Chapter 9: Licorice Orcs!

The group was now inside of Moria, and Beatrice's hobbit-like appetite was getting the best of her.

Beatrice: I'm hungry.

Others: *ignore her and keep on walking*

They finally reached their desolate destination.

Gandalf: Here we are. (Beatrice: I'm hungry. Others: *ignore her*)

Gimli: *sees a light coming a not so distant chamber. runs to it*

Others: No! *run after Gimli*

From inside of the chamber, Gimli's moans could be heard.

Gimli: Nooooooo! *standing over a tomb with runes written over it* Nooo. *sobbing*

Gandalf: *reads the runes* Here lies Balin son of Fundin, Lord of Moria... (Gimli: *sobs*)

Legolas: *pats Gimli* It's okay...

Beatrice: I'm hungry.

Others: *shoot Beatrice a dirty look*

Merry: *jabs Beatrice in the rib*

Beatrice: What? I'm hungry?

Others: *keep glaring at her*

Meanwhile, Gandalf had found a book on the floor. Giving Pippin his hat to hold, he picked up the book, and read some of the depressing lines inside it out loud. Bored, Pippin had wandered over a well. Sitting upon the well with several arrows in its chest was a skeleton; a rather ugly one at that. The young hobbit felt he could not hold back his curiosity.... he had to touch it.... he longed to touch it.... it was calling to him. Pippin stretched his short arm out and touched the arrow. But as soon as his fingertips had felt it, the skeleton fell backward into the well, followed by a bucket, which caused a loud ruckus. But the most disturbing thing to Pippin was the amount of time it took for him to hear the corpse hit the bottom of the well. He closed his eyes and winced. For it was not just the thought of being yelled at, now, but the thought of it being him that was falling down that deep well, that had raced through his mind.

Gandalf: *turns to Pippin* You fool of a Took! *shuts book* Next time, throw yourself in!

Pippin: *looks like he's about to cry*

Beatrice: *mutters* Poor Pip. *says out loud* I'm hungry!

Still the others ignored her. 'Why are they ignoring me? I've never been this hungry before! Is it because I'm becoming more of a hobbit, with their big appetites? Oh, I'm so hungry! In fact, I think I could eat an orc!' These were the thoughts running through Beatrice's mind. Slowly, her thoughts become more ravenous... slowly, the girl's sanity was running out. For, as her hunger increased, so did her insanity. And her hunger increased at an alarming rate! Soon, the others seem to notice that Beatrice wasn't looking herself: a deranged look had come upon her face. Her surroundings started blurring. Instead of hobbits, Beatrice was staring at weenies! And Gandalf was a prune! Legolas was a slender banana, and Gimli was a leg of turkey! She looked around to see a hamburger in Boromir's place, and as for Aragorn... well, now all she saw was Beef Jerky.

Beatrice: I never did have a liking for beef jerky... *turns away from Aragorn*

Frodo: *backing away from Beatrice* Gandalf, why is Beatrice looking at us like that?

Gandalf: I'm afraid we were wrong in ignoring her when she had said that she was hungry.

Beatrice: *approaches the hobbits*

Pippin: *pulling at the suspenders that connected him to Beatrice* Oh, why do these knots have to be so tight?!

Beatrice: WEENIES! *lunges at the hobbits*

But just as Beatrice was about to, literally, `eat Pippin up', Frodo's sword (aka `Orc Detector') started to glow blue.

Everyone: Uh oh...

Boromir shut the door, and Legolas got ready to shoot his arrows. But Beatrice on the other hand was suddenly having a craving for licorice...

Orcs: *claw through the door and run in*

Beatrice: LICORICE! *lunges at the confused orcs*

The rest of the fellowship stood behind Beatrice, gaping at the horror of her devour a whole troop of orcs, as well as a troll, moments later. Within a few minutes there was nothing left of the monsters, not even their bones.

Sam: She must've been pre-tty hungry...

Beatrice: -BURP!-

In munching down the orcs and the troll, Beatrice's hunger had died down, as well as her insanity. Though, she had not the time for being happy about her sanity returning, for now she felt all those orcs coming back up.

Beatrice: I think I'm gonna be sick! *runs to the well, and starts vomiting, ejecting her puke down the well*

And while Beatrice threw up everything that she had just ate, the others rested for a while, and consoled Gimli with the sadness of losing all of his loved ones.