattress. “Why don’t you believe me?”
“I do believe you baby. I just don’t want you to regret anything said or done here,” he said laying down next to her, and wrapping his arm around her waist. He pulled her close to his body and snuggled his face into her smooth hair. She turned her head to face him and captured his lips with hers. Her hand traveled up to the side of his face and she ran her finger along his strong jaw, down his neck, past his chest, and stopped when she got to the hem of his shirt. They pulled out of their kiss briefly enough for the two of them to pull his shirt off his body and toss it on the ground. Her hands roamed down his chest, and soon he was laying on top of her. She rubbed her nails up and down his back as he kissed and sucked on her neck. She moaned softly, almost purring when he kissed her just behind her earlobe. He moved his lips back to hers and kissed her softly over and over as he worked her shirt over her head. She shuddered as the cold air hit her warm body.
“Let’s move up to the pillows, okay?” she asked, slipping out from beneath him and scooting up the length of her bed backwards. Brian crawled back up to her and took her lips back in his.
“God, you’re gorgeous,” he said between kisses. She smiled into his mouth before moving her lips down to his neck, planting small kisses all the way down his chest then back up again. He was laying down now, and she was hovering above him. She was straddling his lower stomach as she sucked on his neck a few moments longer then she had previously. She sat up and reached her hands behind her back unclasping her bra. She tossed the fabric aside and looked back down at him. He grinned up at her as she moved back down, kissing him again. He rubbed his hands up and down her back before he finally found the courage to touch her breasts. He gently played with the right one in his left hand as they continued kissing before rolling them over, reclaiming the dominant position. She moaned softly in his mouth as he played with her nipples, making them hard. He slipped his tongue down her body until reaching his destination. She held onto his neck as he licked around her hard nipple and played with the other in his hand. Never in her life had she felt so incredible. When he was satisfied with his work on both breasts, he kissed his way back up to her lips. He kissed her softly, then pulled away and simply looked down into her light green eyes.
“You really are an angel, you know that right?” he asked, kissing her again just behind her earlobe. She moaned in response. “And I think I’ve found your spot,” he said chuckling. “I love you, Angel,” he said pushing her hair behind her ears.
“Love you more,” she grinned. He pressed his lips back to hers and ran his hand down the side of her body until reached the top of her jeans. With one hand he unbuttoned and unzipped her black corduroys and left her in nothing but her royal blue panties.
“I like the color,” he said smiling at her. She smiled back and hooked her thumbs underneath the thin blue fabric and slid them down her body, then kicked them off and onto the floor. Then she moved her hands to the front of Brian’s jeans and undid his belt and slipped it painfully slow through each lope. She then tossed the belt on the floor by the rest of their clothes. She unbuttoned and unzipped his pants slowly and was about to take them off of him when he stopped her. “Wait, let me grab my wallet,” he said reaching in his back pocket. He tossed the brown leather wallet on the nightstand and looked back down at her.
“What, ya scared I’m gonna steal your millions?” she asked giggling as she slipped his jeans the rest of the way down his body and he helped her get them off the rest of the way. He laughed with her and shook his head.
“Nah, I trust you with my millions. It’s those billions I’m a little shaky about,” he grinned and kissed her neck a few more times before he felt her hands slip down to the waistband of his boxers. He grabbed her hands before she could get them down at all and forced her to look at him. “You’re still sure, right? Cause once my boxers are off we’re both naked and God knows what’ll happen then.” She smiled at him, clasping her arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. She ran her hands down his back and rested them back on the waistband of his boxers. She hooked her thumbs beneath them and slipped them down his body. He helped her by kicking them off the rest of the way when she got them down to his knees. She moved her hands back up his body until they were resting on his shoulders. “No foreplay right, you just want to get this show on the road?” She laughed lightly and nodded her head.
“Have I mentioned how utterly stunning you look without any clothes on?” she asked as he reached over to the nightstand to grab his wallet. “Hey, no need to pay in advance,” she grinned as he opened it and found what he was looking for. “I always wondered where guys kept that sort of stuff. What else ya got in there?” she asked trying to snatch his wallet out of his hands. He laughed and threw it on the ground, far far away from her.
“You’ll have time to go through my personal stuff later. Right now, my love, we’re kind of busy.” She smiled and kissed the tip of his nose. “You ready?” he asked her. She responded by wrapping her legs around his waist. “I love you. Tell me if you’re hurting, okay?” She nodded, taking a deep breath. He intertwined his fingers with her own and in one quick movement he was inside of her. He stayed still for a second to be sure she was okay.
“I’m not going to break, baby,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. His strokes were long and slow, simply reassuring her that he wouldn’t hurt her. A few tears escaped her eyes and he nearly pulled out, but she stopped him, wiping them away. He knew why she was crying. He’d cried the first time he had meaningful sex too. In a matter of minutes, she was urging him to go faster. He happily obliged and sped up his pace, moving in and out of her faster and faster each time. The two of them moaned and groaned so loud she was sure the neighbors could hear them. He moved faster and faster in and out of her, making her buck her hips up to meet his thrusts. She felt the sweat of their two bodies saturating the sheets below them as he thrust into her harder and faster. She dug her nails into his back as her orgasm rapidly approached. He knew she was close and purposely sped up. He wanted her to remember their first time forever. He felt her walls clench around him as she screamed his name and her orgasm took over. She had a full body spasm as Brian continued to thrust into her, needing his own release and wanting to prolong her orgasm. Soon after her, he exploded into her body and collapsed on top of her. He slipped out of her slowly and disposed of the used condom properly. She ran her nails through his sweaty hair and smiled at him, looking deep into his sky blue eyes. He pulled the comforter from her bed up from beneath them and the two moved beneath the sheets as they held each other in contentment. She soon drifted off to sleep to the rhythm of his heartbeat. He pulled her as close to him as possible and rested his head over hers and he too soon fell asleep.
-=Chapter 16=-
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