Chapter 10: It's Already Chapter 10? Dang!

Anyhoo... after Beatrice had finished vomitting up the orcs and troll, they all got ready to bid the chamber farewell. They were walking in the endless darkness, when they suddenly realized that they weren't alone.

Legolas: My keen ears tell me that we aren't alone.

Didn't I just say that?

Everyone: *ignore the author*

Anyhoo... they started walking faster, as they could hear breathing that was not theirs. As the breathing got louder, they started walking even faster. And when they could see black icky things creeping down the collumns, they started running. But the company was not quick enough, for before the author's friend who-will-not-be-named could say 'COMMIE!' (don't ask), they were surrounded by hundreds (maybe even THOUSANDS) of screaming orcs.

Beatrice: Crap.

The orcs were closing in on them, and the company was standing so close to each other they could feel each other sweat.

Sam: *to Beatrice* Do you always sweat so much?

Beatrice: Only when I'm utterly terrified...

But just when they thought that all was lost, the orcs stopped moving and screaming. In moments the orcs had slithered back into the darkness, though their yellow eyes could still be seen eyeing the fellowship. But before they could crack open the champagne and celebrate, the sound of drums could be heard. DOOM DOOM. The dark darkness was suddenly getting lighter as well as warmer.

Frodo: *worried* Where's that light coming from?

Gandalf: Oh, nothing... just an ancient demon-thing that the dwarfs awoke when digging for gold and whatnot here in Moria...

Everyone minus Gimli: *gives Gimli a dirty look*

Gimli: What? I, myself, didn't awake the evil demon thing!

Legolas: To be more specific, that evil demon thing is called a bullfrog.

Gimli: Balrog.

Legolas: *mimics Gimli's voice* I didn't awake the evil demon thing!

Beatrice: Speaking of which.... *points at the red light which is getting brighter*

Just as Beatrice had said this, flames started shotting out from where the red light, the drums, and the heat was coming from.

Gandalf: RUN, YOU FOOLS!

And as soon as THIS was said the company started running, with Beatrice in the lead screaming "I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!" along with three hobbits flying bellies forward right behind her. (Remember, they're connected by the suspenders!) And behind that was Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, Frodo, Aragorn, and Gandalf way in the back. Now, Beatrice wasn't what you would call 'swift', but in desperate times such as these, she could run pre-tty fast. She ran right into a big chamber, but she was running so fast that she didn't notice that there was a pit of molten lava (or fire, whatever you imagine it to be!) right beneath her. She ran right off the so-called 'cliff' and had the others not stopped themselves (and had they had not been connected by suspenders), she would've fallen to her doom. (Yeah, I know, you really wanted that to happen!) But instead she was merely hanging bottom-up. In a few moments the others had arrived, and realized that they were missing someone.

Aragorn: Are we missing someone?

Beatrice: Down here!

Others: *look down*

Boromir: Oh, hello, Beatrice! What are you doing down there?

Beatrice: Having a tea party! I'm in peril, you moron!

Boromir: Well, if you're going to talk to me like that, then I won't help you!

Beatrice: Gaaaaah! SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! HELP ME!

And because her pleading voice was very hard to bare (Legolas: My ears! My large, pointy elf ears!), they decided to pull her up, after all. But at the last moment, the low quality hobbit suspenders ripped and Beatrice plummeted to her doom screaming curses at their 'damn suspenders'. NOT! Actually, right after they ripped, Beatrice grabbed Lego's pretty blond hair (Legolas: NO! Not the hair!), and climbed her way up to safety. (Beatrice: *to Legolas* From now on, I'm callin' you Rapunzel! Others: WHAT? Beatrice: Oh, never mind!) They ran to the narrow bridge of Kazad Dúm, followed by the bullfrog (Gimli: BALROG!)- erm, BALROG.

Gandalf: Run ahead of me! I'll keep it away!

Frodo: But-but...

Gandalf: Just go, Frodo!

They ran single file across the bridge occasionally dodging orc arrows. But to their dismay, when they had gone halfway through, they found that the bridge broke from there.

