I never dreamed that the boy's career
would take off so fast…so high.

Although, they didn't make in America at first however…
no, overseas wanted my boys!

I grew to love everyone as time went on and soon enough,
all the guys were like brothers, with me as their lil sis!

I can remember the first concert they ever had… how Brian bit each
of his fingernails until they bled, and how Nick paced nervously back and forth.

Poor Nick couldn't even get his make-up done properly because
he was sweating so much.

"Your gonna be ok Nicky!" Kevin said in a soothing voice, but I
knew Kevin, I knew that deep down inside…he was a nervous wreck!

I hugged all of them, wished them luck and took my seat next to Denise
(A.J.'s mom) in front row.

Back then, Backstreet Boys didn't have an opening act because THEY were the
opening act.

I winked at Denise as the music roared over the speakers.

The tune of 'We've Got It Goin' On' filled the room with screams as the
five boys took the stage.

Brian's voice was shaky, as beads of sweat formed on his forehead.

'OH come on Brian, you can do it!' I thought to myself as Brian's heavenly
voice filled the room.

AJ was next; he was so nervous…I'm surprised he didn't throw the
microphone down and jump into Denise's lap sucking his thumb!

But he kept cool through the song and boy, could he dance.

That was one thing about AJ that made me just love him, besides the
fact that he could sing, and he was hilarious...the boy could cuta rug!

I laughed as Nick tried to be sexy shaking his pelvic.

'I hope he gets better at that!' I thought to myself.

Even though I was only thirteen years old, I knew the way of the
world and I knew what the guys needed to do to get those girls
hearts pumping!

After the show, I walked back stage to see all the guys drinking water
and panting hard.

"You guys did so good!" I remember saying as Brian embraced me in a hug.

I could tell he was glad the show was over but Nick was raring
to go, he wanted to get back on that stage so bad he could taste it!

One of my fondest memories of being apart of Nick's
life was the first day he kissed me!

I remember it clearly, the sweet taste of his lips against mine,
the way he moved so slowly!

Now that I look back, I realize that it was the best kiss Nick and me ever shared!

I was fourteen years old as Nick was sixteen, it was their first European
award…for best upcoming group!

Nick was so excited he could hardly contain himself, as soon as the
words came out of the host mouth "Backstreet Boys," Nick jumped up and down
screaming.

I remember giving each of the guys a hug, but Nick held me
different…it was like he had seen me for the first time like I wanted him too!

I remember poor Howie passing out for a brief second and then
jumping up suddenly screaming "MOMMY, I DID IT!!!" Everyone
laughed as Howie blushed.

I remember watching Nick strut up the stage and tripping on his two
own feet, he blushed as he fell onto Brian and the auditorium filled with laughter.

Nick tried to play it cool but I knew he wanted to crawl in a hole
and bury himself in it…..I clapped and cheered as they excepted the award.

Later on that night, Johnny had put together a huge party for the guys!

We all walked in to see Johnny, Donna, all the bodyguards, songwriters and the
guy's family.

I could see the happiness in Brian and Kevin as they ran to hug their parents.

When Brian was finished hugging Jackie (his mom), I ran to her for a hug also!

I remember it so clearly, I remember Nick taking my hand and taking me outside to 'talk.'

I agreed and followed him outside, when we got outside he took me into
his arms saying, "I can't believe we won our first award tonight… I thought the day would
never come! My life is complete now except for one thing!"

"What?" I remember saying as I felt him wrap his hands around my waist,
brush my long blond hair from my face and kiss me softly on the lips.

I can still taste the sweetness and I can still feel his lips, the most sweetest lips
I ever felt and the sad part is that I will never be able to feel them again!