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by Joyce Guy

I presented to the Emergency room
with pain in chest and arm;
I quite down played my symptoms,
so my mate would not alarm.

The doctor there was typical
of the way a male can be
when he phoned the cardiologist,
after  checking me.

He said, "She's late middle aged , you know
It's not likely PMS...
her hormones could be high or low,
but gastric is my guess.

I think  I can assure you
It will not indicate her heart,
when I get the lab results
of the tests I'm gonna start;

She's probably just bored with life,
 I'll bet her kids have gone,
her husband, no doubt, works,
and she sits home  alone.

She reads Ladies Home Journal,
Of that I have no doubt,
with it's many articles
on diseases,  malaise, and gout.

I'll bet she reads the Journal,
watches TV by the hour,
and, like a multitude of others,
has succumbed to suggestive power.

"Guess what," he said much later,
as he phoned the surgeon back,
"That little old middle aged lady
has had a heart attack."

Little Old Middle Aged Lady

by Joyce Guy

This slightly obese
middle aged lady
presents to the ER
with complaint of a malady.

The doctor quite sternly
uttered to me,
"You read too much Journal,
watch too much TV.

Women your age
have a need to complain
because their children are grown,
and they feel useless again.

Get you a hobby,
or go volunteer,
and tell my nurse
I'll see you next year.

He knows not nor cares
I work 12 hours a day,
then do the yard,
and get the house squared away.

He did not examine
this lump in my breast,
nor bother to ask
why I'm unable to rest.

For he thinks he knows,
as he guesses my age,
that I'm a common complainer,
that it's all the rage.

He makes the assumption
as so many do,
that I'm a middle aged lady
depressed or just blue.

But I have his number,
and he is not alone,
this cocky young guy
with "Male Doctor Syndrome".


by Joyce Guy

My husband goes to the doctor at the drop of a shoe,
for a stuffy nose or a sniffle or two;
Doc. takes time  to check ventilation,
to offer kind words  of commiseration .

He gives a few samples of the latest new meds.,
and recommends treatment to bring relief to his head.
 He pats his shoulder, and tells this dear man,
"If you're not better soon come see me again."

But I see the same doc  for my once yearly check
and mention some pain and extreme stiffness of neck.
He dictates a note and says to my face
"The things women imagine is such a disgrace."

You are a typical  middle aged lady
with nothing to do  but try every malady.
Go home to your husband meet his expectations,
Think positive thoughts in these situations.



Fishing Tackle

by Joyce Guy

My grandson who is 8 years old
tried a special fishing cast,
that he had seen on a TV show,
guaranteed to catch a bass.

With an air of great excitement
he released his line to spin
expecting to catch a great big fish
and reel the trophy in.

As the line reached way behind
then came flying from the rear
the hook came sailing awfully close
and caught him in the ear.

The Rankest Bull Alive

Joyce Guy

The rankest bull alive
moils in the rider's chute;
the best have unsuccessfully
tried to conquor this brute.

Restless rippling of muscles,
as he rares and kicks, unsubdued,
challenge the greatest of champions,
in a manner both brazen and rude.

The ghosts of his past performances
follow the length of his trail,
as he slams the fiercest of challengers
in dust 'neath his heels and his tail.

Due to the fire of his fury,
and dispatch wherewith victims are flung,
they call this poisionous monster,
so unruly and empowered...'the tongue'.

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