Beatrice: Crap.

Legolas: *jumps over the bridge* Hey, Aragorn! Toss the other people over!

Boromir: I ain't gettin' tossed! *hops over crack*

Merry and Pippin: *get tossed* Weeee!

Sam: Me next!

Aragorn: *tosses Sam* Whoa, Nelly! You're a big boy! (Sam: Hmph!)

Beatrice: *to Aragorn* Don't worry! I'm a pro at jumping long distances! *takes a running start and then leaps over the bridge, only to fall on top of Sam*

Sam: NOT AGAIN!

Beatrice: Uh, hehehe... *clambers off of Sam*

Aragorn: *About to toss Gimli*

Gimli: *backs away from Aragorn* Nobody tosses a dwarf! *jumps over bridge, but is on the edge and about to fall when Lego grbs his bear and pulls him up* Not the beard!

The gap was widening and soon it had become very hard for anyone to jump off.

People already across: Jump Frodo, jump!

But Frodo looked back at Gandalf, and saw that a big ugly fire monster-thing was coming forward.

Everyone: -GASP!-

Gandalf: *puts his staff down firm* YOU WILL NOT PASS!

Balrog: ROAR!

Gandalf: I SAID 'You will not pass'!

Balrog: Roar?

Gandalf: GO AWAY! YOU SMELL!

Balrog: ROAR! HEY, ROAR, I use ROAR deoderant ROAR! *whips the bridge in anger. realizes his mistake* Oops ROAR. *bridge cracks under his feet* BYE BYE!

Gandalf: *looks down* Byeeeee!

Balrog: Oh, I don't ROAR think so! *using his whip he grabs Gandalf's feet, Gandalf falls off the bridge and is holding on to the ledge*

Frodo: GANDALF! *runs over to Gandalf*

Gandalf: So did I have a good reason for being afraid of the dark, or what? (Others: .....) Did I say that out loud! See ya! *lets go and plummets to his dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom*

Frodo: GANDALF! NOOOOOOO! *crying*

Aragorn: *pills Frodo back, tosses him over the bridge to Boromir and jumps over the bridge, too, dodging orc arrows*

Legolas: *running out, shoots a few orcs in the eyeballs* Ka-CHING!

They all ran out of the darkness of Moria, followed by the arrows of the orcs. Weeping, the hobbits (not counting Beatrice who isn't a hobbit... yet) fell to the ground. Frodo wept silently, away from the group, while Sam wept openly, as well as Merry and Pippin who sobbed loudly, in each other's arms. Tears streamed down the faces of the other members of the fellowship. Beatrice hid her feet in the ground, and sobbed into her knees.

Aragorn: Come on! Stop crying! We've gotta get a move on!

Boromir: How can you be like this? They've just experienced a great loss in their lives and all you can say is 'we've gotta get a move on'? Let them get it out of their system; everyone could use a good cry.

Aragorn: You're right... but lets not take the whole day.

And so, they cried for some time, and finally everyone was ready to go... that is, except for Beatrice. She sat behind a bush weeping into her knees.

Legolas: I know how you feel... it's not easy to lose someone...

Beatrice: *looks at him* No! You DON'T understand! I don't suppose YOUR feet have grown a size larger than they used to be!

By this time, everyone had come over to see what was the matter. Beatrice stuck her feet out into the light for everyone to see. Upon seeing her feet, the others gasped.

Pippin: You're feet! They've... they've..

Merry: They've grown!

Beatrice: No duh! Look at them! They're humongous!

Aragorn: *inspects her feet* Well, they're not really that big for a hobbit...

Beatrice: UGH! I'm not a hobbit!

Boromir: Yeah, whatever...

And so, they trudged on in silence, as the loss of Gandalf was still fresh in their minds. Just then, Beatrice let out a rather loud sneeze.

Beatrice: Guys, I think I'm comin' down with a cold!

Pippin: How could you get a cold if you just came from such a warm place?

Beatrice: Dunno.... A-a-a-ACHOO!

And they went on like this for some time: Beatrice sneezing and constantly moaning about her hobbit-like features.